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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Saturday, March 29, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3R AGNES HAHN TO GO TO IRELAND It appears that Agnes Hahn may be going to Ireland along with Harold and Mary Hinkle. Ken and Joan Hansen were offered the same trip. As it happens, Waldorf College can't be without Proffesor Hansen for a whole week, so he suggested to Jo that she ask her mother to take his place on the trip. It must have been one of those offers you can't refuse, because she didn't. There still remains the detail of getting a passport, which is being looked into. AMERICA FIRST FOR E.E. HINKLE E.E. Hinkle has tryed to talk Harold and Mary out of going to Ireland and going to Alaska instead. He would feel better if they went there because the U.S. still owns Alaska, and besides that, as he says,"You won't have to drink so much water when the plane crashes". What the old boy doesn't seem to realize is that their hotel rooms are in Ireland and going to Alaska would kind of defeat the purpose. What's more, They don't drink water in Ireland anyhow, they drink Guinness. JERRY HINKLE ALMOST TURNS REPUBLICAN Last night Jerry Hinkle was at the Ponderosa, watching John Ritter and Peg Bundy on the tube, when a call came that disturbed the peacefulness of the evening. It was Democrats wanting money, his money. They asked for $35 which he turned down. Not 30 minutes later, they called again, asking for $15. Once again he refused. The second call was more of a hard sell approach as well. Talking about how bad the President is and all. They must not have heard Bill Clinton saying that we have to support the President in this time of war. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate think that the next time he gets a call like, he should ask them to buy a bottle of OPC-3 or Friction Free 3000. Kinda bring back the barter system. IGNORANCE ABOUNDS IN THE "WAR ON TERROR" by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Hard as it is to believe, Jimmy Kimmel told me last night that French's Mustard had to get on TV and tell the American people that they have nothing to do with the country of France or the French people. Patriotic American citizens were boycotting them because of of the "War on Terrorism". Good Lord, the next thing you know, teenagers will stop french kissing at the mall (which may or may not be a good thing). How about remembering that the reason the French are against the U.S. is because they do business with Iraq. And get a load of this. In the week just passed, Vladamir Putin, President of Russia as requested that the fighting stop now, nevermind that Russia has been supplying Iraq with weapons since the fighting started. Are we going to boycot russian dressing, or russian peanuts? Well, I'm not gonna drink any Russian vodka, I'll tell you that much. The thing that really hurts is that part of my family came from Russia back in 1884. Right now, I couldn't be more ashamed of that part of my herritage. I Thank God that, because Jakob Goehring left that place far behind him, I'm an American. At least we can be glad that we have Allies in this war that we don't have to boycot. Those Allies currently are: England, Spain, Austrailia, New Zealand, Bulgaria, Kuwait and Turkey. One more thing, even though Canada is not on board with us, I'm not giving up my Canadian aftershave. I love this country, but there is a limit to what I'll do for it. Thursday, March 27, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3Q PETA PROTESTS GULF WAR II PITA PROTESTS THE PROTEST Once again PETA is rearing it's ugly head. They have joined the ranks of the war protesters because of the use of dolphins in locating mines in the Persian Gulf. PITA is protesting the PETA protest. Jerry Hinkle, founder of PITA, in a statement this morning said "Unless PETA members are willing to go in place of the dolphins they should just shut up. Besides, dolphin tuna is tasty." GULF WAR II UPDATE One week after the fighting started, reports came in that when the Allied Fighting Force gets to Baghdad, Saddam has ordered that the poison gas attacks begin. Yes, Barbara Streisand, the same poison that the U.N. inspectors didn't find in Iraq. Former President Bill Clinton has released a statement urging all Americans to support President Bush and the American troops (Did you hear that, Micheal Moore?). Because the Allied Fighting Force has run into more resistance in southern Iraq than was anticipated, it is believed that the war may take longer that expected. Both parties in Congress are rushing to get the $74 billion support package for the war effort. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that, after all this effort,the Iraqis don't love us like France when the war is over. BLOGGER INTRODUCES "AUDIO BLOGGER" Introducing AudioBlogger! So, imagine this: You're driving down the road, chatting at a party, or whatever. You have a phone. You call your blog on the phone. You leave a message. The message gets instantly posted to your blog as an MP3 file for the world to listen to. Cool? On February 27 this is how "Audio Blogger" was introduced into the Blogger.com line of products. Our courageous, dynamic Publisher, Jerry Hinkle has stumbled across an actual audio blog on the Bloger site www.kevinsites.net/. Kevin Sites is a CNN reporter who was blogging from Gulf War II. He hasn't blogged since March 21. Jerry was impressed by what he did see. If there is an interest in expanding the Holabird Advocate into this field, we will certainly see what can be done. Any Readers that have MP3 knowledge may be asked to come forward and helpout with that project if it does happen, because we know absolutly nothing about MP3 technology. Wednesday, March 26, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3P AGNES HAHN GOES TO DOCTOR Mary Hinkle took her mother, Agnes Hahn to her doctor in Huron yesterday. It seems that she gained 3lbs. of water weight, and the Highmore Clinic appeared to be worried about that. Agnes's doctor then adjusted her medication and told her to come back in a week. It was not a good time for Mary to be away because she was watching Shelby and Justin while Darrel and Kristi took Brittany and her girl scout troop to an outing at the airport. Of course, it wasn't exactly a good time for Agnes either. Harold and Jerry watched the kids with the minumum of trouble. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan It appears that Harold and Mary Hinkle are seriously considering that trip to Ireland. In fact, Mary has been looking for good flight ticket deals in the internet. It's not exactly known where in Ireland they would be going, but it's believed that they will be within kissing distance of the famed Blarney Stone. E.E. Hinkle has decided that he would like to go to California to see his brother Don. He'd like to go by airplane because he doesn't trust Jerry's big city driving (he's never driven in San Diego and E.E. doesn't want him to "learn as they go"). Trouble is Jerry is afraid to fly (he's been that way since before sept. 11, which didn't exactly help matters at all). Jerry told his grandfather, "You couldn't get me up in an airplane if you had the Bush twins in a clothing optional hot tub on board". That seemed to settle the issue. GULF WAR II UPDATE There seems to be a lot of flack about Iraqi civilians getting killed. While checking the Human Shields web site to see if they left the country as per Saddam's request, we noticed that they were not mentioned. Instead it was all anti-war propaganda about the Allied Force killing civilians. As it happens, the Iraqi forces are the ones who are killing their own civilians. These are the people they should be defending. Some of these same civilians are being willingly "martyred" for Saddam. As we reported earlier, Saddam did ask the American "Human shields" to leave the country. Some of them did, most did not. It appears Saddam doesn't want them in his country either. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wonder if they have the guts to come back to America. Tuesday, March 25, 2003 VOL. II Issue 30 HINKLES MAY GO TO IRELAND Mary Hinkle's sister, Phyllis Ehlers, has asked Harold and Mary to acccompany her and her husband Larry to Ireland for the last week in April. The are considering it and are being encouraged to do so by everyone except for 100 year old E.E. Hinkle, who was heard to say, "If Bergit and I took every trip we were offered, we'd be broke right now". It's often been said of E.E. that he has money he hasn't spent yet, but he points out several people that spend money they don't have yet. He supposes that that makes it all even in the end. GULF WAR II UPDATE Congress has been asked by W for $70 billion to pay for the war up until September. An Apache helicopter was either shot down or crashed, depending on who you believe. It appears that the military brass would rather we think that the helicopters they issue the troops is so mechanicly defective that they crash before Saddam gets a chance to shoot them down. The exact number of casulties is fuzzy right now. There are some Allied fighters that have been taken prisoner. The State Department has demanded that the POWs be treated according to the Geneva Convention. Since POWs that Saddam captured in Gulf War I were not treated accordingly, so it would seem unlikely that Gulf War II POWs will be treated thusly. GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH by Patrick Henry, March 23, 1775. No man thinks more highly than I do of the patriotism, as well as abilities, of the very worthy gentlemen who have just addressed the House. But different men often see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope it will not be thought disrespectful to those gentlemen if, entertaining as I do opinions of a character very opposite to theirs, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve. This is no time for ceremony. The questing before the House is one of awful moment to this country. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery; and in proportion to the magnitude of the subject ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty toward the Majesty of Heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings. Mr. President, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and, having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst, and to provide for it. I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the British ministry for the last ten years to justify those hopes with which gentlemen have been pleased to solace themselves and the House. Is it that insidious smile with which our petition has been lately received? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet. Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. Ask yourselves how this gracious reception of our petition comports with those warlike preparations which cover our waters and darken our land. Are fleets and armies necessary to a work of love and reconciliation? Have we shown ourselves so unwilling to be reconciled that force must be called in to win back our love? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir. These are the implements of war and subjugation; the last arguments to which kings resort. I ask gentlemen, sir, what means this martial array, if its purpose be not to force us to submission? Can gentlemen assign any other possible motive for it? Has Great Britain any enemy, in this quarter of the world, to call for all this accumulation of navies and armies? No, sir, she has none. They are meant for us: they can be meant for no other. They are sent over to bind and rivet upon us those chains which the British ministry have been so long forging. And what have we to oppose to them? Shall we try argument? Sir, we have been trying that for the last ten years. Have we anything new to offer upon the subject? Nothing. We have held the subject up in every light of which it is capable; but it has been all in vain. Shall we resort to entreaty and humble supplication? What terms shall we find which have not been already exhausted? Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves. Sir, we have done everything that could be done to avert the storm which is now coming on. We have petitioned; we have remonstrated; we have supplicated; we have prostrated ourselves before the throne, and have implored its interposition to arrest the tyrannical hands of the ministry and Parliament. Our petitions have been slighted; our remonstrances have produced additional violence and insult; our supplications have been disregarded; and we have been spurned, with contempt, from the foot of the throne! In vain, after these things, may we indulge the fond hope of peace and reconciliation. There is no longer any room for hope. If we wish to be free-- if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending--if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained--we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms and to the God of hosts is all that is left us! They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. The millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable--and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come. It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace-- but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! SOUTH DAKOTA SONGBOOK DOWN BY THE RIVERSIDE Gonna lay down my sword and shield Down by the riverside Down by the riverside Down by the riverside Gonna lay down my sword and shield Down by the riverside Ain't gonna study war no more. (Refrain) I ain't gonna study war no more, I ain't gonna study war no more, Study war no more. I ain't gonna study war no more, I ain't gonna study war no more, Study war no more. Gonna stick my sword in the golden sand; Down By the riverside Down by the riverside Down by the riverside Gonna stick my sword in the golden sand Down by the riverside Gonna study war no more. (Refrain) Gonna talk with the Prince of Peace; (ETC) Gonna shake hands around the world; (ETC) Saturday, March 22, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3N GULF WAR II BEGINS WITH "SHOCK AND AWE" The Allied Force officially started the war with Iraq with a series of attacks designed to "Shock and Awe" the Iraqi people. These attacks, while not exactly making us at the Holabird Advocate stand with mouth open and exclaim "Shazam!" or "Well, Golly", like Gomer Pyle, USMC, seem to get the job done with some folks. Helping America with this war are England, Japan, and Turkey. The French must be helping Iraq, as they have been surrendering in the thousands lately. Most of these raids are occuring at night because of the use of the Stealth Bomber. You can see it in the daytime, but Stealth Bombers are harder to see at night than an Angus bull. It's not all sunshine and glory in this war though. Twenty of the Allied Force personnel have been reported dead or missing so far. That means 20 families have paid the supreme sacrifice for liberty and a terror free world. As time goes by, we must remember