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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Saturday, August 31, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8O DARREL HINKLE IS A CERTIFIED PILOT What began as a secret has now resulted in Darrel Hinkle getting his pilot's license and flight certificate. Darrel has been doing flight training for an undisclosed number of months now. His father Harold has been reported as saying that Darrel is looking to get a plane for $18,000 but his older brother, Jerry, (who is famous in these parts for his fear of flying) has said that such a plane would be unsafe. Harold replied "Well, I don't trust his driving, so why would I get in a plane with him. There's no way in Hell !!! " HERSETH LEADS JANKLOW IN POLL 44-41 House candidate Stephanie Herseth has narrowly beaten Govenor William J. Janklow in an independant poll that called 600 voters at random. Of those polled 44% support Herseth to 41% for the 4 term incumbant govenor. The rest are either undecided or planning to vote for the Reform candidate whose name is unknown to anyone here at The Holabird Advocate. This poll as a margin of error of 5% so this race is too close to call. Still, in a state where the average Democrat would come in second if a poll was taken at their own family reunion, that's pretty good. Ms. Herseth has been endorsed by The Holabird Advocate and it's Publisher. Remember, dear Readers, that Election day is just 66 days away. That's the only poll that truly does count. PUBLISHER'S NOTES by Jerry Hinkle (DUH) There are going to be big changes for this blog from the next month's issue. We are going to drop "The" from the name, effectively making it the "Holabird Advocate". Also we will refer to it as a newsblog instead of newspaper, since printing press and paper isn't actually used in the publication. The last change is the best one yet. We will be availing ourselves of some more of the free services of Bravenet.com, adding an FAQ section in case any of the new Readers or the original ones have a question that only the staff here can provide the answer to and a poll to help the Readers voice their opinions. These changes will become effective at 12:00pm (noon) on September 2nd providing I can tear myself away from the Jerry Lewis Telethon long enough to get it all done in time (that Norm Crosby tears me up so much). The web address will stay the same, and the quality of this publication will get better. Couldn't get worse. Could it? Issue 9 promises to be the best one yet. Friday, August 30, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8N HYDE COUNTY REPORTS 1ST WEST NILE CASE The first known case of west nile has been reported by local veterinarian David Stagg DVM. Tests on a horse that died show up positive for the West Nile Virus. To be sure the horse will also be tested for rabies since the symptoms are just about the same. The location of the horse and it's owner have not been released. If you have horses it is encouraged that you get them vaccinated for the disease. Humans can get the West Nile Virus, but there is no vaccine for it. It is also advised that the population of misquitos be reduced as much as posible around your living area. Using a bug spray that causes DEET is also recommended for just that purpose. WILBUR GOEHRING MAY BE CUBA BOUND It has come to our attention that Wilbur Goehring may be going to Cuba. Our courageous, dymamic Publisher, Jerry Hinkle has tried to get more details but none has been forthcoming. We have heard that he got a letter to this effect signed by South Dakota's Secretary of State, Joyce Hazeltine. It is our hope that he can get back to us woith more details. JERRY HINKLE GETS PUBLISHED BY PEN PAL by Jerry Hinkle, Special to The Holabird Advocate One of the best things about being part of the Blogger.com network is all of the swell people I've met online. I've struck up a friendship with a few of them. In the top 10 is definatly a young lady named Natalie, A typical blond co-ed at a major California university.I enjoy her blog on a regular basis, for reasons which you'll understand later. I recently wrote to Natalie at a time when I thought she could use a kind word and she enjoyed it so much that she published my words in her Journal. I won't give you her web address to protect her privacy but since she put my words in her blog, I felt obliged to put some of her words here, enjoy: thanks i appreciate your kind words. school has ben hellish.. and it's just the start of the semester :( you don't have to write about me in your paper if you dont have the words for it....take care nat And that's Natalie. The best part of my being me is that, indeed, I don't have to do anything. In this case I wanted to. Natalie is a real trip. I hope all of her other friends feel the same way. We all need somebody to listen