The Goehring Family Christmas Eve gathering at the Come Hahn Inn on the edge of Highmore was festive, or at least as festive as it could get. There were no Christmas carols and no Christmas story, but at least there was also no fights. There was plenty of food of course. Agnes Hahn presided as always and made sure of that. Agnes threw some of her family members for a loop when she announced that this would be her last year of hosting Christmas Eve for her family, as it has become too much work. And so, it would appear that at 90 years of age, that Agnes is going into retirement. She said that the Come Hahn Inn will always be available for holiday gatherings, but it's time for someone else to do the work.

It is at this time that all of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish to commend Agnes Hahn for over 40 years of Christmas Eves and Christmas dinners. Few people have kept Christmas so well for so long. It is our hope that when next Christmas Eve rolls around, and someone else is in her kitchen, Agnes is kicking back in the living room with a glass of wine wondering what is taking so long. We have a suspicion that Agnes may be called on as a consultant, but we hope that she will be able to let her family take care of her as well as she took care of them for all that time. There is a saying that goes, "Step off the stage gracefully and let the sprightlier age take to the spotlight before they come up and throw you off". It's interesting that in this case the sprightlier age is in their 50s and 60s. This is quite an opportunity for Agnes. She will get to see what she has taught her daughters and daughters in law. As long as they remember to do everything with love, the details will take care of themselves.

Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, made quite an exit from the Family gathering on Christmas Day. After leaving the Come Hahn Inn, he remembered that he had his mother's quilt in his back seat and tried to turn around to come back and got stuck in a snowbank in front of the Lutheran Church. Harold Hinkle and Wilbur Goehring Junior got him out and on the way back to Mitchell.

Jerry must be a glutton for punishment, because he came back to the Ponderosa yesterday. Today the well went dry, and the Hinkles have to haul water to the house like they live in a third world country or something. He's wishing he had made a reservation at the Come Hahn Inn. All of us at the Holabird Advocate hope Agnes gets some free dish washing out of it if he ever does. Failing that, she should get another box of chocolate covered cherries.

As we go through puberty and reach adulthood, we are faced with many temptations. But when we hit midlife, they change. Here are a few temptations that are particularly intoxicating to the middle-aged man:
Sofas;
Slippers;
Dogs or people who don't speak;
Escalators;
Medicine cabinets;
Nothing to do.

Dedicated to all you parents who remember what "Some assembly required" really mean!

Those who thought that Barrack Obama would bring about Bill Clinton's third term will be disappointed to find out that, in least in one respect, it's not happening.

This photo of Joan Hansen, or Forrest City, Iowa, with Barrack Obama was taken during the Iowa Caucus. e can't see the face too good, but Jo says it's him, so until it can be proven otherwise, we'll believe her.
This is not a bimbo eruption, of course. Joan Hansen has too many morals, and too much sense to be lumped in with your average presidential groupie. We don't know what they are talking about, but if she is lobbying for the position of Librarian General, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope she gets due consideration. Jerry Hinkle was hoping to be nominated as Secretary of Sexy, but we have discovered that the cabinet position does not exist. That is just as well, since he doesn't know shorthand.

One of the reasons for our hiatus is that Jerry Hinkle is a staff writer and Student Senator for the Phreno Cosmian, Dakota Wesleyan's Student Newspaper. As with most publications of high standing, this one has a web presence. If you would like to see all, or even some of the articles that Jerry has knocked out for the Phreno during the fall term, check out the site at: http://www.dwu.edu/english/student.htm#phreno

Phreno Cosmian is Greek for "Mind of the World", or so the story goes.

Children have been rebelling against their parents since the beginning of time. In order to establish their own identity in the family, they feel they have to indulge in behaviors and attitudes that are not enjoyed by their parents. So if you have teen-agers that you care about, I recommend that you have your entire back tattooed, get some jewelry riveted to your face, wear your pants around the knees and never use a sentence that doesn't feature the f-word. Sure it may upset the other executives who work at your office, but you'll be forcing your kids to choose normalcy as their declaration of independence.

During our involuntary hiatus Barrack Obama was elected President of the United States. Time Magazine thinks that is all it takes to be a person of the year. We disagree! Our person of the year had a difficult election cycle. He even had our own courageous, dynamic Publisher doubting his ability to do the job he has been elected to do. Then came an appearance in Java City at DWU. He appeared slow and sluggish, but was greeted with a standing ovation by a rather enthusiastic crowd of people. He spoke slowly, choosing words deliberately, and even employing a certain amount of self deprecation humor towards himself and the political stereotype. His best quote, "A politician who doesn't say much. I should win by a landslide for that reason alone". Reelection was not a sure thing, but he defied all logic, and the odds, to come out ahead on Election Day. Our Person of the Year has shown us all what being courageous and dynamic, while keeping his humility, is all about. The Holabird Advocate Person of the Year for 2008 is SENATOR TIM JOHNSON!