the cost of freedom. War coverage has not exactly proved to be a ratings bonaza for ABC, as more people were watching a repeat of "Friends" on Thursday night. Cheer up ABC, at least You beat the NCAA championships on CBS. It would help if you only came on when something new happened instead of rehashing the same old stuff. By the way, do you know the difference between Bush and Saddam? Well, Bush wants peace, but Saddam wants piece (piece of Kuwait, piece of Iran, piece of Turkey) HAROLD AND MARY HINKLE MAKE IT HOME After 13+ hours of driving from New Mexico Harold and Mary Hinkle got home late Friday night. There was nobody there to greet them as Jerry and E.E. Hinkle were sleeping peacefully. They were able to catch up on the two weeks of mail that was awaiting them. Much to Harold's disgust, Mary cleaned up the mess that her grandchildren made while they were away. Harold said, "I brought you home so we could loaf". To which Mary replied, "All you did while we were gone was loaf". When asked Why Jerry hadn't cleaned up the mess, he said, "I don't clean up messes I make. Why would I clean up after Darrel's kids?". What really upset Harold was that he drove almost 1000 miles in one day to see his grandkids and the only one he saw was Cade. "I guess he's my favorite, now" Harold said with a chuckle. ANOTHER SEARCH FINDS THE HOLABIRD ADVOCATE The Holabird Advocate's Circulation Department has reported another search engine has found a Reader of our Newsblog. this time it was Excite. The word in the search was "vlceks". Of course Vlcek's Food Center is the only grocery store in Hyde county and has been mentioned in this Newsblog twice. They were unable to find which mention brought that reader to us, we're just glad that it did. NEMEC ANNOUNCES ENGAGEMENT Suzzanne Marie Nemec, formerly of Holabird, now residing in beautiful downtown Sioux Falls, is to become the Bride of Derek James McCloud, address unknown but hopefully not to far from beautiful downtown Sioux Falls, Their Marriage is planned to begin on Saturday, May 31, 2003 at 3pm. The ceremony will be at St. Mary's Cathelic Church in Highmore S.D. with a reception and dance to follow the ceremony at the Hyde County Memorial Auditorium. The Bride to be is working at the State Pen. in Sioux Falls. The occupation of the Groom-elect is unknown at this time, but we're quite sure he's not an inmate. Thursday, March 20, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3M DESPITE ATTACKS WAR IS NOT ON YET In reaction to last nights unpleasantness, Iraq launched 40 Scud missiles at the American forces in Kuwait. Interestingly enough, these missiles did not exist in Iraq according to U.N. reports (did you hear that, Susan Sarandon). Said Scuds were taken down by Patriot anti-missile missiles. You may remember that the Patriot missile was credited with the Allies winning Gulf war I 12 years ago. The Patriot has came under some criticism of late as being either ineffective and obsolete. Ask our People in Kuwait how ineffective they are now. Todays reports include oil fields on fire in Basra, Iraq, which is visable from the Kuwaiti border. Saddam was supposedly on Iraqi television Thursday Morning. American intellegence claims that it could have been a double, and that it is likely that Saddam is either dead or in hiding. Thus far the only official casulty of the bunker attack, according to Iraq, is one civilian. American artillery is being fired at Iraq as we speak, yet the military brass insist that war has not started yet. If it's not war, we don't know what to call it. As such, Holabird Advocate Publisher Jerry Hinkle has decided to pull the current poll at noon today Holabird time. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan At this time of crisis, Harold and Mary Hinkle have decided to motor home this morning. They were not able to visit Marion Maginnis as some had hoped. Last night the Kennedys and the Hinkles went to a local rib joint in Green Valley, and the usually frugal Harold Hinkle paid the check. CALVING TO START ON THE PONDEROSA Last Summer,Darrel Hinkle had timed it so that cows would bring forth calves on March 20th. There have beem about 8 premature births brought on possibly by weather stress. There is no snow on the ground today in the Holabird area, even though E.E. Hinkle claimed to be stiff all over. So much for the "Big Storm of 2003". WHAT'S A MILITARY FAMILY WORTH? by Rush Limbaugh March 11, 2002 I think the vast differences in compensation between the victims of the September 11th casualty, and those who die serving the country in uniform, are profound. No one is really talking about it either because you just don't criticize anything having to do with September 11th. Well, I just can't let the numbers pass by because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country. If you lost a family member in the September 11th attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of $250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million. If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable. Next, you get $1,750 for burial costs. If you are the surviving spouse, you get $833 a month until you remarry. And there's a payment of $211 per month for each child under 18. When the child hits 18, those payments come to a screeching halt. Keep in mind that some of the people that are getting an average of $1.185 million up to $4.7 million are complaining that it's not enough. We also learned over the weekend that some of the victims from the Oklahoma City bombing have started an organization asking for the same deal that the September 11th families are getting. In addition to that, some of the families of those bombed in the embassies are now asking for compensation as well. You see where this is going, don't you? Folks, this is part and parcel of over fifty years of entitlement politics in this country. It's just really sad. SOUTH DAKOTA SONGBOOK THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC Music by William Steffe Words by Julia Ward Howe Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored; He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword; His truth is marching on. Chorus Glory! Glory, Hallelujah! Glory! Glory, Hallelujah! Glory! Glory, Hallelujah! His truth is marching on! I have seen Him in the watchfires of a hundred circling camps; They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps; I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps; His day is marching on. (Chorus) I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnished rows of steel; "As ye deal with My contemners, so with you My grace shall deal" Let the Hero born of woman crush the serpent with His heel, Since God is marching on. (Chorus) He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never sound retreat; He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgement seat. O be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on. (Chorus) In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea, With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me; As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free; While God is marching on. (Chorus) THE BATTLE CRY OF FREEDOM Words and music by George F. Root Oh, we'll rally 'round the flag boys, we'll rally once again, Shouting the battle cry of freedom; We will rally from the hillside, we'll gather from the plain, Shouting the battle cry of freedom. Chorus The Union forever, Hurrah, boys, hurrah! Down with the traitor, up with the star; While we rally 'round the flag, boys, rally once