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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!


Tuesday, May 31, 2005
 
VOL. Issue 5T
Publisher Becomes Jedi
Well, anyone who went to high school with Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, or even knew him when he was growing up, could tell you that he has long been mystified by the power of the Force. Last week he took a test, and it's official, the Force is strong in him. He registered as a Jedi last night. This makes 3 religions that he is practicing. Four if you count Elvis worship. It's been said that a man who serves 2 masters is half doing both jobs. If any and all Holabird Advocate Readers want to take the Jedi test you can find it at the following link. Good luck, and as always, May the Force be with you!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/leeds/features/living/faith/faith_jedi_feature.shtml
Ditty Bops Meld Musical Styles For Unique Sound
by Erik Ernst Of the State Journal
Many bands spend their pre-concert time while on tour with a steady mix of sleeping late, soundchecks, publicity work and pre-show meet-and-greets. Deciding what to wear for that night's theme isn't usually on the top of a touring musician's to-do list-unless that band is the Ditty Bops.
"I love putting on a show," said Amanda Barrett, one-half of the unusual but fascinating band Ditty Bops with Abby Dewald. Barrett called recently from Los Feliz, Calif., where she and Dewald were still pulling together that night's "prom" theme. Other shows have gone beyond the music to include skits and costumes related to circus or even underwater themes.
"Sometimes we have a show like tonight's, where we've been scrambling for the right theme for this venue," Barrett added. "We also have a long list of ideas that we've written down when they pop into our heads. The idea is the easy part. It's making it work that can be interesting."
As a band whose catchy, yet exceedingly quirky music is tough to describe with one tidy term, the Ditty Bops - performing at High Noon Saloon Thursday - have bucked the commercial music industry trends at every step.
For Barrett, a former model and theater student, music is a fairly recent occupation. She only recently learned to play the mandolin and was taught dulcimer by her mother, a Celtic musician. Her musical collaboration with her friend Dewald, a talented guitarist herself, was nearly an overlooked afterthought.
After meeting at a showing of "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and working together at a California farmers' market, Barrett and Dewald put their musical heads together and the resulting material was a melding of early 20th century ragtime jazz, soaring harmonies and whimsical poetry. It didn't sound like anything being played on the radio, yet unlike artists who toil for years without any attention from the mainstream recording industry, the Ditty Bops found themselves with a major-label deal from Warner Bros. Records after one of their first shows.
"Getting a record deal was definitely a surprise," Barrett said. "We wouldn't have played this kind of music if we were looking for a deal. At the same time, it's such a long process. Getting a deal is just the beginning. "It's not like 'Here's your deal, now you're a star,' " she said with a laugh. "The best parts have been getting the chance to make an album with Mitchell Froom (a producer whose credits include Elvis Costello and Los Lobos) and getting the chance to tour behind our own music. It's really been a lot of fun."
The duo's self-titled debut album is a diverse mix of songs. From the up-tempo "Wishful Thinking" to the more brooding and swampy "Ooh La La," Barrett and Dewald's creativity and originality shine through.
While the duo's music is steadily building an audience through progressive radio airplay, appearances on programs like public radio's "Prairie Home Companion" and soundtrack spots for the TV series "Grey's Anatomy," they've regularly played to capacity crowds near their Los Angeles residences. Touring as a developing band doesn't mix with the often elaborate homemade sets, puppets and costumes that usually accompany a Ditty Bops show, but they've succeeded in clubs on the East and the Midwest.
Their previous visit to Madison earlier this year - a quasi- homecoming for Barrett, whose mother moved to the city in recent years - earned an endorsement and airplay from WMMM 105.5 FM ("Triple M").
"It isn't too surprising that people are interested in hearing new and diverse music," Barrett said. "Often, I think record labels are afraid to push bands that don't sound like others, but people in general are open to new sounds and the labels and radio just need to open up to new things. For me, it's wonderful when something stands out from the usual."
More From The Ditty Bops
As predicted, our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, did precious little besides looking at The Ditty Bops web site. He found some good video footage of their appearance on "Late Night with Conan O' BRIen" where Ms. Amanda "shakes like jelly on a plate" during a spirited performance of "Sister Kate". For some reason that's his favorite video clip. Jerry took so many cold showers between viewings that all they have on the Ponderosa for drinking is hot water. Coffee, anyone?
Rain is coming down on the Ponderosa today. If he needs another clod shower, maybe he will get thrown outside.
Publishers Notes
by Jerry Hinkle
If anyone has had a bigger, more eventful month than I have had, I'd sure like to know who it could be. Meeting Ms. Amanda was a wonderful start, and it didn't end there. I've made a couple of fairly good friends on the Ditty Bops web site. Of course, I have also discovered that I'm not the only fan of Ms. Amanda, but I haven't met anyone who loves her as much as I do. After all, I love her enough that I don't need to be with her every minute of the day. I know that, in spite of what some have said, she and I will meet again someday. Not soon, but again.
Also this Jedi thing came on rather quickly. One thing I should point out is that I have yet to see the first 3 episodes of the "Star Wars" saga, and I haven't seen any of the last 3 episodes for 19 years. When I took that test, the Force was indeed with me. Of course, this whole "Star Wars" business means that I won't be joining the South Dakota 123 "News" category anytime soon.
The beginning of June means 52 shopping days until Emorymas. This year it will be one of the best celebrations ever. We're all curious as to how Donna Kennedy's DVD will turn out.
The Poll question for the month of June is centered on Ms. Amanda. It will be, "How long before Jerry Hinkle loses interest in Ms. Amanda?". We'll see how in tuned with my mind you Readers really are. Will it be a month, a year, or longer? We'll have to wait and see. I'm wondering how long this will go on myself. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
That's it for this Month see ya'll in June!





