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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!


Thursday, January 31, 2013
 

Schools Out For Wind Chill Break

     The Kornfield County area called off school everywhere except for MTI. At one time last night there it was a done chilling -13 reported. During the 6am hour, a -28 degree windchill was reported on the radio.Despite the weather, the Mitchell Public Library had their Pre-K Storytime, because kids showed up for it. That's dedication for ya!
DWU held their Thursday morning Campus Worship service. Our Publisher went to the service to see if they were having it, and to hear Dr. Allen give the sermon he rehearsed at the Core Group meeting last night in case they did. It was rather heartwarming to see that not only was the worship service held, but it was very well attended.
At noon, the wind Chill warning became an advisory, which will expire at midnight if nothing changes. The windy cold weather reminded our Publisher of the times he had to thaw out water tanks back on the Ponderosa to give the cattle a drink. Someone else has that job now, All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that whoever it is does a good job!

Publisher has Reservations

Yesterday, Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle called the Chamber of Commerce to get a reservation to the Town Hall meeting that Representative Kristi Noem is hosting tomorrow morning. It will be a busy morning for him, as he has to pay rent, and then have breakfast at the South McDonald's hopefully the weather will cooperate with him too.





Wednesday, January 30, 2013
 

It's Getting Cold Out There-So Put on All Your Clothes

Another artic blast of winter is blowing through Mitchell. at 6am, it was 18 degrees. By the time we got the home office opened at 10, it was 11 degrees. At least it's above zero today. By all reports, tomorrow the temps will not be able to climb above zero, so enjoy the warm weather while you can!

Noem to Hold Town Hall

Word came yesterday that Representative Kristi Noem Will be hosting a town hall meeting at the Highland Conference Center Friday morning at 10:30am. Our Publisher is currently wondering if he should book a reservation to this deal. He is leaning toward doing just that, mostly because he missed meeting John Thune. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate feel that the best way to find out what our hired help is doing is to here it from them when they aren't up for re-election. The bonus here is that there will be other people who have issues and concerns, and he'd like to here what they have on their minds as well!

Gomer Pyle Gets Married-to a Feller?

Jim Nabors, who delighted America as Gomer Pyle in two different CBS TV shows, has always been the subject of speculation, as to whether or not he was gay. now that he has married his male companion of 38 years in Seattle,Washington. Friends and co-workers knew about this part of his life. The general public, however, never knew for sure until now. There were whispers about this that reached all the way to Holabird and beyond. As the years went by fewer and fewer people cared. As for all of us here at the Holabird Advocate, we who were fans of his still are, and we join the rest of his fans in wishing he, and his husband well.






Tuesday, January 29, 2013
 

Winter Storm Georgina Aftermath

Despite being promised 3 inches of snow, it appears that Winter Storm Georgina only delivered enough snow to make the downtown gift shops look like gingerbread houses. There had been no official word on how much snow made it to the ground last night and this morning.
Meanwhile, the Holabird area has had reports from The Nemec Ranch of at least 8 inches, while the Ponderosa only claims 6 inches. Time to dust off the snowmobiles!





Monday, January 28, 2013
 

Fog, Rain, Sleet and Snow on the Same Day?

     A heavy blanket of fog hung over the City of Mitchell last night, and the fog didn't lift until 10 am this morning. A freezing rain is expected to turn into sleet and then at about 6pm Winter storm Georgina will begin, bringing with it about 3 inches of estimated snow. Our Publisher walked to the home office, because he didn't have anywhere else to go, but he did wear his good winter coat. Y'all be careful out there!

Guns in School

     There is a House bill coming up for consideration in the South Dakota Legislature on Friday that allows school boards to have people such as teachers, administrators, or other staff armed in the school. So far, it appears that both of the District 20 representatives have indicated they are not likely to vote for this measure. As for all of us here at the Holabird Advocate, we are on the fence on this issue.