again, Shouting the battle cry of freedom, Shouting the battle cry of freedom! We are springing to the call of our brothers gone before, Shouting the battle cry of freedom, And we'll fill the vacant ranks with a million freemen more, Shouting the battle cry of freedom. Chorus) We well welcome to our numbers the loyal, true, and brave, Shouting the battle cry of freedom, And although they may be poor not a man shall be a slave, Shouting the battle cry of freedom. (Chorus) So we're springing to the call from the East and from the West, Shouting the battle cry of freedom, And we'll hurl the Rebel crew from the land we love the best, Shouting the battle cry of freedom. (Chorus) Wednesday, March 19, 2003 EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT What will go down in history as "three minutes over Baghdad" happened right in the middle of a very unfunny comedy competition on "Star Search". At about 8:33pm Holabird time, the city of Baghdad was attacked with possibly as many as 3 dozen cruise missiles, most likely Tomahawks, known for "deadly acuracy". The target, a bunker believed to hold top Iraqi leaders who were meeting in regard to the Bush ultimatum. As of now there is no word of success or failure. Officially the war has not started, and so the Holabird Advocate will still operate as it has. When Gulf War II actually does break out in earnest, we will try to sort out the facts and try to provide the perspective that our Readers have come to expect and count on for the past 15 months. Bare in mind the ancient proverb that the first and greatest casulty in war is the truth. We repeat that Gulf War II has not broken out just yet, but it is likely to do so at any time. Especially if Saddam and his sons were not killed in the attack that happened almost 3 hours ago. VOL. II Issue 3L THUNDER ROLLS LIGHTNING STRIKES BUT LITTLE RAIN FALLS The thunderstorm we were promises made a lot of noise. It was so loud that E.E. Hinkle heard it. Not much rain fell regardless of all the noise and lightning. It is not known how much rain actually did fall at the Ponderosa, because the rain gauge is missing. The snow catcher is still in place however. With a 40% chance of snow tonight, they may have need for it GULF WAR II APPROACHES With people all over the world praying for a peaceful solution to the stalemate between the U.S. and Iraq, a little more than 3 hours remain in the deadline that W delivered to Saddam and his family on Monday night. Amid all this, the people at "Entertainment Tonight" are worried that America may not see "American Idol" or "Star Search" tonight because of possible newsbreak interuption fromthe networks. All of us at the Holabird Advocate think that is the least of our problems. That said, Holabird Advocate Publisher Jerry Hinkle has expressed a desire to have Simon from "American Idol" working on the newsblog staff. "A lot of people don't like that Simon dude, But from what I've seen he's the only one on that show with a brain. Just too bad we can't afford him." AMERICA IS GOING BOYCOTT CRAZY by Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Advocate Should war break out I am more than sure that it will bring on some more boycots. A lot of celebrities and semi celebrities are getting flack for their anti-war stance. One of the Dixie Chicks (I don't know which one, but I'll bet it's the great big fat one with the big mouth) was reported to have said, while in England, that she was ashamed that W was from Texas. A statement that breaks the 11th Commandment for Texans which is "Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Texan". Makes me glad I only have 10 commandments to follow, as hard as that is sometimes. Tell me why it is that people are uposet when some ignorant big mouth broad spouts off about W, but saw nothing wrong with the same stupid stupid woman singing about killing a man by poisoning his black eyed peas. Now having said that, I have come up with a solution to this mess, in My own true courageous, dynamic style. How about changing "Goodbye, Earl" to "Goodbye Saddam". If the Dixie Chicks want to make us believe they are behind W and our fighting forces, that would be a step in the right direction. Tuesday, March 18, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3K HAVE YOU SEEN THE RAIN? Despite all the weatherman's prediction of rain and rain turning to snow starting Sunday night, Holabird has yet to see the snow and rain. The "Big Storm" they promised us seems to be a lot of hot air. They've changed it to a 15% chance now. As for all of you who may have taken your winter underwear down from the attic, don't put it back just yet, you may have need of it this week. Maybe now that we're at "Orange alert", we'll have a big storm of some sort. GULF WAR II: A SOLDIER PREPARES Colin Zilverberg reported Sunday night that they are in Tennessee He was in "real" hillbilly country from the sound of things. He did not know when he would be able to call again, hopefully in the next day or so. Many of those with Colin are fathers that have left behind new born children or babies that are due in a few weeks along with other immediate family members. Colin and the other single guys may look at this as being somewhat of an adventure that they volunteered to fulfill for our country. It doesn't seem like little Colin Zilverberg is old enough to go to war, but he is. With W giving Saddam 48 hours, from which almost 19 have elapsed, to get out of Iraq, all of us at the Holabird Advocate ask your continued prayers for Colin and all. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Harold and Mary Hinkle celebrated St. Patrick's day in style, eating corned beef and cabbage. They left all the other traditional customs such as drinking green beer and eating Lucky Charms with green beer instead of milk to the kids with something to prove. PUBLISHER'S NOTES by Jerry Hinkle Because of what looks to be shaping up as Gulf War II could happen at or around 7pm Wednesday evening, the current poll will be in effect until then or at such a time as the conflict ensues, whichever comes first. The standard rating poll will be in place for the remainder of the month of March, if, in fact conflict does occur. So if you haven't taken the poll, better make up your mind fast. So far, no surprise, we're running even. The Readers, much like the rest of the nation, are split right down the middle on this issue. Saturday, March 15, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3J WINTER'S NOT DONE YET, HOLABIRD !!!!! The warmer weather around Holabird has gone to some people's heads, causing them to put their winter duds in the attic. Well, ya better keep 'em handy. Monday's thunderstorm is predicted to spill into Tuesday with the rain turning to snow. The snow could last into Thursday. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Well if Harold and Mary Hinkle Found gold in them thar' hills of Arizona they haven't let it be know. They got back to Green Valley Thursday night. Once there Mavis and Mary tried their luck at bingo. No word if they struck it rich there either Harold and George were trying to unwind when the telephone rang with. George was greeted with the booming voice of E.E. Hinkle back in Holabird wondering why they hadn't called back home for so long. Mavis did call on Saturday night to tell E.E. that They took her out belatedly for her birthday on a pizza party. SOUTH DAKOTA SONGBOOK Here are some good old patriotic numbers to help you in the mood to support your country in this it's hour of need THIS IS MY COUNTRY This is my country! Land of my birth! This is my country! Grandest on earth! I pledge thee my allegiance, America, the bold, For this is my country to have and to hold. What difference if I hail from north or south or east or west? My heart is filled with love for all of these. I only know I swell with pride and, deep within my breast, I thrill to see old glory paint the breeze. With hand upon my heart I'm thankful for my native land for all I love is here within her gates. My soul is rooted deeply in the soil on which I stand ~ for these are mine, my own United States! This is my country! Land of my birth! This is my country! Grandest on earth! I pledge thee my allegiance, America, the bold, For this is my country to have and to hold. GRAND OLD FLAG George M. Cohan - 1906 There's a feeling comes a-stealing, And it sets my brain a-reeling, When I'm listening to the music of a military band. Any tune like "Yankee Doodle" Simply sets me off my noodle, It's that patriotic something that no one can understand. "Way down South, in the land of cotton", Melody untiring, ain't that inspiring? Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll join the Jubilee! And that's going some, for the Yankees, by gum! Red, white and blue, I am for you! Honest, you're a grand old flag! You're a grand old flag You're a high flying flag And forever, in peace, may you wave! You're the emblem of the land I love, The home of the free and the brave! Ev'ry heart beats true 'neath the red, white, and blue, Where there's never a boast or brag. But should auld acquaintance be forgot, Keep your eye on the grand old flag! I'm a cranky hanky panky, I'm a dead square, honest Yankee, And I'm mighty proud of that old flag That flies for Uncle Sam. Though I don't believe in raving Ev'ry time I see it waving, There's a chill runs up my back that makes me glad I'm what I am. Here's a land with a million soldiers, That's if we should need 'em, We'll fight for freedom! Hurrah! Hurrah! For every Yankee tar And old G.A.R. Ev'ry stripe, ev'ry star. Red, white and blue, Hats off to you! Honest, you're a grand old flag! You're a grand old flag You're a high flying flag And forever, in peace, may you wave! You're the emblem of the land I love, The home of the free and the brave! Ev'ry heart beats true 'neath the red, white, and blue, Where there's never a boast or brag. But should auld acquaintance be forgot, Keep your eye on the grand old flag! Friday, March 14, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3I SPRING HOPES ETERNAL Holabird's weather is warming up. Today's high could get into the 70s. Some places in South Dakota could see 80 or above. Some are predicting an early spring and putting away their winter undies. There is one dark cloud on this silver lining. A statewide "storm" is forcast on Monday for the South Dakota area. Exactly what that entails we have no idea, but we'll take it as it comes. THE SMART CASE FOR "AMBER ALERT" by Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Advocate All of America, including those of us here at the Holabird Advocate are delighted and happy that The Smart family have their Elizabeth back. Please all do remember that while you read this. I have always had this feeling that perhaps Elizabeth left her home willingly and did not want to be found. She said to the police herself that she ran away. I thought perhaps a boyfriend was involved. depending on who you listen to, I may have been right. One thing I do know is that this Immanuel is no Mormon. I know a few Mormons and they aren't anything like that guy. The truth is, we may never know exactly what he, his wife, and Elizabeth had in mind during the last 9 months that they were together. We can all still hope that she was more of a daughter than a wife to him. The Smart family has been lobbying for the "AMBER Alert System" to be Fedralized. South Dakota just got on line with a statewide "AMBER alert". I really don't know much about it yet, but I do know that AMBER had precious little to do with finding Elizabeth. As for how effective it is otherwise, well the jury's still out on that. My main worry is that AMBER will be activated falsly and we'll be looking for kids that aren't even missing. We may even get so used to AMBER alerts that we won't pay attention to them anymore. REALITY TV BITES by Buster Brock Threre are a lot of oxy-morons in the television world today. Like funny sitcoms, morning news, TV star Ahmet Zappa, and others. the biggest condradiction in terms is "Reality TV". Up until last night we had "Survivor's battle of the sexes". Yeah right, tell me that's not fixed. How about that "All-American Girl" show. One of the celebrities on this show is the "artist" former known as "Ginger Spice", who is Brittish by the way. I understand there will be another "Joe Millionaire" too. I think they ought to use Jerry Hinkle in that, of course he'd never go for it. They need to have someone who is really rich but acts poor. who lives in a run down house. There's a house not too far from the Ponderosa that would work nicely. Yeah, I could see getting a millionaire and all kind of gold-diggers in that house for a show called "Joe Millionaire". Come to think of it, that might even make a darn good sitcom as well. Sort of a "Beverly Hillbillies" in reverse. I'd watch a show like that one. Wouldn't you? HOLABIRD ADVOCATE REGISTERS 1000TH READER The Circulation department has reported that as of 11:00am Holabird time today we recieved our 1000 Reader. Holabird Advocate Publisher Jerry Hinkle was visably happy about reaching this milestone. In a statement this morning he said. "I'm totally loving it. This little newsblog keeps growing by a few new Readers everyday. I'm glad that new people are discovering what we do here. I just hope the Readers enjoy this as much as I do. We couldn't do it without them." Thursday, March 13, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3H ELIZABETH SMART FOUND ALIVE Just when Ameriica needed some good news for a change, kidnaped teen Elizabeth Smart was found alive as the result of some very observant citizens. Smith was taken from her bedroom window by someone who looked like the man, Brian Mitchell, also known as Immanuel, who was found to be with her when she was discovered. It has been widely circulated, but not confirmed that this man, Immanuel, who took her, was a Mormon looking for a "second wife". Other sources claim he was using her for a substitute daughter. Either way, she was seen wearing a veil at some sort of party with Imannuel and his wife sometime last fall. NEVER NEVER ON A SUNDAY The honeymoon may be over between Governor Rounds and the state legislature. It seems that Gov. Rounds is not pleased with some bills that were passed on the 40th day of the 40 day session on Saturday, because they were, in fact, passed on Sunday. The state legislature has long had a custom of "covering the clock" after midnight. As we understand it, that means that time stands still and Saturday's business really didn't drip into Sunday. Perhaps someone with legistative experience could correct us if we are wrong on that. Gov. Rounds contends that the State Constitution forbid's the legislators from working on Sunday. There has been no word on what prevented them from working the other 6 days of the week, however. The Governor and the lawmakers feel so strongly about this issue that they are willing to go to court to settle the issue. WE NEED A NEW GOOD "WAR SONG" by Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Advocate People in the USA have