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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Saturday, May 31, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5R AUDIOBLOGGER FINISHED BEFORE IT STARTED The AudioBlogger testing that was to start at noon today has been terminated. It was discovered that the service would cost $3/month. Because of the expense, we could not justify any expermentation at this time. tin this edition of the Holabird Advocate, there will be a Poetry Corner with the poem that Jerry Hinkle was going to recite. DON'T CALL HIM HE'LL CALL YOU-MAYBE Harold Hinkle's new digital cell phone has one more little quirk. Nobody can call him. He can call out, but can't recieve incoming calls. Well, at least he doesn't have to worry about those tele-marketers calling him at all hours of the day. POETRY CORNER "Mary Had a Little Lamb (Without the Letter S)" by A Ross Eckler Mary had a little lamb With fleece a pale white hue, And everywhere that Mary went The lamb kept her in view; To academe it fallowed her, Illegal, and quite rare; It made the children laugh and play To view a lamb in there. Friday, May 30, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5Q DOCTOR IS HOPEFUL FOR BRITTANY HINKLE For a couple of weeks Brittany Hinkle has been sick from something that hasn't been able to be pinned down. That is, until now. On her last visit to the clinic an examination of Brit's head showed a sinus infection behind the ear causing a build up of fluid. She has been treated with Augmentin, but because the White Bloodcell Count went from 12,000 to 16,000, she is being switched to Cipro. When Kristi asked if Cipro was safe, she was told that 2 year-old anthrax patients were given Cipro with no ill effects. It's not a cure, but everyone is hopeful that Brit will be the same old kid, or at least as close as she can get. HAROLD HINKLE HAS A NEW TOY With cell phone technology constanly changing, Harold Hinkle has decieded to go digital. He purchased a Nokia phone with 100 number memory, a choice of 40 different rings, voicemail, and numerous other bells and whistles. Trouble is the darn thing cuts in and out, and sometimes cuts him off in mid conversation. He also has to go through all kinds of steps just to make a phone call. This prompted Jerry to say to Harold and Mary that he thought the phone was made of solid waste(not exactly in those words either). THE VANILLA BEAN AMERICA'S NEW COMEBACK KID by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate What is it about vanilla? It seems to be everywhere these days. When I was a kid everyone but chocolate syrup, hot fudge, butterschotch, strawberries, rasperries, M&Ms, and even candy sprinkles in Vanilla ice cream. The Coca Cola Company have Vanilla Coke, a beverage that I find obnoxiously putrid and just plain rotten. In their advertising, Coke shows that Mafia types have to threaten people to drink it and endorse it (let's hope i don't find a horses head in bed with me tomorrow morning). Nestle's Quick has chocolate powder, strawberry powder, an up until a few years ago, there was a root beer flavored Quick. A survey was just released that revealed that vanilla was the most popular ice cream flavor. Of course, there's five different kinds of it. Thursday, May 29, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5P BOB HOPE TURNS 100 It was on May 28, 1903 that Robert Leslie Hope made is way into the world. Born in a suburb of London, England, he moved to the U.S. with his family a few years later. He worked his way up the vaudeville circut to be a featured attraction. Then came radio, movies and television. Perhaps Hope's greatest achievement was as head of the USO, where he and his company of players provided armed services personnel with a welcome diversion from the horrors of war. BRITTANY HINKLE SUFFERS FROM MYSTERY ILLNESS Off and on for the past couple of weeks, Brittany hinkle has been feeling not at all well. She has been running a high fever and complaining of stomach and throat pain. Harold hinkle, who sports no medical degree of any sort, blames it on her pierced ears. She is being treated for an infection caused by that event. Kristi has been taking her to the clinic in Highmore semi-regularly. AUDIOBLOGGER TEST TO START EARLY Originaly we were going to begin testing for AudioBlogger on June 2, but because of the pro bono help of a couple of tech support guys codenamed Iceberg and Cold Fusion ( a couple of cool customers) we will start the expermint on Saturday, May 30. We do expect to know by Monday if it is feasible. If we are successful, Publisher Jerry Hinkle will recite the poem "Mary Had a Little Lamb Without the Letter S". HENRY SINGLE NAMED "2003 FREEDOM FIGHTER" by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate The American Legion Frank Vopat Post #35 has given longtime resident Henry Single the "2003 Freedom Fighter" award because ofhis courage andcapability during World war II. Henry served in the war as a mechanic in the U.S. Army, where he was awarded many medals, Among them were: the Purple Heart and the much sought after Good Conduct Medal. Henry told me about one experience he had in Italy after the war was over. There was much dancing and celebrating as you can imagine. One gal that he was dancing with held him just a little too close for comfort and said, "Marry me!". Henry was taken by surprise. She spoke again, "Marry me! Take me New York!". Henry got way from her her and rightly so. Henry still loves to dance. He and his wife of 56 years, have made themselves a good home here in Holabird. They have three children, seven grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. On behalf of the staff and all of the Readers of the Holabird Advocate, I, Jerry Hinkle, the