Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!
Monday, November 18, 2002
VOL. I Issue 11O
THIS YEAR THE HINKLES ARE INDIANS
Holabird Publisher, Jerry Hinkle says there are two kinds of people on Thanksgiving. They are: Pilgrims, who go somewhere to eat, and Indians, who eat at home. Usually the Hinkle family are Pilgrims, on that journey "over the river and through the woods" to Agnes Hahn's house. This year, after much arm twisting and hair pulling on Mary Hinkle's part, they are going to be Indians. So far Mary has convinced her son Doug and his family to come over as well as Agnes herself, even though she knows it will be too much work for Mary to do. Mary may have Larry and Bonnie Nickleson talked into it as well.
Darrel and Kristi will be Indians as well. They will play host to Jan Van Tassel, Kristi's father, as well as the families of her two brothers Patrick and Jeremy Van Tassel. All of us at the Holabird Advocate don't know how much of a meal there'll be, but we know Shelby Hinkle will be the first one to start doing dishes after the meal. Pretty good for a kid that's not quite 2 tears old yet.
DOCTORS SAY WINE HELPS MEMORY
A medical report said last week that drinking 3 glasses of wine a day is good helps people remember things more clearly. After hearing that report Mary Hinkle wondered where she hid her bottle of wine.
CBS EARLY SHOW HAS "WEEK OF WISHES"
by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate
Because it is owned by my hero Mr. Sumner Redstone CBS is my favorite broacasting network. Even though i have yet to here their response to my "Fat Guy/ Hot Wife idea for a show. The "Early Show" on CBS is doing a "week of wishes" giving 5 people a "wish". It's needless to say I'm not one of 'em. Were it to be so, it would be this.(are you listenin' Mr Redstone, Sir) I wish that those female co-hosts would be removed (by deadly force if neccessary) and replaced by Anna-Nicole Smith. Just think about it Mr. Redstone, Sir, "The Early Show With Harry Smith and Anna Nicole Smith"! Of course, If that doesn't work how about finding a lady with a lot of hair whose name just happens top be Baldy Jones. "The Early Show with Harry Smith and Baldy Jones"! Nice ring to it, don't you think.
Oh Mr. Redstone, Sir ! How about: ANNA NICOLE SMITH AS MY HOT WIFE !!!!! Nah, She's already got a TV show. Still there's always Winona Ryder. At any rate, think it over Mr. Redstone, Sir.
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