Friendship, Love, and Marriage by Jerry Hinkle

     When I logged on to Facebook a few days ago, I had a notification informing me that my cousin Anne was getting married. As it happens, her parents are away in Tanzania, so the timing was suspicious. Of course Anne is way over 21, so if she wants to get married, that's all on her. I do have to wonder if she knows what marriage is all about. It's been said  "love is blind, but marriage is one heck of an eye opener".
     Then I remembered watching a video with one of my Wesleyan. He was in Las Vegas with his lady-friend, and they went to the Stratosphere, a place where you jump something like 884 feet to the ground and land safely , without bones breaking and all of that. He did all right, but it took his young lady a while to get talked into it. She was afraid, but she took the plunge, which is what Vegas is all about. Life is a gamble in Vegas! Interstingly enough, He took that gal to Vegas and didn't even marry her. Oh well!
As for me my Facebook marriage to the chick I never met was as close as I care to get married. I remember when I was growing, Grandad was trying to get me out of bed because we had work to do. but it was 7am and still dark. Didn't matter to Grandad. He kept on me, saying "Someday you'll met a sweet little gal, get married and have 3 kids and you'll have to get out of bed!" Turns out he was wrong about that, because I never did find anyone that I wanted to wake up at 7am so I could go to work. But as I look back on it, He did, and so did my dad. I sure am glad that they did!
     Yesterday at Fusion, the Pastor said that despite what we see on TV, married men are happier than single men. I suppose that's possible. Still I have no problem believing Al Bundy can't wait to get out of bed and away from Peg. But there was more. Pastor Vetter talked of friendship. I recall, how it was said "It is not good for man to be alone", and I'll be it is not fun for a woman either. Jesus said to love God, and love your neighbor. Since the beginning of time we as humans were built to be social, which makes me wonder why I prefer solitude.
     Truth is friendship is slightly easier for me. There's no pressure to impress anyone. Love takes a little more work than that. I asked my mother how to I could impress the ladies, and she told me "Be yourself". Yeah, I should have known she was lying-then again she IS a lady, and I can't blame her for not giving away the state secrets of her gender. But I have noticed that quite a few of the ladies that I tried to impress back when I was young, and even some when I got old have become friends of mine on Facebook, Some of whom actually sent me the request. Boy was I shocked. So I suppose there is some merit into being yourself. The best part is, when I get tired of seeing them, I can turn of my computer. Try doing that with a wife. Actually I did that too, and she divorced me 3 days later. Having old flames cool into warm friendships may not seem like a good thing, but it's better than having a cold ememyship! God be with you and do the best you can!





Friday, January 25, 2013
 

Coming to a McDonald's Near You-Fish McBites

     Last year McDonald's added  a menu item called Chicken McBites that attracted the attention of our Publisher until he actually tried them. Next month, possibly around the start of the Lenten season, McD's is going to unveil Fish McBites. They will be made from the same Alaskan Pollack that the Fillet-O-Fish are made from. The Fish McBites will come in 3 different sizes and will only be available for a limited time.
     Sales at the fast food giant are said to be slowing, this offering is hoped to improve them, but according to reports, the CEO is not expecting this to be an easy year.

Faking Love by Jerry Hinkle

     For reasons that I don't quite understand, there are a lot of people who are following the story of the Notre Dame football player who had the dead girlfriend that didn't exist. I'm inclined to believe that he's not the only one. In fact I know he isn't because the something like that happened to me. I met someone on Facebook, we chatted occasionally, and then got married. The funny thing was we never even met each other. Everything was going fine until 3 days later when she changed her FB status. I didn't see it coming! So, I guess I can kind of sympathize with this football player. Then again it is kinda funny when it's not happening to you!






Thursday, January 24, 2013
 

Computer Glitch Delays TV Show

The Debut of the Jerry Hinkle Program has been interrupted due to the hard drive on the Dell computer belonging to Producer/Director and Star of the show, Jerry Hinkle being fried. Our technical engineer, Scotty, estimates that repairs will take 5-7 business days. Good thing we haven't booked the trip to Vern Eide yet!

Publisher Goes on Wesleyan Adventure

     Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle is always on the lookout for something to do when not on the job. Today he went to Campus Worship at DWU because it was the first time he's had Thursday morning off for a while, which is a good reason to praise Jesus!
It's always interesting for Jerry to notice the subtle changes around campus every time he makes a visit, and he also enjoys the way some things don't change. He was thrown for a loop when one of the staff members called him "Richard", but tried very hard to not let it show.






