"The View" Gets Better From Here
While all of us here at the Holabird Advocate were busy watching something else, alleged comedian, Rosie O' Donnell, announced that she will be leaving "The View". Our Publisher can't wait to see what Jimmy Kimmel has to say about this. Many other folks are singing "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead". Of course, this turn of events came as no surprise to Donald Trump. He has had it in for Rosie ever since she made fun of his comb over.

"Elvis" Ministers to Michigan
Our Friends at the Dakota Radio Group Report that Elvis impersonator Greg Jaqua is an ordained minister who performs weddings as "The King". Jaqua has been entertaining as Elvis in the Detroit area for about a dozen years. He recently added wedding services to his portfolio. Jaqua says he was ordained years ago through the Universal Life Church, but recently renewed his license (one needs a license to do that?). He says he started doing weddings last year, when he heard about a couple who wanted an Elvis wedding is Vegas, but couldn't afford the trip. He's done three Elvis weddings so far.
As it happens, Jerry Hinkle, courageous dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate is also ordained through the Universal Life Church. This story has given him an idea that sounds better in his head that it does coming out of his mouth. If you don't know what that idea is, you haven't known Jerry very long! At least he isn't Running for President-YET!
North of 40
by Red Green
The concept of "last call" is a good one. It lets you know that the end is near, and if there's anything else you wanted to order, you should do it now. Here are some other times in life when "last call" would be appreciated:
On your car's gas gauge.
When the truck driver you insulted is making a fist.
When your employer is evaluating your performance.
When your wife is evaluating your performance.
When the grim reaper is in your waiting room.