VOL. IV Issue 5O
Circulation Department Braced For New Readers
Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle is getting the Circulation Department ready for the huge flood of new requests for a free subscription to our little Newsblog. So far, only 3 people have requested links. Who are these people? Fans of The Ditty Bops, of course. These fans have read his postings on The Ditty Bops website, and have been touched by his devotion (and possibly his insanity). Not much is known about them, except that they have good taste in music and internet reading material.

Ken Ferris took time out of his own birthday yesterday and brought his wife, Joyce Ferris out to the Ponderosa to see her 102 year old father, E.E. Hinkle. Jerry Hinkle said that if he knew they were coming, he'd have baked a cake. No matter, as Joyce brought plenty of food with her. As it happens, today is Harold Hinkle's Birthday. Too bad he has to be on a 3 day fast for his doctor. He can still have cake though. Old age is not for sissies. Just ask E.E. He'll be 103 sooner than we all realize.

I picked up "Bring it on" at the local Stop "n Rob. Very interesting. Cheerleeding sure has changed since I was in high school. Our big cheer was "Bottle of pop! Big banana! We from southern Louisiana!" Now it appears that the big cheer is, "BRR! It's cold in here! There must be some Toros in the atmosphere!" Little wonder, as they were rather scantily clad.

This movie had all the prerequisites of a "Cheer-leader" flick. Short skirts, suggestive moves, and the obligatory, "We need to raise money so lets have a Bikini car wash" scene.

Kirsten Dunst has top billing, but seems overshadowed by her co-stars. Eliza Dushku, whose presence was not needed, and Gabrielle Union, who should have had a bigger role.

Dunst and Union are Cheer-leading Captains. Dunst's squad, the Toros, stole the big routine that apparently Unions Clovers had a patent on. The aforementioned "Cold in here" chant. As catchy as that is, it is never seen or heard again. What follows is boring ordinary routines that not even the Polo, South Dakota high School drill team would want to try on a bet.

The Clovers predictably win the big national Cheer-off after begging an Oprah-like Talk show host to sponsor their team. No bikini car wash for these girls.

Dunst spends the limited time she had on screen shaking her assets for the camera. It's easy to see why Jerry Hinkle calls her "the $6 Burger".

With no good way to end the movie, the Toros and the clovers got together for an uninspired sing and dance of Toni Basil's "Mickey". The movie was already plenty long enough, this did nothing to add to the quality either.

It may be "cold in here", but this movie was lukewarm. You may like to rent it for a bachelor party or a cheap thrill, but other than that forget it. That's what playing at the local Stop 'n Rob. So until next time, please remember to be kind and rewind.