I thought your paper would like to note some of the changes over the past Century.
The average life expectancy was 47 years. Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub. Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles Of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower! The average wage in 1907 was 22 cents per hour. The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year . A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year. More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME . Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which Were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard." Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee was fifteen cents a pound. Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from Entering into their country for any reason. Five leading causes of death were:

1.Pneumonia and influenza

2. Tuberculosis

3. Diarrhea

4. Heart disease

5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars. The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!! Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea Hadn't been invented yet. There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day. Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school. Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health." ( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least One full-time servant or domestic help. There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !

It seems that former Holabird youth, Sam Smith, has heard the call to preach God's word. He wants to start out with a mission trip to Israel. Trouble is, it's gonna cost $2500. Christians have a chance to put our money where our mouth is. Jesus through the Great Commission tells us to go to the ends of the Earth, making disciples and baptize them. If there are any Christians there who will go to to another nation in the name of Jesus, more power to them. But if they can't go, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate believe that they should help support those who are willing and able to go. That's why we help to support Kassidee Kennedy in her mission. We're sure even $10/month would help out. We'll leave that up to you whether or not you have the call to donate to this cause.
In the News
Witnesses Tell Truth of War Incidents

In a hearing before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform on Tuesday, committee members heard testimony from Spc. Bryan O'Neal that the hero story of Army Ranger Pat Tillman's death in Afghanistan in 2004 was a "manufactured narrative" put forth by the Army.
Actually, Tillman, an NFL star who had turned down a lucrative contract offer from the Arizona Cardinals to volunteer for military service, was killed by friendly fire, mistakenly shot by fellow Rangers. That fact has been public for some time, but O'Neal's testimony charged that there was an initial attempt to misrepresent the incident.
Tillman's death came while the Army was facing another political disaster. The media was preparing to release reports of detainee abuse at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.
O'Neal, the last soldier to see Tillman alive, told the committee that he had been ordered not to tell Tillman's brother, Kevin, who was also serving in the military in Afghanistan, what really happened. O'Neal said that his battalion commander "made it known I would get in trouble, sir, if I spoke with Kevin on it being fratricide."
The official news release telling of Tillman's death reported that he had died while leading a courageous counterattack against enemy fighters in an Afghan mountain pass.
The battalion commander's superior officer, then-Col. James C. Nixon, previously told the inspector general of the Defense Department that he ordered that the facts of Tillman's death be shared with as few people as possible so that the Tillman family would not learn that information through news media leaks. That shaped the battalion commander's instruction to his soldiers.
At Tuesday's hearing, Pfc. Jessica Lynch, who had been captured in Iraq in 2003 by Iraqi fighters after her convoy was ambushed, testified that the media story of her going down fighting like "Rambo" did not reflect the truth either. Lynch was severely injured in the incident. She said that she never fired a shot because her gun was jammed with sand.
Likewise, her subsequent retrieval from an Iraqi hospital by U.S. troops nine days later was portrayed as a rescue, but in fact, there were no Iraqi fighters at the hospital to resist the U.S. soldiers. After the hero story emerged, Lynch said, the military did not correct it and the media spread it. Upon her return home, she was troubled that the "little girl 'Rambo'" myth continued to be repeated, especially while the true heroics of her comrades who fought bravely though the firefight until they were killed, received little attention.
"The truth of war is not always easy. The truth is always more heroic than the hype," Lynch told the House panel.
Congressman Henry Waxman (D-CA), chairman of the committee, commented that the federal government invented "sensational details and stories" about the death of Tillman and the rescue of Lynch. "The bare minimum we owe our soldiers and their families is the truth," Waxman said. Committee member Tom Davis (R-VA), argued that it was not the military but the media that exaggerated the Lynch rescue. He did not, however, defend the military in its handling of Tillman's death. About that, Davis said it was a "disservice" to have let "a myth outrun the facts."

