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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Thursday, July 31, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7V BRITTANY HINKLE LOSES FIRST TOOTH Earlier this afternoon Kristi Hinkle took her daughter, Brittany to the dentist in Pierre to get her infected tooth pulled out. Brit's permanant tooth is in place and ready to grow, and no further complications are expected. A fair amount of infection went along with that tooth, which Brit described, as only she could as "Gross". It is speculated that The Tooth Fairy will not give Brit the neccessary funds from the tooth to pay the Dentistry bill. NEMECS ACHIEVE ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE Mary Jo Nemec has proven that you're never to old to learn, as she has been accepted in the National Society of Collegiate Scholars and will be honored during a ceremony at USD this fall. This is an honor that recognizes first and second undergratuate students who achieve excellence academically, which apparently Mary Jo has or she wouldn't get this honor. Mary Jo's daughter Anastasia is no slouch either in the education game. Ana is mentioned in the National Honor Roll publication that also mentions E.E. Hinkle's great-grandaughter Britnee Kennedy. This is an honor forstudents higher that a "B" average, which explains why Jerry Hinkle was never in "Who's Who", not that he'd complain. He doesn't care about "Who's Who" he wants to know "What's What". THE MEN WHO WOULD BE PRESIDENT AND ONE WHO WILL NOT by Jerry Hinkle, specialk to the Holabird Advocate Once again the "Draft Hinkle for President " crowd has come to me. This time they have offered me, your courageous, dynamic Publisher, a goodly amount of money to become a corporate sponsor for the next two months. All they want is for the Newblog to run two polls. The first poll is to see how well I'd stack up to the other Democratic candidates. This poll will run starting in August and is open to Democrat's only. September's poll will see how I'd do against W himself. Neither I nor the Holabird Advocate are endorsing this measure. If, at any time I think the results of this poll are being tampered with by this group the whole sponsorship deal will be cancelled and all money refunded. The Circulation department will be watching this carefully. Long story short, this won't be like Florida in 2000. Wednesday, July 30, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7U BRITTANY HINKLE HAS TERRIBLE TUESDAY The infection that Brittany Hinkle has inside her festered up yesterday. She was vomiting throughout the day. Harold and Mary Hinkle brought their grandaugher some chicken soup. Brit could not even keep that down for long. Her mother gave her a dose of Amoxicillin. It didn't take her long to get back to her old self and start fighting with her sister, Shelby. That may or may not be a good thing. Brit goes to a dentist in Pierre to see about getting the offending tooth pulled and the infection treated. She is feeling all right today. JOYCE FERRIS HAS A SETBACK After doing so well Joyce Ferris is back in bed again. She said that she must have done something, but has no idea what that something is. There was a storm system that went through the area, dumping .18" of rain on the ground. That is when the trouble started. the storm passed, but the pain has not. Joyce has recieved a good deal of visiters during her stay at the Ponderosa Pines Old Age Assistance Home including Barbara Taylor, as well as Roger and Linda Wurts. Joyce has a doctors appointment in Pierre on Friday morning. All of us at the Holabird Advocate will be praying for her during what has to be a very difficult time for her and her family. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. WHIPPLE Today marks the 87th birthday of Dick Wilson, an actor best known as the uptight "Mr. Whiple" in the Charmin commercials that ran in the 60s and 70s. Wilson retired when P&G (Proctor and Gamble, the company that makes Charmin) decided the character had run his course in the 25 years they had done the "Don't squeeze the Charmin" campaign. Wilson recieves no money from P&G, but as part of the severence package did allow him a lifetime supply of toilet paper. PUBLISHERS NOTES by Jerry Hinkle The Vital Social Issues 'N Stuff Page of the Holabird Advocate has been full of a lot of stuff, but there have been very little vital social issues. To that end I have started the ball rolling with a thread concerning the reccession. Eventually I hope that at least one of the Readers will have something to say about this years South Dakota State Fair. Just remember should you decide to post on the forum page, keep it short and keep it clean. Monday, July 28, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7T BRITTANY HINKLE HAS ORAL INFECTION It was discovered at the clinic in Highmore that Brittany Hinkle has some sort of infection in her mouth caused by and abcess. She also has a tooth that needs to be looked at by a dentist, and possibly extracted. It is believed that Doc Boller may have missed something. Brit is feeling a little better. LURLEEN CHEATWOOD TO JOIN HOLABIRD ADVOCATE The Holabird Advocate is proud to Announce the Addition of famed Home Economist Lurleen Cheatwood to the Newsblog's Editorial Staff. Her column will be called "All around the House and Home". You can send any recipes or household tips you have to Lurleen at the home office's e-mail: captain11xxi@hotmail.com. Lurleen will start next month with her recipe for ice cream cake. VOL. II Issue 7S HOPE JOINS CROSBY Bob hope died peacefully at his home last night at the age of 100. Hope celebrated his 100th birthday earlier this year. He is being remembered all over the world today as a gifted comedian and a great entertainer. Hope joins his old partner Bing Crosby, this time "On the Road to Heaven" Several of those in the media will use the words of his theme song as a tribute to him, and now so will we. Bob Hope, Thanks for the memories. JOYCE MAKES BREAKFAST Usually Mary Hinkle makes breakfast for everyone at the Ponderosa Pines Old Age Assistance Home. Today, However, Joyce Ferris claimed she was strong enough to make breakfast. Mary was skeptical, but she relented because she as plenty of other things to worry about and do. Joyce did successfully make breakfast. She made so much that her father E.E. Hinkle couldn't eat it all, so he said he'd finish the rest of it at "Boost Time" BRITTANY HINKLE GETS SICK AGAIN For some unknown reason, Brittany Hinkle had spent the whole weekend sick on the couch. She was unable to eat because she would then vomit. Her condition is improving and being watched carefully. Her grandfather, Harold Hinkle, claimed that she should bring her to his place so she can get some rest, but none of his children remember resting there when they were sick at 6 years old. They were made to pull weeds, clean the pig pens, check cows maybe, but rest. Well, they may have found time for rest eventually. Kristi will have Brit checked out at the clinic in Highmore today to make sure she's all right. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Well, after an exiting soccer tournament Syney Goehring made it back from Canada last night about 11:30. Her mother Roxie said it was good to get back home, but they did have some fun. It was pretty hot at the soccer fields yesterday afternoon. Roxie claims there were temps that must have been 32 degrees centigrade. Sydney's team came away with third place in their age group. Congrats to Sydney! JAPANESE DISCOVER HOLABIRD ADVOCATE The Holabird Advocate Circulation department has discoved that a computer in Japan has logged on to the Newsblog's web site. Of this, Publisher Jerry Hinkle said, "If I knew how to say thank you in Japanese, I'd say if right now. As it is, I'll just say thanks to them this way. 'Thanks for logging on, I hope you come back again.'" Saturday, July 26, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7R PONDEROSA POPULATION GOES DOWN George and Mavis Kennedy made their way home Friday. It seems that Mavis decided it was time to go despite promising to stay for a week. For those remaining it was back to the old routine once again. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Because Summer time is fun time, Kristi Hinkle took her three kids Brittany, Shelby, and Justin to the Black Hills of South Dakota. The Pigtail Highway was scary for the group because of all of the old people with RVs taking up the road, but both Shelby and Justin enjoyed the Bedrock City Park in Custer. The vacation was cut short because the apartment that Kristi's father lives in doesn't have AC. Temps in the Black Hills area have reached from 109-112 in spots for the past few days. Sydney Goehring is becoming an international soccer star despite a broken arm earlier in the year that has since healed. Sydney is playing soccer in beautiful Brandon, Manitoba Canada. The weather in that area is wonderful so far. Her first game was sceduled for this morning at 9:30. She will play 3 games today. Sounds like an all day event. Good Luck Sydney Girl!!!! JOYCE FERRIS MAKES PROGRESS IN HEALING When Joyce Ferris got to the Ponderosa Pines Old Age Assistance Home, she was in a great deal of pain. She was taking meals in her bedroom and forget about that long walk to the rest room. She got off to a slow start, breaking a rib her third day, but she has proceeded to both look and feel better. She is able to get around slowly, she still can't lift very much weight. She will be going to the doctor in Pierre on the first of August for a check-up. Thursday, July 24, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7Q DOUG HINKLE VISITS GRANDFATHER It was a long time in coming, but Doug Hinkle finally managed to pay his respects to his 101 year old grandfather, E.E. Hinkle at the Ponderosa Pines Old Age Assistance Home. He brought most of his family, leaving behind only Jamie Pothast, who one suspects spent the night e-mailing friends to tell them how bored she is. He did bring his son Cade, who entertained everyone thoughout the evening. Jerry Hinkle gave Ashley Pothast another driving lesson until his nerves were darn near shot. She just won't drive careful like Jamie for some reason. Ashley then went to Mary Hinkle's computer to e-mail her friends about how bored she was. IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL Ashley Pothast was feeling very sad because he had a boyfriend that she calls "Hottie". His first name is unknown, but his last name is Roberts. At any rate, Hottie dumped Ashley because he thinks she is boring (obviously he's never taken this chick driving). Hottie has moved from Pierre to Highmore recently. We at the Holabird Advocate have reason to believe he will be in Tracy Lennick's class at school. Holabird Advocate Publisher, and concerned uncle, Jerry Hinkle, is going to try whatever he can do to get him and Ashley back together again. Maybe Hottie has a car that Ashley can drive. NO BIONIC EAR FOR E.E. HINKLE In her constant effort to help her father hear better, Joyce Ferris arranged for E.E. Hinkle to recieve the world famous Bionic Ear hearing aid. She got the one for the right ear as an expermint. He didn't take to it too hot, claiming that he hears the same. His grandson, Jerry Hinkle started testing his hearing by saying nasty stuff about Bill and Hillary Clinton, and he definately did not hear a thing, or else he would have spoken up right quick. It appears that the old boy will be going the rest of his life never quite knowing what is being said around him. As E.E. sees things, however, "I already hear too much stuff that I don't want to hear!". He pouted until Joyce removed the cussed thing from his ear, but still feeling it in there afterward. Wednesday, July 23, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7P EMORYMAS IS OVER BUT THE FUN CONTINUES The 101st birthday of E.E. Hinkle got off to an early start yesterday with the arrival of Mary Jo Nemec and her two youngest daughters. Mary Jo, as President of the Hyde County Farmers Union, presented the old boy with a certificate of honor. Holabird Advocate Publisher Jerry Hinkle missed that pesentation because he was babysitting his niece, Shelby Hinkle at the time. Mary Jo had the extra pleasure of catching up with Kelvin Kennedy, which is wife Donna did not enjoy at all. Donna need not worry though, as Kelvin and Mary Jo have 8 children between them and none in common. Kelvin and Mary Jo are both happily married, and not to each other either. Kelvin is a handsome lad though, for a grandfather. Agnes Hahn, Louise Moss, Mr. and Mrs. Howard Brown, Mr. and Mrs. Larry Nickleson, Andy and Tracy Lennick, Patrick Brown, and Mr. and Mrs. Jim Hoffman were all present later on that afternoon and evening. The excitement proved too much for E.E. Hinkle, as he went to bed at 7pm. he was wide awake and with it by 8:45pm, in time for phone calls from Sandy Soulek, Terry and Susan Kennedy, and Nadine Day. Ken Ferris, a card carrying member of the NRA, provided security, and nobody messed around with E.E. after Ken arrived on the scene. There were no terrorist incedents either. A new day made the occupants of the Ponderosa and there guests a little more laid back. Doug Hinkle, who was unable to come because he took his family to the Shrine Circus, is coming over tonight so he can see the oldest living Hinkle, and he is bringing his son, Cade, so other people can see the youngest living Hinkle. Because one cake and most of another was eaten yesterday, Mary baked another one. There are still five gallons of ice cream left over, so nobody had to go to town to get more of that. WORK RESUMES ON PONDEROSA Any doubt that the Ponderosa was a place of work was removed when Darrel resumed combining. So far his oats are testing at 41lb/bu. He brought a truck load into the bin which his brother Jerry unloaded with the minumum of trouble. Tuesday, July 22, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7O E.E. HINKLE HAS FUN AT 101 Today E.E. Hinkle celebrates another birthday. Every year on his birthday he relates the story of how his dad was working on getting ready to shock barley( a process that our Publisher thought involved electricity, but it doesn't) when he come knocking at the door. It is not known how many people will be hearing the story this year, but there will be quite a few of them before