not exactly warmed up to the idea of war with Iraq. I think I know why. It's the music we listen to. In the days of WWI, patriot George M. Cohan, Who really was born on the 3rd of July, not the 4th as he claimed, wrote "Over There" which we'll have on South Dakota Songbook later on in this edition. In WWII There was "We did it before and we will do it again", "Johnny get your gun Again" and "We Got a Job to do". In the Vietnam conflict, there were songs like, "We got to get out of this place", "Give Peace a Chance", And "War!, What is it good for? (Absolutly Nuthin')". Needless to say, Vietnam was nothing like the other two wars. Then there was Desert Storm. Hank Williams Jr., whose composing style is nothing like George M. Cohan, Wrote "Don't give us a Reason" and several other songs featured on an album called "America (The Way I See It)". Needless to say America kicked major butt on that one. Maybe Hank'll come through for us again. SOUTH DAKOTA SONGBOOK -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OVER THERE Johnnie, get your gun, Get your gun, get your gun, Take it on the run, On the run, on the run. Hear them calling, you and me, Every son of liberty. Hurry right away, No delay, no delay, Make your daddy glad To have had such a lad. Tell your sweetheart not pine, To be proud her boy's in line. Chorus Over there, over there, Send the word, send the word over there-- That the Yanks are coming, The Yanks are coming, The drums rum-tumming Ev'rywhere. So prepare, say a pray'r, Send the word, send the word to beware. We'll be over, we're coming over, And we won't come back till it's over Over there. Johnnie, get your gun, Get your gun, get your gun, Johnnie show the Hun Who's a son of a gun. Hoist the flag and let her fly, Yankee Doodle do or die. Pack your little kit, Show your grit, do your bit. Yankee Doodle fill the ranks, From the towns and the tanks. Make your mother proud of you, And the old Red, White and Blue. (repeat chorus twice) Wednesday, March 12, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3G ZILVERBERG CALLED INTO ACTION As reported yesterday, the 147th Field Artillery was activated. It was stated in that report that this brought the "War on Terrorism close to home. We have since discovered that Colin Zilverberg, who grew up in Holabird is among that number. Colin and his unit will be leaving Wednesday, March 12th to report to Redfield and will be leaving on Friday for a base in the states. After training a couple of months there is the possibility of going over-seas. There will be a Community Send Off at the Miller Armory Wednesday, March 12th @ 7:00pm and a Mobilization Ceremony Friday, March 14th @ 3:00pm in Redfield. Let's keep Colin and all the other men and women in our armed forces in our prayers. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Well, they made a good effort, but Mary Hinkle refuses to laof in Arizona as well. Yesterday, E.E. Hinkle called his Daughter, Mavis Kennedy, to wish her a happy birthday. She told him that they even tried to tie her down to a chair. We hope that either Mavis or E.E. were just joking, but you never know. The Hinkles and the Kennedys are on there way to visit the Ken and Joyce Ferris at their claim and go prospecting for gold. They will be staying overnight in a nearby hotel rather than stay in the desert with Ken and Joyce. No word on if they are in fact going to be visiting Marion Maginnis while all three of them are together. DO YOU WANT "FREEDOM FRIES" WITH THAT by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate An act of Congress has changed french fries to "Freedom Fries" never mind that the fries were invented in Belgium. Yes! Leadership at last from our congressmen and women. We have a huge budget defficit, cattle and cattle ranchers starving themselves off their land, Gas prices getting higher than a San Francisco hippie, The Flag Pledge is still unconstitutional, But thank God the "french fry" problem has finally been dealt with at long last. I dealt with this french fry problem years ago. In 1986, when the French would not help us with Libya, I called french toast "Texas Toast" and I ate "Curly Fries" or in a pinch I called them "chips" like the Brittish do. Did I need an act of congess? NO! I can think and do things for myself. Oh, by the way, America dealt with Libya without the French and now Libya is not a problem anymore. Interesting thing about French perfume. I understand they call it Eau de Toilette, which means, I believe "From the toilet". Yeah, I want me some of that, eh. Do you know why French people don't like to swim? It's too much like bathing. Tuesday, March 11, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3F NATIONAL GUARD UNIT IN MILLER ACTIVATED The "War on Terrorism" hit pretty close to home when the 147th Field Artillery unit of Redfield and Miller was ordered to report for federal service. Members of the unit willl strengthen the 181st Field Artillery unit from Tennessee. PARTY FOR BRITTANY HINKLE BETTER LATE THEN NEVER Brittany's Hinkle's birthday party was late enough as it was, but the party was sceduled for 2:30 Sunday afternoon. Jerry and E.E. Hinkle were only the second and third guests to arrive, and they didn't get there until 3:15. Jerry was shocked to see that the only one to beat them there was Ruby Hoffman. Soon Jim, Ken, Amy, and Samantha Hoffman got there. So did Beth Aasby along with her daughter Ayden and foster kids James and Jasmin. Larry And Bonnie Nickleson aslo came to add to the fun with Andy and Tracy Lennick. Cake was served becuse people were tired of waiting for Doug Hinkle and his group to get there, which they did at 5 o'clock. E.E. Hinkle asked Doug if he was going to stay overnight because they arrived so late. Thier reason: Ashley had a hair appointment. After much prodding and what will go down in history as the world longest hint, Jerry finally took E.E. Home so he could see Bill Clinton on "60 Minutes". DISASTER AVERTED ON THE PONDEROSA Darrel Hinkle noticed a tom cat trying to built kittens in Harold Hinkle's house cat Precious II, who Harold raised since she was an orphan 6 years ago. Darrel rushed to the house, grabbed a trusty shotgun and blasted the tom cat good and proper. Now, none of us at the Holabird Advocate recommend using a shotgun as a birth control device. but in this case it may have been effective. We'll know in 63 days I guess. SPOTLIGHT ON HISTORY Today is Mavis Kennedy's 70th birthday. Mavis shares her birthday with a lot of folks. Andrew Lennick turns 18 today (better get registered with selective service there, Bubba). John Hoffman turns 29 today. Those who have to shop for him have our sympathy. It seems that he's so rich he has two cellphone numbers. The biggest celebrity to call March 11 his birthday is Lawrence Welk. Had he not died 11 years ago, he'd have turned 100 years old today. ALL QUIET DOWN SOUTH Harold and Mary Hinkle have not said too awful much since they made it to George and Mavis Kenndy's place at Green Valley Arizona Saturday afternoon. Hopefully Mary is loafing, or at least learning how to. They called Darrel last night, but Darrel has only discussed the contents of that call with E.E. Hinkle, who forgot what they said. Saturday, March 08, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3E PONDEROSA WELL GOES DRY It was a really interesting morning on the Ponderosa. Jerry Hinkle attempted to draw water for breakfast when he noticed that there was no water to be drawn. As it happens Jerry had some water saved up for just such an emerency. Darrel, who was unable to go to Spearfish last night after all, came over and he and Jerry were able to get the water flowing again. After feeding the cattle, they had to thaw out the water tank by the barn. Darrel then went home after that hard days work. It was very cold outside because of a wind chill advisory that will be on for today and into tonight. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Harold and Mary made it to Moriarity, New Mexico yesterday. At that point the journey of 1000 miles has ended, because they travelled 1002 miles. Now they expect to be at the home of George and Mavis Kennedy tonight. According to the computer program used by the Holabird Advocate, they will in fact get there at around 4:30pm today, providing they left at 9am this morning. SOCIETY: BRITANNY HINKLE TURNS SIX Well, the party will be a little late, but that's alright. Brittany Hinkle actually turned 6 years old last Tuesday, but her parents are hosting a party for the family at 3pm on Sunday afternoon. Brit will have a chance to show off her sparkly earrings that her parents gave her last Sunday when she got her ears pierced. Friday, March 07, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3D LIFE GOES ON AT THE PONDEROSA Harold Hinkle always expects a disaster whenever he leaves home for very long. So far things at the Ponderosa are going smoothly. Jerry Hinkle has had little trouble taking care of his 100 year old grandfather, E.E. Hinkle. In fact, the old boy doesn't care if all his children are down south. Harold claimed right along that he would be stewing the whole time when in reality, he could care less. Everyone is glad to hear that Mary had no trouble at the doctor yesterday. No new medications and no new complications for her. She should have smooth sailing for the time being. It's not known when, or even if the doctor wants to see her again. Meanwhile back at the ranch, Darrel had a little trouble with his 350 Ford 4 wheel drive Powerstroke Diesel (insert "Tool Time" grunt here) pick-up that's almost like the one W drives when he's in Crawford, Texas (Darrel didn't spring for bullet-proof windows and tires though). He called Jerry to tow him with the Chevy truck. Problem was, it wouldn't start. It wouldn't but his Olds Regency would. Yes, the little Olds Regency that he gets 32 MPG since switching to Friction Free 3000. pulled Darrel all the way into the front yard. It must have looked like a tug boat pulling a battleship. Jerry's car did get some damage to the bumper that Darrel claims he can fix. All of us at the Holabird Advocate belive that the tow job will play heck with his milage as well. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan At 8:20 last night Harold and mary called home to let the folks there know that they made it to North Platte, Nebraska, far short of their goal They did manage to get 315 miles from home before they stoped. The computer program that we are using at the Holabird Advocate tells us that they will be in Oakley, Kansas by around noon provided that they leave around 9:00. There is a Pizza Hut in Oakley, so they won't starve. That will make it 470 miles, almost halfway there. They will call again to report where they ended up tonight. Darrel Hinkle has decided to take advantage of the weather in Spearfish to go snowmobiling again. He is going with other people. He won't put a name to any of them for fear that their name would end up on the front page of the Holabird Advocate. Thursday, March 06, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3C VALLEY TOWNSHIP TO REORGANIZE At the annual meeting of the Valley Township Board, several important issues were dealt with. There were two resignations on the board. Emil Eckstien resigned as clerk, and Mary Hinkle was offered the position, and she is thinking it over. Peg Zilverberg resigned as tresurer, a position which will be taken over by Tim Zilverberg. Harold Hinkle, township chairman had recieved a letter from the county auditor pertaining to witholding of social security for township employees. This matter will have to be investigated further before any action is taken. HINKLES BEGIN "JOURNEY OF 1000 MILES" The first step has been taken in Harold and Mary Hinkle's vacation to the southwest. They have left the Ponderosa, headed for Pierre where Mary has an appointment with her doctor. Barring any unforseen circumstances, their destination will be Oakley Kansas. Holabird Advocate travel writer Hiram Gonagan will be keeping track of them for all of our Readers. WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT "THE IDIOT BOX"? by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Television has really become a factor in the dumbing down of America. Now I've never seen it but I've heard that "Joe Millionaire" really struck a nerve with some people. One report has it the the "Hero" of this show is a construction worker posing as a millionaire to get some "Golddigger action". If that's not enough to make you throw up, it was said that one of the herd of women that he had to chose from asked him what his middle name was and the moron had to think about it. I haven't heard of anything so stupid since I asked Peggy Jo Eckstien what her middle name was. That's right, I went right up to her and said, "Peggy Jo, what's your middle name?" Of course, I was in the first or second grade at the time. What's this guy's excuse? How about this for some reality TV. Ten "celebrities" are trapped on a Tyson pig farm in northwest Iowa and forced to work on it. I wonder who they would get. Of course it should be in the summertime, when it gets hot and really stinks the most. That would be an excuse for the fellas to go shirtless and for the gals to likewise use the (excuse the expression) bare minimum. Now I'd watch a show like that. Tuesday, March 04, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3B TOWNSHIP BOARDS MEET Hyde County has 2 organized townships, Valley and William Hamilton. Both are having their annual meeting today. Valley could be meeting for the last time. Longtime township clerk Emil Eckstien will be resigning his post. If a suitable replacement is not found, Valley Township may be forced to unorganize and all assets and liabilities of the township government turned over to the county. There are 6 households in Valley Township compared to 3 in William Hamilton, which has not announced plans to disorganized for whatever reason. Valley Township's disorganization is not a done deal. Something may be done to save her yet. BRITTANY HINKLE TURNS SIX Today is Brittany Hinkle's sixth birthday she will be the guest of honor at a party to be held from 3:30-5:00 at the Thunderbird in Highmore. The theme of the party is Barbie/Spiderman. Brit's grandmother, Mary Hinkle baked two cakes for the occasion and babysat for the birthday girls brother and sister. This evening Harold and Mary will bring Shelby and Justin home and present Brit with her present. Darrel and Kristi will have another party for Brit on Saturday, but Harold and Mary will be down south by then, as they are striking out for Arizona on Thursday. CALIFORNIA DISTRICT TO TAKE PLEDGE FIGHT TO TOP COURT by Michael Kahn of Reuters The California school district at the center of a legal battle over the wording of the Pledge of Allegiance said on Monday it will seek a stay of an appeals court decision striking the words "Under God" from the pledge until the issue can be decided by the Supreme Court. The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals last Friday affirmed an earlier