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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Monday, December 30, 2002 VOL. I Issue 12J E.E. DEVELOPS NASTY SKIN CONDITION E.E. Hinkle had an eye infection some days ago, which he was treating with pennicillin. He has developed some sort of rash on his right arm that is being speculated as being a sort of reaction to the pennicillin. Medical assistance has been been sought on this at the Highmore Clinic. More details will be forthcoming. 2002 THE YEAR OF NO NUDITY REQUIRED by Buster Brock of the Holabird Advocate Harold Hinkle always says that men want only 2 things: a beer, and to see something naked. Beer was optional in the entertainment world this year, although that would explain the popularity of of Ozzy and Eminem this year. Nudity did not spell success for a lot of folks in 2002. Former teen popstar, Tiffany, was in the April issue of this years Playboy. She was trying to get publicity for her upcoming album. Well, I didn't buy this album of hers. Did you? Incedently, if any of you Readers can arrange a viewing of the April Playboy for us, please do so (strictly for research purposes) George Clooney had a movie ( the name of which we forgot) in which he mooned the camera . Not even Mr. Clooney's backside could get people to the theater for this show. What was the biggest movie of the year. A real snoozefest called "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Harold Hinkle started watching this movie 3 times and he didn't see enough nudity to keep him awake either of those 3 times. I've seen the gal who was the "star" of this movie on various talk shows. Her being nude would have killed the movie for sure. PUBLISHERS NOTES by Jerry Hinkle Wednesday will mark the first anniversary of our Newsblog. We've had a lot of fun toogether and we've also learned a lot as well. I want to thank you, the Readers for giving this a try. Next year with Bravenet.com we may add a new service, depending on how the poll vote goes. If you have any ideas on what you'd like to see in the Holabird Advocate, feel free to let me know. I'm happy to do whatever it takes to enhance your reading pleasure. Because of publishing delays, I've been thinking of going to Blogger Pro. It is not a free service. I would like to find a corporate sponsor to pay for that if we end up doing that. Next month's poll, the first for the new year will ask the question. "Who should be our corporate sponsor?" Right now, I have 2 corporate sponsors in mind. Wells Fargo Bank has let quite a few of their employees read the Holabird Advocate. This is thanks in part to one of the original Readers. A young lady, who if she weren't already my cousin (and married to a guy who'd beat the tar out of me) I'd give a great big, wet, juicy kiss. Another possibility is the newly formed Venture Communications. We have at least one Reader from there. A little word of mouth and we could catch on there as well. Of course, you the Reader may not think we need Blogger Pro at all, so we will have that option as well. Please remember that just becuse I ask doesn't mean that either of these businesses will sponsor us. On behalf of myself and everyone else at the Holabird Advocate, have a Happy New Year. We'll see you next year. Saturday, December 28, 2002 VOL. I Issue 12I HAROLD HINKLE CAUSES THE BLIND TO SEE It's been called a Christmas miracle. Today E.E. Hinkle complained to his daughter-in-law, Mary during breakfast that he couldn't see good enough to read his customary chapter of the Bible. E.E.'s smartest son, Harold, went over to see what could be done. After trimming his father's nose hair, he noticed that E.E. wasn't wearing his glasses. Harold then looked for the glasses all over the house, finding them at a place where E.E. said they weren't. After placing his glasses upon his eyes, E.E. was reading like nobody's business. The question that remains, however, is Why didn't Mary figure this out herself. It doesn't really matter because now E.E. can sing "On the 4th day of Christmas, my smart son gave to me FOUR EYES!". Doesn't that make you feel better? PHEASANT HUNT WENT WELL Professor Ken Hansen manage to bag 2 pheasants before dinner time. The limit is 3, but there are plenty of frozen pheasants for him to take back home with him. Professor Hansen had to cut things short so he could take down Christmas lights for his mother-in-law, Agnes Hahn, so she can go to Hawaii. Friday, December 27, 2002 VOL. I Issue 12H JERRY HINKLE HAS GREEN CHRISTMAS Once again Christmas was pretty good to Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle. Instead of the usual crap that people usually get on Christmas, Jerry and his family had no Chia pets, Clappers, singing fish, and not even socks and underwear to contend with. Most of his gifts came in the form of cash. When asked what he was going to do with the filthy green stuff, he said, "I ain't a buyin' no socks and underwear, chum!". The Christmas dinner at Agnes Hahns home was divine as well. The prime rib roast was cooked to perfection, and there were plenty of leftovers to go around. One dessert that was worthy of mention was the hot fudge sundae cheesecake, which was Dianne Hoffman's contribution to the Christmas fun. As the name implies it was neither low in calories nor in fat. HUNTING POSIBLE ON PONDEROSA Earlier this week it was asked of Harold and Mary Hinkle if it were possible for Professor Ken Hansen of Waldorf College to bring his gun and his corn for some hunting. He was told that he could bring his gun, but to leave his corn at home and get it locally. The Professor's hunting party is expected at the Ponderosa at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning. There may still be birds in the trees. STILL CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Where did this month go? I was so unprepared for Christmas this year, and I'm sure that I won't get any better next year. I have always prided myself on my ability to get my Christmas cards written and mailed by November 30th. I mailed a total of two cards on the 19th of December. Those with e-mail get an e-card from me instead of a Christmas card. I was late in doing that as well. It is simply unexceptable for me to say, "Oh well, everybody else runs late too." Why are the holidays such a busy time? Why is it exactly that I'm busy, yet get nothing done. It could be, maybe, that I am getting older. I'm sure the Advent season went by at a crawl for my nieces. My 5 year-old niece Brit will have to wait for 20% of her life for next Christmas to roll around. My Grandad, on the other hand, has only to wait for 1% of his life. At any rate, today is only the 3rd day of Christmas. there are 9 more to go. Let's you and me use the next 9 days to think about the important part of Christmas. The love that went into everything that we did and had done. Heck, I just heard that the Birth of Jesus really took place on April 17, 6 B.C. I wonder if it really matters anyhow. Well, at least we celebrate Elvis's birthday on the right day. Be that as it may, I hope you had a Merry Christmas. Monday, December 23, 2002 VOL. I Issue 12G CHRISTMAS WEEK STARTS FOR HINKLES The Sunday School program at the Methodist Church in Highmore got the Hinkles in the Christmas spirit. Brittany Hinkle did a great job with her part in the show. Some folks thought the kids racing to the microphone was a bit much. Shelby Hinkle made so much noise during the service that Mary had to take her to the back room. Later on at the Ponderosa, there was pork loin with a choice of mashed potatoes or stuffing. For dessert, there was assorted cookies, fudge with nuts, and fudge without nuts as well. With so much food on the menu only one person, 100 year old E.E. Hinkle, was able to eat ice cream and cake after "Happy Birthday" had been sung to Noel Pothast. PONDEROSA ONLINE FOR A WHOLE AFTERNOON While Jerry Hinkle was in Huron on Market America business, Mary Hinkle went online with her computer that she bought with her own money. When she was done she neglected to disconnect and as far as can be determined was online from about 1pm to 5:30pm shortly after Jerry got home. Among those who called were Jerry himself, Wilbur Goehring, Doug Hinkle, and Kristi Hinkle. WHY DIE? THINK! INDEED by Jerry Hinkle, of the Holabird Advocate All over South Dakota along the roads there are signs that say "X marks the spot" "THINK!" and "Why Die". the "spot" mentioned in the sign is where a fatal automobile accident has happened. Hyde County will be getting another sign soon, I'm sad to say. A young lady was killed this weekend on a graveled county road. Another young lady is in the hospital. A young man is facing DUI charges and I don't know what all. "Merry Christmas", right. The Christmas tree display in the South Dakota capital building has a display of poinsettas sponsored by MADD. There is one plant for every person killed by a drinking driver the past year. I don't know the number of plants there are this year. Regardless, one plant is too many. Too much money is spent on those highway signs and on the poinsetta display. but the real cost is in human life. The empty place at the Christmas dinner table. The gifts that will not be openned. The plans and dreams for the next year. The life that could've been. It's all gone. It's not coming back. My dear Readers, please remember that drinking and driving is not the best way to celebrate the birth of our Lord, nor any other occasion for that matter. If not for yourself, then for the other people in your car, or on the road. TOP 10 CHRISTMAS WISHES OF OUR PUBLISHER, JERRY HINKLE by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Yes it's that time of year. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. So, FROM THE HOME OFFICE IN HOLABIRD SOUTH DAKOTA, THE TOP TEN WISHES OF ME, JERRY HINKLE.THINGS I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS. OK LET'S GO: 1. Peace on Earth 2. Good will to men 3. For everyone to love Christmas like my Grandma Agnes 4. To be as healthy as Grandad when I'm 100 5. I can't go into too much detail on this one, let's just say it involves Jennifer Garner, a weed eater, some Cool Whip, and a live chicken 6. More rain this year 7. The next winning Powerball numbers 8. To be able to go to McDonald's without that "guilty feeling" 9. Tires that never go flat 10.For Doug and Noel to get married and live happily ever after (or at least 2 weeks) Friday, December 20, 2002 VOL. I Issue 12F HINKLES SAY "ALOHA" TO HAWAII In this case "aloha" means "goodbye". It seems that Harold and Mary Hinkle couldn't get a flight out for less that $1400. Harold said that if he needs a vacation, he'll go to Arizona. At any rate, it looks like Harold and Mary will celebrate Elvismas at home instead of "Blue Hawaii". On the bright side, they will be able to attend their grandson Cade's 1st birthday party. NO CHRISTMAS GOOSE FOR AGNES HAHN Agnes Hahn will be serving prime rib for her Christmas dinner. Of course, there's always "room at the table" but you'd better call ahead or your plate may be empty, although that's not very likely with Agnes. SERVICE FOR ZILVERBERG TO BE HELD A memorial service for Lucinda Zilverberg, Daughter of Former Valley Township residents David and Carol Zilverberg, will be held on Friday January 3, 2003 at 2pm at the United Methodist Church in Highmore. Ms. Zilverberg died on Thanksgiving day, November 28, 2002 at the age of 52 years 1 month and 2 days fighting a brief battle with cancer. TRENT LOTT STEPS DOWN, NOW WHAT by Jerry Hinkle, of the Holabird Advocate Well the left leaning pot smokers in the media can really pat themselves on the back. After a relentless attack on the character of one of the leading members of the Senate, Trent Lott has decided to step down from his leadership post. It is important to note that he is still a member of the Senate, but for how long. The media is not the only one to blame. congressional members from both sides of the fence and our all the sudden wimpy President W are also to blame. Their silence on this issue spoke volumes to me. Weak as water, the lot of them WEAK AS WATER!!! You, the Reader, may think me a racist for suporting Senator Lott. This is not the case. I supported Senator Lott because, and only because, former South Dakota Senator, Larry "Press