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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Monday, July 07, 2008
Can't Stand the Heat Go to the Kitchen
the heat in Mitchell on Sunday afternoon was so bad that Jerry Hinkle decided it was time to install the air conditioner that has been in the trunk of the Thrustmobile since June into the parlor window of McGovern Hall. Trouble was that it did wouldn't stay in the window, even after using a whole roll of duct tape (Darn you, Red Green ! That stuff is supposed to be sticky !).
After having 19 fits and a couple nervous breakdowns, Jerry noticed that the kitchen window is a little smaller, and he just might be able to fit it in there. It did take a little coaxing, but the duct tape stuck to this window a little better. Today, when it was 90 degrees outside, McGovern Hall was a chilly 78 in the parlor. No word on how cold it was in the kitchen.
Sheriff Comes to the Hut
Sunday was no day of rest for our Publisher. He put in a shift at Pizza Hut after installing the air conditioner. It had just started raining when Jerry went outside. The tornado sirens went off in Mitchell even though the tornado was at Mt. Vernon. There was speculation that it was headed that way. As far as all of us here at the Holabird Advocate know, it never got here. The closest we could get to a tornado was the Sheriff of Whiskey Creek, the newest steakhouse in Mitchell. When she first came in the door, Jerry thought it was a peace officer. A closer examination showed that she was one of his coursemates from Jesus class, who one assumes works at Whiskey Creek, since she has the uniform and all. when the sirens sounded, Whiskey Crek evacuated, so she came to Pizza Hut. She was with her boyfreind, but still talked to Jerry for nearly 5-10 minutes while the boyfriend just listened. Maybe they were married during the Summer Break or something.
There was a fire at Whiskey Creek a while back, and they were closed. Perhaps they've reopened. We might investigate Whiskey Creek a little deeper if any Readers would care to send donations into our research budget.
South Dakota Songbook
"We Can Do Better in America"
by Donna Fargo
I woke up from a dream When I heard a voice calling out
We can do better in America
We've forgotten who we are And were gonna lose our country
If we don't fix what's wrong in America
Big shot CEO's have moved our jobs to other countries
Gas prices are killing us in America
But we still love our promise land
And were gonna keep believing
That we can do better in America
Cause we are Americans When were down we must rise
We must come back to greatness Honor truth instead of lies
If we wanna lead the world again We've got to lead ourselves
And we just got to do better in America
If life is for living, why not peace instead of war?
The house out of order doesn't work right anymore
An eye for eye just leaves everybody blind
We can do better in America and better for mankind
This is no time for applebee
Its time to face reality
Who's looking out for us in America
Our food isn't safe Our money is being wasted
Shouldn't Americans come first in America
We've got people homeless in this place we call home
Nobody should go hungry in America
Nobody should be sick if we know how to make them well
Were better than that and we can do better in America
Cause we are Americans
When were down we must rise
We must come back to greatness
Honor truth instead of lies
If we want to lead the world again
We must lead ourselves
We need each other more than ever in America
This is America Land we call our own
The spirit of our people is what makes it feel like home
Lets all stand together, speak with one heart, one mind
We can do better in America and better for mankind

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