VICE PRESIDENT Dick Cheney recently attacked my 1972 presidential platform and contended that today's Democratic Party has reverted to the views I advocated in 1972. In a sense, this is a compliment, both to me and the Democratic Party. Cheney intended no such compliment. Instead, he twisted my views and those of my party beyond recognition. The city where the vice president spoke, Chicago, is sometimes dubbed "the Windy City." Cheney converted the chilly wind of Chicago into hot air. Cheney said that today's Democrats have adopted my platform from the 1972 presidential race and that, in doing so, they will raise taxes. But my platform offered a balanced budget. I proposed nothing new without a carefully defined way of paying for it. By contrast, Cheney and his team have run the national debt to an all-time high. He also said that the McGovern way is to surrender in Iraq and leave the U.S. exposed to new dangers. The truth is that I oppose the Iraq war, just as I opposed the Vietnam War, because these two conflicts have weakened the U.S. and diminished our standing in the world and our national security. In the war of my youth, World War II, I volunteered for military service at the age of 19 and flew 35 combat missions, winning the Distinguished Flying Cross as the pilot of a B-24 bomber. By contrast, in the war of his youth, the Vietnam War, Cheney got five deferments and has never seen a day of combat — a record matched by President Bush.Cheney charged that today's Democrats don't appreciate the terrorist danger when they move to end U.S. involvement in the Iraq war. The fact is that Bush and Cheney misled the public when they implied that Iraq was involved in the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Iraq had nothing to do with the attacks. That was the work of Osama bin Laden and his Al Qaeda team. Cheney and Bush blew the effort to trap Bin Laden in Afghanistan by their sluggish and inept response after the 9/11 attacks.They then foolishly sent U.S. forces into Iraq against the advice and experience of such knowledgeable men as former President George H.W. Bush, his secretary of State, James A. Baker III, and his national security advisor, Brent Scowcroft.

Just as the Bush administration mistakenly asserted Iraq's involvement in the 9/11 attacks, it also falsely contended that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. When former Ambassador Joseph Wilson exploded the myth that Iraq attempted to obtain nuclear materials from Niger, Cheney's top aide and other Bush officials leaked to the media that Wilson's wife was a CIA agent (knowingly revealing the identity of a covert agent is illegal). In attacking my positions in 1972 as representative of "that old party of the early 1970s," Cheney seems oblivious to the realities of that time. Does he remember that the Democratic Party, with me in the lead, reformed the presidential nomination process to ensure that women, young people and minorities would be represented fairly? The so-called McGovern reform rules are still in effect and, indeed, have been largely copied by the Republicans. The Democrats' 1972 platform was also in the forefront in pushing for affordable health care, full employment with better wages, a stronger environmental and energy effort, support for education at every level and a foreign policy with less confrontation and belligerence and more cooperation and conciliation.Cheney also still has his eyes closed to the folly of the Vietnam War, in which 58,000 young Americans and more than 2 million Vietnamese died. Vietnam was no threat to the United States. On one point I do agree with Cheney: Today's Democrats are taking positions on the Iraq war similar to the views I held toward the Vietnam War. But that is all to the good.The war in Iraq has greatly increased the terrorist danger. There was little or no terrorism, insurgency or civil war in Iraq before Bush and Cheney took us into war there five years ago. Now Iraq has become a breeding ground of terrorism, a bloody insurgency against our troops and a civil war.Beyond the deaths of more than 3,100 young Americans and an estimated 600,000 Iraqis, we have spent nearly $500 billion on the war, which has dragged on longer than World War II.The Democrats are right. Let's bring our troops home from this hopeless war.There is one more point about 1972 for Cheney's consideration. After winning 11 state primaries in a field of 16 contenders, I won the Democratic presidential nomination. I then lost the general election to President Nixon. Indeed, the entrenched incumbent president, with a campaign budget 10 times the size of mine, the power of the White House behind him and a highly negative and unethical campaign, defeated me overwhelmingly. But lest Cheney has forgotten, a few months after the election, investigations by the Senate and an impeachment proceeding in the House forced Nixon to become the only president in American history to resign the presidency in disgrace. Who was the real loser of '72?THE VICE PRESIDENT spoke with contempt of my '72 campaign, but he might do well to recall that I began that effort with these words: "I make one pledge above all others — to seek and speak the truth." We made some costly tactical errors after winning the nomination, but I never broke my pledge to speak the truth. That is why I have never felt like a loser since 1972. In contrast, Cheney and Bush have repeatedly lied to the American people.It is my firm belief that the Cheney-Bush team has committed offenses that are worse than those that drove Nixon, Vice President Spiro Agnew and Atty. Gen. John Mitchell from office after 1972. Indeed, as their repeated violations of the Constitution and federal statutes, as well as their repudiation of international law, come under increased consideration, I expect to see Cheney and Bush forced to resign their offices before 2008 is over. Aside from a growing list of impeachable offenses, the vice president has demonstrated his ignorance of foreign policy by attacking House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for visiting Syria. Apparently he thinks it is wrong to visit important Middle East states that sometimes disagree with us. Isn't it generally agreed that Nixon's greatest achievement was talking to the Chinese Communist leaders, which opened the door to that nation? And wasn't President Reagan's greatest achievement talking with Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev until the two men worked out an end to the Cold War? Does Cheney believe that it's better to go to war rather than talk with countries with which we have differences? We, of course, already know that when Cheney endorses a war, he exempts himself from participation. On second thought, maybe it's wise to keep Cheney off the battlefield — he might end up shooting his comrades rather than the enemy.On a more serious note, instead of listening to the foolishness of the neoconservative ideologues, the Cheney-Bush team might better heed the words of a real conservative, Edmund Burke: "A conscientious man would be cautious how he dealt in blood."

