When it comes to advertising, middle-aged men are becoming a larger and larger target, both individually and as a group. When you see any of the following features, you can be sure the products are aimed at guys like us:
Relaxed fit
Wrinkle-free
Ultra-light
Foolproof
Non-flammable
Guaranteed for life

Prairie Deacon Media Declares "War"
Jerry Hinkle, CEO of Prairie Deacon Media announces that he will be starting up another blog titled "War on Cancer". It will be a web site dedicated to those who have literally fought cancer. The idea was thought up as a way to recognize those who survived, and those who dies fighting. It may not be as glamorous as a "War on Terror", but it's a way to increase awareness of this terrible disease in all it's deadly forms. If there is anyone out there who has fought cancer, or has cancer in the family, and wants to be a part of this new venture, they are welcome. We hope to spread the word about fundraisers like Relay For Life, or Steps For Hope. We may even be able to spread the word about benefit dinners for those who need financial help in their own battle with the big C. most importantly, we hope to share the stories of hope and struggle.
Jerry was inspired to do this because of all the good that came about through his involvement with the Hunter Mees family. He wonders how many other families there are that need the kind of support that Hunter got.
John Zilverberg Catches On
At least one other major Blogger has read "My Opinion by John Zilverberg". Doug Wiken from "Dakota Today" had this to say: http://dakotatoday.typepad.com/dakotatoday/2007/01/another_sd_blog.html
What Mr Wiken may not know is that John is the brother of the famed Cartoonist, Jim Zilverberg, that he refereed to. John himself knows a thing or two about the struggles of an immigrant family as his dad Jake Zilverberg, an artist in his own right, came to this country from Holland. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are sure that Jake didn't have it as easy as the illegal alien of today, and he came here lawfully, learned English, and didn't have his hand out. Jake earned his part of the American Dream the hard way. Remember that when you read John's latest article: http://johnzilverberg.blogspot.com/2007/01/illegal-immigrants.html
Too Soon to Vote for President
by Jerry Hinkle
courageous, dynamic Publisher
of the Holabird Advocate
Well, the results are in, and it looks like very few people are in a voting mood. Of the Readers who took part in our Presidential election survey, 47% wanted to give their answer a year from now. A mere 7% want to make Hillary Clinton the first Madame President. A slightly more impressive 20% want to make Barrack Obama the first known African American President. The rest are thinking (if you can call it that) "Hinkle for President". Of course we don't know which Hinkle they're thinking of.
I have a theory that may or may not be proven until 2008. I have always thought that since Black males got the vote before women, that a Black man will be elected President before a woman will. It's such a pity to know that I have to wait a whole year to find out. My Grandma Agnes is a woman, and she'd vote for Tiger Woods anytime.

Here She Is

It looks as though Jerry Hinkle, courageous, dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate might know a thing or two about blogging, but when it comes to how to win at beauty pageants, he knows nothing. He told Ms. Bauman not to show her Belly button to the nation. And sure enough, tonight she didn't. that's because she didn't make it to semi finals. Of course, being tied for 11th place isn't too bad. Trouble was the ten women who did make it, they all showed the nation their belly button. Every last one of them.

Miss Oklahoma ended up winning the crown. Miss Texas, who was Jerry's second choice, ended up being the nations second choice as well. Texas has a lot to be proud of with that little lady.

Oh well, at least Callee Bauman still has her dignity. But she didn't even get Miss Congeniality, that's what really hurts all of us here at the Holabird Advocate. Jerry voted more than a dead guy in Chicago, and it didn't do a bit of good. At least she will be a good proponent for ethanol. Perhaps it was the oil companies that fixed this pageant.