Life and Time of Dorothy Zilverberg (1921 - 2008)
Dorothy Zilverberg, 87, of Highmore, passed away Tuesday, December 2, 2008 at the Highmore Healthcare Center.
Mass of Christian Burial was held at 10:30 a.m., Saturday, December 6, 2008 at St. Mary's Catholic Church, Highmore with Father Kevin Zilverberg officiating. Burial was in St. Mary's Cemetery, Highmore, directed by Luze Funeral Home of Highmore. Visitation was held 5:00 to 7:00 p.m., Friday, December 5, 2008 with a 7:00 p.m. wake service at the church. Dorothy Catherine Boehmer was born February 23, 1921 in Hughes County to August and Elizabeth (Schmidt) Boehmer. After graduating from high school in Harrold, SD she went on to Notre Dame Junior College in Mitchell, SD where she earned a teaching certificate. During her teaching career, she taught at Grey Goose, Canning, and south of Harrold. She then met John Zilverberg and they married February 17, 1945 in Highmore during military leave while John was in the Marines. Military service took them to Klamath Falls, Oregon where she continued to teach 6th grade. The couple was transferred to San Francisco until the war ended October, 1945.
After the war, John and Dorothy moved to their ranch north of Holabird where they started a family of four children. Dorothy was a faithful, loving partner and wife for 63 years. She loved her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, and would do anything for them. She also loved birds, flowers, traveling and being an active volunteer. Her volunteer activities included holding state office with SD Extension Homemakers and serving on the state and county boards. She held local offices in Cattle women, Catholic Daughters, Altar Society, Historical Society and belonged to the Retired Teachers Organization. In 1976 she represented Hyde County as Mother of the Year in the state competition. In 2003 she was honored to be inducted into the South Dakota 4-H Hall of Fame for 20 years of service as a 4-H leader. In 1989 John and Dorothy retired from the ranch and moved to Highmore.
Dorothy is survived by her husband, John Zilverberg, two daughters and two sons, Marcia (Mike) Wiedebush of Aberdeen, Donald (Peg) Zilverberg of Holabird, Karen (Ray) Geditz of Ipswich, and Gary (April) Zilverberg of Holabird, 12 grandchildren, 3 great grandchildren, and a sister, Marcella Auch.
She was preceded in death by her parents, twin brothers who died at birth, a brother Vincent Bollweg, and a sister Evelyn Reding.

All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are dreadfully sorry that we are so late in our expression of heartfelt sympathy at the passing of this great lady. She will be sorely missed and fondly remembered by all. Dorothy is free from all of her trouble and pain. We should all be that blessed!

Last week, I was at a 25th wedding anniversary for an average normal couple, if there is such a thing. He's a schoolteacher, she's a sales clerk. These are two careers where you don't take business trips. That means that at the end of every day, you both go home. You have to respect that. This is a marriage with no time off. Compare that to the scenario where the man and the woman are both senior executives in a large corporation. They travel all the time. In 25 years of marriage, they're really only together about four years. We need to differentiate between these types of marriages. It's not how many years you're married, it's how many days and, more importantly nights, you've spent together. Now obviously we don't want to discount the accomplishment of a 25-year marriage, regardless of the reduced years of active service, but I think you have the right to calibrate your gift based on the degree of difficulty. The traveling business couple should get flowers and a card, the stay-at-home working couple deserves something better. I suggest a gift of separate holidays for each of them or a large bottle of an expensive beverage with a significant alcohol content.

Many people have difficulty making decisions. They find they have too many choices in life and aren't able to compare one to the other, because they can't foresee all of the outcomes at once, or they're deathly afraid of making a mistake, or even worse, they don't even care enough to think about the decision. Well, what you need to do is to force other people to make the decision for you. The simplest way to do that is by making outrageous demands. There is no quicker way to find out how much a person, or a company, cares for you than to ask them to do things they don't want to do. If you have a $50,000-a-year job and another company is trying to lure you away from it, tell them you want $300,000 a year plus a $100,000 signing bonus. It may seem a little over the top, but at this point in your career you have nothing to lose. Those kinds of demands send a message to the new company that you have a lot of confidence and feel you are worth a lot of money. They don't need to know the truth -- the truth that every company you've ever worked for thought a lot more of you at hiring time than they did once you started working there. You have to take advantage of that. You're like the bride at a Baptist wedding -- you hold all the cards. If the new company says "no," you're no worse off than you were. If the new company says "yes," you're in great shape. And most importantly, the decision was made for you. Give it a try. If it works well for you, who knows, maybe you could become a professional athlete.

The Ditty Bops will be back on A Prairie Home Companion November 7 & 8th.
November 7, 20087:30 p.m. CTA live performance from The Fitzgerald Theater10 E. Exchange St.St. Paul, MN Ticket prices: $21.($2.00 discount for Minnesota Public Radio members.)
November 8, 20084:45 p.m. CTA live broadcast performance from The Fitzgerald Theater10 E. Exchange St.St. Paul, MN Ticket prices: $48, $38, $32.($2.00 discount for Minnesota Public Radio members.)
This show will be broadcast live 5:00-7:00 p.m. CT online and on national radio. Go to www.prairiehome.org for details.
Tickets available through The Fitzgerald Theater ticket office, either by phone for MPR members, or in person. Ticket office hours are noon–5:00pm Tuesdays–Fridays. Tickets also available through Ticketmaster Arts Line, by phone at 612-673-0404, Ticketmaster outlets, and online at www.ticketmaster.com.