Monday, May 30, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5S
Danica Patrick Becomes Fastest Indy Woman
It was a historical race for 23 year old Danica Patrick of the Rahal-Letterman Racing team. She started out the Indianapolis 500 race in 13th place (unlucky for some), drove herself to 1st and went back and forth with another driver (the name of whom we have forgotten) for 1st place until she was forced to slow down because of fuel concerns. She finished in 4th place, which is the best showing for a female driver at the Indy 500 in the history of the race. Rahal-Letterman better keep that gal around, but if they don't she can always get a job at the "Come to Jesus Taxi Service".
Harold Hinkle Buys New Yacht
This is a day some thought would never come. Harold Hinkle actually found a boat that he liked. More importantly it was in his price range. Try as we are all sure he did, Harold couldn't find anything wrong with that unit.
The boat is a sporty little Lund fishing boat. It's smaller than his other yacht, which is what he wanted in the first place. As for a name, some have suggested "Last Chance" because people were getting tired of hearing about all these boats he was dealing on. That and because the name "Trump Princess" was already taken.
The purchase price was not reported, but it had to be big because Harold and his wife, Mary Hinkle, didn't go to any rummage sales this weekend. They didn't eat all the food they took with them either. Maybe they have to stretch out the old food supply. Good thing E.E. Hinkle has plenty of pudding.
Memo to CBS: You Owe Me
by Jerry Hinkle, Publisher
Holabird Advocate Newsblog
I've got to say it, CBS. You've been holding out on me. Yesterday, I discovered that you have someone as talented as Serena Altschul working in your news division. Where have you been keeping her. All these years, nothing. Then yesterday, she gets two big stories. You have to give her a promotion. She needs bigger stories and much more network news exposure.
Ms. Altschul is just what your network needs. In fact, I'd go so far as to say she should anchor the news when Bob Schieffer retires down the road. Nothing against Bob, he does the news with that Texas flair we've come to expect. But the news game has changed. People want someone who isn't on Social Security reporting the days events to them. Ms. Altschul fits the bill. She's not older than the Texas hills, and more importantly she doesn't come across as stupid, unlike your First Lady, Julie Chen.
Ordinarily, I wouldn't demand so much of any one network, but I feel you owe this to me since you burned "Joan" at the stake earlier this month. You gotta do something to redeem your bad Karma. Promoting Ms. Altschul may be just what you need. So do it ASAP. You'll be doing me, and yourself a huge favor.





Saturday, May 28, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5R
Hinkle's Observe Memorial Day
Harold and Mary Hinkle left the Ponderosa at 1:30 pm yesterday afternoon, headed for their reserved campground pads. Doug and Darrel Hinkle, and their respective families will be joining them. It is not known where they are camping exactly. This is because Jerry Hinkle didn't want to know. He figures that if he knows where they are camping, E.E. Hinkle will want to go there today. If they go there, Jerry can't stare at pictures of Ms. Amanda on The Ditty Bops web site. He will get around to doing a few other things (darn few).
On Sunday, Jerry will be teaching the Adult Sunday School class at the Methodist Church, and then get back to the Ponderosa before Ken and Joyce Ferris leave for Draper to decorate the graves of 21 dead Ferrises, give or take a few. They sure know how to party.
Poetry Corner
"Heavens"
By Ben Schumacher
By what law are these skies the same?
In what land are these one place?
What do they share but a common name?
Can such power occupy one space?
Is there a storm for every person on earth?
A sunset for every good deed?
A wondrous sky beyond any worth,
With a raindrop for each one we need?
Was the sky that changes designed that way?
Or is it by chance the way things appear?
Is there an artist for this canvas today?
Or did chaos just leave it here?
If not by chance these things were drafted,
What would that mean for me?
If the sky for our eyes was purposely crafted,
What more am I meant to see?
Reality Bytes
by Ethan Aniston
Holabird Advocate
Entertainment Editor
Well, Summer is nearly here. Time for CBS to unwrap a few new summer reality shows. Big Brother is back for a fifth time. That means this will be the fourth time that I'll not be watching. There are also shows that will show us how to work for some guy named Tommy Hilfiger (I Think that's the name, next time I read a teenagers $48 shirt, I'll know for sure). I think that I'll pass on that. There's also an "American Idle" wannabe that will make the winner become the lead singer of INXS (I pity that poor guy). The third show is called "Fire Me, Please". The object of the "game" is to have people compete to be fired for a prize of some kind. It is interseting that in this bad economy people would try to get fired, but there it is. What can you do? I'm gonna reserve judgment's on this show, mainly because they seem to have added the old "Candid Camera" laugh track to this particular show. Good thing, then I'll know where the funny parts are when the canned laughter ensues. I'll give it 4 episodes before I trash it too much.
ABC has a show that may not be reality, but then what is these days. It's a dance competition. Kelly Monaco from ABC's "General Hospital" is one of the contestants. She is so darn hot that I look at her so much and miss the name of this show, but it's on Wednesday, so check your local listings for the exact time. I know I will.





Wednesday, May 25, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5Q
E.E. Hinkle: Coming Soon on DVD
Donna Kennedy is organizing a DVD for the 103rd birthday of her Grandfather, E.E. Hinkle. She is looking for old photos and favorite things from the life of our oldest citizen. Anyone who can add something constructive to the project is asked to do so ASAP.
"The Watcher" Gets a Link
SD Blog Watch is the best blog in South Dakota that isn't listed in South Dakota 123. The SD Blog Watch is presided over by someone who hides his identity. But all of us here at the Holabird Advocate call him "The Watcher". He has nothing but good things to say about the Holabird Advocate. He even linked us up. We have taken a long time to link him up as well, but better late than never, eh Watcher. He left the scene for a spell, but came back with a few things to say, some of which are not so nice. So if you want to read someone even more brilliant that our own Publisher, go to the Free Links page, which can be accessed at the bottom of the Holabird Advocate Front Page.
Unforgettable Afternoon at the Corn Palace
This is taken from the June 2005 SDPB Magazine: "More than 3100 Friends of south Dakota Public Broadcasting filled the audience at the Corn Palace on May 7 for a sold out performance of A Prairie Home Companion. The Popular radio show, Hosted by Garrison Keillor, was also heard by 4 million radio listeners world-wide. The Program features former Senator George McGovern and up-and-coming musical duo The Ditty Bops. It was an afternoon no one in the audience will soon forget"
A Few More Words About the Ditty Bops
by Jerry Hinkle, Holabird Advocate Publisher
Just let me say that although I agree with the SDBP Magazine. That said, I wish the Ditty Bops had been mentioned ahead of Senator McGovern. As one who was right there, I will never forget that afternoon. The Ditty Bops are the main reason for that.
The Ditty Bops are going to be opening for Tori Amos. I am either too old or too young to now who she is, but I could go to that show and leave early, no problem. Who knows, maybe she's got something worth the listen.
Also I understand that The Ditty Bops have been invited to perform at Austin City Limits Fest on September 23. Anyone heading to Austin around then is asked to please get in touch with me. I understand they won't be appearing on the TV show. Not yet anyway.