couageous, dynamic Publisher give best wishes and congratutations and the gratitations of a greatful community, nation and world to Henry Single. I'm proud to have Henry as a neighbor and friend. Wednesday, May 28, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5O W SIGNS $350 BILLION TAX CUT Some call it tax cuts for the rich, some call it an economic stimulus package. It is now the law of the land. It wasn't an easy thing to move through the Senate, either. It took a tie-breaking vote from Vice-president Richard Cheney to get it through. Simply put 50 Senators who make a six figure income don't believe that the tax payers don't deserve a break. They aren't the only ones. One of the most vocal critic of this tax cut package is Warren Buffet, known on Wall Street as "the Oracle from Omaha". Buffet, who is the second richest man in this whole United States. At last count his fortune was around $36 Billion, give or take a bit. Perhaps if Mr. Buffet can't use the money he stands to save on taxes, he'll find someone who needs the money and helpthem pay their taxes. Oh by the way, the richest man is a loyal friend and true to the Holabird Advocate, and the brains behind our favorite search engine. Bill Gates of Microsoft. His fortune stands at around $43 Billion. He hasn't said "BOO" about the tax cuts, but his father has comne out against them. Kinda makes you wonder what they know that the rest of us don't. CO-ED FOOTBALL COULD COME TO SOUTH DAKOTA The South Dakota High School Activities Association has made it possible for girls to join the boys on the gridiron. That is, unless, there is a girls football team. Well well well and well, first Annika Sorenstam and now this. But you know, girls, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate suppost this decision. If you want to play football, just go to it, girls. You have our blessing and full support. Just don't come crying to us if you break anail or something, alright. As for Ms. Sorenstam, at least she beat that wimpy little Casey Martin. Don't worry, Annika, you'll get 'em next year. PAUL AND HEATHER EXPECTING Sir Paul McCartney and his wife Heather Mills-McCartney have announced that they are to be parents later this year. The 60 year old Beatle and his much younger wife were married last June. This latest development prompts all of us to ask Sir Paul's third wife, "Will you still need him, will you still feed him, when he's 64?" SOUTH DAKOTA SONGBOOK "Beautiful" Don't look at me Everyday is so wonderful Then suddenly It's hard to breathe Now and then I get insecure From all the pain I'm so ashamed I am beautiful No matter what they say Words can't bring me down I am beautiful In every single way Yes words can't bring me down Ohh no So don't you bring me down today To all your friends you're delirious You're so consumed In all your doom, ooh Trying hard to fill the emptiness The pieces gone Left the puzzle undone Is that the way it is 'Cause you are beautiful No matter what they say Words can't bring you down Ohh no 'Cause you are beautiful In every single way Yes words can't bring you down Ohh no So don't you bring me down today No matter what we do (No matter what we do) No matter what we say (No matter what we say) We're the song inside the tune (Yeah, oh yeah) Full of beautiful mistakes And everywhere we go (And everywhere we go) The sun will always shine (The sun will always, always, shine) And tomorrow we might awake On the other side 'Cause we are beautiful No matter what they say Yes words won't bring us down Ohh no We are beautiful In every single way Yes words can't bring us down Ohh no So don't you bring me down today Ooh, ohh Don't you bring me down today Don't you bring me down, ooh Today Tuesday, May 27, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5N HINKLE FAMILY HAS BIG WEEKEND A lot of things happenned over the Memorial Day Weekend. Harold and Mary put a PITA gathering together, the first one that Jerry ever missed. They found a bargin on chicken hind quarters and went hog wild on it. Harold and Mary stopped on the way home to pick up more chicken so the could grill it again at home. Harold tryed out Doug's new hamock between a couple trees that were spaced out about right. Kaitlyn decided it would be funny if she and Brittany were to tip over the whole magilla right there. As they tipped it over, the hamock gave way. Doug and Darrel both thought that there might be a need for some medical attention, but Harold managed to get up on his own. Mary managed to get the kids fishing. Brittany caught a catfish that made it to the Ponderosa alive, so Harold put it into the minnow tank. Mary and Ashley were able to catch some 16 inch walleye, which Mary fried for dinner on Tuesday. Of course, the group went to the obigatory rummage sales. Because of the Holiday weekend there were only five to go to. Doug had to drive Jamie to a dance on Saturday night only to discover that the dance had been on Friday night. On Sunday Harold and Mary watched Cade for Doug and Noel so they could go to Pierre Riggs High School graduation. Cade and Justin mostly fought with each other. When Harold and Mary got home on Monday afternoon, Jerry told them all about the .31 inches of rain that the Ponderosa recieved. He also told them that the bulls got out and ran around and had to be chased back into their pen. Lastly he told the that he went to the Luthern Church, where the only blond he talked to was his grandmother, Agnes Hahn, and then to the Methodist Church as well. DON'T EAT THE DOG FOOD It has been reported that while there has only been one recorded case of BSE in the whole of Canada, there could also be a possibility of BSE contamination in the Canadian dog food supply. If you have purchased Canadian dog food do not eat