1. Before: Bert Parks; Now: Mario Lopez

2. Before: Atlantic City; Now: Las Vegas

3. Before: ABC; Now: CMT

4. Before: No belly buttons; Now: They're everywhere

5. Before: Miss South Dakota has never won; Now: Miss South Dakota has never won YET

6. Before: Dignity and class; Now: Vulgar line dancing ( darn CMT anyhow)

7. Before: Major event that all could watch just once a year; Now: nobody watches it, and they rerun the darn thing 39 times

8. Before: Miss America was a platform for celebrity; Now: Paris Hilton is a platform for celebrity

9. Before: Judges kept mouth shut and waved to camera; Now: Judges don't shut up

10. Before: Jerry Hinkle didn't give a crap about this stuff; Now: He gives too much crap

The Holabird Advocate Circulation Department discovered a hit on Saturday evening that had originated from a blog called "Tales of a College Girl". It sounds pretty steamy, but there's no nudity or violence, and very little profanity. The author of the blog is Holabird's own Ana Nemec, who has also linked to the Holabird Advocate and My Opinion by John Zilverberg.

This blog shows that Ana is learning just about as much about life outside those hallowed halls as she is learning inside. She has developed a certain amount of common sense that should make her family proud.

Ana is the daughter of Nick and Mary Jo Nemec, who apparently knew about this blog long before the rest of us did, but in a small town nothing stays a secret for very long. This blog is too good not to share.

This makes 3 blogs from Hyde County, 4 if you count Richard Harter's contribution to Al Gore's creation. Holabird now has more blogs per ca pita than any other population center in the state. With 2 blogs and only 38 people, that's gotta be a record of some kind.

As we reflect on the last few months, we realize that with young ladies like Shannon Walls, Bridget Deuter, Callee Bauman, and Ana Nemec, South Dakota has produced some real credits to the whole female gender. We should do just half as well with the male gender.

Anyone wishing to read Ana's blog can go here: http://www.collegetales.blogspot.com/

That is the question here at the Pollmaster General. With W's latest ratings at 28% some folks are thinking it's time to petition the Congress to impeach a sitting President for the third time in history, and the second time in the last 8 years. so what do you, the Readers, think. Had enough? Well, cast your vote either way

Last night, during a Reality TV style competition, Callee Bauman, the reigning Miss South Dakota became one of three contestants for the title of Miss Congeniality in the Miss America Pageant. The camera, or at least the cameraman, sure loves her, as Ms. Bauman was featured quite a bit in the CMT show, called "Pageant School". While she isn't exactly a shoe in, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate think that she has about as good of a chance as a lot of the other contestants. We also think the contestants from Texas, Colorado, Utah, Vermont, and maybe even Delaware could give her some stiff competition. She may not be the prettiest contestant at the pageant, but she sure isn't the ugliest. Of course, whether it's win, place, show, or even if she comes in 52nd place, she is still the best that South Dakota has to offer. So fill your fuel tanks with ethanol, if you can, and then vote Callee Bauman for Miss Congeniality on the following web address:

I'm not sure what, if anything was proven by the Sutton hearings. I'm sure this isn't the end. I predict other legal action. At least this part is over. The sad part is, we are no closer to the truth then before the hearings started.

State Senator Dan Sutton is being investigated for doing some rather unspeakable acts that we won't speak of here. Plenty of other blogs are going into detail, and some are showing no mercy. However,our Publisher's grandmother reads this one, if she wants to know more, she can either read another blog or watch Keloland. One thing that strikes us as funny is that people are actually more upset that he records daytime dramas and watches them at night than they are of the actual unspeakable act he's being accused of doing. The amazing thing is that the two dramas he records, "Bold and Beautiful" and "Days" are on at the same time. How does he do it?

Our Publisher watched as much of the hearings as he could stand yesterday on www.keloland.com which wasn't easy, because every half hour or so he had to reload because the demand was so high. He won't be watching the hearings today. He'll just see what Keloland has at news time.

It was a long way and a long day for Darrel Hinkle family yesterday. They went from Springfield, Illinois to Holabird. They made a few stops along the way, but decided not to stop in Forrest City, Iowa. They had trouble finding the Jolly Green Giant statue in Blue Earth Minnesota. Perhaps it isn't there anymore.