Wives tend to be extra sensitive about germs and bacteria and any unseen microorganisms that can hurt their family members. If a perfectly good T-bone steak gets a little paint on it, or a handful of mashed potatoes drops onto a gravel driveway, they quickly scoop them up and throw them into the trash. Men are much more resilient. If food is relatively chewable and more or less in the same range of color it started out in, they'll eat it. And they'll eat it quickly, before their wives confiscate it. Many wives are food police. Many husbands are repeat offenders. And the biggest law that separates the two sides is the "Best Before" date. How many tons of perfectly good food have been thrown out by a food cop just because it reached an arbitrary date, stuck on there by some marketing genius who realizes that once it expires, you'll need to buy more. Whenever you see a man in the middle of the night, sitting alone in a chair with the fridge door open eating everything in sight, you know that tomorrow is "Best Before" day.

Robin Williams plays this pretty straight. Just in time for Election Day

Jerry has taken in a couple of the University soccer games, as well as joining the staff of the Phreno, The DWU newspaper. He will be covering the Theatre Department, as well as serving as the papers Student Senator (Did, I say, Did I hear somebody say "Senator").

Jerry is taking on quite a load, but he has a history of coming out on or at least near the top. Will the Lord be with him this term? Most assuredly! But sooner or later, Jerry may have to let something slide.

Since we were last together a number of deaths occurred. Jerry Reed died earlier this week as did the "In a World..." movie trailer guy. Last week, two Hyde County men, Bob McKelvey and Ralph Myers passed from the scene. Death comes to all in its own time, ready or not. Bob and Ralph may not have the same world acclaim as the other two, but their passing will leave a void in the lives of family, friends, and neighbors. Jesus can fill the void! Lean on Him!

When you watch TV or look through magazines, it's amazing to me how many of the ads target teenagers. Or, at least it was amazing, until I found out that teens spend $154 billion a year. Teenagers are a dream come true for any advertiser. They have money in their pocket and almost nothing important to spend it on. Most of them have food and shelter and access to the family phone, so all of the basic needs are covered. And, they haven't been jaded by 30 years of buying things that bent, broke, blew up or shut down.
Now, OK, maybe teenagers don't make a lot of money per capita, but whatever income they have is disposable. So, they have no problem spending it on tattoos or body piercing rather than on heat and groceries. But, before you parents go off on a huge rant about how the advertisers are taking unfair advantage of our naive offspring, let's step back for a minute and realize where most of that $154 billion comes from -- allowances from you. I know you didn't mean for it to go this way. Giving your kids an allowance is you investing in the future. Well, I have seen the future, and it has a safety pin through one eyelid and wears its pants around its knees. I should probably criticize the teen spending patterns more often, but I was up in the attic the other day and came across my Capricorn medallion and platform disco boots.

It is not known where Granny Clampett saw this display, but we have it on good authority that everyone in Mitchell is fully dressed for for the Fall Season!

One Week ago tonight the man to your left took the lady to your far left to be is lawfully wedded wife. Many of Andrew and Jennifer's friends and family came to see them as they made their own vows. There was laughter and tears, but more importantly, there was love. The easy part is over for them. After all, getting married is easy, for some it's easier than others. The Hard part is staying married. Of course, you need to have love, but it takes more than that. It takes faith and hope as well. Andy and Jen asked God to bless their union by their actions on Friday last. One part of the ceremony that struck a cord with Andy's Godfather, Jerry Hinkle is that there were 3 "I do" responses. Andy said it, Jen said it, and the congregation said it. That was an interesting way to show Andy and Jen that they are not alone in this. It also shows the witnesses that Andy and Jen are truly one flesh and that God wants them to support Andy and Jen in any way possible. With most people, they just show up to a wedding, and drop off a gift. This time the guests made a lifetime commitment of support. That means more than any wedding gift ever could.

Naturally all of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish the happy couple well, and will continue to do so until death parts either them or us.

"Went to a party Mom"

I went to a party,

And remembered what you said.

You told me

not to drink, Mom,

so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,

The way you said I would,

that I didn't drink and drive,

though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,

And your advice to me was right.

The party finally ended,

and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,

Sure to get home in one piece.

I never knew what was coming, Mom, something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,

And I hear the policeman say,

the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,

Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,

As I try hard not to cry.

I can hear the paramedic say,

this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,

While he was flying high.

Because he chose to drink and drive,

now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom

Knowing that it ruins lives?

And now the pain is cutting me,

like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom

Tell daddy to be brave.

And when I go to heaven,

put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,

That it's wrong to drink and drive.

Maybe if his parents had,

I'd still be alive

My breath is getting shorter,

Mom I'm getting really scared

These are my final moments,

and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,

As I lie here and die.