Release" Pressler, A witness to the speech Senator Lott made, said that the media made much ado about nothing. Of course, I suspected as much before he said that. I personally feel that Senator Lott was lying just to make Strom Thurmond feel good on his 100th birthday. Senator Lott is, after all, a politician. They do it all the time. As always opposing views are welcome for equal time publication. So far, I've not recieved one. I'll be waiting. Tuesday, December 17, 2002 VOL. I Issue 12E HINKLES MAKING HAWAII PLANS Harold and Mary Hinkle are starting to plan for their expected trip to Hawaii. Their departure date, interestingly enough is January 8th, Elvis's birthday (airports will be open on that day, go figure). So, if they do in fact go, they will spend Elvismas in "Blue Hawaii". Agnes Hahn got the "A-OK" from her doctor (A for Aloha, one assumes) so she will be going as well. In fact he wanted her to take him along with her. Mary arranged for Joyce Ferris to come over for that two week period to babysit Jerry and E.E. Hinkle ( they being too stupid to look after themselves and all). It is certain that she'll have vegetables with her when she comes. and as for the wild women, forget about it. CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY FOR THE HINKLES A couple of early Christmas presents have been opened at the Ponderosa. The first was a Grill 'n Cook, a George Foreman Grill knockoff, for Jerry Hinkle that was one-fifth the price of a Foreman. The Second was a Sauder china cabinet for Mary Hinkle. Sources say the cabinet was very heavy. Heavy enough to be made of oak, but for some reason cost was not disclosed. The Hinkles will be celebrating Christmas early as well. Their gift exchange will be on December 22nd. They will have a cake for Noel Pothast's birthday which is the 23rd. SOUTH DAKOTA SONGBOOK Here's another Gordy Pratt Christmas song for you, the Reader. The tune is "Jingle Bells" SANTA'S FINE HE'S ONLINE 1st verse Back in olden days the kids all made a list of all the things they want and mail it of to old St. Nick. In this computer age, the written letter's dead. The kids all run computers and e-mail him instead. chorus: Oh Santa's fine, He's online. booting up his ROM. Don't forget his new address claus@n.pole.com 2nd verse He knows if you've been bad, so be good for goodness sake. Santa now keeps track of it on his new database. The elves are obsolete, production is too hard. He orders toys from QVC and pays with Master Card. (repeat chorus) 3rd verse Santa's one big fear, it could happen in a flash. his computer screen goes blank, the hard drive does a crash. The message on the screen says retry or abort. It's Christmas Eve, he's on the Phone with Gateway Tech Suport (repeat chorus until sick of singing it) Monday, December 16, 2002 VOL. Issue 12D STREP INFECTIONS BECOMES EDIPDEMIC Severeral elementry school kids were taken ill with with strep throat. Among them was Brittany Hinkle. She left the school Thursday with a sore throat. It hurt her to the point that she didn't want to talk. Kristi Hinkle took her to the clinic, where a medical professional was consulted, on Friday Morning. Kristi was informed that this strain is contagous and to watch herself and the other members of the family, especially the children. Britt was given bed rest for the next day and a half, being healthy enough to go to Sunday School and church. She along her parents, sister and brother missed the Nemec Christmas Party that was held on Saturday night. DARREL HINKLE'S EYES WORK FINE Also seeking a doctor was Darrel Hinkle, Who was in need of an eye exam to comply with the powers that be who yanked his flight certificate. Both Darrel and his eye doctor filled out forms in triplicate. Time will tell if he can get the certificate back now. Darrel's Brother, Jerry Hinkle, Holabird Advocate Publisher, is blaming Janklow for the whole mess because the original forms at the eye doctor's office show that he sees 20/20. It is the sincere hope of all of us at the Holabird Advocate that when Mike Rounds assumes power next month he can find people who know how to read those government forms. NEMECS HAVE A QUIET PARTY Holabird's biggest party was thrown at the home of Ed and Barbara Nemec. The usual ham, baked potato, hot dish, and pies were on the menu with plates of goodies afterward. John Zilverberg brought a pinochle deck so naturally a pinochle game followed. Several of the area's children were absent because of strep, but those in attendance were well behaved. New to the gathering were Mr. and Mrs. Ben Coughlin, who reside on the Ziltner place AKA the old Moss place. They were complemented on the repairs and refurbishments that they have completed this year. Betty Eckstien noticed that she had neighbors a few months ago, when a mailbox with their mame appeared next to her's. They are fine folks and welcome to the area. I'LL TAKE MY COFFEE AFRICAN-AMERICAN, PLEASE by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate By now I''m sure you've all heard about the flap caused by the left leaning pot smokers in the media over a few words said by Senator Trent Lott (R-MS) to 100 year old Strom Thurmond (R-SC). It seemed that some people took offense to Sen. Lott saying that the country would have been better off if Thurmond had been elected President in 1948. Since then Sen. Lott has been called "racist" and "bigot" and other things not printable here. Let's be fair now. He didn't say one word about segregation as the idiot on the TV news claim.He was just giving his friend in the Senate a tribute. Now there is a bipartisan effort to unseat Sen. Lott for "racist comments" that were not racist in any way. If this keeps up the agitators just might make the KKK look good by comparison. The Democrats especially should keep quiet. After all Sen Thurmond was a Democrat when he ran for President. A lot of his supporters were too. Some of those Democrats are still in the Senate as well. This newsblog and I stand by Sen. Lott! Opposing views are welcome and may get published! Tuesday, December 10, 2002 VOL. I Issue 12C HINKLES CONTEMPLATE HAWAII TRIP Harold and Mary Hinkle have a chance to go to our lands 50th state for a couple of weeks in January. This is all courtesy of Larry and Phyllis Ehlers. It also may be possible for Mary and Phyllis's mother Agnes Hahn to join them as well. It seems the only thing holding them back is leaving 100 year old E.E. Hinkle at the mercy of Jerry Hinkle. They are afraid,it seems, that Jerry and E.E. will eat pizza, drink heavily, and chase wild women all the time. They want Harold's sister, Joyce to come over for that 2 week period and force them to eat vegtables and all that jazz. That said, all of us at the Holabird Advocate hope that you the readers will e-mail Mary and Harold at mhhink@sbtc.net and encourage them to go on this trip. Also any and all wild women out there are encouraged to come on up to the Ponderosa if they'd like to watch a 100 year old man eat pizza. LEGAL NOTICE: JUSTIN HINKLE IS NORMAL A child development expert of some sort was called to the home of Darrel and Kristi Hinkle because cetain people were concerned that 1 year old Justin is not progressing as much as he should be. Said expert played with Justin and he talked, and he walked and pretty much proved that he is a typical, thriving, healthy boy who is in no way abnormal. His cousin Cade now, he's Allergic to peanut butter. THAT'S ABNORMAL DARREL HINKLE HAS FLIGHT CERTIFICATE YANKED It appears that because he had the famous Lasix procedure done to his eyes, Darrel Hinkle is no longer a licensed pilot. Steps are now being undertaken to reinstate is credentials. Good thing he hasn't got a plane yet. Saturday, December 07, 2002 VOL. I Issue 12B HINKLES FINALLY WEAN CALVES Our Publisher has been persona non grata around the Holabird Advocate press room lately. The Hinkles weaned cattle this week and has not even had time to send out Christmas cards. It has been going pretty good so far. Now they are waiting for warmer weather on the ponderosa so they can give the calves their winter shots. SHELBY HINKLE TURNS TWO Hard as it may be to fathom, Shelby Hinkle is two years old today. She will be the guest of honor at a party to be held at the Darrel and Kristi Hinkle home on Sunday afternoon. Her grandmother, Ruby Hoffman is reported to be baking a cake for the occasion, but several folks who claim to be in the know will believe it when they see it. NEMECS TO ENTERTAIN DEC. 14 Ed and Barbara Nemec will be holding their annual Christmas party. It will be held Saturday, December 14th at 6:30pm. Barbara has devised some additional fun for all. she has asked all that are willing to do so may bring their favorite Christmas tree ornament and tell that ornaments story. The usual fun, food, socially acceptable stylishness will be presented. SOUTH DAKOTA SONGBOOK This song was written by Gordy Pratt of Deadwood South Dakota. He is also known as, Orville T. Saddlesore and The Original Fabulous One Guy, you know, that One Guy. If you like this one, I'll see if I can find some more. The tune is "Good King Wenceslas" "Old King Whatshisname" Old King Whatshisname got lost crossing South Dakota. He turned left at Pierre and found himself in North Dakota. There he saw the flatest land he thought he ever had seen. He thought he was in Kansas when he spotted Aberdeen. Monday, December 02, 2002 VOL. I Issue 12A GEITZENAUER SELECTED 2002 "PERSON OF THE YEAR" The Editorial staff has selected Susan Marie Hansen Geitzenauer, of Eden Prairie, Minnesota, as it's "Person of the Year" for 2002. "She was the only obvious choice.", declared Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle. "It was because of her that the Holabird Advocate newsblog was started. She gave me the idea of blogging by sending me an article from USA TODAY, After which I thought about it,debating pro and con, checked out Blogger.com, and finally decided to bring my unique talents and abilities as well as my hometown of Holabird, South Dakota to the world." There will be more on Mrs. Geitzenauer later in this edition for the benefit of those that don't know her. PONDEROSA HAS TUMBLEWEED BLIZZARD Strong winds blew tumbleweeds all over the Ponderosa Friday afternoon into the night.huge piles of tumbleweeds were gathered around the houses, barns, and other buildings. It was mentioned that if this had been snow, we would have had a lot of trouble. Besides the tumbleweed mess, there were road signs that had blown over and also dirt was blowing in some places. OUR 2002 "PERSON OF THE YEAR" by Jerry Hinkle, our Publisher If one was to look up the word "Lady" in the dictionary, I believe that there should be a picture of Susan. She is very elegant even when she is lounging around the house in her pajamas on those rare occasions when she is able to. She is also very kind warm and loving. She had the benefit of a Norwegian Luthern upbringing. This taught her the value of family, hard work, and having fun in life. I've known Susan for-well-for a good many years. In fact I can't remember a time when I didn't know her. Many of the best times in my life were brought about, either directly or in directly, because of her. Susan's wedding Greg, her husband of 6 years, was wonderful, I got to go to Forrest City a few days ahead of the rest of her Family and friends to help out. I got to drive a new Caddilac for the first, and so far the only time. It was also because of the wedding that I was able to renew the aquaintance of the only woman I'll ever love, and even though I screwed that up royally, I still look back on that time with fondness. It is needless to say that starting the Holabird Advocate has been just one more wonderful thing in my life. I hope all of you, the readers, approve of our Person of the Year" for 2002 : SUSAN MARIE HANSEN GEITZENAUER. Saturday, November 30, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11S PONDEROSA HAS PILGRIMS APLENTY Leftovers were in short supply after the Thanksgiving get together at the Ponderosa on Thanksgiving Day. In attendance, besides those prevoiusly mentioned, were Ken and Joyce Ferris. After the meal, Jaime and Ashley Pothast begged until they were allowed to practice driving. Ken and Joyce left early to conduct business in Pierre. Joyce came back over for the weekend on Friday