The trip was hard on all concerned, but especially hard on Darrel, who picked up a flu bug about the time they hit Gann Valley. Kristi Hinkle decided to let the girls stay home from school today to get their homework done and just rest a little bit. They'd better get all the rest they can, because their city cousin, Cade Hinkle, is coming to the Ponderosa for a visit

Jerry Hinkle, courageous, dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate, has taken the liberty of submitting "My Opinion by John Zilverberg" to the South Dakota War College list of blogs. The SDWC website is read by several policy makers, power brokers, and even a few regular people as well. If John Zilverberg's blog is added, more people will read it by accident then would ever have read a letter to the editor on purpose.

Darrel Hinkle made it to Springfield, Illinois last night to drop off Patrick Van Tassel, Kristi Hinkle's brother. Patrick advised Darrel not to stay around the area because of there is a lot of robbery going on in his neighborhood So he drove on over to Knoxville, Illinois.

At last report, at noon Holabird Time, the Hinkles were in Waterloo, Iowa hoping to get into the John Deere Factory for a tour. They usually don't let in anyone under 12 years of age, and anyone wearing high heels or sandals. The tours are 90 minutes long. They'd also like to stop in at Forrest City and call on the Hansens. Our Publisher advised them to call ahead to make sure they were home and gave them the number.

Letter to the Publisher
Our Small Towns
It has been nearly one year that the towns and surrounding communities of Wessington Springs, Alpena, and Iroquois gave my family a ray of hope during a very dark time. January and February of 2006 the Wessington Springs and Iroquois schools hosted enormous fundraising events for my son Hunter Mees. I would like to take the time to acknowledge how much it meant to our families to experience such support. The group even managed to get Governor Rounds to declare January 27th, 2006 as Hunter Mees Day across the state.
Hunter’s diagnosis of Hodgkin’s lymphoma left us all very devastated. I will never be able to express, fully, our gratitude or how supported we all felt during this time. Hunter was a brave little boy whose sadness disappeared those two nights as he watched the boys’ basketball team, many men and boys his own age shave their heads in Wessington Springs. In Iroquois, Adrian and Abrahm Smith, raised $1000.00 on their own in pledges for shaving their long hair made Hunter laugh and remember them even during this last successful State Champion football season.
To Vicki Harmdierks, Judy Brisbine, the many others who worked so hard in Wessington Springs and to Larica Hofhenke, Lori Wehlander and the group from Iroquois, we have not forgotten what you all have done for us or the hard work it took to make it all so phenomenal.
To Jerry Hinkle for taking such a huge interest in a seven year old boy. You all are a gift from Above. As Hunter would say, we thank you all the way to the sun and the moon and the stars and back to your hearts. May God bless you all.

Shannon Walls, Hunter Mees, and our families.

Poetry Corner
i carry your heart with me

by e. e. cummings
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere

i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Darrel Hinkle called to let the home folks know that he and his family were on the way back home. They hope to be in Springfield sometime tonight. There has been some confusion as to whether he meant Springfield in Missouri or Illinois. Regardless of where he meant, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate are praying for a fun, but safe, trip home for the Hinkle family.

Jerry Hinkle, courageous, dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate, has signed up for Tom Peters newsletter. Tom Peters is a best selling author and consultant that specializes in finding offbeat businesses and unique methods for those businesses to succeed. Federal Express and Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream are two of his best discoveries. As to why Jerry signed up for the newsletter, those who know him best have already figured it out. For everyone else: it was free!

With just about a year before the Iowa caucus, Campaign 2008 has been getting off to a somewhat early start. There are so many candidates to chose from. But which one should it be? They all have points in their favor, or detriment. Last year, the Holabird Advocate endorsed two candidates, and they both lost. Let's see what you, the Reader, think of the major candidates in the race right now.