I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'

So I love you and good-bye.

Today's edition of our little Newsblog was a little more serious in tone than usual, but now we'll have some fun. This is a video that my niece, Kaitlin Pothast, showed me and it has had me hooked on YouTube ever since. My other nieces and nephews like it too! I hope ya'll do as well!

Jerry noticed that several Hyde County folks came down for the event, such as Tim Zilverberg, Jerry Dittman, Carl, Mike and Les Ashdown, Jim and Larry Kerr, Dan and Scott Pekarek, and Deb Rinehart. There may have been others, but they avoided our Publisher's eyes.

Jerry was glad to have run into Deb, as she was giving out free samples of a worm free Spicy Cuban meat rub. If you use any imported substance in or on your meat, Jerry believes that this would be the one to use. Jerry also tried some free soy ice cream, which wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, ditto on the free tofu fudge brownie cookie. Harold rather generously sprang for chocolate milkshakes. Jerry took advantage of the free ice water as much as possible, even though it wasn't as good as Wall Drug's. At least it was wet, Bub! Wells Fargo, the official bank of the Hinkle Empire, gave up a bag of microwave popcorn. He also availed himself of a "Share Meal". The Farm Bureau sponsored a meal consisting of one's choice of a burger or brat, a bag of chips, and a drink. the actual cost was $1.65, or so we're told. The Farmers share, which was what those who bought tickets were charged: 19 %, or a total of 50 cents. Someone asked if that included tax. That caused Jerry to think about the farmers who have to pay taxes with their 19% share on top of all the other expenses. Farmers still pay taxes don't they? Just asking that question makes us wonder if we've been in the Big City too long!

Of course, Jerry did more than eat and drink. There was plenty of machinery and pre fab houses to look at, Morton Buildings, etc. He really enjoyed talking to the guys at the Fellowship of Christian Farmers International. Jerry knows that more than just about any profession, the farmer is very beholding to his (or her) creator, whether they know it or not.

The next day, Jerry tried to kill himself. As most of those who are close to him know, Jerry has a a fear of flying. To be more specific, a fear of crashing to the ground in a fireball of death. When Jerry was in the Black Hills, he saw a sign for helicopter tours, but couldn't take one, because there was too much rain. When he saw that Dakota Fest had Helicopter rides, he thought of taking the chance, even though it was the cost of nearly 6 hours of dish washing. It was a little scary at first, because he had nothing to hold on to. And whenever the helicopter leaned to one side or the other, he was nervous. In that 20 minutes, Jerry saw the Corn Palace, DWU, Pizza Hut, and all the rest of Mitchell, all in miniature. The two things he did not see were his lunch and a reason to be fearful. That sounds like a success to all of us here at the Holabird Advocate. Does this mean he's gonna fly to Europe on Virgin Atlantic soon? NO! But he knows that even with a good stiff South Dakota breeze, he has nothing to fear as long as he stays in God's hands.

There's a movie out now about the secret codes that the military uses to prevent the enemy from intercepting their messages. This is not an unusual concept. Husbands and wives have been communicating in code since the beginning of time. When an attractive woman moves in next door, your wife will say "Have you seen our new neighbor?" but she really means "I've seen our new neighbor, and I'll be watching you like a hawk." When your wife says "Does this dress look all right to wear to the party?" she's really saying, "I'd like you to start paying attention to me now, in the hopes that the pattern will carry over to the party so that our friends will see that although their marriages have become stale and repetitive, ours is still fresh and vibrant." And although you're thinking, "Wear any dress you want. You don't need me to tell you what to wear. And vice versa," what you say is, "Yeah, it's great. What should I wear?" And after you've been at the party for a couple of hours and your wife says, "I think we should go home now," you're thinking, "This is looking good," but what she really means is, "I think we should go home now." And when you get home and she says, "It's time for bed," what she really means is "Goodnight"!

All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are quite concerned that the young lady photographed here, one Anastasia Elisabeth Nemec Has not been blogging since her 21st birthday last spring. Now, our Publisher was 21 once, and he remembers what he did when he turned 21, and he is quite certain she didn't do that, because he was watching the Democratic National Convention on CBS. Whatever she's doing, she needs to stop doing. In fact, we'd like her to work part time at the Hinkle Empire. We'll give her 500,000 shares of Holabird Advocate stock, and the title of Chief Executive Ambassador of the Northern Hemisphere (Queen of England is already taken). This offer will be null and void if she has appeared in any videos with "Gone Wild" in the title!