the day is done. Agnes Hahn and Louise Moss have been invited to the Emorymas picnic. Louise was pickled pink to be invited. Also expected are Duane and Kitty Johnson, the Nemec family, and possibly a few Zilverbergs. Kelvin and Donna Kennedy arrived at around 1:30 pm Holabird time in a manner so quiet that they managed not to wake Harold up from his nap. BRITTANY HINKLE HAS TOOTH TROUBLE Despite brushing, flossing and other good practices of oral hygine, Brittany Hinkle is having some kind of trouble with her teeth. Kristi is taking her daughter to Doc Boller in Highmore, much to the disgust of Leanne Hoffman, but Brit's not worried. "He's nice." she said, "We go to the same church." Her uncle Jerry told he to be brave when he starts using the drill. She replied. "His drill tickles my teeth". "A GOOD LAND" REHERSAL DISAPPOINTING by Jerry Hinkle, of the Holabird Advocate There was a lot of interest in the play "A Good Land" not that long ago. Some are wondering where that interest has gone. Not only have key castmembers not shown up for rehersals, or shown up late when they bothered to, badly needed extras have not been coming. Where is the civic minded spirit in these people? You know, this is a charitable purpose. The director, cast, and crew of this play are not making any money from it. Those few who are behind it, truly behind it, are being made to feel as though their effort is being wasted. This is a truly wonderful production, but some of the people behind it are slacking off. Does this mean we cancel? No, We'll just have to find people who want to do this. People who will get behind this show and give it their all. This is a story that needs to be told. If only there were enough people willing to tell the story. SADDAM'S SONS KILLED IN ACTION The U.S. State Department has confirmed that Uday and Quesai Hussein were killed in a raid on the northern Iraq city of Mosul earlier today. It is not known if Saddam was killed as well, but it really doesn't matter because he's died more times than a soap opera villian. PRIVATE LYNCH COMES HOME PFC Jessica Lynch was recieved in her hometown of Palestine, West Virginia with a true hero's welcome. She was wounded in Gulf War II severly enough to be wheelchair bound, but only severe enough to recieve a bronze star medal. Some have critized the media hype around the 19 year old soldier, but Jerry Hinkle, Holabird Advocate courageous, dynamic publisher, says that Jennifer Garner should play her in the movie. Monday, July 21, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7N PLANS FOR EMORYMAS UNDERWAY Sunday morning saw the nearly 101 year old E.E. Hinkle going to church dressed in his birthday T-shirt from last year. Just as Harold feared he would, E.E. got up to make a speech in which he invited everyone at church to come over to the Ponderosa, "To see how the Hinkles live" on Tuesday for his 101st birthday. It was at this point in the church service that Mary Hinkle started to pray. KENNEDYS ARRIVE FOR EMORYMAS George and Mavis Kennedy surprised the Hinkles by showing up to the Ponderosa yesterday afternoon. Mavis said she wanted to be put to work, so this morning she baked two cakes and after dinner helped Mary give Joyce a bath at the Ponderosa Pines Old Age Assistance Home. Kelvin and Donna Kennedy will be coming to the festivities as well. They should arrive sometime tomorrow, hopefully they will be there before all the food is eaten. PUBLISHER LEARNS ABOUT HOLABIRD ADVOCATE The present incarnation of the Holabird Advocate is the third such in the History of Holabird, South Dakota. Our courageous, dynamic Publisher has been studying up on the history of all things related to Holabird since preparing to make it and Hinkletown, Iowa sister cities. The first Holabird Advocate was created in 1883, 110 years ago, by A.B. Vines. In 1891 the concern was sold to a gentleman who changed the name to the "Hyde County Advocate" and moved to Highmore. It was later revived under the original title by 15 year old George W. Perkins. The second effort didn't last long either. Now in this century another Holabird Advocate has started. Instead of a business, it's more of a hobby. Instead of a newspaper, it's a Newsblog. It's not known how long this will last, but it's hoped that if we keep growing as is, perhaps this time the name of "Holabird Advocate" will stay around for a little while longer. In the meantime, keep reading. Saturday, July 19, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7M PARTY OVER FOR JERRY HINKLE The surprise party for Jerry Hinkle's birthday was pretty good, Harold and Mary did take him to the Lodestar as planned, but the surprise part was that, among other thing, his grandmother, Agnes Hahn, did not go along with them. There were a few Native Dakota girls that Jerry wouldn't have minded taking home with him. That is, until he saw one of them take a huge chaw of tobacco. That stuff can kill romance faster than both onions and garlic combined. Jerry had the buffet, but only ate 2 platefuls. That should prove that Thermochrome works. Before that, he'd fill a plate 3 or 4 times, sometimes more than that. Harold and Mary had the 10oz. prime rib. On the way home they stopped by to get eggs at Darrel and Kristi's house and found out that Brittany took sick, which just about killed the jovial mood that Jerry and the rest of the family were in. POTLUCK PICNIC COULD BE BACK ON The Emorymas picnic that was suggested for E.E. Hinkle's 101st birthday could realistically happen. It seems that Mary Hinkle, who thought such a thing would be too much work for her father-in-law has now decided that cake and ice cream isn't enough. With the old boys birthday on this coming Tuesday, the Hinkles better get their stuff together. Of course it is still unknown as to just who all will be there and who all will not. FUNERAL FOR DOC KENNEDY TODAY Mavis Kennedy has informed the Holabird Advocate that Doc Kennedy's funeral service will be at 1pm MDT in Newcastle, Wyoming. Mary Hinkle has told us that the reason he is called Doc is because he is a doctor, or rather was. His given name at birth is unknown, but we still offer our sympathy to his family at this time. Friday, July 18, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7L PUBLISHER CELEBRATES 36TH BIRTHDAY Even though Brittany Hinkle thought her uncle was 12, and Joyce Ferris thought her nephew was 27, Jerry Hinkle's birth certificate claims otherwise, since he was born on July 18, 1967. The celebration, if you can call it, that started early with Jerry recieving birthday greetings from his grandmother, Agnes Hahn, aunt Joan Hansen, and cousins Susan Geitzenauer and Dawn Blain. This morning he was given a breakfast of Texas toast, egg and sausage. For dinner it was brats and potatoes in saurkraut. Kristi Hinkle brought over her kids because oldest daughter Brittany wants to have a party for him. Jerry's mother Mary baked the cake, but his Grandfather, E.E. Hinkle supplied the ice cream, whether he knew it or not. This evening Jerry will be the guest of honor at a surprise birthday party at the Lodestar Casino. The suprise will be if he actually makes it to the casino, as his father, Harold, decided to defrost