Tuesday, May 24, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5P
"Tony the Tiger" Dies Sunday
Thurl Ravenscroft was not a household name. Many may not have heard of him. But they have heard him. He was the voice of Tony the Tiger in Kellogg's Frosted Flakes commercials since they first came out. Every Christmas someone hears him sing "You're a mean one Mr. Grinch" in the cartoon version of the story. He was also the voice of Kirby in the "Brave Little Toaster" movie series. His career as a voice artist was a long one, and all of us here at the Holabird Advocate think he was a one of the all time GRRRRRRRRRRRRREATS!
Thurl Ravenscroft died Sunday of prostate cancer. He was 91.
God Stops Talking to "Joan"
The morons at CBS have cancelled "Joan of Arcadia" after two seasons. The third season was to be a battle between her and the devil, but it seems the devil won the battle early, this time. As for Les Moonves, the head moron over at CBS, Jerry Hinkle was getting ready to flex the considerable muscle of the Holabird Advocate to severely punish him. God, however, talked him out of his plan. He told Jerry that Mr. Monves is married to that stupid Julie Chen. That, he reasoned, is punishment enough. Jerry declared, "That's why He's God, and I'm not!"
Quakers Deliver Petition for Peace
Hand delivery of petitions by the Society of Freinds (Quakers) to key senators was temporarily disrupted by the evacuation of the Capitol when a plane strayed into D.C.'s restricted airspace. The Service Committee was in Washington delivering more than 40,000 signatures urging an end to the Iraq war. Across the United States, people concerned about this country's military involvement in Iraq signed petitions affirming that "war is the wrong path." It was the Service Committee's second delivery of the peace petitions in Washington, bringing the total to 50,000 who have signed the call to bring the troops home. They have called for a complete withdrawal of troops from Iraq. While in Washington, the Service Committee, a peace organization founded in 1917, hoped to convey to Senate offices its determination to continue to oppose more war funding and demonstrate growing support for a diplomatic - rather than military - solution to the conflict. The visit coincided with U.S. Senate approval of the "Supplemental Appropriations Bill", which provides continued funding for the Iraq war. The petition effort is part of the "Wage Peace Campaign". More than 50,000 people across the country are now wearing blue "Wage Peace" bracelets. Approximately 120,000 have viewed its two-minute on-line movie.
B.S. Alert: What's Going on With Tom and Katie
by Jerry Hinkle, Publisher Holabird Advocate
Whenever I think that the Holabird Advocate B.S. detector is broken, I turn the TV to Doprah Winbag and wait. Sure enough, Tom Cruise was plugging his next big box office bomb "War of the Worlds". The B.S. readings? Off the charts, Bub, off the cussed charts. The usually private Cruise was just about to venture into the "Too much information" category with new "Romance" Katie Holmes. Nobody has yet figured out that this relationship was announced just before the publicity tour for his movie was to begin. Well, nobody but me anyway. Is Katie appearing in anything? Time will tell. Cruise was laying it on a little thick, I thought. Yet Doprah and her trained clapping seals ate it up. Are they really that ignorant, or do they get paid to do that?
Like I said, this new movie of Tom Cruise's will be a bomb. It may blow up in his face, too. Katie's young though, she'll find real love someday. By the way, Katie, I'm younger and a whole lot better looking that he is. Think about it, and dye your hair Atomic Orange when you're ready to make the get away. Too bad Tom's still in the closet. He could marry Rosie O' Donnell.





Monday, May 23, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5O
Circulation Department Braced For New Readers
Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle is getting the Circulation Department ready for the huge flood of new requests for a free subscription to our little Newsblog. So far, only 3 people have requested links. Who are these people? Fans of The Ditty Bops, of course. These fans have read his postings on The Ditty Bops website, and have been touched by his devotion (and possibly his insanity). Not much is known about them, except that they have good taste in music and internet reading material.
Joyce Ferris Brings a Feast
Ken Ferris took time out of his own birthday yesterday and brought his wife, Joyce Ferris out to the Ponderosa to see her 102 year old father, E.E. Hinkle. Jerry Hinkle said that if he knew they were coming, he'd have baked a cake. No matter, as Joyce brought plenty of food with her. As it happens, today is Harold Hinkle's Birthday. Too bad he has to be on a 3 day fast for his doctor. He can still have cake though. Old age is not for sissies. Just ask E.E. He'll be 103 sooner than we all realize.
Let's Go To the Videotape
by Buster Brock
Managing Editor, Holabird Advocate
I picked up "Bring it on" at the local Stop "n Rob. Very interesting. Cheerleeding sure has changed since I was in high school. Our big cheer was "Bottle of pop! Big banana! We from southern Louisiana!" Now it appears that the big cheer is, "BRR! It's cold in here! There must be some Toros in the atmosphere!" Little wonder, as they were rather scantily clad.
This movie had all the prerequisites of a "Cheer-leader" flick. Short skirts, suggestive moves, and the obligatory, "We need to raise money so lets have a Bikini car wash" scene.
Kirsten Dunst has top billing, but seems overshadowed by her co-stars. Eliza Dushku, whose presence was not needed, and Gabrielle Union, who should have had a bigger role.
Dunst and Union are Cheer-leading Captains. Dunst's squad, the Toros, stole the big routine that apparently Unions Clovers had a patent on. The aforementioned "Cold in here" chant. As catchy as that is, it is never seen or heard again. What follows is boring ordinary routines that not even the Polo, South Dakota high School drill team would want to try on a bet.
The Clovers predictably win the big national Cheer-off after begging an Oprah-like Talk show host to sponsor their team. No bikini car wash for these girls.
Dunst spends the limited time she had on screen shaking her assets for the camera. It's easy to see why Jerry Hinkle calls her "the $6 Burger".
With no good way to end the movie, the Toros and the clovers got together for an uninspired sing and dance of Toni Basil's "Mickey". The movie was already plenty long enough, this did nothing to add to the quality either.
It may be "cold in here", but this movie was lukewarm. You may like to rent it for a bachelor party or a cheap thrill, but other than that forget it. That's what playing at the local Stop 'n Rob. So until next time, please remember to be kind and rewind.





Saturday, May 21, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5N
Publisher Goes on Assignment from God
It's said that "God moves in mysterious ways." Lately He has been leaning on Jerry Hinkle to lead the music at the Methodist Church in Highmore. Despite being a minister in the Universal Life Church, Jerry finds time to take in the Methodist church service. In fact, he hardly misses the Sunday service. Apparently it's not enough. He tried to get out of it, but Jerry was told that there was a place on the sign-up sheet just for him. So Jerry looked at the sign-up sheet, and sure enough, there it was. A bare spot for "Music" on May 22.
Jerry claims he doesn't know why he was chosen for this task. After all, Mary Hinkle is the first to admit that her son has no talent at all. This mysterious way will unfold tomorrow.
Free Fishing Too Expensive For Harold Hinkle
This is the free fishing weekend for South Dakota. Larry and Bonnie Nickleson, are camped out at West Bend, just biding their time to catch the big one. Harold Hinkle has no plans to avail himself of the free fish in South Dakota's waters. He claims that it's too windy to fish. He spent most of Saturday getting his pickup, camper, and boat ready for when the weather suites him. As for Larry and Bonnie, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope and pray they do catch the mythical big one if for no other reason than to show up Harold. Mike Luze has but Harold onto a boat he thinks might tickle his fancy, but so far Harold isn't biting on that either.
The Ditty Bops Play to Packed House
Despite huge crowds at the theaters playing Star Wars Episode III, Special Holabird Advocate correspondent Oddjob claims Tangier's in Los Feliz, CA was the place to be. The ditty Bops were packing them in pretty good for another show. This show had a "Prom" theme. Our courageous dynamic Publisher got a good look at some of Oddjob's photos, which he later managed to download to the Holabird Advocate Photo Center. He also managed to upload some of those that Fixit Man took in Pioneertown. We have to be selective because there is only room for 50 pictures under 150 KB.