afternoon. Darrel and Kristi had good luck with their feast as well. They deep fried a 20lb turkey in about an hour and had Stove Top Stuffing. Kristi's Father, Jan van Tassel left on Friday morning. FORMER HYDE COUNTY RESIDENT DIES Lucinda Zilverberg lost her battle with cancer on Thanksgiving Day. She was just a month past 52 years old. All of us at the Holabird Advocate send our thoughts prayers and best wishes to her family at this time. Funeral arrangements are pending. PLANS MADE FOR ISSUE 12 by Jerry Hinkle Yes, dear Readers, it will soon be time to start Issue 12 of the Holabird Advocate. Our poll will help decide which, if any, Bravenet services we avail ourselves of. We will also reveal our "Person of the Year" for 2002 on December 2nd, by 12 o'clock noon (I hope). I will tell you this much right now. It is a woman, but it is not Stephanie Herseth. If you want to find out more, you'll have to read on Monday afternoon. That's what I have planned. Of course the unplanned things on this newsblog are usually the best, don't you think. I do. Tuesday, November 26, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11R VALLEY TOWNSHIP BOARD TO MEET The Valley Township board will meet in executive session at The Ponderosa tonight at 7pm. As a result, Holabird Advocate Publisher and private citizen, Jerry Hinkle will not be allowed to be present. Mary Hinkle is not on the board, but is serving lunch, so she will be allowed. Mary has said that it is no big deal and that at least the board has refrained from telling dirty jokes and other off color talk since Peg Zilverberg was made Treasurer. COLD SNAP HITS HOLABIRD Single digit temps were reported as the Holabird Metropolitan area braced itself for winter. It is expected to warm up gradually until Friday with a chance for snow showers Saturday and Sunday, just in time for the Snow Queen pagent on December 1st. POETRY CORNER This poem was submitted by Mrs. Lynette Goehring of Yankton, S.D. The author, however, is unknown to her. GIVING THANKS For the hay and the corn and the wheat that is reaped, For the labor well done, and the barns that are heaped, For the sun and the dew and the sweet honeycomb, For the rose and the song and the harvest brought home -- Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving! For the trade and the skill and the wealth in our land, For the cunning and strength of the workingman's hand, For the good that our artists and poets have taught, For the friendship that hope and affection have brought -- Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving! For the homes that with purest affection are blest, For the season of plenty and well-deserved rest, For our country extending from sea unto sea; The land that is known as the "Land of the Free" -- Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving! ~Author Unknown~ Friday, November 22, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11Q NO TRIP FOR WILBUR GOEHRING Because of strained relations between Cuba and the United States, the trip that Wilbur Goehring, formerly of Holabird, was going to be a part of was cancelled. The Holabird Advocate had reported earlier that this trip was taking place, but had no other details at that time. Now there are no other details to report. HAROLD HINKLE GOES DOMESTIC Earlier, it was reported that Harold Hinkle was operating the vaccum around the house. Now, he has started sweeping floors and making his bed. What comes next? Washing dishes perhaps? His wife Mary found out he doesn't do windows, as she has been washing them for the last few days. After getting over the shock of this last chain of events, everyone around the Ponderosa has said that they wish he'd either do it without complaining or just not do it at all. You'd think he was bucking for a medal or something. POETRY CORNER This poem was written around 1915 by E.E. Hinkle as a 7th grade assignment. it was originally published in "Staying Power" a history book compiled by the Hyde County Historical Society. SOUTH DAKOTA I love the name of South Dakota because it's my home State others see it as prarie land and just one of fourty eight from the Sioux and James valley with it's wheat and towering maize to the prairie upland pasture where the hers of cattle graze its a State of atural beauty you just cant wait to see the rest theres the bad lands and black hills all nestled in the west the vacation land of millions with its lakes and winding streams seem to fascinate and hold you and fulfilll your wildest dreams its minerals and it's tall pines indeed they are a part they are a thing of beauty and indear it to your heart South Dakota land of beauty I am proud to be a native son you may be one of fourty eight but to me you are number one Thursday, November 21, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11P BRITTANY HINKLE TO TAKE PART IN PAGENT The Snow Queen Pagent has been a part of South Dakota's herritage for several years. This year Brittany Hinkle of Holabird, and the rest of the girls in the Highmore School's kindergaten class will be part of the exitement as "Little Queens". Brit's mother, Kristi Hinkle, went to Aberdeen to find a suitable dress for the occasion. Highmore's Snow Queen Pagent will be held on December 1st at the Hyde County Memorial Auditorium. HERSETH IS STAYING IN SOUTH DAKOTA Stephanie Herseth says she's staying put. After her Election Day loss to Bill Janklow in the race for U.S. House, Herseth said she planned to stay in South Dakota. She says she's been talking to law firms across the state about job opportunities.Since the election, Herseth spent a week in Mexico and has been in Sioux Falls closing up her campaign office. She has not ruled out another run for office, but does say the timing has to be right.All of us at the Holabird Advocate wish her well. Perhaps Morley Krupt could make her a partner in his firm. THE GREAT AMERICAN SMOKEOUT-MY THOUGHTS by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Today was the Great American Smokeout. All smokers are asked to take this one day out of the year to quit cold turkey (interesting that it's done a week before Thanksgiving, huh). Now I don't smoke, but as long as i'm not breathing the second hand smoke, I really don't get too upset about it if I can avoid it. I do hope that all of the smoking Readers out there did quit for the day. If you did quit for the day, swell. If you tryed, but couldn't quite do it, well there's always next year. If you didn't even bother to quit, shame on you. If you couldn't quit for just one day out of the year, you got a problem. Still, we all love you and hope you'll still love us when I say that. I have become more accepting of smokers in the last few years. As long as they don't blow the smoke right at us, I believe that we, the non-smoker should stand up for the rights of the smoker. As stand up comic Rosane Barr once said "You should be nicer to peole that are dying! ". Seriously though, We live in the land of the free. If we have a "No Smoking Zone", perhaps a "Smoking Zone" is in order. If there is a smoker in your life and he or she is considerate of your rights not to smoke, I hope you'll return the favor be considerate of their right to smoke. One last thing to all you smokers out there. Remember that it was, after all your decision and I don't want you sueing the tobacco companies. You're an adult so take the consequences as they come. 'nuff said. Monday, November 18, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11O THIS YEAR THE HINKLES ARE INDIANS Holabird Publisher, Jerry Hinkle says there are two kinds of people on Thanksgiving. They are: Pilgrims, who go somewhere to eat, and Indians, who eat at home. Usually the Hinkle family are Pilgrims, on that journey "over the river and through the woods" to Agnes Hahn's house. This year, after much arm twisting and hair pulling on Mary Hinkle's part, they are going to be Indians. So far Mary has convinced her son Doug and his family to come over as well as Agnes herself, even though she knows it will be too much work for Mary to do. Mary may have Larry and Bonnie Nickleson talked into it as well. Darrel and Kristi will be Indians as well. They will play host to Jan Van Tassel, Kristi's father, as well as the families of her two brothers Patrick and Jeremy Van Tassel. All of us at the Holabird Advocate don't know how much of a meal there'll be, but we know Shelby Hinkle will be the first one to start doing dishes after the meal. Pretty good for a kid that's not quite 2 tears old yet. DOCTORS SAY WINE HELPS MEMORY A medical report said last week that drinking 3 glasses of wine a day is good helps people remember things more clearly. After hearing that report Mary Hinkle wondered where she hid her bottle of wine. CBS EARLY SHOW HAS "WEEK OF WISHES" by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Because it is owned by my hero Mr. Sumner Redstone CBS is my favorite broacasting network. Even though i have yet to here their response to my "Fat Guy/ Hot Wife idea for a show. The "Early Show" on CBS is doing a "week of wishes" giving 5 people a "wish". It's needless to say I'm not one of 'em. Were it to be so, it would be this.(are you listenin' Mr Redstone, Sir) I wish that those female co-hosts would be removed (by deadly force if neccessary) and replaced by Anna-Nicole Smith. Just think about it Mr. Redstone, Sir, "The Early Show With Harry Smith and Anna Nicole Smith"! Of course, If that doesn't work how about finding a lady with a lot of hair whose name just happens top be Baldy Jones. "The Early Show with Harry Smith and Baldy Jones"! Nice ring to it, don't you think. Oh Mr. Redstone, Sir ! How about: ANNA NICOLE SMITH AS MY HOT WIFE !!!!! Nah, She's already got a TV show. Still there's always Winona Ryder. At any rate, think it over Mr. Redstone, Sir. Saturday, November 16, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11N E.E. HINKLE BOUNCES BACK-AGAIN It must have been just a 24 hour bug that bit 100 year old E.E. Hinkle. He is feeling better but is still a bit weak. Joyce was feeling a little run down this morning, but went on to Tulare without her father as her husband Ken, CEO of Ferris Crane Service, needed her assistance right away. At his usual 3 o'clock "Boost time" he had a bowl of pudding, a donut and half of a "Boost" serving, saving the other half for the evening. ACTORS CHARGED IN PORN INVESTIGATION by Andrew Bridges, Associated Press Writer Actor Paul Reubens, best known as Pee-wee Herman, and actor Jeffrey Jones of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" were charged Friday in a year-old child pornography investigation. Jones, 56, best known as the high school principal in "Ferris Bueller," was charged with hiring a 14-year-old boy to pose for sexually explicit photos and possessing child pornography, authorities said. "The charges do not involve any sex act being performed or any video or film being taken," said Sandi Gibbons, spokeswoman for the district attorney's office. Jones' attorney, Jeffrey Brodey, told the Los Angeles Times that the charges are "all about photos. There's no allegations of any touching or any improper acts with a minor." Brodey did not immediately return a phone call Friday. Reubens was charged with one misdemeanor count of possessing materials depicting children under 18 engaged in sexual conduct, said Ana Garcia, a spokeswoman for the city attorney's office. Reubens' attorney, Blair Berk, said in a statement that the charge was untrue. "Mr. Reubens has never at any time knowingly possessed any artwork from his extensive vintage and antique art collection even remotely related to anything improper," he said. Jones surrendered to police Thursday and was freed on $20,000 bail; he is scheduled to be arraigned next week. If convicted, he faces three years in prison and will have to register as a sex offender for life, Gibbons said. The District Attorney's office determined there was no evidence of a felony in Reubens' case and referred it to the City Attorney's office for possible prosecution as a misdemeanor, she said. Reubens, 50, surrendered to police Friday and was released after posting $20,000 bail. He will be arraigned Dec. 19 and faces a maximum of one year in county jail and a $2,500 fine. In 1991, Reubens pleaded no contest to an indecent exposure charge after being arrested