the freezer for no apparrent reason. That means no driver unless other arrangements can be made. HOROSCOPE FOR JERRY HINKLE Jerry Hinkle's psychic freind, Claire Voyant sent him this horoscope. We hope you get half the chuckle out of it as he did: Your Birthday Horoscope Friday, July 18, 2003 CANCER: Today should bring pleasant and profitable communications with women, and possibly some new friends. Social invitations may come your way, though there might be more than you can realistically handle. Be careful not to commit to too many activities - you could end up spreading yourself too thin. Travel to faraway lands may seem tempting at this time, dear Cancer, but don't make definite plans at this time. Relax and enjoy the company for now. BABY MAKES 3 FOR WURTZ FAMILY Isaac Brian Wurtz was born to Sam and Lynnel Wurtz of Sioux Falls on July 09, 2003 at 2:50 AM. Isaac tipped the scales at 6 lbs. 0 oz., and measured out at 18.5 inches long. He was delivered at Sioux Valley Hospital USD Medical Center. Isaac is the couples first child and the latest great grandchild of Agnes Hahn. Thursday, July 17, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7K DARREL HINKLE HAS FARMING ACCIDENT It looks as though Darrel Hinkle was not paying attention in school during Farm Safety Week. While working on his bailer, Darrel cut his nose open. He called his on father, Harold to take him to the clinic in Highmore for stitches. As it happenned he didn't need them. Someone at the clinic just glued his nose back together. Afterward, he went back in the field to resume bailing. E.E. HINKLE GETS A LETTER FROM THE GOVERNOR Governor M. Micheal Rounds sent greetings to E.E. Hinkle in recognition of his impending 101st birthday on July 22. He did not declare a holiday as the previous Governor did last year, but he was proud of the notice he recieved anyway. REHERSAL FOR "A GOOD LAND" SET Holabird's own Barbara Nemec, writer and director of the Hyde County Historical and Genealogical Society's production of "A Good Land", has announced that rehersals will begin with a very important one slated for Monday, July 21. Music will be rehearsed at 7:30pm and the all important Scene 4, the wedding scene, with Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, playing the Minister, will be put through the paces at 8pm. The play is scheduled to be performed on August 16-17. More information will be forthcoming when it is made available to the Holabird Advocate. EFFORT TO MAKE HINKLETOWN, IOWA AND HOLABIRD SISTER CITIES. During a recent visit from Dale and Darlene Verconde, the Hinkle family was made aware of a place called Hinkletown just down the road from their place. The town (population 20) has a website with lots of interesting information. The person in charge of the website, Dave Jackson, has excahnges information with Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle in order to make both Hinkletown and Holabird sister cities. It is hoped that all of Holabird will get behind this effort. Hinkletown's Address on the web is: www.hinkletown.com/ Tuesday, July 15, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7J E.E. HINKLE GIVES FAMILY ICE CREAM HEADACHE The upcoming 101st birthday for E.E. Hinkle was to be a quiet affair, with family and a few close friends, and darn few at that. For some reason, the old boy has gone crazy for ice cream, buying 6 gallon so far and telling his daughter, Mavis Kennedy, to but more if she can get a good price. Harold told Mavis that there is simply no room for anymore ice cream at the Ponderosa. GEORGE KENNEDY'S BROTHER DOC DIES Word was recieved that George Kennedy's brother, known as "Doc" has died. there will be more details on this story as they come in. All of us at the Holabird Advocate want all of his family and friends to know that we send them our most heartfelt sympathy at this time. SLOAN-KETTERING BIZARRE SEARCH TURNS UP HOLABIRD ADVOCATE Perhaps the most unusual search search that both MSN and our Newsblog has ever been involed in has involved the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. Someone involved in that organization was looking for "colonoscopy greeting card". That said, we hope they found one. We don't have it, though. Still no word from the Mayo Clinic on what they want to know about Darrel Hinkle. Our Publisher hopes it's an easy question. That way, whoever it is can be sure they have the right answer. JANKLOW NEEDS BYPASS William J. Janklow, the lone member of South Dakota's U.S. House delegation will be going in for heart bypass surgery a mere seven months after taking office in Washington. All of us at the Holabird Advocate were shocked that he even had a heart. Our Medical Advisor, Mel Practice M.D., suggests that when they put him to sleep, they look for signs of life in his brain. Our couregeous, dynamic Publiser, Jerry Hinkle, wishes to thank Bill Janklow for needing this operation. It's renewed his faith in God. Now if only Oprah had that brain tumor, all of his prayers would be answered. Well-almost all of them. Monday, July 14, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7I FISHERMEN DO WELL AT BIG BEND After three days of fishing, catching the limit every day, Proffessor Ken Hansen has decided to call it good. To cellebrate his good fortune, his mother-in-law, Agnes Hahn is having an old fashioned fish fry. A standing room only crowd is expected. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, was invited on the condition that he take a bath. He's still thinking it over at the present time. Dinner begins at 6, so he'd better make up his mind soon. NEMECS HAVE GREAT FUN AT FARMERS UNION CAMP Mary Jo Nemec reportsd that she and her family had a good time at Farmers Union Family Camp. The food was good. On the last night of camp there was a steak fry that included baked potatoes with all the fixings, garlic bread and fresh fruit salad. They were spent some time with Suzanne and Derek McCloud and got in some shopping. Stephanie Herseth was there and brought what was reported to be a "special friend". He is a congressman from Texas. Mary Jo was kind enough to ask around to some of the people in authority at SDFU office to see if E.E. Hinkle is the oldest SDFU member in the state. Hopefully her inquiry will be answered before too long. E.E. HINKLE'S BIRTHDAY WISH Celebrating E.E. Hinkle's brthday just got a little more complicated. He now wants all of those who are able to come to his celebration to wear the T-shirts that were supplied by Jauhn Hinkle last year. Anyone not in possession of said shirts need not worry as we are sure that they will not be turned away. As it is the only people who want to come are Mavis Kennedy and Mary Jo Nemec. E.E has laid in a supply of 2 gallon of ice cream, and may want to get more. HINKLES ENTERTAIN OUT OF STATE VISITORS Besides the Hansens, Harold and Mary Hinkle have recieved other Iowa guests as Dale and Darlene Verconde of North English came in yesterday afternoon with grandkids Kaylee and Dalen Verconde of Austin Texas. They have toured the Ponderosa, shot tin cans with BB guns, and looked at all of the livestock including cattle, cats, and the rabbit. No offers to take anything home yet though. Harold