to us and give a kind word or two from time to time. I hope the reat of you readers can do that. It'll make for a better world if you do. LET'S GO TO THE VIDEOTAPE by Buster Brock "Life is nuthin'. It's a nuthin'. Life is nuthin' but a fat rat race". This is the song that introduced the movie "Rat Race". How fitting. This movie was glorified welfare for a group of actors on Hollywood's B list. I never heard of half of these people, the other half are has beens. I was exited to see this movie as it was compared to "Cannonball Run". This movie made "Cannonball Run" look like Shakespeare. The script writing was a nuthin'. The acting talent was a nuthin" . The comic timing was a nuthin'. I dare say the whole movie was a nuthin' I did see a movie on TV last night that I'd like to rent on videotape. It is "The Object of my Affection". It starred Jennifer Aniston and some other people with Alan Alda and Allison Janney in supporting roles. The surprisingly talented Ms. Aniston convincingly plays a pregant single woman is falls in love with her homosexual roommate. It appears he has feelings for her too, but her boyfreind (also the father of her baby) and the roomate's gayness get in the way. Will these two star crossed lovers be able to live happily ever after? well if you didn't see it last night on TV better rent it and find out. Best of all it's not "edited for television" so you can here some good old American cussing that was hidden, but not to cleverly by ABC. I plan on renting "Scary Movie" and "Scary Movie 2 "next time. Look for my review in September. In the meantime, be kind and rewind. Wednesday, August 28, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8M SCHOOL STARTS TODAY It is the first day of school in Hyde County. Brittany Hinkle started Kindergarten when she got on the bus this morning. Some have wondered if Brittany is ready for school, but all of us here at The Holabird Advocate wonder if school is ready for her. As it turned out Brit and the 23 others had a lot of fun on the first day. The teachers and students alike are putting their best foot forward. That makes it good for everyone throughout the next year. Lets hope it continues. MORE BULL TROUBLE ON THE PONDEROSA The only thing you can say about those bulls at the Ponderosa (without cussing) is that they are more trouble then they are worth. They were seperated from the cows this morning and have already broken out of the corral twice. The second time one got back with the cows and Darrel had to bring out the 4-wheeler. E.E. Hinkle was not part of the recovery crew. Of course nobody can blame him for sitting this one out. PONDEROSA PROPANE TANKS ARE SINGING Harvest States Cooperative had a big bargin on propane so Harold and Darrel hinkle loaded up on it. the weather turned hot and now the propane is just singing out of the tanks. Harold seems to think that painting the tanks white will stop this from happenning. Ironically propane is used for winter fuel at the Ponderosa and the area. That could be why it was so cheap this time of year. KIDNAPPERS ARE GET 15 MINUTES OF INFAMY by Jerry Hinkle, Special to The Holabird Advocate Andy Warhol was an artist who only contributed two thins to our culture. The first was a painting that looks like a giant Campbells soup label and the other was the phrase that goes something like "Every one has fifteen minutes of fame". Exactly what he meant is not known. To listen to the media these days you'd think there was a rash of kidnappings going on in this country. So many not even I can keep track of them. I'm sure if the media quit speading this kind of story it would die down. It's like school shootings were a few years back. After the media stopped recognizing that kind of behavior, the number of shootings dropped. These kidnappers are seeking their 15 minutes of fame, but they are getting infamy instead. That means they are famous in a bad way. The line between fame and infamy seems to get blurred rather easily. I hope that all of these losers that crave recognition get it in prison. I also hope that all of the kids that have been snatched away from their parents can be returned safe and sound back home. Perhaps if the national media acted more responsible, all this will happen. Monday, August 26, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8L DOUG HINKLE BACK AT HOME AND WORK After fighting fire in the Keystone area with Pierre, South Dakota's Fire Department Engine Company # 1 and seeing the sights around the Black Hills Doug Hinkle is back at home doing his domestic chores and his day job at Wegner Auto. The Pierre Fire Department doesn't pay their members. In fact, it costs them beer money to belong as the story goes. Doug and Noel were making a pond in the back yard in spite of being warned against the West Nile Virus. They say as long as Kaitlyn stays out of