Later on today, Jerry Hinkle will be loading up the Thrustmobile and getting up to see the home folks. He'll be getting ready for his cousin's Andy's wedding on Friday, then back home Sunday for another date with the dishes

OK, Let's get one thing straight from the get-go. Dolly Parton, Burt Reynolds, and Dom Delouise. Like me, they did not even audition. Those who did, in fact, show up to audition put on a great show. The singing was almost always pitch perfect, the choreography was excellent, and the acting superb. Some of the material presented was not suitable for children, and in some cases, not suitable for my 90 year old Grandmother. My aunt Joan would have used 3 bottles of Ivory liquid on the Sheriff alone. Yet the show was about a house of ill repute, and I'm quite sure the audience knew that. As it happens, Dolly Parton herself referred to the movie as "The Best Little Chickenhouse in Texas"

The show was above average as far as the technical aspects went. A few microphones went out at the wrong time. The "Watchdog" scene, where the house lights were of and flashlights were on gave the impression that there was either smoke of a cloud of dust on shade. I'd like to know how they did that! However, there were either too many ladies at the Chicken Ranch, or not enough character development. We only really only got to know Ms. Mona, Jewel, Angel, and Shy. The rest of the ladies were little more than decoration.

Of all of the characters in the show, my favorite has got to be the villain of the piece, one Melvin P. Thorpe. As portrayed Paul Zeller, Thorpe is a twisted amalgam of Porter Wagner, Jimmy Swaggart, any sleazy talk show host you care to name, and a dash of JR Ewing. His goal is, just fresh from making some candy company beg for mercy, looking to shut down the Chicken Ranch to feed his own publicity machine just because he can. It is hinted that he avails the services of an even more unsavory establishment of ill repute in the city, but that does not dissuade him. He exposes the Chicken Ranch on his "Watchdog" show and goes all the way to the Governor of Texas himself to get the job done, and not to give too much away, but he does shut the place down! At the bows, Zeller was booed. Yeah, He reached his goal! This roll was sort of a comeback for Paul Zeller. On behalf of the theatre-going public, I say

WELCOME BACK!

The highlight of the show for me was Cheri Hamilton's solo as Doatsey Mae. She put her heart and soul into that song, and it showed. Hamilton told me tater that in real life, she had worked as a waitress. hopefully she made better coffee than Doatsey Mae. Lacey Laurendeau's solo, "Twenty-Four Hour's of Lovin'" would be a close second. It's a powerful song and different than what she usually sings at First United Methodist Church whenever she pays us a visit from her studies at USF. Her Musical Education background has served her well. To give the guy's credit, the "Aggie Song" number was wonderfully executed. Not only did the fellas put their heart and soul into the routine, but their bodies as well. It looked like quite a workout.

Bottom line, this show gets thumbs up from me. The company of players took the issues of prostitution and hypocrisy, made fun of them, then got serious about them, and made their audience think between laughs. One member of the audience was heard to say, "There should be more Sheriffs like that!" In my research for this review, I discovered a Sequel where Ms. Mona manages a Las Vegas brothel for the IRS. If there's a part for Melvin P. Thorpe, I'd work as an usher AND pay to see it!

On a personal note, I've become acquainted with quite a few members of the cast of this play, seeing them in other shows, and working with a couple of them in other projects, and I must say that Al Jacklin gave the best performance I've ever seen as the Sheriff. The sight of him holding a pistol still makes me nervous. When he gave the admonition to turn off our cell phones in character, I did just that! He was just that convincing

Jerry Hinkle has been notified that he has to finalize with DWU for the Fall Term between the hours of 8am-5pm on August 21. Finalization simply means that all relevant information is updated, and all tuition and other fees get paid. In Jerry's case, writing thank you notes to all those who put up the scholarship money that enabled him to sleep a little easier at night. Why the University wants to subject these people to Jerry's handwriting is a mystery, but he plays along. Why not? It's easier than coming up with the dough himself. Jerry would have to wash a whole lot more dishes to come up with it, that's for sure!

Mary Hinkle

THE OLD COWBOY

A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM SOUTH TEXAS COUNSELED HIS GRANDSON THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HIS OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDSON DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN HE DIED. HE LEFT BEHIND:

14 CHILDREN,

30 GRANDCHILDREN,

45 GREAT -GRAND-CHILDREN,

25 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN,

AND A 15 FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE.

What could possibly go wrong?

Here's another YouTube Video! Enjoy this Haka demonstration!

I think it's a good idea to surround yourself with things that are the same age as you are. Not just friends and loved ones, but houses and cars and almost anything really. You may think you're in rough shape, but not compared to that baby carriage that was bought on the day you were born. Or the TV. Or the lawnmower. If you want to feel better about yourself, go to an old guy's yard sale, and pick up a few banged up rusty items that are the same age as you. You'll look so good beside them. But stay away from anything that's been restored. Things your age that look good will only give your wife dangerous ideas.

It must be time for the Sturgis Rally, because half of the vehicles on the streets of Mitchell are motorcycles. Even in the downtown area the unmistakable thunder of a Harley engine can be heard at all hours. In the evening, these bikers gotta sleep and eat. They find a motel, and those with good taste order Pizza Hut Delivery. It's been reported that bikers are good tippers, but nobody tips the dishwasher.

Of course there is a certain element that like to cause trouble, so there's always got to be one guy sleeping outside with the bikes. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope it's not the same guy every time. Ya'll take turns, now! Welcome to Mitchell!