in a Sarasota, Fla., movie theater. After that, his children's show was canceled and his star faded, but he has played supporting roles in the films "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Blow." A widely recognized character actor, Jones played the music-loving Emperor Joseph II in "Amadeus," the mentalist Criswell in "Ed Wood" and the father in "Beetlejuice." Authorities searched the homes of both men Nov. 16, 2001, the district attorney and city attorney said. The statute of limitations on the misdemeanors would have run out Saturday if charges had not been filed. Materials taken from Reubens were unrelated to the Jones case, said Jane Robison, a spokeswoman in the Los Angeles County District Attorney's office. Reubens and Jones are acquaintances and both cases stem from the same investigation, said Sandi Gibbons, a spokeswoman for the District Attorney's office. PETA MAKES A SCENCE AT FASHION SHOW by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate When I started my PETA movement earlier this year, I did it to make fun of the ridiculous PETA group that has pulled off some real whoppers in their time. This latest caper involving the "Victoria's Secret" fashion show was asinine. These morons were protesting the wearing of fur at a fashion show where there were no models wearing fur at all. Of all the protesters there, the one I respected the most was that Miss Behavior, one who protested in a "gown" made of meat. Now this gal was kinda fleshy herself, so we know she's not a vegetarian. She said this was a "Meat Show". I have to disagree with that. From the news footage I saw, those models have precious little meat on their bones. One wonders if she was just a bit jealous of the girls on the runway. After all, you'll notice that she didn't protest the showing of "Victoria's Big Secret" now, did she. Friday, November 15, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11M E.E. HINKLE CATCHES FLU BUG LOTTA GOOD THAT SHOT DID A strain of flu that was not covered by this year's flu shot has E.E. Hinkle in a bad way. His daughter Joyce Ferris came over hoping to take him to the Tulare, south Dakota area to look at the dugout that Ferris Crane Service is working on. The old boy has not been able to keep food down but so far has been able to take green tea and is keeping that down for now. This is not Joyce's first experience with the flu because she was hospitalized because of it earlier this year. It is unknown at this time whether or not Joyce will go to Tulare and whether she will take her father along. All of us at the Holabird Advocate send our best wishes out to him and hope he gets better soon. POETRY CORNER Zoe Maginnis was an interesting lady. She lived at a time when the living was tough. Her firstborn son, John Acel Maginnis was delivered prematurely on April 10, 1910 and lived only 45 days. One can only guess the emotions behind this poem given that it is unknown when it was written. That said please read and understand A MOTHERS PRAYER They buried my baby in the snow, Where the drifts lie cold and deep. But somewhere in heaven, he's waiting I know, For someone to sing him to sleep. Dear father in Heaven, oh please, can't you spare An angel from heavenly skies, To croon to my boy of an old rocking chair, And a mother who sang lullibies. And if he should waken, and cry for his bed, So far, far away in the night. Please ask a wee star, or a moonbeam instead, To comfort my boy with it's light. Please tell him his teddy's as good as can be. (His poor little teddy,) and then, Whisper-I love him-and kiss him for me, Dear Father in Heaven, Amen. Thursday, November 14, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11L HERSETH CLOSES HER CAMPAIGN DOWN HOLABIRD ADVOCATE BEGINS A NEW ONE by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate The election is over and we lost, South Dakota I mean. Ms. Herseth had a great campaign. I new going in it would be tough. And so it was. I can't tell you the profound sadness I felt when I had to publish the news that Janklow was elected. Still, we live in a free soceity despite Bill Janklow's best effort to turn South Dakota into a Nazi police state. In a way, Janklows victory will make it possible for the Holabird Advocate to grow. This newsblog intends to watch Janklow very closely and report on every single thing he's doing that is even the least bit nefarious. One other bit of consolation is that he won't be having the free reign he had here to cause trouble. He may think he's won but he may well think he should have lost by the time we're through. Lastly here is a letter from Ms, Herseth. I think she tells her message better than I can: Dear Friends and Supporters: Thank you for helping to make my campaign for Congress such a wonderful journey. I greatly appreciate your support and encouragement as I traveled across South Dakota, offering new ideas and a fresh perspective on both new and longstanding challenges that we face as a state and as a nation. Your efforts and generosity made our efforts possible, and although Election Night’s results were disappointing, the campaign journey has been an inspiration to me – one that I will carry with me the rest of my life. I am proud of the campaign we ran, and I hope you are as well. I am proud of the positive vision we projected for South Dakota’s future, and of the energy and enthusiasm we added to the process. We demonstrated that you can run a strong campaign while keeping a positive tone focused on issues that matter most to everyday folks. I believe we ran a campaign that truly reflects South Dakota’s values. I look forward to visiting with many of you in the weeks and months ahead – to thank you for embracing this campaign and to engage in a continued dialogue with me on the issues we both care so much about. Again, thanks so much for your kindness, and I hope to see you soon. Sincerely, Stephanie M. Herseth Wednesday, November 13, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11K SENATE ELECTION OVER JOHN THUNE CONCEDES Yesterday in Pierre the state mandated recount gave outgoing Representitive, John Thune, four more votes in the election for U.S. Senator. This was far short of the 528 he needed. A second recount could have been conducted, but Mr. Thune deciced not to pursue the matter, therby conceding the election victort to incumbant Senator Tim Johnson. When asked about future plans challenger Thune had no comment. It is the hope of all of us at the Holabird Advocate that part of his future plans include returning the much talked about overdue library book. All joking aside, we wish Mr. Thune well in his retirement. E.E. HINKLE PASSES PHYSICAL As expected E.E. Hinkle did well with Dr. Douglas. He won't have to see him for another six months. The old boy is still gaining weight, which will come in handy for the cold winter months. The only problem E.E. has right now is that somebody put $700 in his checking account. We should all have that problem. Tuesday, November 12, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11J E.E. HINKLE GETS MEDICINE PREPARES TO SEE DR. DOUG Once again E.E. Hinkle has to go to the doctor and put up with the old poke, prod, and cough to see how he's getting along once more. No trouble is expected although he's been feeling a little stiff and sore here lately. Old age is not for the faint of heart. Harold and Mary Hinkle went to the K-mart pharmacy in Pierre to get his prescription filled. E.E was out and Harold was worried that if E.E. was off his medication too long, bad things would happen. JERRY HINKLE TO GET PUBLISHED IN ARGUS LEADER Last week, quite by accident, Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle wrote a "letter to the editor" to three diferent South Dakota newspapers. He thought that he was writing about his grandfather, E.E. Hinkle, to give these newspapers a story idea. Thus far only the Sioux Falls Argus Leader has told him that the letter was being published. No word yet of when this will happen. The Holabird Advocate will make copies of the letter to all interested parties. Monday, November 11, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11I HOLABIRD ADVOCATE SALUTES AMERICA'S VETERANS by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate I have decided to dedicate todays edition of the newsblog to my Uncle, Donald E. Hinkle, a Marine. Few and proud they say. There are fewer WWII Marines every day. What we call Veterans Day was originaly Armistice Day to observe the "Great Armistice" (peace) after "The War to End All Wars". You may laugh at that, but I don't find it funny that war still exists in the world of today. Not funny at all. Perhaps we can use this occasion to reflect on the great stuggle since peace was declared on the 11th hour of the 11th day od the 11th month of 1918. We in America can all thank the veterans, both living and dead for keeping this country safe from Freedom's foe all these years since. Hitler, Tojo, Mussolini, Sigmon Rhee, Ho Chi Mihn, Saddam, Osama, The names have changed but the situation hasn't. Our Veterans loved America. They fought, and some died, for Lady Liberty, the flag, for you and me. America loves it's veterans, or does it. I hope that all of you that are able to will say a word of thanks to a veteran today. Yes, it may sound corny, but it just might make their day. You owe it to them. Don't you? 'nuff said SOUTH DAKOTA SONGBOOK THE MARINE'S HYMN words by that great composer Anonymous: From the Halls of Montezuma To the shores of Tripoli We fight our country's battles In the air on land and sea. First to fight for right and freedom And to keep our honor clean; We are proud to bear the title Of United States Marines! Our flag's unfurled to every breeze From dawn to setting sun; We have fought in every clime and place Where we could take a gun. In the snow of far-off Northern lands And in sunny tropic scenes; You will find us always on the job -- The United States Marines! Here's health to you and to our Corps Which we are proud to serve; In many a strife we've fought for life And never lost our nerve. If the Army and the Navy Ever look on Heaven's scenes, They will find the streets are guarded By United States Marines ! Saturday, November 09, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11H E.E. HINKLE HAS 3RD GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILD E.E. Hinkle has recieved word that he has a another great-great-grandchild, a girl named Avery Tarynn Kline. She was born November 7, at 4:59pm. Her height: 21 inches long, weight: 7lbs 11oz. Other vital statistics are unavailable at this time. Avery family includes big sister Madison and parents Paul and Dani Kline. Grandparents Kelvin and Donna Kennedy. Great-grandparents George and Mavis Kennedy. Mother and baby are doing well, in fact Dani has said she wants to have another go, just not anytime soon. KENNEDYS ARRIVE IN ARIZONA Becoming great-grandparents hasn't slowed down George and Mavis Kennedy. Thet arrived at their park model home in Green Valley, Arizona at about 11pm local time. They have sent word to Harrold and Mary of their whereabouts. They are expected to stay in that area until sometime in the Christmas season. They avoided the nasty weather that they feared and have no visable snow to contend with SOCIETY: JUSTIN HINKLE HAS BIRTHDAY PARTY No more "Baby Justin" for this kid. Justin Hinkle turned 1 year old yesterday. Today a party was thrown in his honor at the home he shares with his parents, Darrel and Kristi Hinkle and sisters Brittany and Shelby. Helping with hostest duties was Beth Aasby, who brought along her children Digit and Ayden. others in attendance were: great-grandparents E.E. Hinkle and Agnes Hahn, grandparents Ruby Hoffman, Harold and Mary Hinkle, uncles Wilbur Goehring, Jerry and Doug Hinkle, aunt Noel Pothast, cousins Jaimie and Ashley Pothast and Cade Hinkle. It was obseved that the toy industry fared well because of this occasion. Thursday, November 07, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11G KENNEDYS HEADING SOUTH TO BEAT THE BLOWING SNOW At 8 am. this morning George and Mavis Kennedy started out for Arizona, hoping to be there before the snow that is predicted to fall by Sunday night. Last night, Darrel, Kristi, Brittany, Shelby, and Justin Hinkle went up to the Ponderosa to visit them. The