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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
VOL. IV Issue 5P
"Tony the Tiger" Dies Sunday
Thurl Ravenscroft was not a household name. Many may not have heard of him. But they have heard him. He was the voice of Tony the Tiger in Kellogg's Frosted Flakes commercials since they first came out. Every Christmas someone hears him sing "You're a mean one Mr. Grinch" in the cartoon version of the story. He was also the voice of Kirby in the "Brave Little Toaster" movie series. His career as a voice artist was a long one, and all of us here at the Holabird Advocate think he was a one of the all time GRRRRRRRRRRRRREATS!
Thurl Ravenscroft died Sunday of prostate cancer. He was 91.
God Stops Talking to "Joan"
The morons at CBS have cancelled "Joan of Arcadia" after two seasons. The third season was to be a battle between her and the devil, but it seems the devil won the battle early, this time. As for Les Moonves, the head moron over at CBS, Jerry Hinkle was getting ready to flex the considerable muscle of the Holabird Advocate to severely punish him. God, however, talked him out of his plan. He told Jerry that Mr. Monves is married to that stupid Julie Chen. That, he reasoned, is punishment enough. Jerry declared, "That's why He's God, and I'm not!"
Quakers Deliver Petition for Peace
Hand delivery of petitions by the Society of Freinds (Quakers) to key senators was temporarily disrupted by the evacuation of the Capitol when a plane strayed into D.C.'s restricted airspace. The Service Committee was in Washington delivering more than 40,000 signatures urging an end to the Iraq war. Across the United States, people concerned about this country's military involvement in Iraq signed petitions affirming that "war is the wrong path." It was the Service Committee's second delivery of the peace petitions in Washington, bringing the total to 50,000 who have signed the call to bring the troops home. They have called for a complete withdrawal of troops from Iraq. While in Washington, the Service Committee, a peace organization founded in 1917, hoped to convey to Senate offices its determination to continue to oppose more war funding and demonstrate growing support for a diplomatic - rather than military - solution to the conflict. The visit coincided with U.S. Senate approval of the "Supplemental Appropriations Bill", which provides continued funding for the Iraq war. The petition effort is part of the "Wage Peace Campaign". More than 50,000 people across the country are now wearing blue "Wage Peace" bracelets. Approximately 120,000 have viewed its two-minute on-line movie.
B.S. Alert: What's Going on With Tom and Katie
by Jerry Hinkle, Publisher Holabird Advocate
Whenever I think that the Holabird Advocate B.S. detector is broken, I turn the TV to Doprah Winbag and wait. Sure enough, Tom Cruise was plugging his next big box office bomb "War of the Worlds". The B.S. readings? Off the charts, Bub, off the cussed charts. The usually private Cruise was just about to venture into the "Too much information" category with new "Romance" Katie Holmes. Nobody has yet figured out that this relationship was announced just before the publicity tour for his movie was to begin. Well, nobody but me anyway. Is Katie appearing in anything? Time will tell. Cruise was laying it on a little thick, I thought. Yet Doprah and her trained clapping seals ate it up. Are they really that ignorant, or do they get paid to do that?
Like I said, this new movie of Tom Cruise's will be a bomb. It may blow up in his face, too. Katie's young though, she'll find real love someday. By the way, Katie, I'm younger and a whole lot better looking that he is. Think about it, and dye your hair Atomic Orange when you're ready to make the get away. Too bad Tom's still in the closet. He could marry Rosie O' Donnell.

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