State of the Newsblog Address
Walking Through The Open Door
by Jerry Hinkle
This year, 2007, is our fifth year online. It is the Year of the Open Door. Last year at this time we had a total Readership of 11420. At that time the total was double the previous years total. I express doubt that it could continue, and sure didn't, as the current total is 21360. Of those Readers, 33% come back, the same as last years percentage. It may be because our little Newsblog is in a period of stagnation. Last year, our stock was trading Blog$hares for $40.07. Now it is down to $26.64. We also lost our Audblog service. Of course, not that many people want me to find a new one either. Perhaps our greatest loss was of the best source of material we could ask for, my Grandad. His life was an inspiration to us all. He has gone through that great Open Door
There is one bright spot. The number of hits per day has risen from 24 to 39. This can be attributed to at least one of two things. We have received more than our share of promotion from our state's greatest informational resource, "South Dakota Magazine". Also there is a certain anticipation to read what John Zilverberg has to write. I am proud that John wants to be associated with us.
No report on 2006 would be complete with out a mention of Hunter Mees. It was just 51 weeks ago that Governor Marion Michael Rounds gave Hunter his own holiday. Things were looking kinda iffy for him, but now he's doing great, and getting better every day. The only bad thing about his improving health is that some may forget all about him. I hope that I will never forget and always remember Hunter Mees, and what he has taught me, even though we've never met. Young people like him and my cousin Morgan Hoffman remind us how short life can be if we let the dark, disturbing doubts take over our heart and mind. Take nothing for granted and keep on believing and praying.

Many opportunities will present themselves to you, and to me, and to us in the next 12 months. Some will be good, and some not so much. Let's hope we can tell them apart as we look forward to 2008.

In conclusion let me say, God bless you all, God bless America, and God bless the Holabird Advocate! While we're at it, let's all bless God right back! Our first opportunity of the year!

Jackie Quinn of Wildflower Ministries is proud to announce that her book "At the End of Myself: Redefining Strength by Embracing Weakness" will be available for purchase shortly after the end of the month. The website http://www.jackiequinn.com/ is also being updated. It will debut with a more current look and streaming audio from both Cd's among other much needed changes. Jackie will have a book review and column in the winter issue of Spirit of the Plains Magazine, the second best magazine in City of Yankton, and possibly the State of South Dakota. Their website is located at http://www.spiritoftheplainsmagazine.com/

Darrel Hinkle and his family are having so much fun that they've decided to stay in Georgia for a few more days. They expect to be home sometime Tuesday night. Atlanta has been drizzling, but Augusta is alright. Darrel and Kristi have called at different times with reports but nothing has been heard from the kids point of view. Perhaps they are having so much fun, they don't want to call home.

The Methodist Church in Highmore is offering a weekly Bible study on the book of Daniel. The Bible study series is authored by Beth Moore. If enough are interested, there will be both an afternoon and an evening session anyone in the area is interested please contact Jerry Hinkle at publisher@gmail.com for more information.

It all started with Mel Gibson. He supposedly said a few anti Semitic things while he was hauled in for DUI. Then that Kramer guy said the N word. Then the guy who plays the heart surgeon on "Grey's Anatomy" said the F word (No not THAT F word! The other one! The one that rhymes with maggot!) You say one little thing, suddenly everyone is in an uproar. All the same old questions come up, "Will ____'s outburst cost him his career?", "Will his apology be accepted?". I got one, "Who the ____ Cares?" Not me!!!

Don't we still have a first amendment in this country? I mean so a "celebrity" goes a little nuts. Or perhaps speaks out of turn. It's his country too, right? I guess not! When did the freedom of speech apply to everyone but these three guys? Why are they singled out? More importantly, who'll be next?