kids were quite lively. BRITTANY HINKLE HAS GOOD REPORT CARD Report cards are out for the 1st quarter of the school year. Brittany Hinkle has a lot of Ss and Es on her report card. Her teacher, Mrs. LaMont, has complimented Brit for her example to the other kids. She has been known to write them all letters at one point or another. Her classroom deportment is not lacking in the least. On top of all that she has also developed a thirst for learning. She seems to enjoy school, and school, it appears, enjoys her CRIME AND PUNISHMENT FOR WINONA RYDER By Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate I hope dear Readers that one of you to the very least has the ear of the judge that is hearing the case of Ms Winona Ryder. I believe that Ms. Ryder, being a general menace to the public, needs guidance. Also, because she is so hard up as to make it neccessary for her to steal $6000 worth of merchandise, she needs a job. I'm talking steady, dependable, and possibly well paying work. And for that reason, I believe that perhaps Ms. Ryder should be sentenced to be cast as my television wife in a show I hope to develop under the watchful brilliance of Mr. Sumner Redstone of Viacom. A show tentativly called "The Fat Guy and the Hot Wife". Now, I know that Ms. Ryder is supposed to be a movie star, but let's face it, she hasn't had a hit movie since-er-since-well I'm sure she had one. See, the movies are just not dependable way to make a living. Besides, she has to pay for her crime. I'll make sure she does just that.Originally I was going to suggest that Ms. Ryder be locked up in my bedroom and whatever happens, happens. This idea was frowned upon by my family on the grounds that she hasn't commited murder. Of course, the Viacom deal hasn't come through yet, but I expect to hear any day now from Mr. Redstone. It's also my hope that someone with Mr. Redstone's ear brings this to his attention. He and I both have a chance to help this poor misguided soul make something out of her life. I just need a chance. If she can't be my T.V. wife, perhaps she can be cast as the wacky neighbor. Think about it Your Honor, and get back to me as soon as possible. Wednesday, November 06, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11F JOHNSON WINS SENATE BY NARROW MARGIN As Dan Rather might say "This race was tighter than a botox smile". When every last ballot was counted Senator Tim Johnson was ahead by a cool 528 votes. John Thune, who challenged him for the Senate seat, congratulated Johnson but did not concede. Because of the narrow margin of victory by state law it is mandatory that a recount takes place and will happen soon. The final official vote tally is as follows: U.S. Senate Candidate Percent Votes Tim Johnson (D) 50% 167,477 John Thune (R) 49% 166,949 Kurt Evans (L) 1% 3,064 844 of 844 Precincts Reporting SOCIETY:GEORGE KENNEDY CELEBRATES BIRTHDAY Dining of pumpkin ala mode instead of cake, the Ponderosa had both Mary Hinkle and Mavis Kennedy cooking, each trying to outdo the other. Joyce left before dinner to go home and get some work done. Those who remained had to loosen their respective belts a notch or two. Some around the Ponderosa are hoping that, somewhere, somehow, Mike Soulek is having nearly as much fun on his birthday as they. MILLET HARVEST TO HAPPEN This afternoon Darrel Hinkle has arranged for custom harvestors to combine his millet and put it in the bin. It's been a long time in coming and a bone of contention with his father, Harold, for some time now. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are hoping Darrel does well enough to keep Harold quite, even if just for a little while. VOL. I Issue 11E THUNE AHEAD OF JOHNSON IN SENATE RACE With 99% of precincts reporting, John Thune is ahead of Incumbant Senator Johnson by about 1000 votes. Election Night coverage was as lively as possible, with computer problems here and there. Davidson County, in fact, blew a computer chip and could not count ballots until another chip could be driven in from Omaha, Nebraska. This Race is to close to call, because a possible mandatory recount takes place if the final result is within 690 votes. Nationally, the Republicans have control of the Senate. There are still three undecided elections are in Minnesota, Lousiana, and of course, South Dakota. U.S. SENATE SOUTH DAKOTA 99% Reporting THUNE R 166,193 50% JOHNSON (I) D 165,115 49% EVANS L 3,048 1% JANKLOW WINS AS PROJECTED The 64 year old William J. "Wild Bill" Janklow has won the lone U.S. House seat from challenger Stephanie Herseth, who while doing respectfully well for a Democrat, still lost by a few thousand votes. Janklow himself said "She'll have quite a career in South Dakota politics, just not now!" U.S. HOUSE SOUTH DAKOTA 99% Reporting JANKLOW R 178,977 54% HERSETH D 151,397 45% BEGAY L 3,087 1% DISCUSSION LIVELY AT PONDEROSA After E.E. Hinkle went to bed last night there was quite a debate brewing in his house. It got loud at times, but not enough for him to hear anything. As with most politicical discussions this one decided nothing and was over by bedtime Tuesday, November 05, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11D JANKLOW PROJECTED HOUSE WINNER OVER HERSETH by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate It appears that Stephanie Herseth will be packing grain buckets and openning gates for her dad this winter, as KELOLAND-TV has projected present Govenor Bill Janklow to be Representitive-elect Janklow. If Janklow does win, he will be sworn in on the first Monday of the new year in Washington D.C. What does this mean for South Dakota? The current exodus of the state's young people will continue, perhaps at a faster rate than before. Eventually, I, the courageous, dynamic Publisher, will be the youngest person in South Dakota. That is, of course, unless Ms. Herseth decides to stay. SENATE RACE TO CLOSE TO CALL With about 1/3 of the vote in South Dakota counted, incumbant Tim Johnson has 52%. Nationally the Senate has 14 of 34 open seats, Democrats have 9 with 11 still open. Control of the Senate still hangs in the balance. When the final decision is made you the Reader can count on the Holabird Advocate to bring those results to you. Either late tonight or early this morning. VOL. I Issue 11C HAROLD HINKLE VACUMS LIVING ROOM MARY PASSES OUT FROM THE SHOCK With both of Harold Hinkle's sisters visiting tonight Mary wanted to get the living room cleaned. Harold had other ideas that involved fixing fence. Mary defrosted her father-in-law's freezer last night and stayed overnight at E.E.'s house. When got home the next morning she saw Harold with hewr precious Hooover in his hands. She didn't know just how to take that. When she came to, Mary was asked how he did. She said,"Not bad for a beginner". Monday, November 04, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11B ELECTION EVE BRINGS PREPARATION As Election Day daws ever nearer, the entire nation gears up for another campaign. The ultimate poll will finally be taken. Important decisions are going to be made, for better or worse, at the voting both. Some are eagerly waiting to vote. Some vote while holding their nose. Others won't vote at all. For practice, you the Reader may want to vote in our mini-poll. All of us at the Holabird Advocate hope you vote "yes" and actually do go out and vote. It's a right and a responsibility. If a 100 year old man that can't hear good and walks around bent with a cane can vote, then you have no reason not to. Of Course, all of the Holabird Advocate Readers who have already answered the minipoll have siad they will vote, so no need to worry, right. After you do vote, let's hope and pray that the election clerk is going to let it count, as voter and election fraud is once again in the news. MY BIG FAT LATIN APOLOGY TO SUMNER REDSTONE by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa to you, Mr. Sumner Redstone. I am very humbled in the light of your genius. I have often said that I publish this newsblog with half my brain tied behind my back. My harsh words to you prove that I'm sure. But, Mr Redstone, if i had your brain I could do this newsblog with 90% of my brain tied behind my back. After Hearing that you canned that stinker "Bram and Alice", I knew things were heading in the right direction. Yes, Mr Redstone, you do indeed know what you are doing. I'm sorry I ever doubted you. By the way Mr Redstone, I noticed that on you Monday night comedy lineup you have quite a few shows with grossly overweight fellows married to really hot chicks. Now I am not grossly overweight anymore, Mr. Redstone, but I can get that way if you can arrange a show for me with Khrystyne Haje from that show "Head of the Class" (she played Simone). I have seen a recent picture of her and can pretty much guarantee she's hot. As for my weight, like I said give me a while. Oh yeah, I can also be crude and obnoxious, just like the guys on your Monday night comedy lineup. It'll be a hit, Mr. Redstone, all this show needs is a title. I'll be waiting to hear from you Mr. Redstone, sir. Take your time. Think it over. Friday, November 01, 2002 VOL. I Issue 11A AS HOLABIRD ADVOCATE STARTS ELEVENTH ISSUE SOME WILL THINGS CHANGE SOME THINGS WON'T All of us at the Holabird Advocate are thrilled about the next issue. Our courageous, dynamic Publisher, Jerry Hinkle is still seeking perfection in this newsblog. He's keeping it fresh and trying to "keep it real". To that end he will be adding more features. "Poetry corner" will feature various poems by E.E. Hinkle, Zoe Maginnis, and will welcome submissions from Readers as well. The new mini-poll asks the question "Will you vote on Election Day?" This will run until Election Day, and then We'll run a poll to see how you, the Reader, rate the Holabird Advocate newsblog. We will also be starting a new feature called "South Dakota Songbook" which will feature songs and song parodies that are sure to liven up any gathering of friends and family. Of course one thing that will stay the same is the sagatious opinions and wisdom that you've come to expect from our Publisher. Even those who disagree with him enjoy reading about what he thinks. On December 1 the Holabird Advocate "Person of the Year" will be Revealed. Readers may submit their choices, but it's been said that this year's winner of that title may have already been selected. Any Readers will have to be pretty compeling to get our Publisher to change his mind. STEPHANIE HERSETH OUTLINES ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT PLANS TO HELP KEEP YOUNG PEOPLE IN SOUTH DAKOTA Stephanie Herseth has outlined her plans to help keep young people in South Dakota by creating economic opportunities and financial incentives for the next generation of South Dakotans to live, work and thrive here at home. With population loss in 73% of its counties, South Dakota is suffering high out-migration in its rural areas, making it more difficult for young people to find jobs and take root in the state. Herseth said: "I believe that in addition to urban renewal, Congress should focus legislation on rural renewal, to preserve the quality of life we enjoy in rural America. The federal government can play an important role in creating incentives for young people to stay in our cities and towns of all sizes. We can do this by providing low-interest loans to help new families get started; forgiving student loans for doctors and teachers and other professionals willing to serve in rural areas; and targeting investments and economic development in rural America." Herseth highlighted several initiatives, including some proposed in the New Homestead Act, to help keep our young people here at home: " Forgiveness of college loans for recent graduates who live and work in rural areas for 5 years. " Tax incentives for investment in value-added agriculture, allowing producers to diversify operations. " Tax credits for home purchases in rural areas. " Home value protection, allowing losses in value to homes in rural areas to be deducted from federal income taxes. " Rural investment tax credits to encourage investment in rural areas. " Increased telecom infrastructure. " Accelerated depreciation for businesses' equipment purchases. " More accessible and affordable child care for young families. Herseth continued, "One of the main