it or feed it to anyone or anything. Exactly what you can do with it is not known. HOLABIRD ADVOCATE TO EXPERMINT WITH "AUDIOBLOG" by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Effective June 2nd, The Holabird Advocate will be conducting expermints with the "AudioBlog" service that Blogger.com has. This is, providing that said service is free. Neither I nor anyone else connected to the Newsblog can promise exactly what this means to the Holabird Advocate Readership just yet. It depends a lot on the ability of your courageous, dynamic publisher to learn about MP3 techlology between now and then. Blogger.com has not come up with a "VideoBlog" yet, but I and the rest of the staff here believe that it can't be far behind. Saturday, May 24, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5M MEMORIAL WEEKEND IN FULL SWING Harold and Mary Hinkle, along with most of their children and all of their grandchildren, are at the Downsteam Oahe Campground to celebrate Memorial Day. When E.E. Hinkle was asked if he'd like to go along he said, "I would not. I couldn't sleep that close to the dam". As those who know him best could tell you, E.E. has a feeling that the Oahe Dam could bust open at any time and flood half the state, just like that Nostradamus guy predicted a few hundred years ago. This year will most likely not be that year as there have been reports of boaters getting sandbarred while going up the lazy river (and down it as well) Jerry Hinkle stayed behind as well. Not for the same reasons as his grandfather, but, as he says it,"Just because I can". Jerry isn't exactly suffering either. Word has it that he's going to Highmore early Sunday morning to see a good looking blond lady from somewhere out east before he goes to church. Jerry has been chuckling that he can get away with it because E.E. will just think he's going to Sunday School when in actuality, Sunday School is over. Nobody told this to E.E. because he doesn't go to Sunday School anyway and hasn't for some time now. CANADIANS CLAIM NO BSE IN FOOD SUPPLY Responding to the U.U. ban on Candadian beef, an official said that there has only been one case of BSE, and the meat from that animal never got to the end consumer. It has taken four months for this case to come to the light of day, however. At first, it was reported that it was thought to be a simple case of pneumonia. As it turns out that was not the case. South Dakota's congressional delegation has restated their belief in the need for COOL (Country Of Origin Labeling). Tim Johnson, The state's Junior Senator commented "This(COOL) won't stop Mad Cow Disease, but that's not the issue. The fact that consumers are currently unable to differantiate between U.S., Canada ,and other nations in unacceptable." Senior Senato Tom Dascle said," COOL should go forward. This situation underscores its importance." At Large Representitive Bill Janklow stated that the COOL measure that was passed last year should be enfored, but it won't take effect until 2004. "Why should it take two years to implement it?", he asked rhetoricly. Janklow, it should be stated climebed on the bandwagon a bit late. as govenor he saw nothing wrong with IBP "outsourcing" Canadian beef in South Dakota until he was campaigning fopr reelection in 1998. He made a big enough stink about it that he gained national media attention and was asked to run for President. Janklow also reprted that there was one case where a bull had something that looked like BSE when he was Governor. The state bought the bull, has it slaughtered and tested. Thankfully for all of us, the test came out negative. DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU WANT TO FEEL OLD Today, May 24, 2003 markes the 60th birthday of Gary Burghoff, who played Radar on MASH, both on TV and in the movie. His portayal of a young man dealing with the horrors of war was quite good. Radar's small town Iowa innocence was almost symbolic of not only the average soldier that fought and died in the Korean conflict, but American society as well. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RADAR!!! Wonder if old Radar has traded in Grape Nehi for prune juice yet. HOLABIRD ADVOCATE HOME OFFICE CLOSED ON MONDAY In observance of Memorial day, the home office of the Holabird Advocate will be closed. As it happens it is also the birthdate of John Wayne, James Arness, and Don Hinkle. All three of these men are admired by the Publisher and the staff of the Holabird Advocate. Thursday, May 22, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5L CANADIAN BEEF IS BANNED IN THE U.S.A. A cow in the Canadian province of Alberta has reportedly tested positive for BSE, commonly known as "Mad Cow Disease". Because of this The U.S.D.A. has issued a ban on Canadian beef until further testing can be done on the cattle of our neighbor to the north. BSE has not been located in American cattle as yet, but was reported in some sheep in the state of Virginia a few years back. The exact amount of Canadian beef in the American food supply is not known either. Nobody on the Pondrosa has ever actually seen a mad cow, but there was one time that a crippled heifer, which was part of the Ponderosa's herd, darn near injured Victor Nemec a few years back. HINKLES MAKE MEMORIAL DAY PLANS With Memorial day weekend coming up, The Hinkle family is getting ready to celebrate with a campout. Harold and Mary will be in the Oahe Campground with Doug's and Darrel's repsctive familes. It is not known at this time who else is going along. Jerry is staying behind to make sure that the cats, cattle and E.E. Hinkle get all of their meals delivered on time. MUSIC REVIEW by Jerry Hinkle My cousin Kevin introduced me to two of the things that provided endless mirth to me in the 