Of course, I can't present the problem without bringing about my own unique solution. Here it is, and it's a dilly. Substitute the word you're thinking of with an word insult that offends nobody. Are you ready? The word is: Politician! Think about it. All the late night comics rip on the President! Nobody says ____ about it either. If Gibson asked that cop if he was a politician, do you think the media would have made a stink about it? I don't thinks so! If Kramer said, "Hey look, it's a bunch of politicians!" would Letterman need to have him on his show to apologize? Probably not! If that heart surgeon had called T.R. Knight a "politician" would the gays and lesbians have been all up in his Cool Aid? Not likely! So in a nutshell, my solution is this. Instead of calling a spade a spade, call a spade a politician, or a Republican, or even Democrat is you're in South Dakota. When you break it all down, the only names that you can get by with calling someone in this politically correct world is "Politician" and "Christian", and I don't advocate anyone using the word "Christian" as an insult.

While Al Gore gets a pat on the back from the environmentalists for his global warming film, All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are scratching our heads. So are some folks in Yankton are probably wondering why it was -20 the other day. How about all those Texans who are now and have been getting snowed on? We await Al Gore's explanation. Heck we'd like to hear Cliff Clavin's explanation, being that it would probably make more sense!

Now that he has sent away for his last transcripts, Jerry Hinkle wonders what new challenge will come up. His mother, Mary Hinkle, wants him to get a job at the Highmore Nursing Home. That sounds like a tall order, but the last time he was there, they appeared to be rather short staffed. When Sadie Single hit her head the other day, it took what must have seemed like, for her at least, forever to get help. Also, when he was visiting Nada Mewes a little later on, she had rung for someone to help her sit up, and nobody came for the entire length of his time with her. Jerry knows several of the people that work there, and they are all top notch. It's just too bad there aren't more of them.

Jerry has heard also about Charlie Jennings, who grew up in Hyde County. He works as a tree surgeon, and recently took a tumble from one of his patients. He likes to have visitors, and people have claimed to enjoy visiting him. Even though Jerry doesn't know Charlie, he just might see him next time he goes to the nursing home.

The Hinkle kids are not having all of the fun they were promised. The hotel they are staying at has the swimming pool closed for renovations. On top of that travel in the area is slow because of freezing rain and drizzle. It's not all bad, as the kids are getting to see their great grandmother, Irene Van Tassel. This is the first time for Shelby and Justin Hinkle, the third for Brittany Hinkle

You have heard it said that if a man dies in Jihad he will be gifted with 72 virgins. But I tell you that each and every one of them will be exactly like Rosie O' Donnell.

THOU HAST BEEN WARNED!!!!

Agnes asked her grandson, Jerry Hinkle if he watches "Ugly Betty". He readily answered a very truthful "No". Apparently, there are TV shows he won't watch, and that is one of them. He doesn't buy into all that hype. He went through that with "Gilmore Girls" a show that was recommended highly to him. However, 30 seconds into the first episode that he watched, Jerry decided that those "girls" talk too much and say too little!

There comes a time in the lives of most men when you realize you've treated your cars better than you've treated your own body. You've even treated rental cars better than your own body. But it's not a rental car.
You can't ditch it in the woods and then report it stolen. Are you one of these guys? Is it possible that you haven't kept yourself in showroom condition? There's an easy way to find out. Stand in front of the bathroom mirror. Don't actually look directly into the mirror; you're not ready for that shock yet. What you do is open up your medicine cabinet and look inside. Remember how when you were young, there'd be some toothpaste and maybe some mouthwash in it? What's in there now?
Antihistamines, anti-inflammatories, antidiarrheals, antidepressants (in case the antidiarrheals don't work). Your medicine cabinet used to be practically empty, now you've had to build on. Anti-fungals, unguents, ointments, poultices, patches, plasters, salves -- all these bottles and tubes spill out onto your sink counter, the top of the toilet tank, every horizontal surface in your bathroom. Decongestants, muscle rubs, eye drops, wart remover, hair restorer, nasal sprays, denture cleaner, antacids. If this sounds like your bathroom, it's time to take stock of your health. And time to buy stock in a drug company.

The Holabird Advocate Newsblog has been keeping some major developments under wraps for about a month now. It is the belief that our courageous, dynamic Publisher has found the next major blogging personality and with any luck, we'll have the deal finalized this very afternoon.