Wednesday, January 23, 2013
 

Publisher Goes on Working Vacation

     Our courageous Dynamic Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, has 2.5 days away from his paying job, so he will be able to spend more time here at the home office and chasing down stories or thinking up adventures to write about. So far there hasn't been very much. A man stopped by the office a few days back to see if Jerry could act as his internet consultant. He was due to show up today, but the gentleman's wife is in the Hospital. Also one of Jerry's Wesleyan brothers has asked him to stop by Vern Eide to check out a new car that is on sale for less than $13,000. If he can find time, we just might film that as a segment for the Jerry Hinkle Program on YouTube

CherryBerry Yogurt Bar is Chill

     Jerry also found time to visit the CherryBerry Yogurt Bar. It was 8 degrees with a wind chill of -25 below, so as you can imagine, there wasn't much of a crowd. A young, possibly married couple was there with a young boy who may have been their son. In any case he was a very well behaved young man. The young lady at the counter explained the procedure to Jerry. There is a wide selection of yogurts from which to choose, all self service. there is also a fine selection of toppings. Once the customer gets done filling the bowl, it is weighed, and the customer pays 42 cents an ounce. Jerry bought $7 worth of yogurt and when he left he was still a little hungry. First World hungry that is!

Inauguration Yays and Nays by Jerry Hinkle

This is a new segment that I've devised as a way of review, I hope y'all like it!
Yay: To the process, outlined by the Constitution, that we install a President every 4 years or whenever a vacancy is created. Our nation is one of very few that have had 225 years of peaceful transitions of power
and even though President Obama wasn't voted in by everyone, he is still our President, like it or not.
Yay: To using 2 Bibles and adding "So help me God' to the oath. There has been some controversy as to whether or not George Washington was the first to add those words and as an encore, kiss the Bible. I'm glad President Obama adhered to that tradition as far as he did. It was a nice touch to borrow Bibles from Abe Lincoln and Martin Luther King.
Yay: To the music. From Beyonce's performance of our National Anthem, which even lip synced is better than most people can sing anyhow, to the Brooklyn Tabernacle choir's "Battle Hymn of the Republic", and Kelly Clarkson with "My Country 'Tis of Thee". Each of these performances were very moving and stirred up a feeling of American pride inside me.
Nay: To Katy Perry's improper choice of song to sing in front of children. It was bad enough she dressed as awfully as she did, then she did that nightmare of a song. That was one YouTube video that I was glad to end prematurely.
Yay:To the speech that President Obama made. Parts of it reminded me of some of the reasons I voted for him-the first time. Did I agree with it? Not totally, but still a good speech! The bit about global warming gave me a chuckle, since it was 8 degrees with a -25 wind chill in beautiful downtown Mitchell at that time. if he gives the same speech in July, I'd be more inclined to agree! 
Nay: To the 6 minute poem. Call me old fashioned, but poetry has to rhyme for me to enjoy it, or it's just another short story!
This is just my analysis. I may have missed some things and added some other things. In any case feel free to let me know what you gave a Yay or nay to, and I might share it with the rest! God be with you and do the best you can!





Monday, January 21, 2013
 

Obama's Inauguration Show

     All of us here at the Holabird Advocate have been watching the inauguration festivities with a certain amount of interest. Whether or not one voted for him, it's important to note that Obama is the only President we have. As such we, as good citizens need to at least observe the goings on, mainly because we are paying for it, and will continue to do so for a while. Reports of 800,000-1,000,000 people watched and are watching events transpire live
The music for this event from Beyonce, the Brooklyn Choir, and even Kelly Clarkson should make us all proud to be American. It was also interesting to see the President renew his vows to America using bibles borrowed from both Martin Luther King and Abe Lincoln. And despite reports to the contrary, Obama said "So help me God" at the end of his oath.
     A while back, Jimmy Kimmel did a "man on the street" interview where he asked people to name their representative in Congress, and they couldn't do it! Yet some of them were able to identify members of the cast  of "Jersey Shore", or who Honey Boo Boo is, and THAT, the could do.

Publisher Plans to Belly up

For a while now, Jerry Hinkle, our courageous dynamic, Publisher, had planned on checking out the CherryBerry Yogurt bar just on the edge of South Mitchell. The fact that it in the temperature is in the single digits outside has not dampened his curiosity. If he gets all his work done, hopefully he'll be able to get out there before the place closes at 9pm!





Sunday, January 20, 2013
 

Winter Storm Freddy Passes Mitchell

     About 2 inches of snow fell on Mitchell's doorstep this morning causing many to skip church, Our Publisher made his way to both the Methodist service downtown and Fusion, however. The Sun was out briefly as well this afternoon.

