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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Earthquake? What Earthquake?
Jerry Hinkle owed his uncle, Don Hinkle, a phone call, so he called him last night. Don said that there was an earthquake in Los Angeles that afternoon that was supposedly felt as far away as Las Vegas and San Diego. He also reported that he never felt a thing.
Jerry called to let Don know that he has all A's and a 4.0 GPA for the Summer Term. Jerry had told him in May that he was expecting a C+ at best in World Religions. Jerry did better than expected, this time anyway!
Publisher Says "Goodbye" to One Friend "Hello" to Another
Yesterday was one of mixed blessings for Jerry Hinkle. Ms. Herman, his good friend and part time exercise buddy, has joined the Army Reserve, and left on a jet plane to exercise without him. Before she left, Ms. Herman arranged for Jerry to meet up with Nicole, a good friend of hers, who works with a company called Reliv. Nicole and three other ladies had a Reliv meeting at the new MTI building at 7:30 last night, and Jerry went. He learned quite a bit about Reliv, and will be studying up a little further on this company, that just turned 20 years old this year.
Jerry has seen this kind of thing before, Market America, Royal Body Care, Studio Girl, and of course, Amway . He might try out some of the products, but he's not looking to get into anymore businesses. Not with his own money anyway. Reliv has some top notch people in it, just like all the other businesses we've named here!
North of 40:Engineered food
by Red Green
If you're like me, you've been hearing a lot about these genetically modified organisms lately. Where scientists are making these new kinds of foods by taking the genes from a zucchini, mixing them with the genes from a sheep's bladder and getting a woolly cucumber that's potty trained. The other day, I was at the grocery store looking for the ingredients to make a BLT, and on the shelf I see these things called "grape tomatoes" -- tomatoes the size of, you guessed it, grapes. Fine, I suppose if you want to make a salad that you have to eat with a pair of tweezers. Then I look over next to them, and there are these "organic" tomatoes, grown without using any chemicals. And it shows: They're greener and lumpier than a 40-year-old mattress. And right there in front of them is this guy wearing open-toed sandals and a T-shirt with "100 percent HEMP" written on it. He sees me looking at the Franken-tomatoes and says, "Those little things are totally unnatural. They'll totally mess with your system." So I tell him that happens every time I eat a bratwurst.
And he gets this look on his face like I just told him that granola was a four-letter word and says, "Oh, you eat meat." And I say, "Well, it's a whole lot better than the other way around." Then he goes off in a huff, and I'm left wondering what just happened there. All I wanted was a BLT, but some hippie and I end up comparing the size of our tomatoes. Now I'm not saying that the dude in the smokable T-shirt was wrong or the scientists are right.
All I'm saying is the next time you go to buy a beefsteak tomato, you'd better think twice.

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