Friday, May 20, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5M
Web Journal Reader Gives E.E. Hinkle a Smile
The Web Journal page where our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, has been writing his grandfather, E.E. Hinkle's, life story. Lately he's been spending more time extracting links to spam in the replies column. One reply was different. It was a sideways smile, so common to the web, yet sometimes, it's not common enough. To see what the reader was smiling about, check out the Web Journal page, which is linked at the bottom of the Holabird Advocate Front Page.
A Review of The Ditty Bops Show
In Pioneertown California
by Fixit Man
L.A. Fan of The Ditty Bops
A great show for all ages. The really cool surprise were the young kids in the front row. They were loving the show and often singing along, knowing the lyrics. Some came onstage to dance and sing to Sister Kate. The encore was a big surprise as well. The Bops had already begun to put there stuff away to make room for the next act, but the audience was cheering loud and long. The Bops ended up playing the encore sitting down while Ian unpacked his bass and joined in. Well worth the 3 hour drive to the middle of the desert! Also, we got to see Amanda playing coconuts at the start of the show. (Fixit Man had many wonderful photos that we were unable to publish because they were not compatible with our system. Our Publisher's Favorite was one of Ms. Amanda playing the coconuts-big surprise. A big thanks to Fixit Man for fixing us with this story, and giving our Publisher his fix of Ms. Amanda)
Reality Bytes
by Ethan Aniston
Entertainment Editor
Holabird Advocate
There's a couple of "Reality Shows" this month that are unworthy of mention, but people are talking about them anyway, so here I am. They are "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic", and "Rob and Amber get Married".
We will deal first, with "Chaotic". Can you believe it? Hollyweird has found someone so stupid that she makes Jessica Simpleton look like Madam Curie. Don't ask me why, but I actually watched this show. I must say that Britney is so retarded, and right away I apologize to any people out there who really are retarded. Never again, I say never again will I watch this show. I might be through with all things Britney for good here. It's like the police at an auto accident. I just want to say to you, "Move on, People! There is nothing to see here! Absolutely nothing!". I feel so sorry for that baby. And to think, her deadbeat husband has two other kids out there somewhere. Pitiful, just pitiful!
Then there's "Rob and Amber". Someone needs to tell these pantloads, "Your 15 minutes are up!" and do it quickly too. Jerry Hinkle described this show best when he said, "Thank God that's on my bath night!". I know I'd want to wash out my eyes with soap if I watched this crap. Maybe they'll go away after this like the naked fat guy who won the first "Survivor" prize. I sure hope so. I've had enough of them!





Thursday, May 19, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5L
E.E. Hinkle Eats Bacon Again
For several years, E.E. Hinkle ate bacon as a part of breakfast. He stopped, not because of cholesterol, but because of his teeth. Rather than have someone chew his food for him, E.E switched to sausage.
He was always partial to "Sutleys Half and Half" the half pork and half beef sausage. That got pretty spendy. But now, thanks to the new Walmart, he's eating it again-well, sort of.
Walmart has on display a "Pork and Bacon" sausage. He really goes for that in a big way. Once someone cuts it up for him, he just goes to town on it. If the Good Lord is willing, ole' E.E. will keep at it until he turns 103 and beyond.
Agnes Hahn Surgery Goes OK
It has been reported that Agnes Hahn went into Pierre this morning to have carpal tunnel surgery. Everything went well, and it was over quickly. Mary Hinkle brought Agnes home, arriving at 2:30 pm Holabird Time. Mary even did a little work in her mother's garden. Be careful, Mary. Everybody will want to have carpal tunnel if you do that for them.
This Week in The Ditty Bops
The Ditty Bops, are playing 2 gigs this week, both in Cali.
05/19/05 Thursday Pappy and Harriet's Pioneertown, CA 53688 Pioneertown Road. Other Acts: Gram Rabbit and Inara George. Doors: 7:00 pm. Tickets: $8. All Ages.
05/20/05 Friday Tangier's Los Feliz, CA 2138 Hillhurst Blvd. Other Act: Skeeter Truck Doors: 7:00 pm. Show Time: 8 pm. Tickets: $10.00. If you come for dinner, 10% discount on food with show stamp.
All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hopes that anyone in the area of either of these shows gets there and checks them out. They are really something else.





Wednesday, May 18, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5K
KELO Gambles Sweeps on EAFB
May, as we all know by now, is Sweeps. Keloland is hoping to strike ratings gold at home rather that trot out the same old boring CBS Wednesday night fare. Rather than take a chance on Dan Rather and the usual gang at "60 Minutes", they are having a special report dealing with the impending close of Ellsworth Air Force Base. It's all part of their "Tradition of Caring". They are hoping the viewers care enough to tune into it. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate, or at least most of us, will be watching "Lost" on ABC instead of that report. We are still curious to see what other folks will do. Anyone with bona fide ratings for the hour of 7 pm CDT in South Dakota are encouraged to share them with our Publisher. We will not reveal the source if we publish the results, we will even refrain from publishing if the source requests that they be kept quiet. Thanks in advance. Good luck Keloland, on your latest reality show this evening. But we're opting for fantasy tonight.
Thunderstorm Misses Hyde County
Thunder and lightning were the order of the night, but only a quarter inch of rain. Nick Nemec Reported .30 of an inch at his spread. Lightning flashed close enough to the Ponderosa that Harold Hinkle interrupted his son as it was Jerry Hinkle's bath night. Apparently, Harold thought a bathtub full of water was not the place for him to be. The National weather service did not think Hyde County was in danger, it appears, as the storm with originated in Canning, Hughes County just disappeared once it hit the Hyde County border and reappeared in Hand County. Both of those counties were warned, Hyde county was not warned at all.
Big Day for Hinkles
May 18, 2005 is a special day for the Hinkle family. Besides the birthday of Joyce Ferris, it is also the last day of School for the year for Brittany Hinkle. It is also the day that the Ponderosa carpet received it's first visitor, Nick Nemec, who looked only briefly because he was on the trail of some runaway bulls.
Mary Hinkle took her mother, Agnes Hahn, to the doctor in Pierre this afternoon. When she got back home, she took the long way around to avoid soiling her new carpet. She also went to Walmart to purchase (you guessed it) carpet protectors.
New Radio Station at the Home Office
Because we wanted to hear Ana Nemec invite us to the Graduation commencement, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate changed stations from XS 95 to KPLO. We never heard Ana, just some guy who talked so fast that we never caught his name. It matters not, since we didn't go anyway. We have decided that we like KPLO better. At least the morning. "Prime-Time" Paul Rollie is very entertaining in the morning, much more so that those idiots Bob and Sheri, who talk all the time on XS 95. The XS must stand for "X-tra Stupid". At any rate, we have made the chance permanent. Or at least until XS 95 has a "Less Talk More Rock" format.