Obama Swears In Again

     It was reported that President Obama retook his oath of office this morning. His original oath expires today because January 20th is Inauguration Day. The fact that it's Sunday seems to make some feel as though the ceremony could not be public. Reagan was reported to have done something like that on his second inauguration in 1985. Back when the traditional inauguration day was March 4. Zachary Taylor didn't even bother to be sworn in until the next day because it fell on a Sunday, which made David Rice Atchinson a footnote in history.
Those who did not see the private ceremony will be about to see the public spectacle tomorrow. There will be all kinds of celebrations that anyone so inclined can see on the TV channel of their choice.





Wednesday, January 16, 2013
 

Obama Speaks on Gun Control

Earlier today, President Barrack Obama made a speech outlining proposals to reduce gun violence, including a push to renew the ban on assault weapons, require more expansive background checks of gun buyers and  a 10 round limit on ammunition clips. There are 23 separate proposals in all which our Publisher tried to read, but it they just too tedious and boring, so we won't bother to print them out here.

Holabird Advocate Breaks Record

     All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are well pleased that news of Brittany Hinkle's 3rd place finish in Denver made last Monday's issue the most popular post relaunch issue with 20 visitors. This may seem like a small thing to celebrate, but we've come to realize that the heyday of blogging makes it so that me must celebrate these little moments. Unless somebody else gets cancer, we'll never see 96 hits like we did for Hunter Mees Day. We'd lot rather celebrate a 3rd place finish than a life threatening illness

Tax submitted by Daniel L. Miller

Tax his land,Tax his bed,
Tax the table, At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes, Are the rule.
... Tax his work, Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts anyway!
Tax his cow,Tax his goat,
Tax his pants, Tax his coat.
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt,
Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink,
Tax him if he Tries to think.
Tax his cigars, Tax his beers,
If he cries Tax his tears.
Tax his car, Tax his gas,
Find other ways To tax his ass.
Tax all he has Then let him know
That you won't be done Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers;Then tax him some more,
Tax him till He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in Which he's laid...
Put these words Upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me to my doom...'
When he's gone, Do not relax,
Its time to apply The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Sales Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What in the heck happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'





Monday, January 14, 2013
 

Here Comes the Judge

     Holabird's own Brittany Hinkle placed 3rd at the national 4-H horse Judging competition in Denver this weekend. We would have reported this earlier, but we were trying to upload a photo of her with her ribbons but the darn computer would not cooperate. We elected to give up before somebody picked up the computer and throw it at the wall (which of course would void the warranty)
     Brittany comes by her horse judging acumen honestly, as her great great grandfather, Charlie Goehring had one of the best horse ranches in Hyde County back when horse power stood for something. it's good to know that some family traditions still live on. Of course she must also be studying up on the modern standards as well. the most important thing to remember is that there are only 2 people in this whole country that know more about horses than she does. Nobody else can say that!
Congrats Brit!

Corn De-icer Working Nicer

There have been reports that the ice storms have had a lingering effect on the highways because strong winds have been preventing the salt that the Highway Department use to make the roads less slippery from being applied properly. This does not seem to be a problem for Mitchell. The roads are not as slick as they have been, although at first glance they have an icy appearance. The secret is corn, at least it tastes like corn to our Publisher. Before anyone writes in, he didn't lick the road! He rubbed his finger on the road, and then he licked his finger. He's not totally crazy, just a little bit!





Sunday, January 13, 2013
 

Publisher Goes on an Adventure

     Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, knows that sometimes the best way to get things to happen in life, one has to make them happen. Jerry can't always rely on just falling into a good story. Sometimes one has to chase it down. 
     With that in mind, he left the comfort of beautiful downtown Mitchell and ventured up into North Mitchell to see what was shaking. His first stop as Coburn's, a store that is part of a small chain in South Dakota. There is another one in Huron, or at least there was. On the way up there, he saw that the Burger King, which had been demolished, had been rebuilt since he's been that way last several months ago. More about that later.
     Now as you know, when real men shop, they don't always buy something. As it happens, Jerry didn't grab a cart. He is more likely to buy something if he grabs a cart. As he explored the store, he saw all kinds of exotic seafood, such as stuffed crab and tilapia. He also saw some bacon wrapped pork loin. But it wasn't until he saw a 45 oz. tub of generic "Can't believe it's not butter"  type sandwich spread. He picked it up, along with some generic garlic flavored lunch meat. he carried them both throughout the duration of his jaunt, until arriving at his ultimate destination, the checkout counter. Jerry paid with cash, because the last time he bought something at Coburn's with a check, and the clerk wanted to see his drivers license right after the bagger said, "Would you like to use our pick-up service, Jerry?" and the shock of the bagger knowing who he was, while the clerk did not was too much for him. It was less of a hassle to peel off some cash!
     After placing the purchased item in the trunk of his car, because when it is 8 degrees outside, Jerry doesn't have to worry that anything will melt. Then he headed toward Burger King, where he ordered an Italian chicken sandwich meal. It was a relaxing end to a very exciting afternoon!