and Mary have taken their company to Chamberlin to see that area and are expected to be at Agnes Hahn fish fry at 6pm tonight even though none of them have had a bath today. Saturday, July 12, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7H HINKLE'S HAVE ANOTHER BUSY WEEKEND Harold and Mary are at it again. This time entertaining Professor Ken Hansen of Waldorf College at Big Bend Dam. So far they have caught a few walleye, one which was too small to keep, not because the game warden said so, but because Harold said so. They have also discovered that they get better cell phone reception on the water than they do in the campground. Professor Hansen brought with him is wife, Joan, and his oldest grandaughter, Claire Gietzenauer, also known as the Giggling Flash. There has been an effort to force Claire and Brittany Hinkle to get along. This effort results in more giggling and general noisemaking, which makes some people wish they'd fight and thereby make less noise. Jerry Hinkle has been left in charge of the Ponderosa Pines Old Age Assistance Home. His only two residents are not without their difficulty. E.E. Hinkle stepped outside to answer natures call, (he's still a country boy, ya know) and fell down on the grass. Jerry's efforts to get him back inside were met with heavy resistance. Joyce, meanwhile is behaving quite well. She doesn't complain about the food or anything like that. Her main problem is with her bones. This morning she cracked yet another rib tying her shoes. It appear that slippers would be in order for Joyce. Tomorrow is going to be another bust day for the Hinkles. Mary has the Methodist Church service, with potluck dinner and a board meeting to follow. After that it is the Methodist's turn to do the nursing home service, so she will be in charge of that. And if that isn't enough, Harold and Mary are expecting a visit from Dale and Darlene Verconde of North English, Iowa. They will be bringing along at least two of their grandkids (there better not be any giggling girls in that group) to add to the fun. The Vercondes will be stopping enroute to Mount Rushmore. OSKALUSA SELLS POST OFFICE It's been said that you can sell anything (short of a kidney) on eBay. Oskalusa, Iowa just sold thier Post Office building to a man in Chicago, Illinois for well over $200,000. For now the builing is staying put. INACCURATE PREDICTIONS Predicting the future is not as easy as one would think. In the year 1901, Wilbur Wright turned to his brother and said, "Man will not fly for 50 years." How wrong he was -- for brother Orville DID fly only two years later. It is not easy predicting the future -- and many "experts" have been proven wrong in their steadfast prognostications. Consider these other wrong-headed predictions that had have turned out to be not at all right: Thomas Edison in 1910 predicted: "The nickel-iron battery will put the gasoline buggies out of existence, and in 15 years more electricity will be sold for electric vehicles than for light." Albert Lewyt, president of the Lewyt Vacuum Cleaner Corp. in 1955: "Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will be a reality in 10 years. Darryl F. Zanuck, head of 20th Century-Fox Studios, seemed to think television was on the way out in 1946: "Video won't be able to hold onto any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring into a plywood box every night." Grover Loening, a consulting engineer for the Grumman Corp. one of the best aircrft design firms of the day, in 1944: "Gliders will be the freight trains of the air. We can visualize a locomotive plane leaving LaGuardia Field towing a train of six in the very near future." 'Electric cars will replace gas-powered cars.' -- Thomas Edison Friday, July 11, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7G BRAVENET WORK IS DONE Transition problems from the Bravenet service to the new Bravenet service are slowly coming around. They have caught up to Readers who logged on all the way up to today. One interesting development that the Holabird Advocate Circulation Department has reported is that MSN once again found us around then. This time it was for someone looking for "time difference in austrailia". NO PICNIC FOR E.E. HINKLE Mary Hinkle has declared that there be no potluck picnic for E.E. Hinkle's birthday. There will be a party of sorts, but at said party, there is too be no food except for cake and ice cream, no ballons, no dancing, no speeches, and no politicians. People outside the family are welcome to come if they want. All who do come out should be aware of a few things. Joyce Ferris is staying with her father and is not supposed to laugh as she has all kinds of broken and cracked bones. That must be why Mary is being so disagreeable. Harold, being unusually more compassionate than normal, Asked his father what he wanted for his bithday. The old boy asked for two things. He wants to go to a rummage sale (ON A TUESDAY), and he wants Mavis to come over and clean her lantern (Harold can't find anything dirty about it). This not withstanding, Mavis is expected to be at the Ponderosa sometime after July 19. CAMPAIGN 2004 STARTS EARLY FOR DASCHLE Tom Daschle, senior Senator from South Dakota, has started his reelection campaign early with an advertisment for a new bill he has created that will increase ethonal production to as much as triple the current rate. He has an uphill battle with his own party has both New York Senators Hillary Clinton and Charles Schumer against it. So is one of the Democratic California Senators. They are in favor of using MTSB, a Canadian fuel additive that causes cancer. If Daschle keeps up the fight, and gets it through, The Holabird Advocate just might endorse his campaign (unless he would rather we endorsed his opponent like we did Stephanie Herseth in her campaign last year). Thursday, July 10, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7F STORM BLOWS THROUGH HYDE COUNTY After midnight Wednesday morning a weather system brought strong winds, a little rain, and a lot of thunder and lightning into The Holabird area. Harold And Mary Hinkle were concerned enough about the 55 MPH winds to move closer to the cellar at E.E. Hinkle's place, waking Jerry and the old boy in the process. After a have hour, it appeared that the worst had passed, and they went back home. The next morning, everything in the yard was scattered around save for two objects. the first was a cooler filled with ice, the second, Shelby Hinkle's toy lawnmower. BRAVENET CHANGES THEIR LOOK AND OURS The new, but not yet improved, Bravenet.com has changed some of their services. The most noticable change is the Silver Sword of Truth on our Circulation counter has been replaced by "plain text". When our courageous, dynamic Publisher read those words on the Bravenet web site, then went to the Holabird Advocate's front page, he said, "Truer words were never spoken, Bubba!". The Circulation Department has had it's share of troubles too. According to Bravenet, we haven't had a Reader since December 31, 1969. Interestingly enough, that was before Al Gore even thought of inventing the internet. HINKLES LOSE FARMERS UNION SCHOLARSHIP As much as he'd like to blame Bill Janklow, Jerry