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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Obama Speaks on Gun Control

Earlier today, President Barrack Obama made a speech outlining proposals to reduce gun violence, including a push to renew the ban on assault weapons, require more expansive background checks of gun buyers and  a 10 round limit on ammunition clips. There are 23 separate proposals in all which our Publisher tried to read, but it they just too tedious and boring, so we won't bother to print them out here.

Holabird Advocate Breaks Record

     All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are well pleased that news of Brittany Hinkle's 3rd place finish in Denver made last Monday's issue the most popular post relaunch issue with 20 visitors. This may seem like a small thing to celebrate, but we've come to realize that the heyday of blogging makes it so that me must celebrate these little moments. Unless somebody else gets cancer, we'll never see 96 hits like we did for Hunter Mees Day. We'd lot rather celebrate a 3rd place finish than a life threatening illness

Tax submitted by Daniel L. Miller

Tax his land,Tax his bed,
Tax the table, At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes, Are the rule.
... Tax his work, Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts anyway!
Tax his cow,Tax his goat,
Tax his pants, Tax his coat.
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt,
Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink,
Tax him if he Tries to think.
Tax his cigars, Tax his beers,
If he cries Tax his tears.
Tax his car, Tax his gas,
Find other ways To tax his ass.
Tax all he has Then let him know
That you won't be done Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers;Then tax him some more,
Tax him till He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in Which he's laid...
Put these words Upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me to my doom...'
When he's gone, Do not relax,
Its time to apply The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Sales Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What in the heck happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'

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