ruling that the Pledge of Allegiance was unconstitutional, setting the stage for a Supreme Court showdown over whether the words "Under God" breach the wall separating church and state. Under the 9th circuit ruling, starting March 10 it will be illegal for schoolchildren in nine Western states to recite the pledge because of the phrase. California's Elk Grove Unified School District, where the legal battle over the pledge began, will ask for a stay of the decision while it fights the case in the U.S. Supreme Court, Superintendent Dave Gordon said on Monday. He added if the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals refuses to grant the stay, the district will comply with the ruling and not have children recite the pledge. Instead, the district will substitute patriotic songs, poems and other exercises. "We are asking the 9th circuit to continue the stay ... pending our request for the Supreme Court to hear the case," Gordon said, adding attorneys would ask for a decision by Thursday. The Justice Department had joined the Bush administration, the U.S. Congress, State of California and others in asking the 9th circuit to reconsider its ruling. A three-member panel had ruled 2-1 in a lawsuit brought by a California atheist who sued on behalf of his daughter that the phrase violated the separation of church and state because it appeared to endorse religion. Michael Newdow, an atheist, conceded that his eight-year-old daughter was not required to recite the pledge at her elementary school in Elk Grove, California, but said she was nevertheless hurt by having to "watch and listen." That decision sparked a wide anger. The liberal court was accused of taking a hammer to one of the pillars of U.S. civic society and bowing to political correctness run amok. President Bush called the decision ridiculous, while the U.S. Senate voted 99-0 for a resolution expressing support for the pledge. After the court on Friday stood by its June ruling, U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft said the Justice Department would spare no effort to defend the pledge. Monday, March 03, 2003 VOL. II Issue 3A CROP SHOW SPARSELY ATTENDED Saturday, March 1 was a beautiful sunshiny day. Perhaps that is why there really wasn't such a crowd at the Hyde County Farm home and Sports Show. Our courageous, dynamic Publisher, Jerry Hinkle went to the event by himself. He reported not having to stand in line at any time. He also reported that he didn't see any of his many relatives at the Crop Show. His greatest disappointment was not getting a pizza cutter at the Venture Communications booth. Among the exibitors at the Crop Show were The Coughlin's of Holabird. They were showing pictures of the calf shelters that they sell out of their home. They looked quite impressive and were very nicely photgraphed There was an afternoon "Cracker Barrel" with the District 23 legislators at the Crop Show that failed to pack the house despite having it announced 3 times on the P.A. system. Representitives Justin Davis and Tom Hackl as well as Senator Jay Duenwald, all Republicans, addressed the folks that did bother to show up. Issues such as the taxes that were proposed by the Governor to eliminate the budget shortfall, school funding, insurance reforms, wind energy, internet sales and use taxes, the sale of the state's cement plant that took place a few years back and road use issues. The usually critical Jerry Hinkle did find something good about this year's legistative session, and congratulated the legislators on making rodeo the state sport. Rep. Hackl reported that both Colorado and Wyoming tried to do the same, but they were prevented by the terrorist group PETA (not to be confused with PITA) from doing so. After the Cracker Barrel session was over Jerry commented that he was glad that there was someone in the statehouse younger than him. It gave him a greater hope for the future of the state. Perhaps the most shocking thing to happen at the Crop Show for Jerry Hinkle was seeing Brigette "the midget" Nemec. She is almost as tall as he is now. He was so shocked that he swallowed his gum. He'll have to stop calling her Brigette the midget, that's for sure. MARY HINKLE REFUSES TO LOAF Ignoring the pleas of her father-in-law, Mary Hinkle is as busy as ever. She has been working on another denim quilt, babysiting, and getting ready to leave for New Mexico and Arizona later this week. E.E. Hinkle has been doing his part. He has been doing his own dishes and being less demanding in general. The only loafing Mary has done was baking bread with her bread making machine. As for Jerry, he's been too busy to teach her how to loaf. besides attending the Crop Show, he has done dishes, fed the cats and bulls, and managed to come into the Holabird Advocate head office every day last week. THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR THE FUTURE by Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Advocate It is easy to lose your faith in these troubled times with war looming over the horizon, and people protesting everthing under the sun. The patriotism that was in this country earlier seems to be waning. There are even people who don't look at the American flag during the "Star Spangled Banner" at sporting events. They turn at a 90 degree angle in protest of this country. I suppose it's their right, but still, these people should go to Iraq with the "Human shields" if they hate the country that much. I can understand hating W, or Congress, or even hating me, but not the country. NOT AMERICA!! America is not perfect, but it is still the best country in the world. Our leaders are likewise not perfect. I didn't vote for W, but I sure support his decision to hold Iraq accountable. The protesters of this war that hasn't happened yet carry signs shouting "STOP BUSH". Not one shouts "STOP SADDAM". It does take two to tango. Doesn't it? This situation should scare me. It should, but it doesn't. My niece Brittany will turn 6 tomorrow. When asked what she wants for her birthday she said, "I want my very own flag so I can be an American". WOW! Where did that come from? It could be that apart from reading, writing and 'rithmatic, she's learning citizenship from her school experience. She starts her school day by reciting the Flag Pledge. The same pledge that is still unconstitutional in the People's Republic of California. After that pledge, I understand, She and the rest of the class sing "America the Beautiful". Brit does that whenever and wherever she sees the American Flag. Teachers like her Mrs. LaMont, Mrs. Krick, and Mrs. Nemec have done a great job with Brit and I hope several other kindergarteners in Hyde County. So yes, there is hope for this country. I intend to see to it that she does get her Flag. It won't be in time for her birthday, but it will be with her for all the birthdays to come. ANOTHER SEARCH FINDS THE HOLABIRD ADVOCATE Hotbot did it again. This time the query was "van tassel cemetary". the Circulation and Marketing Research Department were unable to see what article this search engine discovered to fit the search criteria. We're glad they brought us another reader. CELTIC ASTROLOGY-IS IT REAL We at the Holabird Advocate recieved this piece on Celtic astrology. the following is for our Publisher Jerry Hinkle and his 100 year old Grandfather, E.E. Hinkle. Read it and decide if you think there's anything to it or not. ELM TREE (the Noble-mindedness) - pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical. 
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