Mary Hinkle found out that faith alone will not make a Hinkle reunion. Doug Hinkle is on call for Pierre's Bravest, and Darrel Hinkle is trying to get a crop out of the ground among other things.
In the event Jerry Hinkle is able to get away, he will most likely go to the non-reunion, now known as "Andy's wedding" There won't be very many Hinkle's there, but quite a few relatives of another variety will be there. Not many, but a few. We will be withholding certain details about the wedding, since it is an "invitation only" deal, and if you weren't among those who were invited to this deal, HARD CHEESE!

Some time ago, I had joined in on the chorus of those who are wondering if Senator Tim Johnson was going to debate his opponent at Dakota Fest, or anywhere else for that matter, and if he should do the same. Of course, every problem has a solution, and over the weekend, I came up with one. It's not a perfect solution, but it's better than none at all.

I remembered back in 1980, when Jim Abnor was either unwilling or unable to debate George McGovern. A fellow Republican came forward, debated McGovern, and some may say that he won the election for Abnor. Now, Getting Bill Janklow to debate on behalf of Senator Johnson would be a real stretch. Besides, his heart wouldn't be in it. We need a Democratic Bill Janklow. we need a lawyer, who is well versed in the policy of his party, and if possible, the candidate. Someone with the passion to see that both sides of an issue get heard. But Mostly, we need someone who is both willing and able to speak on behalf of Senator Tim Johnson. At first I thought of Tom Daschle, but then, he's too much of a "D.C. Resident". Besides that, he was supposedly too busy to debate Ron Schmidt back in 1998.

Then I thought, what about Todd Epp? Mr. Epp is a lawyer, a Democrat, he may have to be briefed on Johnson's voting record, but I understand that's a common occurrence when the debater is speaking on his or her own behalf anyway. He can and does speak well. If I needed a lawyer and could afford him, he'd be it!

You know, I'd better start reading his blog again. In case he's a Dykstra supporter. In any case, keep praying for both Johnson and Dykstra. Also pray for wisdom on Election Day. Hopefully Florida won't try to vote for Mickey Mouse, and Oho won't vote in Charlie Brown!

Jerry is also going to do something a little different. Since taking Intro to Theatre, Jerry has learned how to write a proper review. Jerry plans on showcasing what he has learned from that class in general an Professor Dan Miller in particular on the Front Page of the Holabird Advocate. There will be some differences, however, in that the review. It will not be double spaced, in the MLA format, or 2 pages long (because it's not double spaced). Jerry will do his best to make Dan proud of him, or at least not ashamed. Some time ago, Dan told Jerry that he read the Holabird Advocate and was very complimentary. We'll see if he still reads it when the review is in.

Last Saturday, a lovely young lady from Mississippi was looking for volunteers for Senator Tim Johnson. Well, I took the bait! I'm a sucker for a pretty girl's smile, a southern accent, and good manners. This gal has all three in spades!

Now I'm starting to wonder if I did wrong. I heard a radio statement made by our senior Senator, and I'm not sure he's up to the job. Senator Johnson's health has not in the pink since his little episode in December of 2006. I'm not the only one who seems concerned either. Both Doug Lund and Bernie Hunhoff have brought up the subject online. The latest flap seems to be over the Dakota Fest debate in Mitchell. Some are wondering if Johnson should debate or not. If he does debate, and performs badly, the rest of the voters might get the same uneasy feelings I have. If he doesn't the rest of the voters will know he isn't up to the job. Fact is, debate is part of a Senator's job in Washington. He might be good for a filibuster, but I'm not sure he will be able to speak up for South Dakota as well as he should. Now this is coming from a lifelong Democrat AND a campaign volunteer! Imagine what the Republicans are thinking!

Of course, it's to late to do something about the situation now. He's the Democratic candidate, and if anyone doesn't like it, HARD CHEESE! We're going to have to pray that one way or the other, that the voters of South Dakota make the right decision on November 4 and take what we get. One thing I know for sure, is that if Johnson can overlook the fact that one of the people working on his behalf is from Mississippi, I can overlook the fact that he speaks a little slower than what society calls normal. In the interest of equal time, I'll be praying for both Johnson and Joel Dykstra. Like the voters, they have hard decisions to make. I pray we all make the right choice for November and in November and beyond!

They say to err is human, but to really foul things up takes a computer. And yet, we've let them take over our lives. Once microchips got a foothold in our homes, there was nothing to stop them taking control of our cars, our workplace, even our power tools. Computers just kept making things smarter, safer and more efficient despite our best efforts. Then groups of them started linking up to form the World Wide Web, and it was all over. It's turned an entire generation into Cyber Zombies. When I was young, it was "Tune in, turn on, drop out." Now it's "Boot up, log on, zone out." Over the last few decades, computers have slowly but surely taken over every aspect of human life, and there are those of us who have resisted them every step of the way from punch cards to PCs. I salute the effort but I'm here to tell you the battle is over -- we lost. Badly. The Palm Pilots have landed. Lay down your arms and get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome like everyone else. The enemy's at the gates. The enemy may even be named Gates.