In the year 2007, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?""Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system on the ark. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and Exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted For the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea.I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my Building crew. Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. "Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?""No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

"The View" Gets Better From Here
While all of us here at the Holabird Advocate were busy watching something else, alleged comedian, Rosie O' Donnell, announced that she will be leaving "The View". Our Publisher can't wait to see what Jimmy Kimmel has to say about this. Many other folks are singing "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead". Of course, this turn of events came as no surprise to Donald Trump. He has had it in for Rosie ever since she made fun of his comb over.

Rumor has it she's bucking to replace Bob Barker on "The Price Is Right". Should that happen, All of us here at the Holabird Advocate may just start watching "The View". Barker's Beauties are probably scared out of their minds right about know at that prospect.

"Elvis" Ministers to Michigan
Our Friends at the Dakota Radio Group Report that Elvis impersonator Greg Jaqua is an ordained minister who performs weddings as "The King". Jaqua has been entertaining as Elvis in the Detroit area for about a dozen years. He recently added wedding services to his portfolio. Jaqua says he was ordained years ago through the Universal Life Church, but recently renewed his license (one needs a license to do that?). He says he started doing weddings last year, when he heard about a couple who wanted an Elvis wedding is Vegas, but couldn't afford the trip. He's done three Elvis weddings so far.
As it happens, Jerry Hinkle, courageous dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate is also ordained through the Universal Life Church. This story has given him an idea that sounds better in his head that it does coming out of his mouth. If you don't know what that idea is, you haven't known Jerry very long! At least he isn't Running for President-YET!
North of 40
by Red Green
The concept of "last call" is a good one. It lets you know that the end is near, and if there's anything else you wanted to order, you should do it now. Here are some other times in life when "last call" would be appreciated:
On your car's gas gauge.
When the truck driver you insulted is making a fist.
When your employer is evaluating your performance.
When your wife is evaluating your performance.
When the grim reaper is in your waiting room.