1980s. "MAD" Magazine and "Weird Al" Yankovic. I'm too old for "MAD", but I hope I'll never get too old for "Weird Al" .For 20 years Al has made a carreer out of parody and satire, and always with the blessing of the musical act with which he parodies. Al created brilliant satire with original compostions, but his best work by far are his parodies of songs like "Another bites the dust", "Beat it", and "Achy, Breaky Heart" just to name a few. "Weird Al" has struck paydirt again with his recent parody of Eminem. While not his best work, it is far better than anything the mainstream recording industy has released this year. Al makes fun not only of Eminem, but couch potatoes and the television business. I encourage any Reader out there who has yet to experience the wonder that is "Weird Al" Yankovic to do so now, before you get to old to laugh. And if you can, get some of his older stuff too. You'll be glad that you did. Wednesday, May 21, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5K BLOGGER ANNOUNCES BIG CHANGES Blogger.com is giving all of their users the "Heads up" because over the next couple weeks, they will be moving people over to a new version of Blogger. It's basically the same as the old one, but they say it should work better. So if things look different one day, don't be too surprised. As one of the over one million Blogger users, the Holabird Advocate embrace this change because of publishing problems that have been all too common as of late. GREGG FUNERAL YESTERDAY Because of computer problems the Holabird Advocate was unable to bring to it's Readers the information pertaining to the Marilou Gregg funeral, which was yesterday at 10am yesterday at St. Mary's Cathelic Church in Highmore. We apologize for this most profusely. Marilou was, as all of her family and friends can attest a grand lady and a good freind and neighbor to all. We all her pride and joy as being her well kept lawn. Several times people would pass by to see her mowing the grass or maintaining it in some other way. Marilou Ann (Dancey) Gregg was 76 years young when "the big C" finally took her down. She was born on January 18, 1927 to Sam and Mary Dancy. Her Marriage to Clyde Gregg gave her 8 children. She died early Sunday May 18, 2003 at Maryhouse in Pierre. MORE INTERNATIONAL CONNECTIONS FOR HOLABIRD ADVOCATE The Lycos search engine found a Hiram Gonagan article on Moreton Bay, Austrailia that was printed in the Holabird Advocate last summer. That search yieled another Reader for the Newsblog. The search criteria used was "attractions in moreton bay, austrailia. If that Readers does log onto us again, feel free to ask questions about Moreton Bay on the FAQ module, and we'll see that they are answered. Also new is a reader from The Netherlands, formerly known as Holland. As it happens, our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle's great-great-great-great grandfather, Christian Hinkle, came to America from Holland. Monday, May 19, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5J PUBLISHER ATTENDS GRAD CEREMONY THE WORLD DOESN'T COME TO AN END The Hinkle family arranged it so that Jerry Hinkle, courageous, dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate was able to attend the Graduation ceremony for Highmore High School's class of 2003. Good thing for him he was there too. Bonnie Nickleson, who is just as courageous and dynamic as her nephew managed to secure a seat of honor for Jerry in the front row so Andrew could look out and see that his godfather was there to see him through this stage in his life. Of course this means that she had to take a back seat, but she didn't seem to mind. And he was both humbled and honored to do so. It was a last minute thing too, as Jerry had to hurry before the famous "Pomp and Circumstance" played calling the graduates to there seats. Another second longer and people would have thought he was graduating as well. Sadly, he was unable to take pictures from that location because the battery in his camera went dead. He has since replaced the battery. Jerry noted a few differences from his own ceremony 17 years ago that day. Instead of the band playing, kindergarten teacher Mrs. LaMont played the march solo on the piano (and brilliantly too, we might add). The life stories of most of the named scholarships were printed out for the audience instead of being read aloud to them (which was a welcome change to him). The High School choir did not sing like in years past, which made Jerry think that perhaps that both the band and choir has been cut from the school budget. The class of 2003 had a brilliant speaker in Mr. LaMont, the high school english teacher. The general idea behind his speech was "Enjoy today". Both Jerry and Mr. Ruth, the school's CEO, agree that they could not have said it better than he did. After Graduation was the reception, Jerry was able to catch up with Donna, Andy's godmother/cousin. Donna made the fatal mistake of asking Jerry what he does and got the full Market America Treatment with a little rundown of his grandfather's health for the last two years. When asked What he knew about Donna, Jerry replied, "She has a nice husband and four extremely well behaved children. They live somewhere near Dawson, Minnesota. They drove straight here and drove staight back. She's still a nurse. That's about all I know, I Guess". Looks like Jerry learned the fine art of listening from E.E. Hinkle himself doesn't it. He didn't even bother to learn her last name. E.E. HINKLE RECIEVES GOOD NEWS Hinkles everywhere can rejoice for an answer to prayer. This afternoon E.E. Hinkle was pleasently surprised by a phone call from his sister-in-law, LaRayne Hinkle of Bonita, Ca. "She sounded just like she used to!", E.E. excitedly declared. LaRayne told him