Tuesday, May 17, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5J
Latest News From The Ditty Bops
For all intents and purposes, appearing on A Prairie Home Companion was a good career move for The Ditty Bops. It was reported that after they made their debut on the show, sales of their self titled album spiked to #61 on Amazon. PHC host Garrison Keillor liked them enough that there are plans for them to be invited back at a future time.
It has also been revealed that the color of Ms. Amanda's hair color is Atomic Orange. No word on the brand name of the chemical used. Our Publisher has declared that the color is a very good shade for her.
Ponderosa Carpet a Big Hit
Despite the fact that it isn't dyed Atomic Orange, the carpet that was masterfully installed at the Ponderosa by carpet artist, Dick Menning of Pierre is looking pretty good. The carpet has a definite lightening effect on the living room. It is even easier to open the front door. Let's hope that they can keep it clean now. No word yet on when Mary Hinkle has planned to hold the carpet warming.
Darrel Hinkle Gets Early Start on Corn
E.E. Hinkle ought to be tickled all the way plumb with youngest grandson Darrel Hinkle. He got started with his corn planting on May 14, and things are going pretty good. E.E. Has always insisted that one gets their corn started on May 15, because that was his father's birthday. As he recalls it, "Dad started out many of his birthdays planting corn, even when he had to wear an overcoat". What the 102 year old E.E. has forgotten is that Darrel has a few things that Ed Hinkle didn't have available. Ed planted corn with a two horse power unit. Their names were Old Dave and Molly. The name of Darrel's horse power is John Deere 4440. Ed had a 2 row planter. Darrel has been up to 8 rows for a while now. It boggles the mind how corn planting has changed in 100 years. One wonders what Ed Hinkle would have thought. All of us at the Holabird Advocate hope he'd be impressed.





Monday, May 16, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5I
Buster Brock Goes "To the Videotape" Again
After an absence of several months, Ed "Buster" Brock is back at the Holabird Advocate. He is also working part time at the local Stop 'n Rob's videotape counter. He recently brought home some of his work. More about that later on. Welcome back Buster. We missed ya!
Hinkles Cut a Rug
It seems that Mary Hinkle wants to replace the living room carpet at the Ponderosa. Sure is hard, keeping up with the Buckets. Jerry Hinkle wonders what was wrong with the old carpet. Apparently, that make him stupid and insensitive. Nothing new there.
Instead of seeing the Highmore High School class of 2005 graduate, the Hinkle family got the living room cleaned in anticipation for the blessed event. Such a shame and Ana Nemec sent them that nice invitation too. Mary Hill have to invite the Nemecs to her carpet warming party once the new one is installed on Tuesday. Mary isn't messing around either. The guy she got to lay her carpet is a real artist. He'll only work on the carpet when the floor is just right. That must mean he's good. Never hurts to be a perfectionist. The Artist will be at the Ponderosa at 8:30am. The time of the carpet warming will be announced at a future time. Those who are invited will be asked to remove their shoes an bow toward Mecca (wherever that is). The term carpet warming may not be accurate, as it is advertised to be flame resistant.
The current carpet was installed around December of 1992, back when the Zilverberg kids were about the same age as Harold and Mary's grandkids are now. Seems that back then Jerry was wondering why his mother was getting rid of a perfectly good carpet. You'd think by the way he acts that he was gonna have to pay for it. All of us at the Holabird Advocate suspect he'll change his tune if the carpet is dyed orange or something.
Everybody Stops Loving "Raymond"
by Ethan Aniston, Entertainment Editor
Holabird Advocate Newsblog
It was a show 9 years in the making. The very last original episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond is over. The show ended with a thud. A very dull thud. As predicted 90 minutes would be too long to say "Good-bye" to this show. Had it not been for the Sony commercial where the model shows off a tattoo, and an Old navy ad with dancing gals in "Old Navy swim-wear" the evening would have been totally wasted.
The first hour of the show couldn't make up it's mind what it was. Was it a "clip show"? Was it a "Behind the scenes show"? It half did two jobs, that I do know. I did enjoy the writers of the show explaining the inspiration for some of the better episodes. Pity that was for just 3 minutes. They did have some good material in that 3 minutes. It's just too bad that the rest of the show was not that good.
The last half hour was nothing special. To think they spent a week between illnesses to do this episode too. What a waste of time! The good news is, the kids were back. I don't know where they have been, but I'm glad that they were all found safe and sound. Their brief appearance was welcome. The show's last episode had nothing new. Ray whined throughout, Marie was clingy to Ray throughout. Sure Raymond almost died, but still that was for only 30 seconds. They could have put this show in the middle of the season, and nobody would have been the wiser. Oh well, it's over now. Some folks are lucky enough to get to see reruns of the show back when it was funny. I'd like to do that someday. So long Barones! See ya around if Robert ever gets his spin off!
Let's Go to the Videotape
by Buster Brock
Jennifer Garner is cute, and I really wanted to like her in the movie, "13 going on 30". Her part in it was good, although I don't know very many 13 year old girls that act like she did. A lot of the 1987 action was OK, but the writer of this movie should have known that in that year Rick "Jessie's Girl" Springfield was a bum. Whatever happened to him?
Jenna Rink starts out as a 13 year old girl (played with conviction by Chista B. Allen). She wishes to be "thirty, flirty and thriving". Don't we all, I sure do. Anyway, Christa's Jenna turns into Jennifer Garner's Jenna. Hilarity ensues. I really didn't appreciate this movie until the surprise ending when everything just fell into place. The movie starts out pretty week, but if can get past that, it does get better.
That's what is playing at the local Stop 'N Rob. Until next time, remember to be kind and rewind.





