One Week ago tonight the man to your left took the lady to your far left to be is lawfully wedded wife. Many of Andrew and Jennifer's friends and family came to see them as they made their own vows. There was laughter and tears, but more importantly, there was love. The easy part is over for them. After all, getting married is easy, for some it's easier than others. The Hard part is staying married. Of course, you need to have love, but it takes more than that. It takes faith and hope as well. Andy and Jen asked God to bless their union by their actions on Friday last. One part of the ceremony that struck a cord with Andy's Godfather, Jerry Hinkle is that there were 3 "I do" responses. Andy said it, Jen said it, and the congregation said it. That was an interesting way to show Andy and Jen that they are not alone in this. It also shows the witnesses that Andy and Jen are truly one flesh and that God wants them to support Andy and Jen in any way possible. With most people, they just show up to a wedding, and drop off a gift. This time the guests made a lifetime commitment of support. That means more than any wedding gift ever could.

Naturally all of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish the happy couple well, and will continue to do so until death parts either them or us.

"Went to a party Mom"

I went to a party,

And remembered what you said.

You told me

not to drink, Mom,

so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,

The way you said I would,

that I didn't drink and drive,

though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,

And your advice to me was right.

The party finally ended,

and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,

Sure to get home in one piece.

I never knew what was coming, Mom, something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,

And I hear the policeman say,

the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,

Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,

As I try hard not to cry.

I can hear the paramedic say,

this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,

While he was flying high.

Because he chose to drink and drive,

now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom

Knowing that it ruins lives?

And now the pain is cutting me,

like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom

Tell daddy to be brave.

And when I go to heaven,

put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,

That it's wrong to drink and drive.

Maybe if his parents had,

I'd still be alive

My breath is getting shorter,

Mom I'm getting really scared

These are my final moments,

and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,

As I lie here and die.

I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'

So I love you and good-bye.

Today's edition of our little Newsblog was a little more serious in tone than usual, but now we'll have some fun. This is a video that my niece, Kaitlin Pothast, showed me and it has had me hooked on YouTube ever since. My other nieces and nephews like it too! I hope ya'll do as well!

Jerry noticed that several Hyde County folks came down for the event, such as Tim Zilverberg, Jerry Dittman, Carl, Mike and Les Ashdown, Jim and Larry Kerr, Dan and Scott Pekarek, and Deb Rinehart. There may have been others, but they avoided our Publisher's eyes.

Jerry was glad to have run into Deb, as she was giving out free samples of a worm free Spicy Cuban meat rub. If you use any imported substance in or on your meat, Jerry believes that this would be the one to use. Jerry also tried some free soy ice cream, which wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, ditto on the free tofu fudge brownie cookie. Harold rather generously sprang for chocolate milkshakes. Jerry took advantage of the free ice water as much as possible, even though it wasn't as good as Wall Drug's. At least it was wet, Bub! Wells Fargo, the official bank of the Hinkle Empire, gave up a bag of microwave popcorn. He also availed himself of a "Share Meal". The Farm Bureau sponsored a meal consisting of one's choice of a burger or brat, a bag of chips, and a drink. the actual cost was $1.65, or so we're told. The Farmers share, which was what those who bought tickets were charged: 19 %, or a total of 50 cents. Someone asked if that included tax. That caused Jerry to think about the farmers who have to pay taxes with their 19% share on top of all the other expenses. Farmers still pay taxes don't they? Just asking that question makes us wonder if we've been in the Big City too long!

Of course, Jerry did more than eat and drink. There was plenty of machinery and pre fab houses to look at, Morton Buildings, etc. He really enjoyed talking to the guys at the Fellowship of Christian Farmers International. Jerry knows that more than just about any profession, the farmer is very beholding to his (or her) creator, whether they know it or not.

The next day, Jerry tried to kill himself. As most of those who are close to him know, Jerry has a a fear of flying. To be more specific, a fear of crashing to the ground in a fireball of death. When Jerry was in the Black Hills, he saw a sign for helicopter tours, but couldn't take one, because there was too much rain. When he saw that Dakota Fest had Helicopter rides, he thought of taking the chance, even though it was the cost of nearly 6 hours of dish washing. It was a little scary at first, because he had nothing to hold on to. And whenever the helicopter leaned to one side or the other, he was nervous. In that 20 minutes, Jerry saw the Corn Palace, DWU, Pizza Hut, and all the rest of Mitchell, all in miniature. The two things he did not see were his lunch and a reason to be fearful. That sounds like a success to all of us here at the Holabird Advocate. Does this mean he's gonna fly to Europe on Virgin Atlantic soon? NO! But he knows that even with a good stiff South Dakota breeze, he has nothing to fear as long as he stays in God's hands.