Church Throws Benefit Talent Show 

     FUMC in Mitchell is putting on a talent show this afternoon at 4pm to help fund part of the Youth mission to Kentucky later on this year. Even though our Publisher is not a member of that church, he has elected to support their efforts. It is Jerry's understanding that people of all ages are able to participate. However the only talent he will display is writing out a check for an amount which will not be made public. 





Saturday, January 12, 2013
 

Gil Koetzle Dead at 60

     The Argus Leader reports that former legislator Gil Koetzle died Thursday. Those so inclined as to why this happened can read all about it in that newspaper. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate were shocked and saddened to here of his passing, as well as the events that led up to it. We will always remember his outspoken support for the hardworking people of South Dakota. We will also keep his family in our prayers and hope all of you Readers do the same!

Winter Storm Elly May Brings Back Cold

     The residents of Kornfield County had been kind of spoiled with the temperatures in the 35-42 degree range, but winter storm Elly May brought with it some freezing rain and some very sticky snow along with it. Driving in that took a little getting used to for some folks. There were a few accidents reported in the Mitchell area last night. Our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, spent quite a while last night and this morning scraping ice from his car. After leaving his paying job, instead of going to the Ramada, he went straight home, popped some corn, and watched "Left Behind" before going to bed.
     While the corn was popping, Jerry called the Ponderosa to see how everyone there was, and his mother, Mary Hinkle reported that Maurice and Marilyn Ham stopped by for a visit before the weather got nasty in Holabird, and decided to stay. No word on if they brought their work clothes.






Wednesday, January 09, 2013
 

70 Year Old Man and 15 Year Old Wife Divorce

     All of us here at the Holabird Advocate, and several others around the world were spellbound  by the story of the 70 year old man who married a 15 year old girl that he bought from her parents for $20,000. Yesterday it was reported that she ran away! A day later we find out that the man and his child bride are divorcing and that all parties involved are settling the affair amicably. Hopefully that poor old man will get his money back! For a minute there, we had the beginning of a rather funny sitcom idea!

Never Stop Learning by Jerry Hinkle

     I got an email expressing concern that I enjoy arguing politics with my dad. To clarify, the reason it's fun is because when it stops being fun, I stop. The past 5 years where I have been away from the Ponderosa has shown my that there are more important things that winning argument, or trying to do the same.
One of the things I learned at DWU was just to present facts and leave emotion out of the discussion.         

     Whenever I have the urge to insult my dad's intelligence, I back up beforehand and see if I can find another route. Fact is in the 5 years I've been gone, it is amazing how much smarter he's become. It's like what Mark Twain said “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.” I'm glad it only took mine 5 years!

     Another thing I've learned is that my dad is really good at faking stupidity. Once my mother told him she had spam on her computer and he said "That's what you get for not eating at the table". Watching the Colbert Report has given him a sense of humor I guess! Either that or not having me around constantly being funny! Arguing is like a sport with us Hinkles, the trick is making sure it doesn't become a full contact sport!





Tuesday, January 08, 2013
 

Holabird Advocate Wishes All Happy Elvismas

It was 78 years ago that Vernon and  Gladys Presley welcomed twin boys into the world, Jesse didn't make it, but his brother Elvis outlived him by more than 42 years and made a big impact on the world during his lifetime. Even today people claim Elvis lives, because they just can't bear the thought of someone that good not being with us anymore. Happy Birthday Elvis!