that Shirley has gone back home and She and Don are back to watching over each other. MARILOU (DANCY) GREGG SERVICES PENDING Former Holabird resident Marilou Gregg died in Pierre after a long battle with cancer. Services are pending and more details will be forthcoming in the Holabird Advocate when we recieve them. KELO CELEBRATES 50 YEARS OF MEMORIES by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate As a quasi serious journalist, I'm supposed to be objective. When it comes to Keloland, I'm not. Today marks their 50th year in broadcasting. They will be having a half-hour special at 6:30 tonight to celebrate. Mrs. Joe Floyd was a freind of my Grandma Bergit's. I remember Leo Hartig doing the news, Les Harding doing the weather, Jim Burt drinking beer on TV while doing the sports news and predictions with Charlie the computer. What I remember most fondly growing up with, of course, was "Captain 11", who, disguised as mild mannered Dave Dedrick was endowed with "The wisdom of Solomon and the strength of Atlas". He always ended the show by saying "Mind Mom and Dad! Eat everything they tell you to eat! And pray your prayers when you go to bed, that's the most important part! The ACLU must have hated the Captain. Dave Dedrick has since become a good friend of mine(at least until he reads this article anyway). He has told me a lot about the beginning of Keloland. Dave's voice was the first heard on Keloland. Joe Floyd, Evans Nord and Dave started it all. Only he's alive to talk about it now. So far only one man has been Captain 11. He's lucky, and we're lucky. Saturday, May 17, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5I WAR ON TERRORISM HEATS UP There have been two terrorist bombings this past week killing several Americans on foriegn soil. One in Saudi Arabia, the other in Morocco. Instead of trying another strike on the American homeland, which apparently is too secure for them, they have cowardly tryed to kill Americans that travel abroad. Of course there were people from other lands killed as well. A sad fact of life in this day and age. WITH FREE FISHING YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR After spending several hours getting the boat ready for the free fishing weekend Harold Hinkle woke up this morning to high winds. When the winds died down so had the excitement of fishing. Harold was having trouble geting the lights on the boat trailer to work properly also. PUBLISHER GETS READY FOR GRADUATION Highmore High School is cranking out a few more graduates tomorrow. One of them, Andrew Lennick, is the godson of Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, Not wanting to miss the ceremony, yet wanting to make sure his grandfather doesn't have to eat leftover oatmeal out of a slop bucket, Jerry had seen to it that there is plenty of pudding and hot dogs in the fridge for him to eat. Be that as it may, all of us that know Jerry can imagine that he'll still be worried all the time that he is away from him. There is a slim chance that E.E. will go to town with the rest of them, but nobody's betting on it. WHAT I'D SAY TO THE CLASS OF 2003 by Jerry Hinkle, of the Holabird Advocate It was on May 18, 1986 when I made it the stage on my own graduation day. Looking back, I now see what an important day it was in my life. In those day's we had some speaker telling the graduates all kind of crap like "you are the future" and things of that sort. The speaker at my graduation was Miami Dolphins owner Joe Robbie. He was so boring that I slept through most of what he said. If I had the chance to talk to the class of 2003 I would say something like this. If you are graduationg or know someone who is graduating make sure they read this. As my aunt Virginia would say "This is gonna be short and sweet". "Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2003, you started out as girls and boys in kindergarten. Now you are being let loose on the world. Because of the advances in science and technology, each one of you could live to be 120 or even older. You could also die before you see tomorrow. Remember that yesterday is in the tomb of time. It is dead and buried, leaving behind memories, both good and bad. In my day, we'd have said 'It's history'. Tomorrow is in the womb of time. A hidden promise, a mystery that God will reveal at the right time. It is not yet formed. All we have is right now. Today is a gift. that's why it's called the present. The ACLU will be mad at me for telling you this, but today is a gift from God, and it's the best gift you will recieve on this, your Graduation Day. When your parents and teachers tell you crap like 'you're the future', remember that they are wrong. You've just graduated. You're not the future, you're history. Learn from yesterday, but live today, and then you can help form tomorrow. Thank you and drive carefully!" Friday, May 16, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5H MAN IN BLACK MOURNS WIFE June Carter Cash cowrote "Ring of Fire," then she helped Johnny Cash escape it. The last surviving sibling of country music's influential Carter Family who tamed the Man in Black and penned one of his biggest hits, died Thursday, eight days after surgery to replace a heart valve. She was 73. Johnny Cash, her husband of 35 years, was at her bedside at Nashville's Baptist Hospital, manager Lou Robin told reporters. Carter Cash underwent valve surgery May 7. She became critically ill Saturday, and returned to the hospital, prompting Cash to ask their fans to pray for her health. "June did this for him one time when he was critically ill," Robin said in a statement last weekend. "The recovery the next morning was something the doctors couldn't describe or imagine." Indeed, Cash, 71, has bounced back from a variety of