This morning the temp dipped to -12.6 at the Ponderosa. It was at that moment that Darrel and Kristi Hinkle decided to go to Georgia. Kristi has been planning this trip to see her grandmother, Irene Van Tassel for about 2 months now. The nasty weather in St. Louis had made them delay the trip, but now they have decided to take their chances. There are just some things that one has to experience for themselves. As we understand it, the plan is to pick up Kristi's brother, Patrick Van Tassel, in Sioux Falls to help out with the driving.

I was just a bit shocked to here that Allene Volek died last Thursday. I was even more shocked to here she was 92. I knew that her health was not the best, after all she was in the Highmore Nursing Home (or whatever they call it now).

Mrs. Volek was such a remarkable lady and a fellow Methodist. She was one of a handful of UMW members to receive the "Jewel of a Woman Award". Those who knew her could tell you why. I didn't know her all that well, but one thing about her impressed me the most. After all of the different potluck dinners and funerals, she would take the dish towels home, wash, iron and fold them and bring them back. I've known very few women in my brief span of life who took the loving care to do that, even with their own towels.

Today is Allene Volek's Funeral. I don't know who will take care of the dish towels after they have been used this afternoon. I hope that whoever does it remembers that they have huge shoes to fill.

How many roads must a man walk down

Before you call him a man?

Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail

Before she sleeps in the sand?

Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly

Before they're forever banned?

The answer, my friend, is 42,

The answer is 42.

How many times must a man look up

Before he can see the sky?

Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have

Before he can hear people cry?

Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows

That too many people have died?

The answer, my friend, is 42,

The answer is 42

How many years can a mountain exist

Before it's washed to the sea?

Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist

Before they're allowed to be free?

Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,

Pretending he just doesn't see?

The answer, my friend, is 42,

The answer is 42.

Despite Mavis Kennedy coming up short of the Bingo Jackpot, Kassidee Kennedy has let her grandma know that she is safely tucked away in her dormitory in Prague, Czech Republic. Kassidee's mother, Donna Kennedy has a knock for finding super cheap tickets from the Czech Republic to Wyoming and back again. Kassidee still hasn't reported a thing about her trip to Berlin for Thanksgiving. She has, however, expressed interest in staying in Prague for at least another year.

Wives tend to be extra sensitive about germs and bacteria and any unseen microorganisms that can hurt their family members. If a perfectly good T-bone steak gets a little paint on it, or a handful of mashed potatoes drops onto a gravel driveway, they quickly scoop them up and throw them into the trash. Men are much more resilient. If food is relatively chewable and more or less in the same range of color it started out in, they'll eat it. And they'll eat it quickly, before their wives confiscate it. Many wives are food police. Many husbands are repeat offenders. And the biggest law that separates the two sides is the "Best Before" date. How many tons of perfectly good food have been thrown out by a food cop just because it reached an arbitrary date, stuck on there by some marketing genius who realizes that once it expires, you'll need to buy more. Whenever you see a man in the middle of the night, sitting alone in a chair with the fridge door open eating everything in sight, you know that tomorrow is "Best Before" day.

Agnes Hahn reports that her grandson, Tony Goehring from Aberdeen, paid her a visit last night. It appears that Tony works for the outfit that is running cement for the new Bar JZ shop. after putting his his day's work, the crew he was working with goes to the Prairie View Motel. Tony asked his boss if he could use the company car to visit his grandmother. Being the family freindly sort, he agreed. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate would like to see the kind of job they are doing sometime.

1. What was your first impression of TaB?

T. Nasty tasting stuff

A. Once was enough

B. Not so good
2. Have you or anyone else you know about (names withheld) ever become addicted to the bizarre chemical taste of TaB?

T. Yes, a woman I used to work with popped one open at breakfast every morning and drank it throughout the day

A. A lady I bowled with tried to quit, and got these migraine like headaches

B. My sister

Interesting that none of the ladies questioned weren't addicted, but they all knew "somebody" who was
3. Some have said that Coca-Cola, (The makers of TaB) simply put Tab in cans marked "Diet Coke" to make it more marketable to men. Do you believe that?