It has been reported that Jerry Hinkle, courageous dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate will know for sure if he has been accepted into Dakota Wesleyan University soon. Several well meaning friends and relatives of Jerry's have been anxious to here about his admission status. So far it's a definite maybe. A representative from DWU will have a final answer for him as early as next Monday. Our Publisher has been informed that there is plenty of time to register for Summer School once he is excepted. If any of you Readers have connections with DWU, and would like to help him out, the time to do that would be now.

Being accepted into DWU has been called the $64000 question because that is the approximate cost of 4 years at that University. If the answer to this question is yes, the next question will be how to pay for it. Jerry still has that spare kidney.

It has been quite a weekend for Justin Hinkle. It was speculated that Justin had everything from the flu to strep throat. At the ER in Pierre, it was decided that he has an ear infection. He was given medicine in both arms and his rear end. Justin threw up on the way home, but has improved slightly since then. The hard part is getting him to take his liquid Tylenol. You'd have an easier time giving him a haircut.

Once again a birthday comes upon the Hinkle family. Mary Hinkle was born on this date quite a few years ago. Last year cousin Onie Neuharth correctly guessed that Mary was plenty-nine. Does that mean that this year, Mary is plenty-ten? Could be!

Mary actually shares a birthday with Lee "$6 Million Man" Majors. In keeping with that theme Mary wants her husband Harold Hinkle to take her some place that is expensive. So he'll take her to the gas station.

This year, Kaitlin Pothast has given up ice skating for dance. Her dance routine is set to The Ditty Bops song, "Sister Kate". She will be performing at the Riggs High Theater on Friday and Saturday night. Harold and Mary Hinkle will be going to the recital after seeing Cade Hinkle's soccer game. Jerry Hinkle hopes if he can't go along that somebody will film it so he can see if Kaitlin can shake it like a bowl of jelly on a plate. He may be late, but he'll be up to date if she can shimmy like Sister Kate!

On Monday, a student at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, Virginia , went on a shooting rampage and killed 32 people, all fellow students or teachers at the school. The shooter first killed two students in a university dormitory. About two hours later, he opened fire in a classroom building, killing an additional 30 people before finally turning the gun on himself and taking his own life. The body count makes this the worst school shooting in the history of the United States.
Between the two shootings, the shooter went to a nearby post office and mailed a package to NBC News containing photos, videos and an 1,800-word manifesto in which he expressed rage, resentment, hatred of the wealthy and a desire to get even, although much of what he said seems not tied to reality.
Although police responded to the first shooting, those killings were first thought to be a domestic dispute, and since the killer had apparently fled, no action was taken to secure the campus.
Law enforcement also responded quickly to the second shootings, but the murders there took place in rapid succession, and by the time police got into the building, the killer had finished his deadly shooting and had killed himself.
Everything that has since been learned about the killer indicates that he was mentally unbalanced. In fact, some of his teachers and fellow students had reported frightening or strange behavior on his part, and, at one point, he had been considered a suicide risk and had received some psychiatric care.
Because he had submitted to the mental health care voluntarily, there was nothing on his record to prevent him from purchasing two handguns legality, which he did. He used at least one of those guns the campus shootings.

The tragedy appears to be reigniting the debate about gun control.

Keloland and several other media outlets have reported a pretty much nationwide copycat movement going on as well. A Rapid City teen was arrested yesterday for making a false report of a man with a gun near Central High School. It turned out to be untrue, just like many of the incidents reported after the campus killings at Virginia Tech. Since the shootings Monday, schools all over the U.S. have been dealing with threats, some even referencing the massacre at Virginia Tech. Notes threatening more shootings were found in high schools in Louisiana and Montana, and another was found on a college campus in Texas. Graffiti in a university restroom in Washington state promised a scene similar to the Virginia killings. A telephone bomb threat was reported in Tennessee, as was a threatening e-mail at an Arizona college. Authorities say some of these could have turned into dangerous situations, while others were simply hoaxes. Experts have said that all of these threats, real or perceived, have a lot to do with TV news coverage of the event, especially if it's viewed by someone looking for attention. Some other incidents were reported, but they were the result of people being extra-cautious. In Fargo, 7 NDSU buildings were evacuated after an abandoned duffel bag was found on campus. A man carrying a "suspicious object" was stopped by police at the University of Oklahoma. As it turned out, it was an umbrella. A college prep school in Michigan was on lock down after officials reported seeing a man dressed as a woman hanging around a school drop-off area. A person that was never found. Media coverage of this event has died down a little and we're back to the real hard news issues of the day, like Anna Nicole Smith's baby and her new Daddy.