I want to thank all of those who sent cards, letters, some even sent cash. Just so you know, I bought a tank of 10% ethanol with it. There is still time to contribute to the "Whiskey Creek Steakhouse Research Fund" You may wish to consult with Mary Hinkle, or your own accountant, to see if it's tax deductible. Also thanks to the person who sent the Ditty Bops Calendar! a little late for New years, but I can catch up!

Sorry that I've not been writing more. It's just that not much has happened here there or anywhere lately that I consider newsworthy.

the heat in Mitchell on Sunday afternoon was so bad that Jerry Hinkle decided it was time to install the air conditioner that has been in the trunk of the Thrustmobile since June into the parlor window of McGovern Hall. Trouble was that it did wouldn't stay in the window, even after using a whole roll of duct tape (Darn you, Red Green ! That stuff is supposed to be sticky !).

The Surf Ballroom has gained national recognition from the showplace of rock ’n’ roll history.The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland is partnering with the Surf to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Winter Dance Party in 2009.Plus, the Hall of Fame will dedicate the Surf as a rock ’n’ roll landmark, “which identifies locations around the country that have historical significance relative to the origins and development of rock and roll,” according to a letter to the Surf from Terry Stewart, president and CEO of the Rock Hall.“This adds an incredible amount of momentum to our local event,” said Jeff Nicholas, president of the non-profit North Iowa Cultural Center and Museum Inc., which operates the Surf.The Winter Dance Party will be Jan. 28 through Feb. 2. Some entertainment has been booked, including Bobby Vee and Buddy Holly’s original band, the Crickets. But Nicholas said that process will become more significant with the affiliation with the Hall of Fame, which has “such a good relationship with its inductees.”Nicholas said Surf officials had heard from some performers that the Hall of Fame was planning its own observance of the 50th anniversary of the Winter Dance Party, “so we invited them to come here.”Three representatives visited in April, Nicholas said.“Once they saw the Surf and the things we were planning, they decided we’d be stronger together than separate,” Nicholas and Surf manager Laurie Lietz said.“Terry Stewart was only in here for 10 minutes when he said that he’d always wanted to come here but never imagined it was this cool,” Nicholas said. “To tell you how enthused they are, their contingent is coming in Johnny Cash’s 1979 tour bus.”In Stewart’s letter to the Surf announcing the partnership, he called the Surf a “true American cultural icon.”“There are few buildings that exist today that represent a complete shift in our musical history like the Surf does. As the last concert venue for Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper, the Surf Ballroom is the bedrock of where the sound and attitude of rock and roll changed forever. The legacy of these artists is sustained in their pioneering efforts, vision and influence on the musicians that came after them.”Designation of the Surf as a rock ’n’ roll landmark will take place Feb. 2. Other locations that have received the landmark designation are the famed nightclub Whisky-A-Go-Go in Los Angeles, Brooklyn High School in Brooklyn, Ohio, where Elvis Presley played his first concert north of the Mason-Dixon Line, and Clarksdale, Miss., which Stewart called the “cradle of the blues.”In closing, Stewart wrote, “The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum extends its mission to preserve and educate the world about the history and significance of rock and roll music by supporting the Surf Ballroom and Museum and their continuing efforts to keep the memory of the Winter Dance Party alive. We look forward to a continued and fruitful partnership with them well into the future.”

