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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Saturday, June 28, 2008
Hinkle Empire Grows From Neglect
Wasn't it Thomas Jefferson who once said something like The Government that governs best is the one that governs least. That has been the Hinkle Empire, to be sure. Caesar Hinkle was well pleased to see all the red on the map of the world at the bottom of our Front Page. We are growing like a California wildfire
One of our newest citizens is Mya Patricia McCloud who was birthed at 10:08 PM on May 15, 2008. She weighed 10 lbs. 11 oz. and was 21 1/2 inches long. Mya is the first grandchild of Nick and Mary Jo Nemec. Mya and here parents, whose names were left of the birth announcement, live somewhere in the Sioux Falls area.
Yes, We Have No Obama Pictures
Back before Election Day, Future President Barack Obama stopped by the Corn Palace looking for votes. See this was back when Hillary Clinton refused to read the handwriting on the wall. Anyhow, our Publisher squeezed off a few photos, but can't seem to find anywhere it Mitchell that can develop them. Walgreen's, Walmart, nobody could get the job done. The trip wasn't a total waste of time. Even though he had to stand around in the blazing hot sun with temps in the high 90 degree range, getting a sunburn in the process, the time was well spent for Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle. First, he got to hear George McGovern talk about the time back when he he was a Republican and saw Wendel Willkie at the Corn Palace 68 years ago. Second, he got to hear Obama cleverly articulate his vision for America. Last, but certainly not least, Jerry was informed by Professor Sean Flynn PhD. that NBC News put Jerry on TV that afternoon. If Jerry ever gets TV reception, he just might watch NBC News.
Publisher is Tough Enough to Wear Pink
The Mitchell Pizza Hut is allowing employees to where pink t-shirts every Friday until Labor Day to promote breast cancer awareness. all this will cost Jerry is $10, his dignity, and his self respect, for a grand total of , well, $10. More details to come throughout the summer.
North of 40: The defense rests
by Red Green
Whenever you see a married couple telling a story to a third party, there is a drastic shift in the relationship and dynamic between them. The person who's telling the story, in most cases the wife, becomes the Prosecutor, while the person who the story's about, in all cases the husband, becomes the Defense Attorney. The third party, who is usually a friend or neighbor, becomes judge and jury. Unlike formal court procedures, these trials have very few rules. There is no prerequisite to present evidence or provide witnesses or most importantly, to tell the truth. The two quasi-lawyers start with the summations and then just interrupt each other at will, imploring the judge to see it their way. The judge on the other hand has no hard evidence to make a decision and ultimately sides with the person they like, which puts the friendship in jeopardy. So I suggest that if you and your wife have a story to tell, never tell it together. Let her tell it her way to her friends, and you tell it your way to yours. Neither one of you is telling the story the way it actually happened anyway, so the outcome is not relevant or important. And if you ever do get into a situation where you accidentally find yourselves telling a story simultaneously to the same person, ask for a recess, take your wife aside and settle out of court.

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