The Holabird Advocate will be trying out "Open Line Friday" tomorrow. That is, unless nobody wishes to voice their opinion. If any Reader has something to say, even if they disagree with our Publisher, will be more than welcome to a spot on the Front Page. The only thing we ask is no profanity be used.

Also on Saturday, we plan to introduce a new segment called "In the News" It will feature a news story that may or may not have been reported in the mainstream media. It will be a must read for any student in a current events class. If you don't know what the first story is, you haven't been watching the news anyway!

At least this story gets us off the subject of Don Imus. If only he had said those ladies looked like "Republican politicians" instead of what he did call them. At least they forgave him. Who knows, they may help him with his charitable work.

The home office received a graduation announcement from Ms. Erin Nemec. Her graduation photo was tastefully done, without the usual tattoos and belly button rings that we've come to expect with Generation Why. She didn't pose with her baby either (she doesn't have one, which could be the reason). all kidding aside we are proud that Erin is getting ready to escape the hallowed halls of Highmore High School to put what she has learned to the test in the outside world. It wouldn't surprise us if she made Valedictorian, given that her Senior Spotlight profile tells us that her favorite sports team is the Holabird Hollyhocks. Quite an astute mind she has. Erin is bound to go far. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that she will come back from time to time.

My wife has an irritating habit. Ordinarily I'd be hesitant to say anything, but I've hidden her glasses, so she'll never read this. These days, she wears glasses for the odd time when she wants to actually see something. She even has bifocals, which as far as I can tell, are the optician's way of turning a flight of stairs into an adventure. When she doesn't have her glasses handy, that still will not deter her. She will pick up a cell phone, a TV remote or step up to a microwave oven and, even though she can't make out any of the words or numbers, she'll just start pressing buttons randomly until something happens. That's why there are bits of pork chop welded to the inside walls of the microwave, and why my cell phone plays God Save the Queen every time I get a call, and why our TV has French subtitles on every program. I don't get mad. I just smile and quietly give thanks that she doesn't work at NASA.

Saturday the 14th was Hunter's 9th birthday! We had a pretty big party for him the week before and he spent this Saturday with his dad and their family. It seems unbelievable that a year ago we were having Hunter's birthday party along with his "end of chemo" party. April 12th, 2006 was the last day he received chemotherapy through the Port-a-cath in his chest. I asked him what he remembers from his birthday last year and he instantly says, "My big party.. oh yeah.. and the fishing pole from Teresa, Mandy, or Alan. I can't remember who gave it to me!" Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to those of you that have continued to ask about how he is doing. And thank you all for the support you gave us when we needed it most!This is a picture of Hunter riding the one of the ponies at the circus just a week ago. He's the one wearing the brown shirt!!! Not the greatest picture but I took it with my cell phone from the balcony of the Huron Arena.

Kristi Hinkle took Brittany, Shelby and Justin Hinkle to the Shine Circus in Huron. They had their fill of cotton candy, popcorn, fun and assorted nonsense. Justin really enjoyed the monkey wearing a diaper, although Shelby claims it was just underwear. An unusually brave Justin wanted an elephant ride as well ($10 each). Kristi explained that they could either go to Burger King or ride the elephant. The girls out-voted Justin. Cheer up good buddy! There's always next year. Maybe by then you'll have enough money saved up.