Hinkle, as well the rest of his family have only themselves to blame for not going to the Farmers Union Family Camp on a full scholarship. Among the many reasons for this is they simply don't have time. In the next few days several relatives and friends will be visiting the Hinkle family. VEGETARIAN JOINS PITA Being a vegetarian is not easy in this world, as many who have tried the lifestyle can attest. I've heard of some such veggies that will eat fish, and some that will eat beef, pork, chicken, or pretty much any meat except fish, but won't eat fish. Enter Juahn Hinkle, of National City, California. His meat exception is grass fed buffalo. Grilling buffalo stakes qualifies Mr. Hinkle for PITA Membership. Juahn likes the fact that no antibiotics are used in the treatment of the buffalo calfs. The reason for this is, because the buffalo ranchers don't want to mess with the critters any more than neccessary. They aren't vacinated for brucellosis, either. Of course that doesn't effect the tasty meat one bit. Buffalo fanciers claim the meat is a bit sweeter than beef. It is a great deal more expensive, so unless you're made of money, you might not want to make eating buffalo a habit. WHAT IF THEY HAD A PARTY AND NOBODY CAME by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Several well meaning freinds, family, and neighbors have asked about Grandad's birthday and any possible celebration. A party would be in order, provided it was not on the Y1C scale of last year. Perhaps you Readers out there with nothing to do on July 22 may like to come over. I would encourage you to do so, providing you gave us a little notice. Perhaps we could throw an impromptu potluck picnic, something of that variety. We could even make it an anual event. Call it Emorymas or some such thing. Let me know what you think about that. Tuesday, July 08, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7E PLANS FOR E.E. HINKLE'S BIRTHDAY TENTITIVE E.E Hinkle was asked by his brother, Don, if "they" were going to have a party for his 101st birthday, which is on July 22. E.E., in turn, Asked his grandson Jerry the same. He replied, "I don't think so". Last Sunday at church the subject come up again. When Mavis Kennedy called her father, he was trying to find out if she was coming over to clean the house. Her answer was not exactly clear, but when Mavis talked to Harold, she told him that she and their sister, Joyce, thought they should "do something". Mary has expressed no interest in having a party because, as she says, "It's too much work." Any developments in this story will be reported as they happen. HOLABIRD ADVOCATE RECORDS 1700TH READER Earlier this afternoon, the Holabird Advocate Circulation Department reported that they have reached their goal of 1700 readers. The figure is the same as the estimated population of Hyde County. At first, it was hoped to reach that number by January 1, 2003, then by July 18. It appears that the celebrating can start anytime. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle said in a statement this afternoon, "This is just the beginning. I suspect that eventually we will have 700,000 Readers, which is the approximate population of South Dakota. Of course, that won't be for some time. Until then we'll just do what we have been doing." PETA PROTESTS THE RUNNING OF THE BULLS by Jerry Hinkle, of the Holabird Advocate The world famous "Running of the Bulls" in Pamplona, Spain has caused a great deal of pain to those brave, or some would say stupid, people who parcipate in the event. It also causes a lot of laughter to the spectators who watch the spectacle from the safety of there own TV set. Joining in on all the fun is PETA. Yes our lovable, but hopelessly insane, friends from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to think that the bulls are getting mistreated. The people getting chased, they could care less about, but those poor defenseless bulls are gonna get hurt. Of course, Being the courageous, dynamic publisher of this fine newsblog have figured out the best solution to this whole thing. I believe that PETA members should be among those being chased by the bulls. That way, they can make sure that no harm comes to the bulls from those nasty people. Perhaps they could even give the bulls a hug, to make them feel better. By the way 3 people were killed at this years running. The number of bulls: 0. Monday, July 07, 2003 VOL. Issue 7D PUBLISHER HAS BREAKDOWN THEN RECOVERS After a weekend of taking care of his grandfather, and other things, Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, was in a great deal of pain. His parents got back from camping, and then took Darrel Hinkle, and his family, to the drive-in at Miller. Jerry went to bed early and stayed there until 9 am. He then took to the sofa until 10:30am when he had breakfast. For dinner he had one peanut butter sandwich. He rallyed, however, when he heard that Buddy Ebsen had died. He was heard to say "I must publish a tribute to him, because "Entertainment Tonight" will be too busy gushing over "Ben and J Lo.", or "Brad and Jennifer" to do him justice". JED GOES TO HIS REWARD. BUDDY EBSEN DEAD AT 95 by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Christian Rudolph Ebsen Jr. was born April 2, 1908. He started in show business as a "hoofer", dancing with Shirley Temple and Judy Garland. He was to make "The Wizard of Oz" with Garland as the Tin Woodsman, but was alergic to the aluminium make-up used in the film. His voice can be heard in one chorus of "We're off to see the Wizard". He even took a turn as Davy Crocket's sidekick Georgie Russell in a couple of movies. His performance in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" caught the attention of Paul Henning, creater of "the Beverly Hillbillies" His portrayal of Jed Clampett showed not only his comedic talent, but his scenes with Donna Douglas as his Daughter Ellie May allowed him to show a tender dramatic side to his acting as well. He also starred as the title character in "Barnaby Jones". In 2001, Ebsen wrote a novel based on the "Barnaby Jones". Bubby Ebsen died of an undisclosed illness. He was 95. Saturday, July 05, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7C NEMEC PARTY AN ALL-AMERICAN EVENT Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle was fortunate to be invited to the Ed and Barbara Nemec home for what was a memorable evening a slight rainstorm did not put a damper on the festivities. There was not a terribly large crowd, but what it lacked in quantity was more than made up for in quality. Among those who attended were The families of both of the elder Nemec sons, Nick, and Victor. Ardis Aasby, Shirley Garrigan, and Alice LaFurge joined Jerry as those who were not Nemecs. Lively discussion topics as E.E. Hinkle's health, recent Century Club induction, and upcoming birthday,the recent Kevin Woster article, South Ameican roads, airplane safety, and Cody Zilverbergs plans to backpack through Mexico. Barbara Nemec instigated a patriotic sing along. Among the selections were "America the Beautiful", "My Country 'Tis of Thee", and the Star Spangled Banner". All were done without music, acapolco-acapella, something like