Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
VOL. II Issue 7A
MARY HINKLE GETS NEW THREE PIECE SUITE
A delivery van from Klocker's Furniture of Pierre went to the Ponderosa do bring Mary Hinkle a new three piece suite consisting of a matching sofa, loveseat, and reclining chair. Each is made out of genuine imitation cowhide that can be compared with the real thing if Oprah Winfrey ever decided to visit.
The suite cost a jawdropping $4000, but then nothing's too good for Mary. To make room for it all of the perfectly good furniture had to be thrown out like so much garbage.
There will be a suite warming at 5:30 tonight with tea and light refrehments. Hyacinth Bucket must be green with envy over Mary's brown three piece suite.
STUPID CUPID STOP PICKING ON ME
by Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Advocate
It's only a mater of time before it happens. Another so called reality show. This one brought to us by Simon from "American Idol" (or as I call it American Idle). It's called "Cupid". Seems ol' Simon found this gal that he seems to think is good looking (I have 3 unmarried cousins who are better looking than she'll ever be). Simon's gonna give this major bow-wow a cool $1,000,000 dowry (not enough). To help this Uglo-American choose a sucker, she has her two best friends (each about as ugly as she is). One of the freinds claim, "We're gonna weed out the losers". The first time I heard that I shouted to the TV, "Start with yourselves first, (explative deleted)!".
If this is what passes for quality TV, I'm gonna start reading books again. I think "Kane and Abel" by Jeffrey Archer to start out with. After that who knows. "War and Peace", "Moby Dick" anything but that.
Of course there's another installment of "Big Brother" to look forward to. I may have to get a library card if this keeps up. At least there's no more "Star Search". If I have may say it'll stay that way.
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