Traveling the country these past five months while writing a book, I’ve had my own opportunity to take the pulse, far from the campaign crowds. My own totally unscientific polling has left me feeling that if there is one overwhelming hunger in our country today it’s this: People want to do nation-building. They really do. But they want to do nation-building in America.
They are not only tired of nation-building in Iraq and in Afghanistan, with so little to show for it. They sense something deeper — that we’re just not that strong anymore. We’re borrowing money to shore up our banks from city-states called Dubai and Singapore. Our generals regularly tell us that Iran is subverting our efforts in Iraq, but they do nothing about it because we have no leverage — as long as our forces are pinned down in Baghdad and our economy is pinned to Middle East oil.
Our president’s latest energy initiative was to go to Saudi Arabia and beg King Abdullah to give us a little relief on gasoline prices. I guess there was some justice in that. When you, the president, after 9/11, tell the country to go shopping instead of buckling down to break our addiction to oil, it ends with you, the president, shopping the world for discount gasoline.
We are not as powerful as we used to be because over the past three decades, the values of our parents’ generation — work hard, study, save, invest, live within your means — have given way to sub prime values: “You can have the American dream — a house — with no money down and no payments for two years.”
That’s why Donald Rumsfeld’s infamous defense of why he did not originally send more troops to Iraq is the mantra of our times: “You go to war with the army you have.” Hey, you march into the future with the country you have — not the one that you need, not the one you want, not the best you could have.
A few weeks ago, my wife and I flew from New York’s Kennedy Airport to Singapore. In J.F.K.’s waiting lounge we could barely find a place to sit. Eighteen hours later, we landed at Singapore’s ultramodern airport, with free Internet portals and children’s play zones throughout. We felt, as we have before, like we had just flown from the Flintstones to the Jetsons. If all Americans could compare Berlin’s luxurious central train station today with the grimy, decrepit Penn Station in New York City, they would swear we were the ones who lost World War II.
How could this be? We are a great power. How could we be borrowing money from Singapore? Maybe it’s because Singapore is investing billions of dollars, from its own savings, into infrastructure and scientific research to attract the world’s best talent — including Americans.
And us? Harvard’s president, Drew Faust, just told a Senate hearing that cutbacks in government research funds were resulting in “downsized labs, layoffs of post docs, slipping morale and more conservative science that shies away from the big research questions.” Today, she added, “China, India, Singapore ... have adopted biomedical research and the building of biotechnology clusters as national goals. Suddenly, those who train in America have significant options elsewhere.”
Much nonsense has been written about how Hillary Clinton is “toughening up” Barack Obama so he’ll be tough enough to withstand Republican attacks. Sorry, we don’t need a president who is tough enough to withstand the lies of his opponents. We need a president who is tough enough to tell the truth to the American people. Any one of the candidates can answer the Red Phone at 3 a.m. in the White House bedroom. I’m voting for the one who can talk straight to the American people on national TV — at 8 p.m. — from the White House East Room.
Who will tell the people? We are not who we think we are. We are living on borrowed time and borrowed dimes. We still have all the potential for greatness, but only if we get back to work on our country.
I don’t know if Barack Obama can lead that, but the notion that the idealism he has inspired in so many young people doesn’t matter is dead wrong. “Of course, hope alone is not enough,” says Tim Shriver, chairman of Special Olympics, “but it’s not trivial. It’s not trivial to inspire people to want to get up and do something with someone else.”
It is especially not trivial now, because millions of Americans are dying to be enlisted — enlisted to fix education, enlisted to research renewable energy, enlisted to repair our infrastructure, enlisted to help others. Look at the kids lining up to join Teach for America. They want our country to matter again. They want it to be about building wealth and dignity — big profits and big purposes. When we just do one, we are less than the sum of our parts. When we do both, said Shriver, “no one can touch us.”

Last week, I was at a 25th wedding anniversary for an average normal couple, if there is such a thing. He's a schoolteacher, she's a sales clerk. These are two careers where you don't take business trips. That means that at the end of every day, you both go home. You have to respect that. This is a marriage with no time off. Compare that to the scenario where the man and the woman are both senior executives in a large corporation. They travel all the time. In 25 years of marriage, they're really only together about four years. We need to differentiate between these types of marriages. It's not how many years you're married, it's how many days and, more importantly nights, you've spent together. Now obviously we don't want to discount the accomplishment of a 25-year marriage, regardless of the reduced years of active service, but I think you have the right to calibrate your gift based on the degree of difficulty. The traveling business couple should get flowers and a card, the stay-at-home working couple deserves something better. I suggest a gift of separate holidays for each of them or a large bottle of an expensive beverage with a significant alcohol content.

A young fellow had just gotten his Driver's Permit. He asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son.'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car.'The son thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed that you didn't get your hair cut.'The young man paused a moment, then said: 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long Hair, and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair.'To this his father replied,

'Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?

Iknow that in the early stages of child development, they go through a phase when they believe they are the center of the universe. As a parent, it is your job to alter that misconception by trying to convince them to be mindful of others, mainly to be mindful you. It happened to us. Through the experiences of growing up and having teachers and friends and bosses, we all became convinced that we are not the center of our universe. I think this is a mistake. This may be a good policy short term, but in the long run, like when you get to be my age, it's really important to be the focus of your own life. Otherwise, you run the risk of making a 27-year-old Hooters waitress the center of your universe and that will only lead to disappointment as you fall short in oh so many areas. But when you're the one who sets the standard for your universe, you're like a chapter from the Goldilocks story -- everyone different than you is either too young or too old or too big or too small, whereas you are just right. So be the center of your universe. Make all of your decisions based on how it affects you. Live everyday as if you are the Intergalactic Emperor. But don't tell anyone. Especially your wife.

Whenever you see a married couple telling a story to a third party, there is a drastic shift in the relationship and dynamic between them. The person who's telling the story, in most cases the wife, becomes the Prosecutor, while the person who the story's about, in all cases the husband, becomes the Defense Attorney. The third party, who is usually a friend or neighbor, becomes judge and jury. Unlike formal court procedures, these trials have very few rules. There is no prerequisite to present evidence or provide witnesses or most importantly, to tell the truth. The two quasi-lawyers start with the summations and then just interrupt each other at will, imploring the judge to see it their way. The judge on the other hand has no hard evidence to make a decision and ultimately sides with the person they like, which puts the friendship in jeopardy. So I suggest that if you and your wife have a story to tell, never tell it together. Let her tell it her way to her friends, and you tell it your way to yours. Neither one of you is telling the story the way it actually happened anyway, so the outcome is not relevant or important. And if you ever do get into a situation where you accidentally find yourselves telling a story simultaneously to the same person, ask for a recess, take your wife aside and settle out of court.