the pond they should be alright. HAY! YOU! GET ONTO MY TRUCK! Darel Hinkle has exercised his family's proud tradition of changing his mind as often as he changes his underwear. Instead of buying corn for $80/ton as he had previously planned he has bought hay for $65/ton at a farm east of Wessington, South Dakota. He is hauling the hay himself. It seems to be mostly hay from CRP land (the quality of which is c-r-a-p according to Harold Hinkle) and is in big square bales of about 900 lbs each. SOCIETY:SMALL GATHERING AT THE HAHN HOUSE Harold, Mary and Jerry Hinkle went to Highmore to have grilled steaks with Gene, Roxie, and Sydney Goehring at the invitation of Agnes Hahn. Notably absent was Tracy Lennick who was unable to tell any of the assembled company that he passed his Hunters Safety Course. Luckily for him, his grandmother mentioned it over and over so everyone knew and would not forget. The Steaks were bought at Vlceks, the local grocery store. All agreed that they were top quality and a better steak could not be had uptown or downtown. Sydney was selling Hershey candies for $1 apiece. Each package of candy had a coupon for a Subway Resturaunt good for $1 in trade. Sydney's proceeds go to her soccer team, the name of which is unknown to anyone here at The Holabird Advocate. Sydney also showed off her Spongebob Squarepants pajamas. Mary Hinkle wondered if the came in her son Darrel's size. Mary Hinkle showed her pictures of Austrailia. Of particular interest were the camel riding pictures and the pictures of koala's. Harold talked a little bit about vegamite which is supposed to be some sort of health food. It must be healthy as those who have tried it say it tastes terrible. Friday, August 23, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8K E.E. HINKLE GETS GOOD REPORT FROM QUACK As expected E.E. Hinkle had a good visit with Dr. Douglas Wednesday morning. Among other thing he told the old boy that he was in good shape and gained about 12 lbs. since June. The reason for E.E's good health is not really known but often speculated about. Jerry Hinkle and Joyce Ferris claim it's the OPC-3 that he takes every morning. It has also been guessed that the drugs that Dr. Douglas prescibes are the very reason. Some of his California relatives are even talking about trying "Boost" (which is really generic Ensure that K-mart puts out) Whatever the reason for his longevity and good health, all of us here at The Holabird Advocate hope that whatever he's doing, he keeps it up. It couldn't hurt for the rest of us to give it a try either PONDEROSA RAIN:ALMOST 2 INCHES As the old song goes "The rains came down and the floods went up". On Thursday morning, it rained and rained and rained. The Ponderosa still has mud in the barnyard. It was close to 2 inches, just 1.82" when it finally stopped. The new rain brings with it a concern about the West Nile Virus as Hughes County has already had a few cases of that in the area. BATTLE CREEK FIRE STILL BURNS Although 65% contained, The Fire in the Battle Creek area of the Black Hills is expected to be 100% contained by Saturday night. In fact, several of the fire fighters have been told to go home. No word on if one of those brave souls was former Holabird resident Lt. Douglas A. Hinkle of Pierre Fire Department's Engine Company #1. Fire fighters of both genders were out there. Both have been doing a great job. W WANTS MORE LOGGING TO PREVENT FOREST FIRES W took a stand in on one of the stickest subjects in the Oregon area by proposing to open up the forests to private logging companies. This, W believes will help prevent devistating forest fires. As He travelled Thursday from his "Western White House" in Crawford, TX to Medford Oregon Air Force one passed over a 471,000 acre fire which is believed to be the largest fire in Oregon's history This proposal, which drew fire from environmentalists, was first outlined by W on Wednesday. The White house said "These changes are neccessary to reset the balance. This isn't about clear-cutting. This is about thinning". Nationwide, there has been nearly 6 million acres lost to wildfires. This figure is twice the national average for summertime. The cost of combating these fires could be as much as $1.5 billion, this year. Wednesday, August 21, 2002 VOL I Issue 8J THUNDERSTORMS CAUSE POWER FAILURE Severe thunderstorms in the region caused electricity to be shut off for 3 hours yesterday afternoon and 3 hours early this morning. These storm systems have delivered .60" of rain to the Ponderosa. BATTLE CREEK FIRE BURNS 11,000+ ACRES A forest fire that started in the Keystone area has played heck will the tourist trade. the fire, which is only 45% contained as of press time, has burned more than 11,000 acres and counting. Among the fire fighters is Pierre Fire Department Lt. Douglas A. Hinkle, formerly of