The 4th grade in the Hyde School District is doing power points of South Dakota History. Brittany Hinkle is doing a report of her family history with pictures going back several generations. Several long forgotten family scandals and closet skeletons such as name changes, adultery and so forth are being brought up again. As E.E. Hinkle might say, "I hope this learns her something." One thing to us that came as big news is that the Van Tassel branch of Brits family go all the way back to Sleepy Hollow, New York. She may even be a great-great-great-great grandaughter to the Headless Horseman. On the Hinkle side, Brit is a descendant of James Chilton from the Mayflower Pilgrims. The report is not going that far back, however. This could be a neat little deal when everything is all said and done.

Don Hinkle called the Ponderosa to let his nephew, Harold Hinkle, know that Howard Brown's wife, Tudy Brown, had no sooner got home from a family funeral when she was taken ill. Howard doesn't like to drive at night, so the ambulance was called. Tudy's appendix had burst and peritonitis was setting in. Antibiotics saved the day! As it turns out, they saved her life as well. Don's wife, LaRayne Hinkle is Howard's much younger sister.

Highmore Meeting Gets Bigger
Our Publisher worked as an enumerator for the Census Bureau a few years back. It appears someone with those counting skills is badly needed to figure out how many people showed up to the public meeting last Thursday night. Figures from 300 to 400 have been floating around the various media outlets. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that Mary Ann Morford at the Highmore Herald can give us an accurate count. Everyone who attended was called upon to sign their name. Assuming that everyone did, and assuming that nobody wrote names of people who were not in attendance, that list should give us a clue.

Yesterday's date has a connotation of bad luck and fornicating teenagers getting murdered at some lake. Well the Hinkles don't believe in luck. Doctor Phil is fond of saying, "The more I work, the luckier I get!" Jerry Hinkle's response is "The more I pray, the luckier I get!".

We don't know if it's prayer, work, or good or bad luck, but Darrel Hinkle had 13 calves yesterday on Friday the 13th. So far calving has been as easy as Hebrew women giving birth in the time of Moses. The only trouble Darrel has had is getting stuck in the mud, but that was today. All of us here at the Holabird advocate don't know for sure if we make our own luch or if God makes it for you. We do know that Friday the 13th is just another day.
Danielle Kline Has Second Time Around
George and Mavis Kennedy left their Winter home in Arizona to attend the wedding of their Granddaughter, Danielle Kline, to a guy named Justin (last name furnished on request). This is not the first time Dani has said "I Do" or whatever passed for vows these days. But as always, All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope it's the last time.
Nobody around here seems to remember if E.E. Hinkle was there for the first time she was married, but we are quite sure he will be there in spirit this time regardless. One point in her favor is that she waited until she was 29 to get married this time. Somehow, we think the old boy would approve.
Of course, as we've said before, getting married is easy! Staying married is the hard part. This is the second time around for both Dani and Justin. Dani has 2 girls from her first time out, and he has 2 boys. Do you suppose Justin's last name is Brady? Well, Dani is a lovely lady, almost as lovely as her Grandma Mavis. As for her daughters' hair color or curliness of same, we can only guess. we do know that somehow this group will form a family. Good luck kids! Send Pictures when you can!
Kassidee Czechs out the Wedding
Dani Kline's sister Kassidee Kennedy came from her home at Prague in the Czech Republic to see the nuptials commence this afternoon in Spearfish, South Dakota. Had the Hinkle's known she was coming, they would have made an extra effort to make the trip out west. We'll bet that sure makes Dani feel really good, but then that's life.

Kassidee will be back in the USA sometime this Summer. About the time Harold and Mary Hinkle go to Europe. Jerry Hinkle will have to come over about that time, providing he can find a good motel. He will also have to find the keys to his car if Harold doesn't give them up. Cheer up, Jerry! There's always the Greyhound Bus! Hopefully jury duty will be done as well.

Tamera Peterson is getting married sometime next month. She and her then husband will be moving from Cheyenne, Wyoming to Des Monies, Iowa by way of Waikiki Beach, Hawaii. Nice work if you can get it! We'd love picture of that as well! Mostly the middle part.

