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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Monday, May 30, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 5S Danica Patrick Becomes Fastest Indy Woman It was a historical race for 23 year old Danica Patrick of the Rahal-Letterman Racing team. She started out the Indianapolis 500 race in 13th place (unlucky for some), drove herself to 1st and went back and forth with another driver (the name of whom we have forgotten) for 1st place until she was forced to slow down because of fuel concerns. She finished in 4th place, which is the best showing for a female driver at the Indy 500 in the history of the race. Rahal-Letterman better keep that gal around, but if they don't she can always get a job at the "Come to Jesus Taxi Service". Harold Hinkle Buys New Yacht This is a day some thought would never come. Harold Hinkle actually found a boat that he liked. More importantly it was in his price range. Try as we are all sure he did, Harold couldn't find anything wrong with that unit. The boat is a sporty little Lund fishing boat. It's smaller than his other yacht, which is what he wanted in the first place. As for a name, some have suggested "Last Chance" because people were getting tired of hearing about all these boats he was dealing on. That and because the name "Trump Princess" was already taken. The purchase price was not reported, but it had to be big because Harold and his wife, Mary Hinkle, didn't go to any rummage sales this weekend. They didn't eat all the food they took with them either. Maybe they have to stretch out the old food supply. Good thing E.E. Hinkle has plenty of pudding. Memo to CBS: You Owe Me by Jerry Hinkle, Publisher Holabird Advocate Newsblog I've got to say it, CBS. You've been holding out on me. Yesterday, I discovered that you have someone as talented as Serena Altschul working in your news division. Where have you been keeping her. All these years, nothing. Then yesterday, she gets two big stories. You have to give her a promotion. She needs bigger stories and much more network news exposure. Ms. Altschul is just what your network needs. In fact, I'd go so far as to say she should anchor the news when Bob Schieffer retires down the road. Nothing against Bob, he does the news with that Texas flair we've come to expect. But the news game has changed. People want someone who isn't on Social Security reporting the days events to them. Ms. Altschul fits the bill. She's not older than the Texas hills, and more importantly she doesn't come across as stupid, unlike your First Lady, Julie Chen. Ordinarily, I wouldn't demand so much of any one network, but I feel you owe this to me since you burned "Joan" at the stake earlier this month. You gotta do something to redeem your bad Karma. Promoting Ms. Altschul may be just what you need. So do it ASAP. You'll be doing me, and yourself a huge favor.
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