Saturday, May 14, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5H
Holabird Church of Universal Life Plans
To Help With EAFB Closing Transition
The impending close of Ellsworth Air Force Base is an event that could be difficult for some. Reverend Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Church of Universal Life wishes to help in cheering up the downtrodden of this event. He declares, "It's never too late to Come to Jesus!". In order to help out these poor unfortunate people, the church will make care packages consisting of a bible in the New Living Translation and The Ditty Bops CD. Reverend Hinkle believes if that doesn't make one feel better then there truly is no hope for them. "The bible will minister to the soul, the CD to the heart." He plainly stated.
Of course donations will be needed to bring this about, so if you want to help all of the poor souls whose life was torn asunder by this base closing, let them know that it's time to "Come to Jesus". Is there a better time? So send your donations to the Holabird Church of Universal Life. It is estimated that the care packages will cost $20 each, so give generously. Sioux Falls liberals claim they care about the poor, here's their chance to prove it.
Words of Wisdom For All Graduates
by Jerry Hinkle, Publisher, Holabird Advocate
This Weekend there will be two graduations in my family. My cousin Andy graduate from his trade school today, and tomorrow, honorary Hinkle, Ana Nemec, will graduate from good old Highmore High School at the top of her class. And so I (who graduated closer to the bottom of my own class) thought I should let anyone who is graduating from one place to another in on a few secrets.
Two conflicting emotions are within you at this time. You are feeling ready to take on the world, hungry for what is yours. You are also afraid that you might not have what it takes to get what is yours. Mistakes? Yes, you will make them. You'll also have to answer for them in one way or another. Still the people who care about you will always be there to let you know you are not alone. You have the knowledge that you have just learned to help you in your new objectives. You may not know what comes next, but it will fall into place somehow. There are times you will have to regroup, change the plan. Believe it or not, I never thought I'd be doing what I'm doing now back when I graduated from Good old Highmore High 19 years ago. For better or worse, it is what God had planned for me. You could do worse than listening for a word from God, even when those around you say you're crazy. If you feel your on the right path, stick with it. God will let you know when it's not right. Trust in yourself and God, and there'll be no stopping you. Good luck and congratulations to every graduate and their respective families.
Free Camping Weekend in South Dakota
Today starts the free camping weekend for all of the campgrounds operated by the South Dakota Game Fish and Parks (although some say G F & P stand for something else which is unprintable here. Doug Hinkle and his family group are taking advantage of the cheaper rate to kick back and relax in their new camper. Harold And Mary Hinkle went over to visit this afternoon. Darrel and Kristi Hinkle plan to see Dave and Beth Aasby out there tomorrow.





Friday, May 13, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5G
EAFB To Be Closed
BRAC has apparently decided to close Ellsworth Air Force Base. Said closure is slated to take place within 7 years time. This is not the first time that EAFB has been in this kind of situation, but it may be the last. Tom "D.C. Resident" Daschle is said to have saved the base from a similar fate 10 years ago. Reaction is understandably mixed, some have even claimed that the base has outlived it's usefulness. Time will tell the tale.
There is good news. Minot Air Force Base will not be affected by the BRAC. America, or at least our part of it, will be safe from invading Canadians for years to come. Thanks Rummy!
Rain Comes Down as Well Goes Dry
The Ponderosa got quite a rain yesterday. Good thing to, because there was no water in the tap for anybody. Water for flushing was available at the shop, the bonus was it smelled of sewer already. Luckily Harold Hinkle had the place Y2K ready so there was plenty of drinking water.
A quick trip to Pierre this afternoon for water pressure tanks, and a slow trip to the well to install them has the water flowing like-well-flowing like water. Good thing too, because certain people around there need a bath and how.
Commercial Parody
by Lilia L'valley
For reasonable rates, and a mothers care, you can't beat the Come Hahn Inn. Agnes Hahn can provide you a clean comfortable room for as little as $10/day plus meals. The Come Hahn Inn has all the comforts of home and then some. That the Come Hahn Inn Highmore South Dakota.
(boring legal disclaimer: Tenants will refrain from playing loud music, clean there own mess, and get to bed at a decent hour. Tenants with a criminal record will be forced to listen to Agnes's oldest daughter Mary sing "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor On the Bedpost Overnight" while in the shower. Residents of Brainerd, Minnesota must refrain from complaining about the movie "Fargo" when children are present. All offers void where prohibited and prohibited where void. Stay off the grass, don't pick flowers, and help put up the Christmas lights in November)





Thursday, May 12, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5F
Ellsworth Faces Closure
Once again, Ellsworth Air Force Base is in Jeopardy of closing. This is not the first time EAFB has been on the chopping block. One almost thinks that someone is crying "WOLF" about this current round of closings. Of course, there are other bases involved. Two such others in North Dakota are the Grand Forks Base and the one in Jerry Hinkle's former home town of Minot.
California Hinkles Cancel Trip
It was with a heavy heart that Don Hinkle called the Ponderosa today to say that he and wife LaRayne Hinkle would not be coming to visit later on this month. Health concerns have come up. Nothing life threatening, issues of comfort mostly. Don and LaRayne's grandson, Stryder Impyn, was understandably disappointed, but will spend his vacation time with them anyhow, just not in South Dakota.
Holabird Advocate Wrongly Reports Names
of the Bride and Groom in Konrad Wedding
Fact checkers? We don't need them here at the Holabird Advocate. WRONG! Kristi Hinkle reported that she will be handling the flowers for the Konrad wedding in August. She assumed, incorrectly as it turns out, that the bride was Sara Konrad. The bride is in fact Sara's older sister, Emily Konrad. No word on who the groom is. We are quite sure that it isn't anyone with the last name of LaFourtune, however.
All of us here at the Holabird Advocate regret the error and our courageous dynamic Publisher takes full responsibility for this lapse in news quality. We can only promise to do better in the future. We also with Ms. Emily and her groom well in their forthcoming marriage. They will have the best flowers in the tri-county area.
Emily's Mother, Connie Fischer Konrad grew up in Holabird and became Hyde County Auditor. You really can go anywhere from here.
The Ditty Bops Steal the Show
Jerry Hinkle claims that The Ditty Bops really stole the show at the live broadcast of A Prairie Home Companion last week in Mitchell. This is nothing new to them, as Jerry found out in a story about them on the internet from a show they played a few months ago. One of the highlights of the evening entertainment came when one irritated crowd member shouted for the Ditty Bops to "get off the stage," to which they responded by playing a tune that began, "Hey, Little Man," which garnered laughter and applause from the rest of the crowd. You can't buy class like that from any charm school in the world.