The latest Pollmaster General question has not yielded a definite answer. Of those who took part, 44% want our little Newsblog to be a part of the fight to save the Hyde county FSA Office. Another 25% would rather let someone else fight for Highmore. The rest believe we should wait until we are asked before we give and assistance. Our Publisher has decided to be objective and try to look at this issue from both sides. That's why we just can't wait for Open Line Friday! Hopefully we'll have something to publish by then!

This morning, The Dakota Radio Group reported that after some study, Cutler sent this plan to Washington, D.C., which proposes closing FSA offices in Dupree, Timber Lake, Kadoka, White River, Highmore, Woonsocket and Mound City. Since Cutler’s plan was announced, public meetings have been held in some of those communities, where Cutler has defended his cost-cutting proposal. Once federal officials review the plan, Cutler says additional meetings will be scheduled and a final report is written on how best to streamline the agency within the state. You can here a couple of their sound bytes and some other things on this web page: http://www.dakotaradiogroup.com/mydailynews/MDNFridayApril_13.htm

Were doing some consolidating of our own here at the Holabird Advocate the blog "War on Cancer" has been inactive for a month and it has been decided to cancel it. This cancellation happened effective last Monday. Nobody complained, and that was the problem. This doesn't mean the "War" is over. The battlefield is just moving to the Holabird Advocate.

Also we will be trying something new, starting next Friday. Anyone who is so inclined can submit an editorial to our Publisher as publisher@gmail.com and if it passes our standards of decency, you'll see it on the Holabird Advocate's Front Page on our new "Open Line Friday" segment. Our one big rule is, of course, no profanity. What the ____were we thinking when we made that rule?

Jerry Hinkle, courageous dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate has received a summons for Jury Duty for the term of July-December of 2007. Needless to say, he is thrilled to do his patriotic chore, since he hasn't served jury duty for about 9 years. He does hope that he will be chosen quickly in the event he is accepted at DWU.

Jeff Foxworthy hosts a show that has been getting a lot of buzz here in Hyde County and elsewhere lately. We are, through the magic of TV, transported back into school children. That special time where we had no bills, no responsibility, and our biggest fear was the big pop quiz in science. We're back in the 5th grade with a group of 10-11 year old kids who are, in fact, actual 5th graders. There we will be in the spotlight to show off our ignorance in all it's bliss.

When I first heard of this show, I thought perhaps that these were gifted children like my nephew, Justin. Boy was I wrong! They are just your average school kids. They can be wrong, and sometimes they are.

Jeff Foxworthy, whose father walked with him to school because-well, you know why-is the host and "Teacher" of this show, which brought to you by Mark Burnett, creator of such reality bytes as "Survivor" and "The Apprentice". Burnett will have a lot to answer for if this show really catches on. After all, what happens when 5th graders from all over the country find out that the crap that the teacher shoves down their throat day after day is of absolutely no use to them in the future at all.

You see, I consider myself to be of above average intelligence. I watched an episode of this show, and I really kicked the bucket. So, am I smarter than a 5th grader? Not according to the King of Rednecks. But I can honestly say that when I was in the 5th grade, I was a boy genius. I was so smart, really too smart for my own good. Over the years, by brain has been getting soft. The things I learned back then did not stay with me. On the other hand i know things that those snotty little brats haven't even thought of. That makes us all just about even. Doesn't it?

We don't know about Lake Wobegon, but it has not been a quiet week in Holabird! Something always going on. The Arnold Hoffman funeral called most of the Holabird Advocate staff away, also visiting relatives at the Come Hahn Inn Make Your Own Bed And Breakfast along with a bit of occasional farm work has kept us busy, on our toes and on the road.

The Hoffman funeral was a testimony to a well lived life. The church was so packed that the overflow rooms were overflowing. some mourners had to go up into the organ loft to see Arnold Hoffman off at this world and into the next. As Jerry Hinkle stated, "It's not the end! Just the beginning of the next chapter."

