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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Here She Is
Miss Nobody
Callee Bauman Follows Publishers Advice,
Promptly Gets Hosed
It looks as though Jerry Hinkle, courageous, dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate might know a thing or two about blogging, but when it comes to how to win at beauty pageants, he knows nothing. He told Ms. Bauman not to show her Belly button to the nation. And sure enough, tonight she didn't. that's because she didn't make it to semi finals. Of course, being tied for 11th place isn't too bad. Trouble was the ten women who did make it, they all showed the nation their belly button. Every last one of them.
Miss Oklahoma ended up winning the crown. Miss Texas, who was Jerry's second choice, ended up being the nations second choice as well. Texas has a lot to be proud of with that little lady.
Oh well, at least Callee Bauman still has her dignity. But she didn't even get Miss Congeniality, that's what really hurts all of us here at the Holabird Advocate. Jerry voted more than a dead guy in Chicago, and it didn't do a bit of good. At least she will be a good proponent for ethanol. Perhaps it was the oil companies that fixed this pageant.
Top Ten List
Top Ten Ways that the Miss America Pageant was not as good as it used to be
1. Before: Bert Parks; Now: Mario Lopez
2. Before: Atlantic City; Now: Las Vegas
3. Before: ABC; Now: CMT
4. Before: No belly buttons; Now: They're everywhere
5. Before: Miss South Dakota has never won; Now: Miss South Dakota has never won YET
6. Before: Dignity and class; Now: Vulgar line dancing ( darn CMT anyhow)
7. Before: Major event that all could watch just once a year; Now: nobody watches it, and they rerun the darn thing 39 times
8. Before: Miss America was a platform for celebrity; Now: Paris Hilton is a platform for celebrity
9. Before: Judges kept mouth shut and waved to camera; Now: Judges don't shut up
10. Before: Jerry Hinkle didn't give a crap about this stuff; Now: He gives too much crap

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