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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Thursday, April 26, 2007
Mark Burnett Looks For Next President
Social-networking website MySpace and Mark Burnett Productions announced that they are teaming up to create Independent, a new reality competition show aimed at finding the next great politician through a multimedia campaign, which will include both the Internet and network television. The concept -- which is expected to launch in early 2008 -- is geared towards engaging youth in America's political process by giving those who visit the site and watch the show a chance to actually select a candidate whom they feel "will best reflect the voice of young Americans."
Instead of featuring a traditional reality cast of contestants, Independent will use "candidates" who submit information about themselves via MySpace Video. Once the final candidates are chosen, each will launch MySpace "Impact profiles" that will serve as their soapbox. Over the course of Independent's run, viewers of the show and visitors of the site will be able to discuss important issues with each candidate through an "interactive town-hall environment." Independent's winner will be selected by viewers and awarded a grand prize of $1 million. But he or she can't keep it, and instead must decide how to correctly spend it. With their decision influenced by viewers and the MySpace community -- who will submit politically-theme spending options -- the winner must pick which cause best suites their message. "Through this new network television series and the partnership of MySpace, we're going to discover in a big way what America really thinks, and bring to light the issues that are closest to those who now finally have a chance to be heard," said Burnett. "The largest number of eyeballs able to be reached at any one time is still network television. But clearly, the world's largest social networking community is found on MySpace and this huge, powerful group of young Americans will definitely generate strong opinions, and unquestionable influence." MySpace recently announced community-wide straw polls for Independent will begin taking place in May, and the "MySpace Presidential Primary" is currently scheduled to be held on January 1 and 2, 2008. In addition, Burnett and MySpace will soon begin to shop Independent to networks to determine which is "the most appropriate broadcast partner" for the show.
This is too good not to exploit. Anyone interested in becoming a candidate for this, or helping our Publisher do the same is encouraged to contact the home office as soon as humanly possible.
Another Chance For Open Line Friday
Last Week debut of Open Line Friday did not go as we had hoped. The entire Front Page was dedicated to other points of view, and nobody showed up could the no profanity rule be holding THAT many people back from letting it all hang out? Perhaps we don't need other opinions here. Maybe our Publisher has all wisdom and knowledge We'll try it again tomorrow, just to be sure. Hopefully there will be something for the Readers to read.
Bring on the Fatted Calf
Ken and Joan Hansen are scheduled to arrive at the Come Hahn Inn Make Your Own Bed and Breakfast sometime Saturday night. Whenever one of her kids come "home" Agnes Hahn always has a family dinner. This is no exception, for a dinner is planned for Sunday. A source inside the family says that there is more to this occasion than meets the eye. We'll have more details as they come in.
One thing that is being made public is that Mary Hinkle bought a brand new fishing license and is hoping that the Hansens will be up for a little fishing while they are in the area. Harold Hinkle assures her that the "Last Chance" is ready for another run.
Noah in 2007
Submitted by
Lynette Goehring
In the year 2007, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?""Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system on the ark. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and Exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted For the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea.I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my Building crew. Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. "Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?""No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

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