Larry and Phyllis Ehlers came from Minnesota for the funeral. Instead of fatted calf, it was pork roast at the Come Hahn Inn Make Your Own Bed and Breakfast on Tuesday night. Agnes also had in informal coffee clatch on Wednesday morning.

Then there was the work! Jerry Hinkle ground 300 bushels of corn for the heifers this morning. Harold and Darrel Hinkle alternated checking the cows. So far no unpleasentness. In fact Darrel has had two sets of twins, is he is a little prepared for some loss, should it occur.

When you watch TV or look through magazines, it's amazing to me how many of the ads target teenagers. Or, at least it was amazing, until I found out that teens spend $154 billion a year. Teenagers are a dream come true for any advertiser. They have money in their pocket and almost nothing important to spend it on. Most of them have food and shelter and access to the family phone, so all of the basic needs are covered. And, they haven't been jaded by 30 years of buying things that bent, broke, blew up or shut down.
Now, OK, maybe teenagers don't make a lot of money per capita, but whatever income they have is disposable. So, they have no problem spending it on tattoos or body piercing rather than on heat and groceries. But, before you parents go off on a huge rant about how the advertisers are taking unfair advantage of our naive offspring, let's step back for a minute and realize where most of that $154 billion comes from -- allowances from you. I know you didn't mean for it to go this way. Giving your kids an allowance is you investing in the future. Well, I have seen the future, and it has a safety pin through one eyelid and wears its pants around its knees. I should probably criticize the teen spending patterns more often, but I was up in the attic the other day and came across my Capricorn medallion and platform disco boots.

Instead of attending the Herseth-Sandlin Nuptials last weekend, Mary Jo Nemec squeezed off a couple photos at the prom Saturday Night. The Nemec sisters,(top photo) Bridgette on the left and Erin on the right are anything but April Fools in their tastefully elegant evening wear. The bottom photo shows Brigette with her father, Nick Nemec, who we have on good authority was not her date for the occasion. Interestingly enough, there are no photos of the girls dates. Oh well! there's always next year.

Carol Zilverberg reported that her grandson, Matthew Zilverberg had to miss prom because he was in the hospital. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that whatever put him there will be worked out if it hasn't already. Get well soon Matt!

The first thing we thought of when we heard this is who stepped an the crack. At any rate, it was reported that Agnes Hahn tripped on or near her coffee table. She was taken to the clinic and x-rays showed nothing. She went to the chiropractor, and found no relief. Upon closer examination, the x-rays showed a tiny fracture on her backbone. She had an appointment in Pierre this morning to have this looked into further. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that Agnes gets her bones knitting properly. Eat some cottage cheese for a little extra calcium Agnes!

Free Market Foreign Trade?
submitted by
Mavis Kennedy
A toy company can out source to a Chinese subcontractor and claim it's a free market. A shoe company can produce its shoes in south east Asia and claim it's a Free market. A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes and claim it's a Free market. We can buy HP Printers made in Mexico. We can buy shirts made in Bangladesh. We can purchase almost anything we want from 20 different countries BUT, heaven help the senior citizens who dare to buy their prescription drugs from a Canadian pharmacy. That's called UN-American! And you think the pharmaceutical companies don't have a powerful lobby? Think again!
Ask Jeeves, Get Answer From Us

Anyone who has spent enough time on the Internet know that the guy with all the answers is Jeeves, the Internet butler from ask.com. Lately, their has been a flood of traffic from Jeeves asking who the most downloaded woman on the Internet is. It seems in this matter, we are the go-to site because we claimed that the honor goes to Cindy Margolis. We have since learned that someone else has a claim on that title. Her name is Danni Ashe. She is called a porn queen, which we assume means she shows off more than her belly button on her site. We will not settle which claim is the more valid, but we have found out the least downloaded woman on the Internet. Check out this link: http://www.lostbrain.com/reno/index.html
South Dakota Songbook