reasons I'm running for Congress is because I want to help create economic opportunities and incentives for our young people to stay in South Dakota. In Congress, I would support legislation, like the New Homestead Act, that does just that, as I work to preserve the quality of life we hold dear in South Dakota and throughout rural America." THE IGNORANT ARE WINNING-SO FAR by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate I'm broad minded as most things go, but I just can't believe this "dance craze" that is supposedly sweeping the nation. Have you heard of "The Ketchup Dance"? Well, if not believe me, ya'll ain't missin' much. How can this be called a dance when everything but the feet are moving? Oh sure, the group of young ladies that started this are putting on quite a fine show in more ways than one. But does anybody who comes to a barn dance in Holabird want to see ol' Widow Dallor or Bertha Krupt shaking there grove thing like that? I don't think so. I saw it on "The Early Show" this morning. That should've been my first clue thatthe dance was lame. This latest attempt by CBS has really stunk up the television airwaves. If not for the very bald Hairy-er-Harry Smith this would be another "View". (which really would suck). This is the biggest mistake CBS has made since they canceled "Captain Kangaroo" to expand the morning news from one hour to two hours. I really wonder where the Tiffany Network's head is at. To think Sumner Redstone has let CBS do some of the stupid things they've done lately. Mr. Redstone, please, please, in the name of all that's decent get rid of the morons you have running CBS and get someone at least 10% as smart as you are yourself. A man that can turn a chain of drive-in theaters into a billion dollar media empire can surely get rid of the crap foisted on us by your underlings. Don't make me shut of my TV Mr. Redstone. I may not turn it on again. Thursday, October 31, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10L W TOUCHES DOWN IN HUB CITY At 9:15 this morning Air Force 1 landed at Aberdeen Regional Airport. Air Force 1 is a 757 instead of the usual 777 that has brought W to South Dakota before. This is the first time a sitting President has visited the Hub City since FDR visited in 1936. While in Aberdeen W touched on all the same issues that he has been right along. Those being homeland security, Social Security, forest management, and he talked a little about farming without any talk of actual drought relief money. This was a campaign stop, so he talked about getting John thune elected to the Senate, Bill Janklow elected to the House, and Mike Rounds elected Govenor. One minor slip of the tonuge had W thanking Mayor Hooper of Aberdeen (the man's name is Hopper) but all in all he was well recieved. Exitement was rare this time as only half to two-thirds of the crowd cheered at times. W took off from the airport at around 10:30am to continue his campaign stops. He has a big agenda today, as he is also going to Indiana and West Virginia today. Aberdeen is called "The Hub City" because back inthe old railroad days it was a railroad "hub", or center of activity. FDR came to Aberdeen by rail because there was no such thing as Air Force 1 back then. In fact there was no presidential airplane until 1947. W may be in Sioux Falls on Sunday. If he is we will not be covering it because the press room is closed on Sunday and Holabird Advocate publisher Jerry Hinkle has said "Nobody, not even the Presdident can get me to open the press room. I didn't do it for my Grandad, and I sure won't do it for W." DRACULA LURES FANS TO TRANSYLVANIA FOR HALLOWEEN By Dina Kyriakidou of Reuters Die-hard Dracula fans are flocking to the Carpathian Mountains to visit the count's old haunts, watch a medieval witch trial and attend the Miss Transylvania pageant for this year's Halloween. They come to the remote Romanian countryside lured by both the blood-thirsty vampire of Hollywood movies and the historic prince whose notorious cruelty toward Turkish prisoners inspired the novel "Dracula." "They are welcome to come but they must know that they might not survive the experience," said Nicolae Paduraru, president of the Transylvanian Society of Dracula, which organizes some of the expeditions.Banned by the communist dictators, Dracula was translated in Romanian as late as 1992, and the small Balkan country only recently has started to capitalize on one of its most-recognizable names. "There is a fascination with the unusual," said Howard Cohen from London, who is on his fourth tour of Dracula land. "What you have is the added mystique because the whole concept of Dracula was banned for so long here." The two dozen, mostly American and British visitors on the Transylvanian Society of Dracula's weeklong tour, will have a chance to join the society and even become knights of Count Dracula Order -- for a small fee. They will then attend the pageant, where 13 Transylvanian maidens will compete for the honor of becoming "Countess Dracula." After coronation, the winner descends a staircase only to return white-faced and with bite marks on her neck. "It's a nice fairy tale. I wanted to do something different," said Tony Whiting from Tamworth, Britain, who was planning to take the six chivalry tests, including arm-wrestling, archery and riddle-solving, to win a knighthood. The real 15th century Prince Vlad "the Impaler" Tepes, who defended his country from hordes of invading Ottomans, has little to do with Stoker's Dracula, whose legend is set around 1890. But Romania, which emerged from decades of communism almost 13 years ago, is quickly filling in the blanks. Like Castle Dracula, the Golden Crown hotel in Bistritsa, where Stoker's innocent London lawyer Jonathan Harker spends the night, is a concrete communist hotel complex. "People are creating the history to match the myth," Paduraru said. Bran Castle, a medieval fortress 156 miles from the count's traditional feeding grounds, often is called Dracula's Castle because it resembles the typical horror film backdrop but is not part of Stoker's novel and Vlad never set foot there. The Prince was born in 1431 in the medieval town of Sighisoara, where the society holds a Halloween witch trial every year. Although vampires are not part of Romania's folklore, witches were tortured and burned as late as 1753. Paduraru's tours are filled with such historical and cultural facts, but he denies he uses Dracula almost as a pretext for getting tourists to know his long-isolated country. "I am only a humble servant of the Count," he said. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Scary things are afoot in the world. Whether it is Dracula or politicians, we have every right to be scared this Holloween. We have a President that will campaign for his friends in his own party, but he won't give the drought stricken farmers their due. The current farm bill promised $6 billion more than it delivered. He didn't address that at all. W is more concerned with getting a Republican Congress than fixing what is wrong with this country. Just call him "Dracula with a Texas Accent". W can come to South Dakota every day until Election Day, but if he doesn't bring money for the farmers in the form of a drought relief proclamation, I predict that John Thune will not be among the ranks of the Republican Senators next year. One last thing for you, the Readers to thiunk about. This trip was paid for by the Thune for Sanate campaign, but if Janklow and Rounds had any conscience ( a mighty big "if") they would kick in a little to this trip, as they got just as much benefit from W's trip as Thune did. Wednesday, October 30, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10K JANKLOW PULLS AHEAD IN POLL KELOLAND-TV has just completed another round of polling their U.S. House Race Poll Results are as follows: There's a new leader in the U.S. House race. After trailing earlier this fall, the latest KELOLAND News Election poll shows Republican Governor Bill Janklow ahead of Democrat Stephanie Herseth.Last week they asked 600 registered voters if the election were held right then, would they vote for Bill Janklow or Stephanie Herseth? Their answers were different from what we've heard so far. 47% of the registered voters polled said they'd vote for Janklow, 42 % would vote for Herseth and 8% haven't made up their minds . Jim Hagen, Janklow Campaign Spokesman, says, "We're very excited about the poll results. I think it's a reflection of how hard the governor has been working in the last couple months." Stephanie Herseth says, "One would always like to be a little up instead of a little down in the polls but we've seen so many numbers and so many polls and what counts is neither of us has reached 50 yet." Jim Meader, KELOLAND Political Analyst, says, "I wouldn't put too much into the fact that maybe she's peaked. I guess I'd turn it around and say Bill Janklow as we've gotten closer to the election has become more of a candidate." Meader says Janklow's focused on his experience, and started to take the race more seriously than he did early on. Herseth does quite well with younger voters, while Janklow is stronger with older ones. Because older people tend to vote more, that gives him an advantage. But Meader says if Herseth can get voters 35 years old and younger to the polls, it could be even closer. Holabird Advocate Publisher Jerry Hinkle, a supporter of Herseth's is still optomistic of her chance to pull it off. "The voting is just 6 days away," he says, "and in a very close race like this those 8% could make up their minds in her favor by then. It should be noted that the "other" in this race recieved 3%. "Other" could only mean Terry Begay, the Libertarian candidate. both Janklow and Herseth may wish they had his support before the election is over. Election officials are preparing for a recount, should it become neccessary. The last time that happened was 1978 in the race for District 1 House race (South Dakota had 2 districts then). It was Tom Daschle's first election victory. He won by 14 votes (that's right only fourteen votes) W SCHEDULES TWO MORE S.D. VISITS South Dakota has had 3 visits from W since he became President almost 2 years ago. W will be coming to Aberdeeen, South Dakota tomorrow and with just 6 days left in the campaign plans on one more visit to the state before election day. Any newsworthy events will be reported in the Holabird Advocate tomorrow. HOLABIRD GETS 3 INCHES OF SNOW The weather is the second scariest thing in South Dakota right now (second only to politics). It appears that the little Trick or Treaters will be in need of winter gear as three inches of snow has fallen on us here in Holabird. Word is that Darrel Hinkle is going out as Spongebob Squarepants. All of us at the Holabird Advocate hope he has warm underwear beneath his costume. Tonight we are expecting single digit temps. Better get out the parka's, Ma ! Better find the shovel Pa ! It's gonna be a long cold winter ! Saturday, October 26, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10J BLOGGER.COM DOWN FOR REPAIRS For some reason Blogger.com was offline for a good deal of the week repairing something too technical for me to explain. (we don't know the nature of the problem anyway, and they aren't telling us a thing). We are back and hopefully you missed us. We are hopeful that the publishing delays we have experienced will be a thing of the past. There's quite a bit to tell and we shall get to it. SNOW ON THE PONDEROSA The first snow of the 2002 autumn season fell on Tuesday morning. This delayed the millet harvest which has yet to occur. Warmer weather has melted the snow, but another snow has been predicted for Sunday afternoon and evening. CAROL ZILVERBERG HAS FESTIVE 80TH BIRTHDAY Jerry and E.E. Hinkle went to Highmore to attend the open House for Carol Zilverberg's 80th Birthday at the Hyde County Senior Center. It was also an occasion to cellebrate the 52nd birthday of her Daughter Lucinda. Mrs Zilverberg was a neighbor of the Hinkles for many years, and Lucinda was first educated in the one-room schoolhouse at Valley Township. The festive occasion was the recipient of a visit from Representitive John Thune, who is running for the U.S. Senate. Mr Thune was thrilled to be introduced to E.E. Hinkle by Carol's husband