There's a movie out now about the secret codes that the military uses to prevent the enemy from intercepting their messages. This is not an unusual concept. Husbands and wives have been communicating in code since the beginning of time. When an attractive woman moves in next door, your wife will say "Have you seen our new neighbor?" but she really means "I've seen our new neighbor, and I'll be watching you like a hawk." When your wife says "Does this dress look all right to wear to the party?" she's really saying, "I'd like you to start paying attention to me now, in the hopes that the pattern will carry over to the party so that our friends will see that although their marriages have become stale and repetitive, ours is still fresh and vibrant." And although you're thinking, "Wear any dress you want. You don't need me to tell you what to wear. And vice versa," what you say is, "Yeah, it's great. What should I wear?" And after you've been at the party for a couple of hours and your wife says, "I think we should go home now," you're thinking, "This is looking good," but what she really means is, "I think we should go home now." And when you get home and she says, "It's time for bed," what she really means is "Goodnight"!

All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are quite concerned that the young lady photographed here, one Anastasia Elisabeth Nemec Has not been blogging since her 21st birthday last spring. Now, our Publisher was 21 once, and he remembers what he did when he turned 21, and he is quite certain she didn't do that, because he was watching the Democratic National Convention on CBS. Whatever she's doing, she needs to stop doing. In fact, we'd like her to work part time at the Hinkle Empire. We'll give her 500,000 shares of Holabird Advocate stock, and the title of Chief Executive Ambassador of the Northern Hemisphere (Queen of England is already taken). This offer will be null and void if she has appeared in any videos with "Gone Wild" in the title!

Later on today, Jerry Hinkle will be loading up the Thrustmobile and getting up to see the home folks. He'll be getting ready for his cousin's Andy's wedding on Friday, then back home Sunday for another date with the dishes

OK, Let's get one thing straight from the get-go. Dolly Parton, Burt Reynolds, and Dom Delouise. Like me, they did not even audition. Those who did, in fact, show up to audition put on a great show. The singing was almost always pitch perfect, the choreography was excellent, and the acting superb. Some of the material presented was not suitable for children, and in some cases, not suitable for my 90 year old Grandmother. My aunt Joan would have used 3 bottles of Ivory liquid on the Sheriff alone. Yet the show was about a house of ill repute, and I'm quite sure the audience knew that. As it happens, Dolly Parton herself referred to the movie as "The Best Little Chickenhouse in Texas"

The show was above average as far as the technical aspects went. A few microphones went out at the wrong time. The "Watchdog" scene, where the house lights were of and flashlights were on gave the impression that there was either smoke of a cloud of dust on shade. I'd like to know how they did that! However, there were either too many ladies at the Chicken Ranch, or not enough character development. We only really only got to know Ms. Mona, Jewel, Angel, and Shy. The rest of the ladies were little more than decoration.

Of all of the characters in the show, my favorite has got to be the villain of the piece, one Melvin P. Thorpe. As portrayed Paul Zeller, Thorpe is a twisted amalgam of Porter Wagner, Jimmy Swaggart, any sleazy talk show host you care to name, and a dash of JR Ewing. His goal is, just fresh from making some candy company beg for mercy, looking to shut down the Chicken Ranch to feed his own publicity machine just because he can. It is hinted that he avails the services of an even more unsavory establishment of ill repute in the city, but that does not dissuade him. He exposes the Chicken Ranch on his "Watchdog" show and goes all the way to the Governor of Texas himself to get the job done, and not to give too much away, but he does shut the place down! At the bows, Zeller was booed. Yeah, He reached his goal! This roll was sort of a comeback for Paul Zeller. On behalf of the theatre-going public, I say

WELCOME BACK!

The highlight of the show for me was Cheri Hamilton's solo as Doatsey Mae. She put her heart and soul into that song, and it showed. Hamilton told me tater that in real life, she had worked as a waitress. hopefully she made better coffee than Doatsey Mae. Lacey Laurendeau's solo, "Twenty-Four Hour's of Lovin'" would be a close second. It's a powerful song and different than what she usually sings at First United Methodist Church whenever she pays us a visit from her studies at USF. Her Musical Education background has served her well. To give the guy's credit, the "Aggie Song" number was wonderfully executed. Not only did the fellas put their heart and soul into the routine, but their bodies as well. It looked like quite a workout.

Bottom line, this show gets thumbs up from me. The company of players took the issues of prostitution and hypocrisy, made fun of them, then got serious about them, and made their audience think between laughs. One member of the audience was heard to say, "There should be more Sheriffs like that!" In my research for this review, I discovered a Sequel where Ms. Mona manages a Las Vegas brothel for the IRS. If there's a part for Melvin P. Thorpe, I'd work as an usher AND pay to see it!