that. What surprised Jerry was that the food that was served was not the usual fancy ham and baked potatoe that we in Holabird are used to, but grilled hamburgers and hot dogs, making Ed and Barbara PITA members in good standing. Of course it wouldn't be a Barbara Nemec party without punch. The elegant puchbowl was placed were it could be readily accessable to the thristy guests. And what says American Independence more than Chinese fireworks. The explosives had names such as "Purple Mountain Majesty", "Amber Waves of Grain", but curiously enough, no "Alabaster City" . Family friend, Max Wortman, got there in time for the fireworks display,which was supervised by Victor Nemec. After the display, the crowd thinned out and goodbyes were exchanged with the hosts and the guests. This get together has been an anual event. There have been a Parades as well, but not this year. A photo of a previous parade in 1968 was displayed promiently. Only in America, and in Holabird can a anyone be allowed to have that much fun legally. INDEPENDANCE DAY,WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN by Jerry Hinkle Special to the Holabird Advocate We Americans are realy something you know. We celebrate our independance from Brittian by watching Japanese men eat hot dogs, we shoot fireworks made in China into the air like Iraq shot anti aircraft missles over Baghdad, and we grudgingly sing the old patriotic songs just because we're told to. I'm not saying it's good or bad, just the way things are in this country. If we read the words of those songs and believe them in our heart, I'd say we really have something there. How many of us have even tried to read the "Declaration of Independence" past the preamble? How about the "U.S. Constitution"? Have we started living in an America where nobody but the Supreme Court know or even care about those two documents. I hope not. What we believe is important. Americans have fought and some of those died for a country that may not know what it stands for. I'm not telling you to do it, but please do think about it. After all, it is your country too. Isn't it? Friday, July 04, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7B AMERICA TURNS 227 While others take a day off to celebrate the freedom that we declared on this day, we at the Holabird Advocate have decided to put together a jam packed edition. Why do we do it. Well, there are the Readers to consider, but mostly it's because we had electric problems yesterday. Harold, Mary, and the rest left Jerry and E.E. Hinkle in charge of things at the Ponderosa. They are camped at Lake Oahe Campground 1, pads 20, 21, and 23. They planned on taking in the parade at Fort Pierre, the Capital City Band concert, and the fireworks display as well. They will be coming home Sunday morning because Mary will be in charge of the Methodist church service, giving the first of two sermons that Pastor Phil wrote for her out of the goodness of his heart. Jerry managed to record announcement of Century Club birthdays for July, and as suspected, E.E. Hinkle's name was one of the ten centenarians mentioned. he also managed to get a stuffed crust pizza in the oven for dinner. They got a call from Don Hinkle in California. Sounds he and his wife LaRayne will be going to the house of their youngest son, Juahn, to see the fireworks display of about 8 or 9 different towns in the National City area. Holabird will be "the" place to be this Indepedence Day, however, as Ed and Barbara Nemec are having a party to celebrate the occasion in grand style. Clearly only the very best of Holabird soceity were invited because Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, is on the guest list. Jerry and E.E. Hinkle are planning to go to Agnes Hahn's house for dinner tomorrow so E.E's Century Club plaque can be shown off yet again. E.E. hasn't been this proud of anything since he got a letter from Governor Frank Farrar back in 1971. NEMEC NUPTUALS NIPPED Bridget Nemec is not going to be married at the parental Ed and Barbara Nemec home as previously reported in the Holabird Advocate. Jerry Hinkle might have a chance with her, providing he's lucky and she's desparate. Actually she will be married at a later date, but we have a feeling that our courageous dynamic Publisher will not be invited to that event. HINKLE FAMILY OFFERED FARMERS UNION SCHOLARSHIP Mary Jo Nemec announced this afternoon that the Hinkle family has been offerred a scholarship to attend the Farmers Union Family Camp at Lake Herman next week. They'd better hurry up and decide, because camping spots are filling up faster than Rosie O' Donnell at a free buffet. MEMO TO THE MAYO CLINIC Holabird Advocate's Circulation Department has discovered that someone at the Mayo Clinic was looking for information on Darrel Hinkle at MSN. If this person would care to e-mail the home office at the following address: captain11xxi@hotmail.com our courageous dynamic Publisher will tell you anything you want to know, and maybe some things you don't want to know. FREEDOM ISN'T FREE by Rusty Limbaugh Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence? Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War. They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. What kind of men were they? Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners, men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured. Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his Ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags. Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward. Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton. At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt. Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months. John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't. So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid. Remember: freedom is never free! It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games. 'PARTYING' AND DRIVING: WHEN WILL THE LESSON STICK? By Kevin Woster, Rapid City Journal Staff Writer People tell me it's fun to get drunk. It must be. Lots of them do it. But from the outside, drunk doesn't look like muchfun. It looks hot and sweaty, disheveled and deranged. It looks like a bad case of the flu, or some sudden neurological disorder that diminishes speech, motor skills and, especially, judgment. Though I've never been drunk, I've certainly spent my share of time with people who were. I've seen grown men wet their pants, grown women vomit on their dates, otherwise reasonable friends pick ludicrous fistfights they couldn't win and, of course, married acquaintances sneak out of dreary bars with people they barely knew. Maybe I'm dense, but I can't see much fun in that. Drunk always looks dangerous to me, like an accident waiting to happen. Sometimes, of course, it does. That's how a Highmore girl named Jamie ended up dead last Christmas. That's how her friend, Scott, ended up in prison.Scott was driving drunk. Jamie died in the crash. There's nothing especially rare about that. A percentage of people have been driving drunk for as long as people have been driving. People have been dying because of it, too. It's always a horrid tragedy. It always