ailments in recent years, and continues to cope with Shy-Drager Syndrome, a disorder of the nervous system. But for Carter Cash there would be no dramatic recovery. In the late 1990s, Carter Cash endured the deaths of sisters Anita and Helen, who with mother Maybelle Carter, constituted the Carter Family lineup in the 1940s and 1950s. Mother Maybelle Carter died in 1978. June carter Cash was born into the musical clan on June 23, 1929, in Virginia. She and the reformed Carter Family made it to the Grand Ole Opry in 1950, where a high-schooler by the name of Johnny Cash caught the act. Six years later, one account goes, Cash, having since become a performer in his own right, met the then June Carter in person and vowed to make her his bride. But before Carter would become Carter Cash, she married and divorced two others: singer Carl Smith, a union that produced future country star Carlene Carter and, Rip Nix. Carter Cash hooked up with Cash, professionally, at least, in 1961, when she joined his touring act, following a foray into the New York acting scene. By the early 1960s, Cash was battling the demons of drink and drugs, a veritable "Ring of Fire." "I fell into a burning ring of fire/I went down, down, down/and the flames went higher," went the chorus for Cash's signature 1963 hit. The tune was written by June Carter and Merle Kilgore. It was said to be inspired by June Carter's feelings about falling for the troubled Cash. Cash was always the first to credit Carter Cash with pulling him up from the pit. "She may have been the person responsible for my still being alive," Cash told the Academy of Achievement in 1993. "She and God." The Man in Black and the Carter Family scion merged in 1968. Their union was blessed with more hits, including the Grammy-winning duets "If I Were a Carpenter" and "Jackson," and the TV variety shows The Johnny Cash Show (1969-71) and Johnny Cash and Friends (1976). Together, they also had a child, son John Carter Cash, in 1970 In recent years, she returned to acting, appearing in the 1997 Robert Duvall (news) movie, The Apostle, as well as a few episodes of family friend Jane Seymour's TV series "Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman" along with her husband. HAROLD HINKLE MAKES QUICK TRIP TO PIERRE The lack of a boat battery sent Harold Hinkle to Pierre in a hurry this afternoon. He, Professor Ken Hansen and whoever else they can con into going along will be taking advantage of the free fishing weekend. All people interested in going along be sure to call Harold by 10:30pm Holabird time tonight for the itinerary. SOUTH DAKOTA SONGBOOK "MAN IN BLACK" (Johnny Cash) « © '71 House Of Cash » Well you wonder why I always dress in black Why you never see bright colors on my back And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone Well there's a reason for the things that I have on I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down Livin' in the hopeless hungry side of town I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime But is there because he's a victim of the times I wear the black for those who've never read Or listened to the words that Jesus said About the road to happiness through love and charity Why you'd think he's talking straight to you and me Well we're doin' mighty fine I do suppose In our streak of lightning cars and fancy clothes But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back Up front there oughta be a man in black I wear it for the sick and lonely old For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold I wear the black in morning for the lives that could have been Each week we lose a hundred fine young men And I wear it for the thousands who have died Believin' that the Lord was on their side I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died Believin' that we all were on their side Well there's things that never will be right I know And things need changin' everywhere you go But till we start to make a move to make a few things right You'll never see me wear a suit of white Oh I'd love to wear a rainbow every day and tell the world that everything's okay But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back Till things're brighter I'm the man in black. Thursday, May 15, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5G E.E. HINKLE GETS CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH-AGAIN Yesterday, E.E. Hinkle went to Huron to see Dr. Doug for a check-up. No surprise that he found nothing to prevent the old boy from turning 101 this coming July. Things are not as rosy for Agnes Hahn. Her doctor suspects that Agnes's anemia could be caused by internal bleeding and will be going back to the doctor next Wednesday for a colonascopy. HIWAY PATROL TO ENFORCE THE SEAT BELT LAW The South Dakota Hiway Patrol has been very visably informing the citizens of their intent to step up enforcement of the Seat Belt Law effective May 19. Exactly what this stepping up entails has not been revealed. Efforts to find an actual Hiway Patrolman have not been successful. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, had planned to find one by driving between Pierre and Huron going 70 MPH until he finds one. Attorney Jess Sumi from the law firm of Ural, Krupt, Sumi and Dye, has tried to tell him that he should wait until after the 19th and then drive without his seat belt clicked to find out. Senior partner Howard Ural suggested that Jerry simply ask his sister-in-law, who works for the State Hiway Department, all about it. That's why he's the senior partner. HELP WANTED No the Holabird Advocate is not taking classified ads. Our courageous, dynamic Publisher, Jerry Hinkle is in a bit of a spot. His godson, Andrew Lennick will be graduating from high school and he would like to attend he ceremony. Trouble is he doesn't want to desert his grandfather and leave him home all alone without dinner at noon and "boost" at 3pm. anyone who is willing to help Jerry out is encouraged to get in touch with him. Monday, May 12, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5F 147TH HAS BEEN CALLED HOME Word has reached the Holabird Advocate that the 147th Field Artillery based in Miller and Redfield was deactivated today after doing their part for the "War on Terrorism" . We have not discovered if Colin Zilverberg, who grew up in Holabird is among those returning home. Colin and his unit left March 12th for an undisclosed location in Kentucky. Nobody from the Holabird Advocate has heard anything about him since he left. SYNDEY GOEHRING FLIES LOW, BREAKS WING Roxie Goehring informed our Publisher that her daughter, Sydney had a little mishap last Tuesday in track practice. She was doing hurdles and caught her toe just as she was going over and wiped out.At first, they thought nothing about it. However, the next morning when she was taken to school, her fingers looked swollen.After lunch that day Roxie took her in and had X-rays taken. It was good that she did. Poor Sydney has a fractured right elbow. She was told to take her to the orthopedic clinic and they said that she needed a FULL ARM CAST!! So, now track is OVER for the season. She will go back in 10 days to get another X-ray and then they will know if soccer is over too. Roxie went on to say that all things considered, Sydney seems to be doing okay. All of us at the Holabird Advocate are hoping for the best. As her mother says, "She is a tough little bird!!!". WE LOVE MSN Over the weekend, the MSN search engine has brought 3 new readers the Holabird Advocate. The Circulation department reported that the searches were for "cartoon pictures of courthouses", which took them to the July 2002 archives. the second search was "beef it's what's for dinner video clips" which took them to the February 2002 archives. the third search was "jason pekarek", which took them to the school board election article. When informed of this development Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle said in a statement this afternoon. "There's no doubt about it. We have to start using MSN for more of our internet searches. It is no wonder that Bill Gates is the richest man in this whole country. MSN has brought in more readers than any other search engine." Friday, May 09, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5E HYDE COUNTY BECOMES FLOOD COUNTRY With more that 2.5 inches of rain falling on the Ponderosa this past week, and other places reporting more than that, things are getting quite muddy outside. It looks as though the precipitation situation is looking up for Hyde County's farmers and ranchers. Of course, things could dry up in a hurry Some areas in Hyde County repoorted as much as 2 inches in just one day. So far, everyone is cautiously optomistic about the coming growing season. It has been noticed that both Nemecs' wheat and Hinkles' alfalfa is looking pretty good. Also, E.E. Hinkle has quit asking Harold when Darrel is going to get ready to plant corn, for now anyway. DELAY IN OPEN HOUSE Because of the cold weather, Kristi Hinkle will be postponing the grand opening of her greenhouse until a later date which will be posted in the Holabird Advocate. OPT-OUT FREES UP NEEDED MONEY Since passing the opt-out of the property tax feeze, a lot of badly needed money has been freed up in the Hyde County School District. Previously fired teachers have been rehired and some with big bonuses. Budget cuts that were made have been put off. The school district that was once short of money seems to have no trouble spending it now. How fortunate that the children of Hyde county will now have the best education that money can buy so that they can move away and never be seen nor heard from again. Monday, May 05, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5D KRISTI'S GREENHOUSE TO HAVE GRAND OPENNING MAY 10 With planting season here, and Mother's Day this coming Sunday, Kristi Hinkle will be opening her greenhouse this week. Here annual grand openning will be held on Saturday, May 10, which is the day before Mother's Day. Her location is the same, on Hiway 47 across from the lumber yard. All Holabird Advocate Readers who tell Kristi that they saw this article will get there names on the front page of the Holabird Advocate. That is, providing she tells us about it. Those who go there now will see that it is all set up and ready for inventory, which Darrel and Kristi are going to get in there sometime in the next 12 hours. Kristi has not even openned yet and already she has been informed that she will recieve a major account because of the high quality of her plants. It is well known by all that Kristi operates the best greenhouse in Hyde County. E.E. HINKLE GETS REAL HUNGRY While waiting for Harold, Mary, and Jerry to get home from church yesterday, E.E. Hinkle got so hungry that he ate oatmeal leftover from breakfast. He had been complaining that Jerry fed him too much oatmeal while Mary was away. He has since quit complaining. Harold, Mary, and Jerry got home at around 2:15 that afternoon because they were helping Kristi get her greenhouse ready. Jerry was quite concerned as to what they'd find when they got home. E.E's only concern, however, was how his favorite pair of plyers, that were lost for a couple of days suddenly came back right where he had them last. He and Jerry looked all over for them and never found them until they quit looking for the blasted things. "LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL" VIRUS A HOAX A lot of Readers are sending us virus warnings about a computer virus called "Life is Beautiful". After an investigation, it turns out that so far there is no such virus yet. Let's hope it stays that way. SURPRIZE VISITORS ON THE PONDEROSA Usually when Harold Hinkle misses his afternoon nap he's as nasty as Madonna's last music video. but he was awakened by his nephew K.C. Ferris, who resides in an undisclosed address in Seoul, Korea. He came over with his parents, Ken and Joyce Ferris of Huron. They and the Hinkles had a good time catching up. K.C. was busy noticing all the changes around the place. He also saw that the 100 year old Korean beveridge that he Gifted his grandfather with was still sealed. Ken Ferris spent most of his visit adjusting the sattelite dish that they brought over back at Easter, much to E.E.'s consternation. K.C. had to catch a plane at Sioux Falls bound for Washington to see his sister, Sandy Soulek, and her family in Pascoe. E.E. noted that K.C. doesn't look abused. Saturday, May 03, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5C VICTOR NEMEC BACK ON "A GOOD LAND" Jerry Hinkle was informed this morning that the scheduling conflict that prevented Victor Nemec from portraying the Narrator during Old Settler's weekend have been resolved and his services are no longer needed in that capacity. It has been requested that he come to be part of the audience. "It wouldn't surprise me," Hinkle said to the staff at the Holabird Advocate, "that I was asked to help behind the scenes when the June performance comes to be". The June performance is just a taste of what the full production is. The whole play will be performed at a later date this coming summer. KRISTI'S GREENHOUSE GETTING READY Kristi Hinkle's family has come together to get her greenhouse ready for the next growing season. the frame was put up today. The plastic will be put up on a calm day, most likely in the morning. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are praying for rain. Friday, May 02, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5B HINKLES CROSS THE POND SUCCESSFULLY COMING HOME AFTER LONG TRIP ABROAD Harold Hinkle called from Redfield, South Dakota to let it be known that He and the rest of the group are back in the U.S.A. He also let it be known that neither he, Mary, nor Agnes will be going to Cedar Rapids to see Anne Hansen get her award tomorrow. The trip seems to have wiped them all out. AGNES HAHN TURNS 85 Today is Agnes Hahn's 85th birthday. It is not known how, or even if, she will celebrate this milestone event. Agnes does have a way, however of making every day a celebration of some sort. There's a lot to be said for that kind of attitude. Thursday, May 01, 2003 VOL. II Issue 5A OLD SETTLERS HAS "A GOOD LAND" PERFORMANCE Barbara Nemec, erstwhile director and writer of "A Good Land" has announced that selected scenes from the play will be performed on the Friday of Old Settler's weekend to give people a sneak peek at the actual performance. Victor Nemec who plays the Narrator, will not be available at that time so Jerry Hinkle has been slated to replace him for that performance only. The "Wedding scene" that has been talked about before in the Holabird Advocate is not one of the selected scenes to be performed and so Jerry will not be playing the Minister that evening. The performance of the whole production will be at a later date, which has not yet been determined, a date that will be announced here in the Holabird Advocate sometime in the future. HOLABIRD ADVOCATE GOES INTERNATIONAL REPORTS ADDING A NEW ZEALAND READER It was reported by the Holabird Advocate's Circulation department that as of 2:43 this afternoon Holabird time, a computer from New Zealand logged on to the Newsblog. This occasion marks the first known reader from outside the United States. When he heard the news, Holabird Advocate's courageous, dynamic Publisher, Jerry Hinkle said, "Of all the products and services that this country could export, few are as worthwhile as the Holabird Advocate. I hope this Reader from New Zealand brings a few friends along for the ride." REMEMBERING IRENE RYAN, T.V.'S GRANNY by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate It was 30 years ago today that Irene Ryan, who played Granny Clampett on "Beverly Hillbillies" was buried. "Reenie" as she was known to family and friends was born October 17, 1902, making her a few months younger than my Grandad. She was quite a lady. Ms. Ryan was one of the few white singers to have a hit single on Motown Records with "No Time at All" from the Broadway musical show, "Pippin". She died of complications from a stroke caused by a brain tumor while performing in that show, after the cancellation of "The Hillbillies". She was 70 years old. Donna Douglas, who played Elly May, turns 70 this year, and has started to look more like "Granny" than Irene did without the makeup. Life indeed goes on. Reality bites. On the day of the funeral, May 1, 1973, Paul Henning, who created "The Hillbillies", said, "Today is May first. May Day-the international distress signal. But May Day has another meaning. May day was a time of joy and cellebration. I think that's the meaning Reenie would want us to have in our hearts today. Reenie once told me that there was an old saying in vaudeville 'Always leave them wanting more'. Well, Irene, you certainly made your exit on a high point. God knows we wanted more." It's been 40 years since "The Hillbillies" debuted. It's still aired in reruns at various times everyday. I wonder how many of todays shows will be seen in 2043. The reason for its lasting appeal is simple. When you feel a little down and watch an episode you feel wonderful again, even if it's for just a moment. "The Beverly Hillbillies"! Long may they wave! 
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