On a personal note, I've become acquainted with quite a few members of the cast of this play, seeing them in other shows, and working with a couple of them in other projects, and I must say that Al Jacklin gave the best performance I've ever seen as the Sheriff. The sight of him holding a pistol still makes me nervous. When he gave the admonition to turn off our cell phones in character, I did just that! He was just that convincing

Jerry Hinkle has been notified that he has to finalize with DWU for the Fall Term between the hours of 8am-5pm on August 21. Finalization simply means that all relevant information is updated, and all tuition and other fees get paid. In Jerry's case, writing thank you notes to all those who put up the scholarship money that enabled him to sleep a little easier at night. Why the University wants to subject these people to Jerry's handwriting is a mystery, but he plays along. Why not? It's easier than coming up with the dough himself. Jerry would have to wash a whole lot more dishes to come up with it, that's for sure!

Mary Hinkle

THE OLD COWBOY

A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM SOUTH TEXAS COUNSELED HIS GRANDSON THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HIS OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDSON DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN HE DIED. HE LEFT BEHIND:

14 CHILDREN,

30 GRANDCHILDREN,

45 GREAT -GRAND-CHILDREN,

25 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN,

AND A 15 FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE.

What could possibly go wrong?

Here's another YouTube Video! Enjoy this Haka demonstration!

I think it's a good idea to surround yourself with things that are the same age as you are. Not just friends and loved ones, but houses and cars and almost anything really. You may think you're in rough shape, but not compared to that baby carriage that was bought on the day you were born. Or the TV. Or the lawnmower. If you want to feel better about yourself, go to an old guy's yard sale, and pick up a few banged up rusty items that are the same age as you. You'll look so good beside them. But stay away from anything that's been restored. Things your age that look good will only give your wife dangerous ideas.

It must be time for the Sturgis Rally, because half of the vehicles on the streets of Mitchell are motorcycles. Even in the downtown area the unmistakable thunder of a Harley engine can be heard at all hours. In the evening, these bikers gotta sleep and eat. They find a motel, and those with good taste order Pizza Hut Delivery. It's been reported that bikers are good tippers, but nobody tips the dishwasher.

Of course there is a certain element that like to cause trouble, so there's always got to be one guy sleeping outside with the bikes. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope it's not the same guy every time. Ya'll take turns, now! Welcome to Mitchell!

Mary Hinkle found out that faith alone will not make a Hinkle reunion. Doug Hinkle is on call for Pierre's Bravest, and Darrel Hinkle is trying to get a crop out of the ground among other things.
In the event Jerry Hinkle is able to get away, he will most likely go to the non-reunion, now known as "Andy's wedding" There won't be very many Hinkle's there, but quite a few relatives of another variety will be there. Not many, but a few. We will be withholding certain details about the wedding, since it is an "invitation only" deal, and if you weren't among those who were invited to this deal, HARD CHEESE!

Some time ago, I had joined in on the chorus of those who are wondering if Senator Tim Johnson was going to debate his opponent at Dakota Fest, or anywhere else for that matter, and if he should do the same. Of course, every problem has a solution, and over the weekend, I came up with one. It's not a perfect solution, but it's better than none at all.

I remembered back in 1980, when Jim Abnor was either unwilling or unable to debate George McGovern. A fellow Republican came forward, debated McGovern, and some may say that he won the election for Abnor. Now, Getting Bill Janklow to debate on behalf of Senator Johnson would be a real stretch. Besides, his heart wouldn't be in it. We need a Democratic Bill Janklow. we need a lawyer, who is well versed in the policy of his party, and if possible, the candidate. Someone with the passion to see that both sides of an issue get heard. But Mostly, we need someone who is both willing and able to speak on behalf of Senator Tim Johnson. At first I thought of Tom Daschle, but then, he's too much of a "D.C. Resident". Besides that, he was supposedly too busy to debate Ron Schmidt back in 1998.

Then I thought, what about Todd Epp? Mr. Epp is a lawyer, a Democrat, he may have to be briefed on Johnson's voting record, but I understand that's a common occurrence when the debater is speaking on his or her own behalf anyway. He can and does speak well. If I needed a lawyer and could afford him, he'd be it!

You know, I'd better start reading his blog again. In case he's a Dykstra supporter. In any case, keep praying for both Johnson and Dykstra. Also pray for wisdom on Election Day. Hopefully Florida won't try to vote for Mickey Mouse, and Oho won't vote in Charlie Brown!