Giffords and Husband Say "Enough"

The gun control issue just isn't going away. In an interesting bit of timing, today is also the second anniversary of when Representative Gabby Giffords was shot. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate watched part of her interview with poor excuse for a journalist, Diane Sawyer. From what we saw, both Giffords and her American hero hubby claim to both be gun owners and supporters of the 2nd amendment. They also claim that congress has not done enough to stop gun violence in this country. Apparently the Brady bill, which Bill Clinton claimed would be the magic cure-all for this problem isn't doing the job. So what is the solution? We are just as stymied to find an answer as everyone else. looks like we'll have to keep asking the question until someone comes up with the answer!

70 Year Old Man Marries 15 Year Old Girl by Stacy Carey

     A man, 70, married a 15-year-old in Saudi Arabia, but then complained to local officials that the family had ripped him off in the deal they made. CNN reported the details Jan. 8 of the situation that has caught the attention of human rights workers and many worried about the continuing issues around the world with child marriage. The man refused to give his name to CNN, but said that the girl's family had sold her to him for an amount of about $20,000.
     According to CNN, the man complained to a local official after he says the girl's family took her back. The man, 70, married the 15-year-old girl who is said to be from the Al-Hurath village in the Jizan province of Saudi Arabia. The human rights workers told CNN that they don't believe the man's account in its entirety. They believe the man and the teen had a fight, and she went back to her family on her own. They are reaching out to her in hopes they can offer help to her. Despite the enormous age difference and accusations that the girl was sold to the man, she will have to go to court to formally dispute the marriage.
     At this time there is no minimum age requirement for marriage in Saudi Arabia, though there are groups that have tried to push through and advocate that something be set. Conservative religious scholars in the area have opposed this. This report has definitely upset many on Twitter, who find it abominable that all of the adults involved in this situation let this happen to the young girl. Though there are no names publicly released, people hope that human rights workers are able to connect with the young girl and help her resolve these issues. Many are shocked that it is possible for a 70-year-old man to marry a 15-year-old girl when it seems it is not what she wants.





Monday, January 07, 2013
 

America Flu the Coop

     All of us here at the Holabird Advocate have been observing the panic over the latest flu outbreak with a mixture of amusement and concern. The big question all over the country seems to be, "Did you get your flu shot?" One woman that we saw on Facebook replied "Yes I did! If you didn't stay away from me!" This caused us to chuckle just a tad, because she had a flu shot, but is afraid to be around people that haven't. Sound like she wasted the $5 if that's all the faith she has in her flu shot. It's like she's saying that the flu shot is like the insurance you buy, then when you put in a claim, it's no good.
     We are concerned to see, however, that the nationwide scope of the current outbreak is being caused by a strain of flu that isn't covered in this year's flu shot (more insurance talk). All of us here at the Holabird Advocate have never quite trusted the flu shot. Our Publisher's Grandma, Bergit Hinkle always got the flu after getting her flu shot, as do so many others. The media likes to say that the flu is worse without the shot than with it, But our Publisher will take his chances. He elects to "Pray the flu away" using Psalm 91, and has only had the flu once in 20 years. Of course should any of you Readers try that, your results may vary.

Kansas Cats in the Cradle

Earlier this year we reported on a city in Kansas that limited the number of cats to 4 per household. Why would anyone want more than that number. On the farm, yes, they keep the mice and rats occupied. In the city 5 cats in one house seems excessive. In fact the city of Wellington, Kansas had to put 231 stray cats to sleep last year.

Publisher's Notes by Jerry Hinkle

I'd like to take time out to let everyone know that in case you were offended by anything you read here, be glad you never see what I decline to put in here. I have many ideas that never make it to the front page. One such thing was a real war on women to make fun of the liberal claim that the Republicans were waging one. Of course, I pulled back when I realized that over half of my audience was female, and a good many of them might not see through the satire. Also family get togethers would be less awkward because my mother, her 4 sisters, my 5 nieces, and the legion of girl cousins might slip some milk of magnesia in my coffee, or when I'm not ready, give me a spinning back kick to the groin. Take my word for it, anyone who truly wages a war on women will lose. Take Chuck Norris. People think he's invincible. The reason? Ne never fights with a woman! As Grandma used to tell Grandad, "You can be right or you can be happy"
I was also going to write about another example of how the poor are not getting poorer. I was going to recall that my mother's family was so poor that her younger sister got married in "her" wedding dress. I changed my mind about slanting the story that way because back in the 60's it was a more pratical time. Kids didn't need their own bedroom back then, so perhaps, since Mom's parents already paid for the dress, they gave it a second showing. Mom and Aunt Jo had to share so much growing up, and the dress was just one more thing. One of the laidies I work with is getting a $500 dress, and speaks of it as if it is nothing. Yes indeed, a lot has changed in 50 years! God be with you and do the best you can!