T. Possible

A. I've never tried Diet Coke so I couldn't say

B. I think Diet Pepsi tastes more like Tab
4. When TaB was "new and improved" did you notice any difference?

T. No

A. Well anything would have been an improvement

B. It was new and improved?

5. What, if anything, drew you to TaB?

T. It was the only diet soda sold in the pop machine at nursing school
A. It was either that or Highmore water

B. It was a fab, I guess

6. Kids in the 70s didn't want to drink TaB. Wasn't that an indication that something was "wrong" with it?

T. Yes

A. You got a point there

B. my daughter snuck a taste and yelled, "THAT'S YUCKY!"
7. If you had children, did any of them have birth defects caused by TaB?

T. 0 kids at the time
A. I never believed that by the way, and no

B. Not that I know of
8. Were there any side effects of TaB that I forgot?

T. A very bad after taste
A. I switched to coffee

B. Not that I can think of

9. If TaB made a comeback would you buy it?

T. No way!

A. You're kidding, right?

B. It'll never come back!

10, And now for something completely different. What's your favorite Johnny Cash song?

T. Ring of Fire

A. What does that have to do with anything!

B. Walk the line

Anyone who knew Cade's uncle, Jerry Hinkle, growing up could tell you that his blood was at least 52% peanut oil. That made Cade's allergy all the more painful. It appears the curse has been lifted. Congratulations Cade! You are a real Hinkle now!

If anyone in the Pierre area would like to help out the Holabird Advocate with their coverage of the people's business in the upcoming legislative session, feel free to e-mail our courageous, dynamic Publisher, Jerry Hinkle. Got a political bias? No problem! The other side will let him know when (or even if) you got it wrong, providing they read this Newsblog. It is may understanding that that sometime in the future, we might be able to get press credentials too (don't hold your breath). No experience is necessary, but if you are Nick Nemec or Curt Neuharth, we will put you name at the top of the application list. We have not salary in our budget, but we can give out stock options if it is desirable.

I just got done watching one of the funniest movies ever. "Drop Dead Gorgeous" is "Fargo" meets "The Miss America Pageant". The bulk of the action takes place in Mount Rose, Minnesota, (just down the road from Brainerd, don't ya know). The film is actually a mockumentery of a local beauty pageant. With very talented actresses such as Denise Richards, Brittany Murphy, Amy Adams, and Kirsten ($6 Burger) Dunst playing some of the contestants.

Kirstie Alley stretches her acting muscles ever so slightly as ahe plays both the director of the contest and mother of one of the contestants. This is Ms. Dunst's movie, however. Make no mistake about that. In fact I may have to upgrade her to the $9 burger. The movie was THAT good as was her performance.

If this movie is not in your DVR, see if you can rent it at the local Stop 'n Rob. better yet, go to Walmart and buy it at the 10/under section (what a bargain) I give it two thumbs up!

If you are a woman who would like to share your memories of TaB Cola back in the 70s, but you don't want anyone to know it's you, you're in luck. We are going to send an e-mail to anyone who would like to answer our query. A segment we're calling "Ten Questions with TaBitha". We will be picking out the answers we like best.

So far two women and one man have responded. The man, who we'll call "Troy" related that he used to amuse himself as a kid by pouring Coke on the sidewalk and swatting flies that gathered around (Ah! Sweet memories of childhood!). One day he grabbed a bottle of his mother's TaB by accident, and the flies wouldn't come. It could happen!

Kristi Hinkle picked up a stray cat some time ago. It's a small cat and but as big around as Garfield. Kristi thought she could have babies any day now. The kids named the cat, an when that happens, you know that they'll never be able to part with it. Darrel Hinkle was worried about the impending delivery until he got a look at the cat. On closer examination, he discovered Lola was a Tomcat. The kids are still waiting for Lola to give birth, and Darrel seems content to let them wait for the blessed event.