Wednesday, May 11, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5E
Holabird Advocate Has The Ditty Bops
Once again, Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, has been richly blessed as "the Overflow" continues. Through some incredibly quick thinking on the part of Jerry's aunt, Phyllis Ehlers, Our little Newsblog as photographic evidence that he met an actual woman who would allow herself to have her picture taken. There are actually two of them, but he likes one better. And now, there are two photos in the Holabird Advocate Photo Center page which all interested parties can access at the bottom of the page. The photos with Ms. Amanda and her singing partner Ms. Abby are in the album marked The Ditty Bops. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are impressed by Phyllis's photographic skills. Digital photos hardly ever turn out, but she has really captured Ms. Amanda's true beauty.
The Ditty Bops album has not done so well since they met our Publisher. They were at #78 when we first looked and now Amazon.com has them at #229. Of course, it's been on sale since October of last year.
Audblog a Big Hit With Readers
The audio blogger segments titled, "Good Morning Holabird" has gone over in a big way. The interview with E.E. Hinkle was given high praise in feedback so far. Some folks who haven't seen him in a while were glad to here his voice. Others got a chuckle from his answer to the question "Are you going to miss me when I'm gone?". It should be pointed out that the person who shouted "NO!" at that question was Harold Hinkle, a man that nobody finds funny.
Cold Snap Hits Hyde County
With a temperature of 34 degrees last night, and a threat of frost later in the week, Darrel and Kristi Hinkle have installed a heating unit in Kristi's Greenhouse. Wind and rain are the order of the day. The only difference is that folks around here want the rain.
Hollyweird Happenings
by Ethan Aniston
Holabird Advocate Entertainment Editor
Well, Oprah really did it this time. She turned a cheap ratings stunt into an April Fools joke. After airing promos declaring that she and her kept man, Steadman Graham, have a "secret daughter" we find out that it is a 10 year old dog. The irony that Oprah's daughter is a real bitch is not lost on anyone, especially me.
Oscar winning Renee Zellwiggler has stunned her friends and fans by marrying some country singer I've never heard of. Jerry Hinkle tells me I'm not missing much. Hard to believe that just 10 years ago, when Oprah was giving birth to a puppy, Ms. Zellwiggler was just one of many starting out in a little film called "Empire Records". She's come a long way in such a short time. Some have suggested that this marriage was a publicity stunt. She has that movie coming out, and her husband is going to be all the talk of the Country Music academy award later on this month. I have a different theory. Anybody notice she got married on the same weekend that our Publisher met Ms. Amanda. Coincidence? I think not.





Monday, May 09, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5D
Publisher Goes Back to Reality
The trouble with dream vacations is that at some time, you have to wake up. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, came into the home office in a cheerful mood. He was even singing that old Motown classic, "Knock on Wood". Bare in mind it was a Monday. Something was up. Something big. The details are herein contained.
Seems that Jerry, and his father, Harold Hinkle were trying to out do each other for the biggest bad mood. Some say that, until Saturday night Jerry would have won the prize. And then it happened. But let's go back a few hours. While Jerry was with his family at the Prairie Home Companion, he was struck by the unusual beauty of a certain young lady with hair that was, according to Jerry, "an interesting shade of orange".
Her name is Amanda Barrett, half of a musical duet called The Ditty Bops. Jerry was so struck by her that he wanted to have his picture taken with her. As luck has it, Jerry's aunt, Phyllis Ehlers, had a camera at the ready.
After the show was over, the Goehring family group went to a steak house called The Depot. Jerry wanted to go to Bonanza, and said so. Several times, over and over again, he would remind them that he would have preferred Bonanza. There's just something about steak and soft ice cream that gets to him. And then it happened. A group of 16 people from the show came into the Depot, and Ms. Amanda was one of them. You know, Jerry never mentioned Bonanza one time after that. Meanwhile, the Goehring group had reservations for 10 at 8:30, and were not called until 8:54. It was about this time that Jerry could have used a bag of ice down the pants. After everyone ordered, Jerry started thinking. Such is a dangerous proposition under the best of circumstances, to say nothing of this situation. He reasoned that if it took 24 minutes to get seated, it would take a while for the food to get cooked, so he's just mosey on over to the billiard section of the place where Ms. Amanda was running the table, and good. Between shots this angel from the City of Angels (yes, she lives in L.A.) actually spoke to him. Small talk mostly, but they got to know each other a little bit. When her table was called, Ms. Amanda gave him her popcorn bowl. Jerry considered discreetly smuggling said bowl out of the place, but ended up chatting her up again after he was done eating his 9 oz. prime rib.
So this is the romance of the century, right! Not exactly, but one never knows when the hand of God will bring them together again. There's also e-mail, should it come to that. At his age, Jerry needs a pen pal more than a romantic attachment anyway.
All interested Readers can get a look at Ms. Amanda while she was a brunette, and you can also buy The Ditty Bops self titled debut album at their web site: thedittybops.com/. The album is available at Amazon.com for just $11.99, or you can get it used for $7.64. It's currently rated #78 in Music. It's a iron clad, copper riveted, self loading, lead pipe cinch what Jerry wants for his birthday. Unfortunately, the cost of that would exceed the $20 limit.
Kennedys Go Home
With Harold, Mary, and Jerry Hinkle back home safe at the Ponderosa, George and Mavis Kennedy decided to get back home to take care of some pressing matters. After Mavis was done frying up huge stacks of pancakes, they motored on home. They got back by 3 pm Holabird Time. They'll be back for Emorymas in July. E.E. Hinkle will see to that.
Mavis did a spendid job as a substitute for both Mary and Jerry. Nobody heard a complaint from E.E. at all. The old boy did have a dream that upset him though. Seems that he had this dream Saturday night around 9pm where a red headed gal took Jerry away from him. That could never happen, could it?
Raymond Gets Closer to Finish Line
by Ethan Aniston,
Holabird Advocate Entertainment Editor
"Everybody Loves Raymond" is gearing up for a big finish next week. At least, that's what CBS hopes. The last few episode are painfully lacking in substance. This evening's episode had Robert's mother-in-law smoking. Not the best ratings stunt one could come up with, is it? Next weeks "Raymond" is the last new episode, and its going to be a 90 minute show. If the last few shows are any indication, you'd best drink a lot of coffee and go to the can during commercial breaks. You may stay awake for all of it.
If I was to write the finale, I'd do it like this. Raymond's writing gets him noticed in Hollywood, perhaps even a spot on ESPN. He has to move to the West Coast. The Kids (who have been noticeably absent for a few seasons, don't they have AMBER alerts on TV) and Debra get ready to go to California, while the rest get ready to say good-bye. Robert acts truly happy about this move, but in the last 5 minutes he will realize that, in spite of all of the bitterness between them for all of those, that each of them cares for the other, and they will be missed. Raymond agrees to sell his house to Robert and Amy so they can move out of the house next door. Just before Raymond leaves his house for the last time he embraces his brother, at which point Frank walks in. With all the gusto he can muster, we hear for one last time, those immortal words, "HOLY CRAP". Fade to black, the end. Like I said before, I don't expect CBS to end the show this way, but that is the way it should end. This may be the end of an era for the Monday Night Comedy, but life will go on. It always has and always will. As Jerry Hinkle said when Baywatch folded, "Cheer up, boys! There's always reruns!" I wish them a fond farewell next week. I hope you will as well. They had a good run. So Long Raymond!





