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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Thursday, August 21, 2008
Newsblog Back on Top
It took while, but the Holabird Advocate Newsblog is the #1 website in the Blog$hare ratings for South Dakota. Of course that rating means precious little to anyone, but we'll take good news where we find it these days.
On a totally unrelated note, our Publisher has finalized for the Fall Term, and has bought $461 worth of books at the University book store. What did he get for that tidy sum. He got 11 books and 2 reading packets. No wonder he tried to kill himself, more about that later.
Dakota Fest is Festive
While it hasn't quite replaced the State Fair, Jerry Hinkle was impressed with the many displays and booths at Dakota Fest in Mitchell. Darrel Hinkle supplied the ticket, with the understanding that Jerry would supply evening vittles. As it turns out, both Darrel and Harold Hinkle had a belly full of the Fest before evening, leaving at around 3 PM.
Jerry noticed that several Hyde County folks came down for the event, such as Tim Zilverberg, Jerry Dittman, Carl, Mike and Les Ashdown, Jim and Larry Kerr, Dan and Scott Pekarek, and Deb Rinehart. There may have been others, but they avoided our Publisher's eyes.
Jerry was glad to have run into Deb, as she was giving out free samples of a worm free Spicy Cuban meat rub. If you use any imported substance in or on your meat, Jerry believes that this would be the one to use. Jerry also tried some free soy ice cream, which wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, ditto on the free tofu fudge brownie cookie. Harold rather generously sprang for chocolate milkshakes. Jerry took advantage of the free ice water as much as possible, even though it wasn't as good as Wall Drug's. At least it was wet, Bub! Wells Fargo, the official bank of the Hinkle Empire, gave up a bag of microwave popcorn. He also availed himself of a "Share Meal". The Farm Bureau sponsored a meal consisting of one's choice of a burger or brat, a bag of chips, and a drink. the actual cost was $1.65, or so we're told. The Farmers share, which was what those who bought tickets were charged: 19 %, or a total of 50 cents. Someone asked if that included tax. That caused Jerry to think about the farmers who have to pay taxes with their 19% share on top of all the other expenses. Farmers still pay taxes don't they? Just asking that question makes us wonder if we've been in the Big City too long!
Of course, Jerry did more than eat and drink. There was plenty of machinery and pre fab houses to look at, Morton Buildings, etc. He really enjoyed talking to the guys at the Fellowship of Christian Farmers International. Jerry knows that more than just about any profession, the farmer is very beholding to his (or her) creator, whether they know it or not.
The next day, Jerry tried to kill himself. As most of those who are close to him know, Jerry has a a fear of flying. To be more specific, a fear of crashing to the ground in a fireball of death. When Jerry was in the Black Hills, he saw a sign for helicopter tours, but couldn't take one, because there was too much rain. When he saw that Dakota Fest had Helicopter rides, he thought of taking the chance, even though it was the cost of nearly 6 hours of dish washing. It was a little scary at first, because he had nothing to hold on to. And whenever the helicopter leaned to one side or the other, he was nervous. In that 20 minutes, Jerry saw the Corn Palace, DWU, Pizza Hut, and all the rest of Mitchell, all in miniature. The two things he did not see were his lunch and a reason to be fearful. That sounds like a success to all of us here at the Holabird Advocate. Does this mean he's gonna fly to Europe on Virgin Atlantic soon? NO! But he knows that even with a good stiff South Dakota breeze, he has nothing to fear as long as he stays in God's hands.
North of 40:The code
by Red Green
There's a movie out now about the secret codes that the military uses to prevent the enemy from intercepting their messages. This is not an unusual concept. Husbands and wives have been communicating in code since the beginning of time. When an attractive woman moves in next door, your wife will say "Have you seen our new neighbor?" but she really means "I've seen our new neighbor, and I'll be watching you like a hawk." When your wife says "Does this dress look all right to wear to the party?" she's really saying, "I'd like you to start paying attention to me now, in the hopes that the pattern will carry over to the party so that our friends will see that although their marriages have become stale and repetitive, ours is still fresh and vibrant." And although you're thinking, "Wear any dress you want. You don't need me to tell you what to wear. And vice versa," what you say is, "Yeah, it's great. What should I wear?" And after you've been at the party for a couple of hours and your wife says, "I think we should go home now," you're thinking, "This is looking good," but what she really means is, "I think we should go home now." And when you get home and she says, "It's time for bed," what she really means is "Goodnight"!

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