devastates a family, stuns a community, forces people to look into the open grave of drunken driving and promise change. That change happens, of course. But, oh my, it happens slowly. As a people, we are infatuated with getting drunk-or, to use the popular euphemism, with "partying." It's just too much fun to stop, I guess, regardless ofthe costs. That was clear last weekend, as my wife and I enjoyed Old Settler's Day celebrations in her hometown of Highmore. I like Highmore. It's a typical, hardscrabble town in the mixed-grass plains of central South Dakota. Good people live there. Like the folks I knew and grew up with down around Chamberlain, Highmore people work hard, and they play hard. Sometimes they party hard. Throughout the Old Settler's Day celebration, there was sudsy evidence of the party mentality. It included the guy of about 40 who drained a bottle of beer as he rode down the town's main drag on a class-reunion float. That was 10:30 in the morning. But the full effects would take hours to appear. They were obvious that evening when Mary and I went to a local bar, hoping to hear some music and dance a step or two. It was early in bar time, about 9 p.m., but still too late to beat the cloud of inebriation. The place was packed, the people loud, the faces of many already far down the road toward their bleary destination. A man fell off his chair. Another teetered past our table, mumbling nonsense. Two women gyrated together out on the dance floor in a sweaty dance that, in a more lucid moment, they might have found embarrassing. The sign on the bar told part of the story: "FirstAnnual Beer-Drinking Contest: 5 p.m." Few things I see in a bar surprise me anymore. That sign did. I presumed beer-chugging competitions had long since passed through the bladder of time and into an ignorant history. We live, after all, in an era when breweries themselves promote "responsible" drinking. They operate Web sites like beresponsible.com and spend millions on advertising to discourage excess and encourage moderation. So, what were they thinking with this chug-a-lug thing? I called the bar owner a few days later to ask. She was friendly and open, and perplexed by the question. "It was just one can," she said. "We just had them see how fast they could chug one can of beer. We just thought it would be fun." Apparently it was. But if there was anybody in the bar who stopped at one, I didn't see them. I didn't see many Coke-sipping, clear-eyed designated drivers, either. What I saw was a fairly common bar scene: a crowd of semi-delirious drinkers inside and a fleet of cars and pickup trucks waiting outside to be driven home. You can find that scene in just about any town, on just about any Saturday night. But it seemed especially odd in Highmore, just six months after Jamie died and Scott's life changed forever. Yet there it was, another drunken night on the town, another accident waiting to happen. When it does, it'll be the same old tragedy with a new set of names. (This article was in the Rapid City Captial Journal on June 27, 2003. Some in the Highmore area were quite upset with Kevin Woster, one of "The" Wosters. Others in the area thought that it needed to be said and why did it take so long. What I thought is contained in our next article) MY LETTER OF REPONSE TO MR. KEVIN WOSTER by Jerry hinkle, of the Holabird Advocate Mr. Woster, You're article on June 27 has really got the Highmore/Hyde County area talking. For that, sir, I thank you. I am a Hyde County resident, but I claim Holabird as my home town, even though I went to, and graduated from dear old Highmore High School with your brother-in-law Grant. I do find it interesting, Mr. Woster, that you went into a bar and were surprised to see people getting drunk. I am sorry,sir, that you had to be a witness to such a sorry display. Had you and your family been to the Historical Society Museum, you would have had the chance to meet and talk to my Grandad, E.E. Hinkle, who was there showing off the plaque he received as a newly inducted member of South Dakota's Century Club. Grandad is a man that hates the abuse of alcohol more than you do, Mr. Woster. In fact, he is going to be 101 years old, and is already the oldest living Man in Hyde County. That, sir, is what you should have seen, and what you should've written about. And I'm sorry that you did not. As for Jamie's death, I dare say none of the residents of Hyde County have forgotten about it. Her's was not the first alcohol related death in the Highmore area, but I hope and pray that it is the last such tragedy we face. Maybe you're article will help people to think about that for a while. I wrote about Jamie's death in an article for the Holabird Advocate, A Newsblog that I publish in my spare time. I plan on publishing your article and this response to it. If you would like, I'll send you a link to the Newsblog and a copy of the article I wrote about that horrible day. I hope that you will come to the Highmore area again and as often as you can. When you do, please feel free to let me know when that is. I look forward to hearing from you. I know and have known your mother-in-law, Shirley, for many years, and she can help us get together and talk further. In the meantime, have a great Independence Day! Tuesday, July 01, 2003 VOL. II Issue 7A MARY HINKLE GETS NEW THREE PIECE SUITE A delivery van from Klocker's Furniture of Pierre went to the Ponderosa do bring Mary Hinkle a new three piece suite consisting of a matching sofa, loveseat, and reclining chair. Each is made out of genuine imitation cowhide that can be compared with the real thing if Oprah Winfrey ever decided to visit. The suite cost a jawdropping $4000, but then nothing's too good for Mary. To make room for it all of the perfectly good furniture had to be thrown out like so much garbage. There will be a suite warming at 5:30 tonight with tea and light refrehments. Hyacinth Bucket must be green with envy over Mary's brown three piece suite. STUPID CUPID STOP PICKING ON ME by Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Advocate It's only a mater of time before it happens. Another so called reality show. This one brought to us by Simon from "American Idol" (or as I call it American Idle). It's called "Cupid". Seems ol' Simon found this gal that he seems to think is good looking (I have 3 unmarried cousins who are better looking than she'll ever be). Simon's gonna give this major bow-wow a cool $1,000,000 dowry (not enough). To help this Uglo-American choose a sucker, she has her two best friends (each about as ugly as she is). One of the freinds claim, "We're gonna weed out the losers". The first time I heard that I shouted to the TV, "Start with yourselves first, (explative deleted)!". If this is what passes for quality TV, I'm gonna start reading books again. I think "Kane and Abel" by Jeffrey Archer to start out with. After that who knows. "War and Peace", "Moby Dick" anything but that. Of course there's another installment of "Big Brother" to look forward to. I may have to get a library card if this keeps up. At least there's no more "Star Search". If I have may say it'll stay that way. 
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