Sunday, May 08, 2005
 
this is an audio post - click to play





Saturday, May 07, 2005
 
this is an audio post - click to play





Friday, May 06, 2005
 
this is an audio post - click to play





Wednesday, May 04, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5C
Holabird Youth Becomes Highmore Valedictorian
Mary Jo Nemec has reported that the valedictorian of Highmore's 2005 Graduating Class is Holabird's own Anastasia Elizabeth Nemec, who will be graduating with a 4.0 GPA. Ana received this medal of honor last night at the annual Awards Night. Ana's little sister, Erin, is no slouch either, as she will be inducted into the National Honor Society by big sister, Ana, at the banquet tonight for the National Honor Society.
On another interesting note, Mary Jo, Ana, Nick Nemec were invited guests this past Monday at the Governor's Recognition Luncheon for Academic Excellence where the top 1% of South Dakota's graduating seniors are honored. We should be on the watch for Ana's photo on KSFY TV's Brightest and Best Spotlight. She also got to do a radio commercial for KPLO 94.5 inviting everyone to Highmore's graduation. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate who are able will be listening for that.
Not the Jay Davis We're Looking For
Jay Davis is an attorney who at one time helped represent the farmers during the whole deal with the Oahe irrigation ditch. Jay got to know EE and Henry Single through that mess. This is the Jay Davis that Mary Jo Nemec saw at McGovern Day which was held in Spearfish (not Vermillion as we had claimed earlier). The Jay Davis that Harold Hinkle remembers (also known as Stinky Davis) is dead, according to Don Hinkle.
There are 3 people with the name Jay Davis. One in Rapid City, and two in Sioux Falls. If the Hinkles knew which one was THE one, they could invite him to this years Emorymas. We can't guarantee that E.E. will remember him. We can't even guarantee that E.E. will be awake when he is here either. You can expect just so much from a 103 year old.
Sweeps Ratings Stunts Abound
by Ethan Aniston
Holabird Advocate Entertainment Editor
Dr. Phil and Oprah seem to be in a competition to see who can out-do the other. Oprah managed to get Brooke Shields to plug her new book, while Dr. Phil picks a fight with that Omarosa chick from "The Apprentice". Tonight he brow beats poor ol' Pat O' Brien. Is Dr. Phil channeling Springer or not here. This is not exactly helping anyone to watch this crap. Then he has the nerve to say, "Get real"? Physician, heal thyself!





Tuesday, May 03, 2005
 
VOL. IV Issue 5B
After Rehab, Publisher Lowers Score
Jerry Hinkle delivered quite a shock to himself last night. He scored 66% Republican in a quiz that is spreading like wildfire to all of the better blogs in the South Dakota 123 Network. Mary Hinkle was not exactly shocked to here that her oldest son scored so high, after all, she is a registered Republican herself. Then she scored 26% on the quiz. At which time she said, "It doesn't mean a thing!"
Jerry decided to sleep on it (something Democrats are good at, just ask Bill Clinton) and redo the quiz in the morning. He then scored a 57%. After an e-mail flogging from honorary Hinkle, Mary Jo Nemec, he decided to take the quiz a third time. After he scored a respectable 43%, he decided to quit. No use in scoring too low now, is there.
There has been G-mail on both sides of this coin. So much that we are storing 42 MB of it now. And while it's safe to say Jerry will never be welcome at a Stephanie Herseth function, we are still holding out hope that Bernie Hunhoff will not hold anything against him.
The bright side of all of this is that SD Blog Watch is back. From what we've seen, they are better than ever.
Nemecs take in McGovern Day
Mary Jo Nemec has reported going to McGovern day in Vermillion. She saw at least two people that she felt needed mentioning. The first was Stephanie Herseth (She just gotta rub that in), the second was Jay Davis. It seems that Mr. Davis was surprised to hear that E.E. Hinkle was still alive and almost 103. E.E. On the other hand can't quite place him. Harold Hinkle seems to think he is a cousin of E.E.'s cousin, Vernon Hosbrook. Don Hinkle may remember him better. Harold says he will have to check on that tonight when he calls his favorite uncle.
Kristi's Greenhouse Almost Ready
Tomorrow morning, bright and early, Darrel and Kristi Hinkle will get up and motor on over to get the flowers and other plants to fill up Kristi's Greenhouse. Only the very best will do, and that's what they are going to get for Kristi's Greenhouse.
Kristi dropped Shelby and Justin Hinkle off at the Ponderosa. When George and Mavis Kennedy get there tonight, maybe they'll help babysit. After School, Brittany Hinkle will be an overnight guest of Jim and Ruby Hoffman. Nobody has to help out with her, because Brit can take care of herself pretty good.





Monday, May 02, 2005
 
Extra Extra Read All About It
While our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle was reviewing stat's for the Holabird Advocate Circulation Department, He found link to a quiz on South Dakota Blogwatch at http://southdakotablogwatch.blogspot.com/ He took the quiz with the following results below;
"You are:66%Republican.
I bet you'd like Democrats okay if they wouldn't keep handing out your paycheck to urban welfare cheats, right? (And you probably don't want me to be saying anything about "urban" being some kind of code word, I bet.)"
Kinda make you wonder where his parents went wrong raising him. Does anyone have the guts to tell E.E. Hinkle on him? He'll probably get booted from the Bernie Hunhoff fan club too!




 
VOL. IV Issue 5A
Holabird Advocate Explores Social Security
May's Holabird Advocate Reader poll concerns Social Security. Unlike the last few polls, we believe that this issue will have answers scattered all over the board. This is a tough issue, and as we don't know the right answer, we'd like to see what our Readers think of this issue. Can Social Security be fixed? If so, should it be? As always the poll is at the bottom of the Front Page. Let us know what you think.
E.E. Hinkle Loosens Up
The eating exploits of E.E. Hinkle are almost legendary. At age 102, he packs the food away and doesn't seem to gain much weight. Perhaps the secret to his weight control is what he eats. E.E's Favorite daughter-in-law, Mary Hinkle, opened a can of prunes and distributed the contents evenly into four bowls. E.E. Could have just as well ate them straight from the can, as he put them all away in one night. As one could imagine, he was looser than Paris Hilton's morals. Nothing like a midnight snack for people on the go.
May Sweeps Put Me to Sleep
by Ethan Aniston
Holabird Advocate Entertainment Editor
How anybody can call this stuff entertainment is beyond me. Desperate Housewives is back from reruns, as a matter of fact, they had to remind us what took place before they started running new episodes. ABC did the same with Lost, which really was a waste of time. We knew what happened because we saw some of these episodes two or three times this season. Grey's Anatomy was so boring, I fell asleep in the middle of it. Perhaps Katharine Heigl needs to disrobe for the camera again. Same thing happened tonight with Everybody Loves Raymond. Of course, I'd rather that cast kept their clothes on.
Listen Up might have broken the so called "Seinfeld Curse", but CBS has no plans to air a new episode in May. In fact, they are waiting to see if the show gets picked up for season two. Perhaps if they got rid of that ugly wife. Have her either die or get replaced by Marrisa Tomei. Maybe Theo Huxtable could have a bigger part. The kids are being played to perfection, although they should be careful that the daughter doesn't get too smutty. Other than that, the show is great.




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