Sunday, January 06, 2013
 

Gun Control Debate on Facebook

     All of us here at the Holabird Advocate were shocked, but in the good way, when an innocent little status on our Publisher's Facebook page started a spirited debate between 2 mild mannered grandmothers this afternoon. The discussion ended in a stalemate it it wouldn't surprise any of us here at the Holabird Advocate if these two ended up becoming good friends. As it happens they are both living in the Pacific time zone, and if Corvallis, Oregon and Pasco,Washington are even decently close. They may be able to have coffee together. as spirited as the discussion was, it never got nasty or personal. A real credit to all Holabird Advocate Readers everywhere!
     The whole thing started when our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, set up a zinger with the set up that 75% of NRA members are in favor of sensible gun control, then when someone replied to that status, he delivered the punchline that their idea of sensible gun control was "using both hands and taking careful aim". In retrospect, he should have added "and not killing people", which we are sure is the case!

Gun Control in the Big City

It has come to our attention that it is illegal to discharge a firearm in the city limits of Mitchell, although we can neither confirm nor deny that at this time. This is one reason that none of us here at the Holabird Advocate bring guns into Mitchell. What's the use of having one if you can't use it? As it happens, there is nothing to hunt in the big city except for bargains and squirrels, and a 30-06 is not needed for that!

Xanadu Rehearsals Begins Tonight

And now for something cheerful! It's been reported that the DWU Theatre will begin rehearsals for the spring musical production of "Xanadu". This is an event that our Publisher looks forward to every year, because it gives him an excuse to put on his suit and tie so he can pretend to be someone important. It doesn't always work though. Last year somebody thought he was a faculty member!





Saturday, January 05, 2013
 

New Years Fighting in Mitchell

     As many as 14 people were reported to have been involved in a fight in downtown Mitchell about an hour or two into the new year. According to the Daily Republic, there have been 2 arrests in connection to the fight, which was reported to have occurred behind a local bar, just how far behind it seems to be  a matter of contention. Our Publisher has been to this particular drinking establishment a few times, and never saw a fight. The weapon of choice at this altercation seems to have been brick, which our personal investigation showed to be readily accessible from a construction site near the bar mentioned by the paper.

New Laws in the Land

With the new year, comes new laws. Among them is a ban on selling shark fins in Illinois. It's also against the law to own more than 4 cats in in Wellington, Kansas. Maryland has made it a crime to put arsenic in chicken feed. But perhaps the most intersting law is from Kentucky. It is illegal to turn wild hogs loose into the Kentucky wilderness. Bring them to South Dakota! We have barbeque sauce here!





Wednesday, January 02, 2013
 

                                    Happy Belated Holidays

     All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are sorry that other things had forced us to close the home office yesterday on both New Years Day, and our own 11th Anniversary. We hope that every Reader out there enjoyed saying so long to 2012 and welcomed 2013 at the stroke midnight in a safe and legal manner. Our Publisher invited his Next door neighbor, Jane, to the Ramada, but she had to wash her hair. She must have washed it good, because she was a redhead, but the next morning she was a bleach blonde.
     The budget committee at Flexcor met this morning and approved the purchase of a video camera. If all goes well, which woulf kinda be a first around here, we'll be bringing back the "Jerry Hinkle Program' in video form, and sharing the website that way. Hopefully Warning Salsa will sponsor the show once the pilot is filmed and uploaded.

    

                     The Stranger submitted by Mary Hinkle

     A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey.
     But the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.
     Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
     Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions,but the stranger never felt obligated to honour them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home - not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our long time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol but the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
     I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked ... And NEVER asked to leave.
     More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.
     His name?.... We just call him 'TV.' He has a wife now....we call her 'Computer.' Their first child is "Cell Phone". Second child "I Pod " And JUST BORN THIS YEAR WAS a Grandchild: IPAD

Hugh Hefner Marries Third Wife

Playboy founder and owner, Hugh Heffner, married his third wife over the weekend. It's reported that the honeymoon for the 84 year old Hef and his much younger bride clocked in at under 4 hours, so no doctors had to be notified!





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