Our Publisher was listening to "Agra Talk" on KGFX this morning when he heard that a South Dakota company called Hemotec may have found a treatment for BSE, commonly known as "Mad Cow Disease". All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope this is so. Not because BSE is a problem in South Dakota, but because it would really stick it to that ignoramus Doprah Winbag.

In a totally unrelated story, there is still no cure for e coli in raw vegetables! It's a good day to be a PEDA member!

North of 40: The Balance of Nature
"You don't have to think fast if you move slow."
by Red Green

When you look back through history, there have been many examples of what I call the beauty and the beast syndrome. Cyrano de Bergerac, Quasimodo, Henry VIII, etc. I'm talking about the stories where a really ugly guy is going after a very beautiful woman. Now, at first it seems like a cruel twist of nature that ugly guys would be the most virile, but I don't see it that way. If you take a man and give him an over-active libido, and also make him good-looking, well, we all have a pretty good idea of what he's going to waste his life doing. So, in order for guys with overactive thyroids to lead productive lives where they make a contribution to society, nature makes them ugly. Women need to find them somewhat repulsive just so the men will be free to find jobs and join service clubs. On the complete opposite end of the scale, you have men with almost no interest in women. In order for them to have a chance to proliferate, nature makes them handsome. So, my theory on men is that the better-looking they are, the less virile they are. I'm not sure how scientific that opinion is. It may be largely based on me looking at my passport picture.

The Holabird Advocate got off to a good start in 2007. According to the Holabird Advocate Circulation Department, our little Newsblog had 71 hits on the first day of the new year. These hits came from not only Hyde County, but from far off exotic places like Mobridge, Gillette, Pasco, and even across the pond into Great Britain. It's nice to see that so many people wanted to start the new year off right with us. Hopefully they'll all be back again.

Our Circulation Department has also discovered that someone at the school in Oakes North Dakota is looking for Shorty Zilverberg of South Dakota. It was the Holabird Advocate that showed then just where to look. It could be that someone up there has a job for him, but all of us here at the Holabird Advocate think that the South Dakota rustlers keep Shorty busy enough.

Since hearing of the recent reorganization of the Western Wranglers 4-H club, quite a few folks have been asking about there stretch of adopted highway. Among those inquiring are Nick Nemec, Robert Hanson, and even the Department of Transportation. Darrel and Kristi Hinkle, leaders of the newly reorganized club, will tackle this issue as soon as the find out there this road is. Darrel's brother, Jerry Hinkle, thought the "Adopt a Highway" program was eliminated by Bill Janklow when gays, lesbians, and the KKK wanted to adopt any old road they could. Jerry was wrong! Imagine that! Well, it happens!

Since discovering I am not alone in the Hyde County blogging world, I am thinking about stepping up my consulting efforts. I may be taking on a junior partner for a possible spin off blog at a later date. A former Holabird resident whose opinions are hard to ignore. I will not divulge the name until the deal is closed, in case Mr. Harter signs him up first.

I'm also looking for women who drank TaB Cola back in the 70s. I would like to send them a set of questions for a "Ten Questions With..." segment. Names will be changed to protect the identity of the interviewee and her family.

There are some oddities. For example, Dr. Lester Grinspoon's Marijuana uses site has an essay by "prairie dog" about how to best view the local scenery. I cannot endorse his suggestions, but I will commend to my readers his description of the local scenery.
I may be the only Highmore resident practicing personal journalism on the web. However Hyde county does have a blogger of note, yclept Jerry Hinkle, who publishes The Holabird Advocate. A former Highmore resident, Rita Mosquita, nee Rita Sporrer, publishes Rita's Ramblings. If I've overlooked anybody please let me know.
And of course, if you are thinking of buying or selling real estate in Hyde county the very person to contact is our very own Lady of the Large Black Dog whose website is at http://www.realtordrinehart.com/.