Dave. Cake and Punch was served in generous portions as well as M&M candies and nuts, which are favorites of Mrs. Zilverberg. HOLABIRD ADVOCATE INVESTIGATION TURNS UP NOTHING After much muss and fuss all of us at the Holabird Advocate were not able to pin down a point of view of EMILY's List on the abortion issue. We have elected to stop looking for dirt where none can be found and keep supporting Stephanie Herseth as we have done in the past and will when she is elected and beyond. As far as we can tell it's sure that Ms. Herseth and her canidacy will not harm South Dakota, In fact we are more certain that ever she will help South Dakota. SNIPER CAUGHT ! WE ARE SAFE FOR NOW ! AREN'T WE ? by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate This past week, we as Americans, breathed a heavy sigh of relief when we found out that the "D.C. Sniper" was caught. Then, Guess what, It was a mistake. It was only two illegal aliens. Then again it looked as though the long national nightmare was truly over. As far as this "Sniper" is concerned, it is over. What about the next one? Will we let our guard down enough for the next wave of shootings to start up. You know the media will just eat that up. They are already being deluged with people wanting to talk about this one. People who barely knew the man are lining up to say whatever the media want to hear. I am hoping this is not going to be like the kidnappers I talked about earlier this year. People, if you could call them that, looking for their "15 minutes of fame", deciding to kill at random so they can hear about it on the Evening News. It could happen. You know I have two nieces that Watch "Dora the Explorer". That show has a fox in it. You parents out there know where I'm going with this one. The fox called Swiper who swipes unless he's simply told "SWIPER NO SWIPING!!". If only that worked in the real world. Still we have to have faith that somewhere out there someone can yell "SNIPER NO SNIPING!!" and it will happen. That's what I learned this week. I hope you, the Reader learned somthing too. Monday, October 21, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10I EMILY'S LIST FEATURE'S HERSETH AD Because of recent reports of EMILY's list and it's views the Holabird Advocate has done some investigating. Thus far we have found that EMILY stands for Early Money Is Like Yeast (it helps the dough rise). They seem to favor pro choice women in the Democratic party. We have yet to read what this group has to say about the partial birth abortion procedure, we are still looking. Herseth for Congress has paid for and authorized the following statement that is on the EMILY's List web site emilyslist.org. We at the Holabird Advocate are running it without payment, or for that matter, authorization. This ad has been in place since August : Dynamic young leader. Stephanie Herseth swept through a four-way Democratic primary; in November, she can recapture the House seat left open by Republican Rep. John Thune's run for the Senate. She is a distinguished lawyer who has taught at Georgetown University. Coming from a farm family, Stephanie Herseth understands the needs of South Dakota's rural economy. Old war-horse in a young leader's race. Republicans have nominated the current term-limited governor, Bill Janklow, who has run rough-shod over South Dakota politics for sixteen years. South Dakotans like to elect dynamic young leaders - Tom Daschle was just 30 when he won this same House seat - and Stephanie Herseth fits the bill. One newspaper observed: "Basically, the governor is running against Katie Couric's little sister who also happens to be a member of Mensa." Building a stand-out campaign. Stephanie Herseth has the political savvy and the personal appeal to bring this seat back to the Democratic side. But the national Republican Party longs to embarrass Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle by sweeping the House and Senate seats in his home state this year. So Bill Janklow will be backed by massive Republican resources. NCQ MONITOR CHANGES RATING The Herseth campaign's recent momentum and other considerations has caused the NCQ Monitor to change their rating of the U.S. House race from "Leans Republican" to "No Clear Favorite". As they put it "Herseth shows Heft against Janklow". The race was rated "Strongly Republican" before the Herseth campaign got started. ANNE HANSEN TURNS THE BIG 2-3 On Sunday several friends, family members and a couple total strangers celebrated Anne Hansen's 23rd birthday with a dinner of turkey, pork, hash brown potatoes and a birthday cake that she was forced to share with cousin, Tracy Lennick, whose birthday is the 23rd. Anne wasn't the center of attention as much of the talk was about the pheasant hunt, skunk attacks, the D.C. sniper, and the impending war with Iraq. Anne is working on a book about her travels in South Dakota. It could be interesting when it is finished. She has said that even though she has been to a lot of places across the country and around the world, she likes South Dakota best. HUNTERS MOVE ON TO WYOMING Drs. George and Scott Wilson DDS of Forrest city, IA have had enough South Dakota pheasant hunting. They are moving on to the Jackson Hole Wyoming area for elk hunting. They did leave their dogs for anyone who has use of them. Better make it quick though as Georges wife Liz will be taking them back home sometime around tomorrow morning Saturday, October 19, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10H PHEASANT HUNTING: FOR THE BIRDS by Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Advocate Today at noon the pheasant hunting season started in South Dakota. The Chinese Ringed-Neck pheasant is the South Dakota state bird. However I understand that it is found in other states as well. The hunters that we have around here start on my brother Darrel's layout. After they get tired of looking around there they make their way up to the Ponderosa ending up at the Nickleson place north of Highmore for a chili feed and some story telling. The drought has effected pheasant numbers, but there are still some out there to be found, provided there is someone looking for them. For the first time since the annual pheasant hunt got started a number of years back, Mary Hinkle has not gone to the Faulkton Craft show as an exibitor. she is going as a shopper this year, along with her mother, sisters, friends and a couple of grandkids. She has made sandwiches and cookies for all the hunters that pass this way. HERSETH-JANKLOW DEBATE ISSUES Last night was the second of three televised debates for U.S. House candidates Stephanie Herseth and Bill Janklow. Most of the questions were answered with nothing in the way of contraversy. Two issues that didn't go away quietly were the abortion issue and prescription drugs. Herseth was asked to explain her stance on partial birth abortion in light of her recieving money from a group called Emily's List. Ms. Herseth welcomed the question and answered that she was not in favor of the partial birth abortion procedure unless the health of the mother was at risk and would vote for a ban on the procedure. Emily's List, she claims, is against the procedure as well. There will be an article explaining Emily's List as soon as we at the Holabird Advocate find out something about it. Prescription drugs for senior was another hot button issue. Herseth seems to be in favor of re-importing American presciption drugs from Canada, whereas Janklow seems not to be in favor of such plans. STEPHANIE HERSETH HAS AN "A" RATING WITH THE NRA The following is a satement written by the Democratic party for the support of Stephanie Herseth, who is being endorsed by the Holabird Advocate and its Publisher: On the Herseth family farm next to the Sand Lake Wildlife Refuge, hunting is a family tradition, just as it is for thousands of South Dakota families. Stephanie Herseth learned to shoot when she was a child and spent time with her dad in the goose pits just south of the farm. Stephanie learned at an early age that the Second Amendment contains one of our most important rights as Americans-our right to bare arms. She brings this strong conviction to her work today to protect our rights. Wednesday, October 16, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10G FIRST FROST ON THE PONDEROSA Looks like it's time to get the blankets and long underwear down from the attic. The outside temp got down to 24 degrees. Snow was even falling in several scattered locations in Hyde county this afternoon. The snow did not accumulate, however, and melted with the warmer weather as the day wore on. MARY HINKLE GOES BACK TO SCHOOL It's been said "you're never too old to learn". Trying to prove that is Mary Hinkle, who is taking a computer class at Capital University Center's night school in Pierre. Her class meets Wednesday nights at 7pm. She was a little late in getting started, but seemed to catch up. She has been closemouthed as to what, if anything, she has learned through this class. VOTER FRAUD IN SOUTH DAKOTA It has made the national news that 3 and possibly 6 or more South Dakota counties have been recieving fruadulent requests for absentee ballots for the upcoming Nov. 5th election. Onbe such request sent 2 weeks after the voter had died.(Well, she won't be able to come to the polls on Election Day, and for a very good reason). One county had recieved 3 separate requests from the same voter. There was 238 requests filed for people that didn't even exist in Pennington County. The South Dakota Democratic party has been blamed for this but nothing has been proved. It seems that the party paid a recruiter $3 each for names. This is being investigated at the federal level. South Dakota isn't alone in this. In Minnesota's Dakota County several request for absentee ballots were sent to the County Auditor's office to be sent to the address of a local strip club. (It's assumed that no voters live there) No nefarious activity was reported in Hyde County as of yet. If that changes you can count on the Holabird Advocate to report it first. Monday, October 14, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10F TRACTOR ON FIRE NEXT TO PONDEROSA The Hyde County Fire Department was called to a fire next to the Ponderosa at around 9:30 this morning. The exact cause of the fire is not being released pending an investigation by the Hyde County Sheriff's office. Quick thinking on the part of Harold Hinkle could have saved a good part of the prarie in both Hyde County. Harold used 5 gallons of water to very carefully put the fire out. MAKE AND BAKE A SUCCESS The Methodist Make and Bake did wey well for the UMW Saturday. They sold out of kuchen and sour cream raisin pie. Several booth operators reported that despite the state of the economy they did quite well. Jerry Hinkle operated a booth for his Market America UnFranchise which only reported $9.95 in taxable sales. Perhaps if he'd stayed away from the Tastefully Simple booth, sampling the beer bread with spinich dip, he'd have done better. HINKLES ARE ALL HOME Justin Hinkle was able to go home last night after his mother Kristi called to say they were home. His youngest sister Shelby was in Pierre with her Grandma Ruby Hoffman but was returned as well. Brittany was glad to be back home from all of the adventures she had in Georgia. Thursday, October 10, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10E DASHCLE GIVES W SUPPORT South Dakota Senator Tom Dashcle says that he will vote to give W the power to do what he needs in the Iraq situation. He has done this to "give America one voice". Senators, in a "practice vote" (practice makes perfect I guess) supported the president 75-25. Exactly what W will do with this newfound power is a mystery. All of us at the Holabird Advocate are down on our knees praying that whatever happens is best not only for America, but for the rest of the free world as well. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Shortly after getting home from Alaska I heard that Kristi Hinkle's Grandfather died. On behalf of all of us at the Holabird Advocate to the whole Van Tassel family we give our most heartfelt condolences. My trip to Alaska was a waste of time. what I saw of it pretty much sucked. As for Darrel, Kristi, and Britt, they made St. Louis, Mo. at 6pm last night, and are safe in Augusta as of 8am this morning. Harold Hinkle reported that they will be there awhile. I'll have more details as the become neccessary. REPUBLICANS DRAW FIRST BLOOD THEN RUSH TO STOP THE BLEEDING by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate It's a first in South Dakota politics. The Republican Central Commitee ran an ad that ran 4 times before both The Herseth camp and The Comittee asked that it be pulled. This ad stated the false accusation that Stephanie Herseth didn't register to vote until 2001. While Ms. Herseth did register to vote that year, she had previously registered to vote in 1989 at age 18. She had registered in Maryland, where she was going to University, to vote in 2000 in the presidential election. She had to, it appears, re-register to vote in South Dakota last year. This ad could have been a despairate tactic, as it seems that the latest poll has Herseth over Janklow with 45% compared to Janklow's 41%. Terry Begay doubled his previous 1% to 2% so good news for him (hope we helped you there Mr. Begay). The rest, some 13% are undecided. This poll was taken last week and has a margin of error of 5% either way. One thing is for sure, Ms. Herseth is no underdog. It is needlkess to say that I and this newsblog had seen something of a winner in her, and that is why we have endorsed her. At press time 80% of the Readers felt that way to, according to the Reader poll. Wednesday, October 09, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10D KRISTI HINKLE RECIEVES WORD OF DEATH Yesterday afternoon Kristi Hinkle was told of the death of her grandfather, Fred Van Tassel of Augusta, GA. Funeral arangements are pending. The only thing we know for sure is that his body was donated to the Medical Science Department of his local University. Kristi, and her husband Darrel left for Georgia at 4am this morning taking their daughter Brittany along so she can see the ocean again. Originally they were going to take Shelby and Justin along, but Harold moaned, groaned, howled, and growled until they left them both behind just to keep in quiet. Harold and Mary will be watching Justin while Ruby Hoffman will be watching Shelby. HAROLD HINKLE TO BABYSIT SOLO Because Mary and Jerry Hinkle will be working at the Methodist Make and Bake Sale this weekend Harold will be working solo taking care of both Justin and his father E.E. Hinkle on Friday evening and most of Saturday. During this time it is hoped somebody will remind him that he asked for it. HINKLES GET FLU SHOTS Because E.E. Hinkle is a "high risk" for the flu and Harold and Mary are his "caregivers" they were all eligible for a free flu shot. Jerry Hinkle opted to sit it out because he trusts OPC-3 to keep him safe from the flu. Saturday, October 05, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10C KINDERGARTEN GOES "DOWN UNDER" In her last act as Kindergarten VIP, Brittany Hinkle had her grandmother Mary Hinkle show the members of her class the highlights of her trip. Mary showed them koalas, kangaroos, and kookaburas. She came to class dressed as ol' Dundee too (or as close as she could come to it). She even got the kids to try vegamite on a Ritz cracker. Believe it or not, freinds and neighbors, she even had a couple of kids that asked for seconds on that unit. They and everyone else got a choco chip cookie for being such good sports. WHAT'S A VEGETARIAN TO DO by Jerry Hinkle,Special to the Holabird Advocate Geneticly modified organisms (GMO) are hardly new to the food and agriculture scene. Vegetarians, and some Jews were not happy when Taco Bell resturants were using GMO tomatoes that had pork genes in them a few years back. Now bio-technology (BT) corn has been found to have the pork gene in it as well. Now, I am not a Vegetarian, or a Jew and I've never claimed to be. But, as a right thinking American, I believe that if you are a veggie you have a certain right to food free of animal genetic material. If you are of the Jewish persuasion you have the right to a kosher taco. Looks like those of you that shop for tomatoes, corn, and whatever else is out there may have to ask "Are the vegetables pork free today?". When I was a young naive country boy in a one-room rural school my teacher told me that all our food came from a farm. "Even Twinkies?", I asked. I was skeptical at first, but I believed. Now I'm not too sure about that. Now, I think it all comes from a lab somewhere could it be that the corn we grow here on the Ponderosa belong not in a corn crib, but a hog house? Kind of makes you wonder doesn't it? Friday, October 04, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10B BRITTANY HINKLE ENDS TURN AS VIP All good things come to an end, and so it goes with this week in which Holabird's own Brittany Hinkle was Kindergarten VIP. She has really been milking it, as most of us would, for all it's worth. All this week, pictures of her and her family were displayed, along with some of her favorite things. Brit was able to have a guest in school for lunch for one day. She chose her great-aunt, Bonnie Nickleson, to be that guest. She was also able to have her grandmother Mary Hinkle to come into the school to talk about her trip to Austrailia. It was originally planned to have her grandpa Harold Hinkle too but he stayed behind to guide antelop hunters on the Ponderosa. It has indeed been a gala week for Brittany Hinkle. Next week it's back to just plain Brittany Hinkle. HERSETH MAKES THE "WALL STREET JOURNAL" "Wall Steet Journal" columnist Al Hunt wrote an article about the campaign for South Dakota's U.S. House seat. He calls Stephanie Herseth "Aguably the best first-time candidate in America". He also states that South Dakota is where the action is for Camaign 2002. "The polictical heartbeat of America is sparsly populated South Dakota. It feature one of the only several dozen hotly competitive House Races pitting the four time Govenor Bill Janklow against 31 year-old Stephanie Herseth" "The legendary Bill Janklow may have more than met his match. Ms. Herseth, Whose grandfather was one of state's four Democratic govenors, is remarkebly articulate and energetic, a natural.' Stephanie is now greeted like a rock star,' observes David Kranz, the respected veteran political reporter of the 'Argus Leader' . The Herseth Janklow contest has been civil". Ms Herseth has called her campaign "an extended job interview" according to Donna Smith of the "Black Hills Pioneer". She has raised the issue of Medicare reimbersments and the declining farm population throughout the state. Herseth would also like to see small business groups get insurance at rates similar to larger groups. The Holabird Advocate and its Publisher has formally endorse Ms. Herseth for this election. Wednesday, October 02, 2002 VOL. I Issue 10A BRITTANY HINKLE ASSUMES DUTIES Being a VIP is not easy under the best of circumstances. When you're only 5 it can really be daunting. But Brittany Hinkle despite being sick on Monday returned to school on Tuesday to perform as the Kindergarten VIP as flawlessly as possible. The Kindergaren VIP had to lead the other class members to the lunch line and in and out of the classroom at recess time for the 5 days of the school week. She was understandably tired when she got home. COWS GET IN THE WAY OF PONDEROSA EXPERIMENT After doing so well with his experiment with millet, Darrel's work was slightly interfered with when the cows got past the electric fence and began to run around in the millet field. It still looks like millet will be the best cash crop to be had for him this year. The cattle were extracated from the millet field by Harold and Jerry Hinkle. The amount of damage done will be unknown until it is harvested on a future date. MARKET AMERICA GOES PRIVATE by Buster Brock At the annual stockholders meeting of Market America Inc. President and C.E.O. J.R. Ridenger and his wife Loren, Exectutive V.P. made an offer of $8/share to the corporate stock holders. the offer was excepted, making Market America a privately held corporation. Local Market America Distributor and Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle said of this turn of events "Market America is going to operate the same way at the local level delivering quality market-driven products to all of its customers. I'm really exicted about some of the new products coming out too! ". When asked to expand on thatwith more detail, Hinkle declined. "That will have to be discussed at a later date. I can't really say anything untilI I get the 'All clear' from the head office." MARY HINKLE MAKES MEMORIAL DAY PLANS It has been suggested to Mary Hinkle by different members of her family that they need to get together for Memorial Day like they used to. She has taken this to heart and looked for information regarding Camp Lakodia near the Lake Herman area in South Dakota, Were her family used to gather. Turns out that it may be booked already. The people operating the camp, South Dakota Institute for the Deaf, will get back to her on that at their earliest convenience. She has also looked for a KOA campground that may satisfy her families desires. It could make for an interesting article for Holabird Advocate travel writer, Hiram Gonagan, who has been in Alaska to see the famous midnight sun. Monday, September 30, 2002 VOL. I Issue 9Q BRITTANY HINKLE NAMED KINDERGARTEN VIP Every week in the Hyde County School in Highmore a VIP is selected in the kindergarten class for the week. This week it's Brittany Hinkle's turn. The VIP gets to have special guests on Friday. It was decided by Her to have her grandparents Harrold and Mary Hinkle to be her special guests to talk about their trip to Austrailia and show pictures and other things from their trip. The first day she was to be the kindergarten VIP, she got sick. It is also picture day. All of Brit's family and friends feel so bad about it, but it can't be helped. All of us at the Holabird Advocate hope she gets well quick. CORRECTION AND APOLOGIES by Jerry Hinkle, the Publisher Firstly let me say that the Libertarian candidate for South Dakota's lone U.S. House seat is Terry Begay, not Larry Anything. We were close but that only counts in horseshoes and buffalo chip flips. On behalf of the Newsblog I apoligize for infering that Mr. Begay's views were ignorant. I'm also apologizing to the Native American community of which Mr. Begay is a member, and whose issues he is championing in this campaign. Mr. Begay, I hope you and your issues are covered as much as possible. That said, I don't think you've done a great job so far after the election I will do as much as you'll allow me to help get your message across. To the Readers, I say I hope you don't think any less of me, or the Newsblog. Our intention was to demonstrate the futility of Mr. Begay's campaign, and his lack of a following. We went too far and that is my fault and mine alone. I still believe that Stephanie Herseth is the best man for the job, (just kidding, Ms. Herseth) and will support her campaign all the way to Nov. 5th. Lastly I thank you, the Reader for you patience with the Blogger publishing delays. They may be irksome but then better late than never, right. Let me assure you that Blogger is working on it. Soon it will be on track. PLANS FOR ISSUE 10 by the Publisher It's hard for me to believe that our little Newsblog is going to be 10 months old tomorrow. Next months poll question,effective at noon tomorrow, will be "If you were able to vote in the South Dakota U.S House race, Who would you vote for ?". It is our hope that you will vote in the poll even if you are not a resident of South Dakota. We would like to see if we are communicating Ms. Herseth's message properly and to see if we made the right chioce. Don't feel that you have to vote for her as we'll give you the option not to vote at all. I have also decided to do away with Buster Brock's "Let's go to the videotape due to expenses. I may find something for Buster to do. I will also add "All the news we see fit to print" in our banner. Those are the only changes I have in mind right now. You can always count on the Holabird Advocate to bring you the same kind of information and sagatious opinions that we've always provided. Even when things go bad we will all get through them together. 
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