Holabird. E.E. HINKLE MAKES TRIP TO THE DOCTOR For the first time since turning 100 years old E.E. Hinkle is keeping an appointment to see Dr. Douglas. Harold and Mary Hinkle are taking him to Huron to see his quack. A good report is expected as E.E. has been looking well and acting more and more like his old self (maybe we should say former self given his age). He has not had to be in a hospital since February, when he had the bout with pneumonia. Friday, August 16, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8I PARTY AT THE PONDEROSA A PETA gathering was held to celebrate the return of Harold and Mary Hinkle to the Ponderosa. Joining in the celebration were Agnes Hahn; George and Mavis Kennedy; and Justin, Shelby, Brittany, Jerry and E.E. Hinkle. Darrel and Kristi Hinkle went to Sioux Falls for the wedding of Patrick Van Tassel. Doug Hinkle and his family were vacationing in North Dakota. Brats were served with various salads and apple pie with ice cream for dessert. SECOND ALBUM FOR RORY HOFFMAN Lemmon musician Rory Hoffman had released his first album, "Blind Faith" last December. A second album titled "Fishin'," is in the works for him right now and is scheduled for release sometime in late September through Depot Music in Mobridge. A follow-up album may not be big news for some musical acts, but Rory is a rare talent He played the piano at 3 and at age 5 he started wth drums. At age 24 he plays no less than 14 instruments to his credit. If that's not enough for you, how about the fact that Hoffman does all this despite the fact he was blind since birth. Be that has it may he has not let it stop him from pursuing his musical goals. "I want to take it as far as I can" Hoffman said at a recent AP interview. "I Want to be a full time musician, I want to make it a career . "Blind Faith" was recorded in Nashville and is available, along with more background information and other cool stuffon this South Dakota artist, through his website www.roryhoffman.com 25 YEARS AFTER HIS DEATH, ELVIS LIVES ON by Jerry Hinkle, Special to The Holabird Advocate Today Marks the silver anniversary of the death of "the King of Rock and Roll", Elvis Presley. Such is his fame that his last name is seldomly used. Dear readers, when someone says the name "Elvis", you don't think right away of Elvis Costello, now do you. Of course you don't. Elvis is so loved throughout the world that several of his fans refuse to accept his death. Reports of Elvis sightings have dotted the countryside for almost 15 years. It has recently been speculated as to how well Elvis would have done on the TV show "American Idol". I dare say, were it not for him that show would have never been. How many of the "contestants" on that show will even be missed when they die? Can you picture a candle-light vigil for any of them 25 years after passing from the scene? Well, I certainly can not. Nor can I picture it for anyone else in today's musical plateau. I was not always a fan of Elvis's. I do remember when he died. NBC broke into the local station's broadcast of "Star Trek" to tell the nation of his death from "a heart attack". It would be a few years before we found out the rest. About the drugs, prescription and otherwise. Even so his legend lives on. It would be a number of years before I truly gained respect for this true American Idol. His gospel recordings show a faith that he should have reached for in the end, and I hope he did. His music has touch Millions of people, many of whom were born after his death. It could be said, that like many great artists, he was more famous after he died. Elvis Presley Enterprises has made more money in the 25 years after his death than Elvis ever saw in his lifetime. the reason for this success can be summed up with this final thought. The Audience loved Elvis because he first loved his Audience. Thursday, August 15, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8H W DOES A THREEPEAT President George W. Bush has made a third trip to South Dakota. Instead of going to the Sioux Falls area, he is going to Mount Rushmore. Air Force 1 touched down at Ellsworth Air Force base, near Rapid City. After greeting a select few admirers from the crowd of 400 people W made his way very slowly to Marine 1, the official presidential helicopter on his way to Mount Rushmore, which had been closed to the public for this visit, with only 6000 people able to hear the speech live. Along with W was Homeland Security Advisor Tom Ridge. Mr. Ridge spoke about the need to keep America and the Monument of Mount Rushmore secure for future generations. Representitive John Thune introduced the President to the crowd. W gave a speech that welcomed both Democratic Senators Tom Dashcle and Tim Johnson to their own home state as well as recognizing his friend Govenor Bill Janklow, calling him, " A piece of work". A serious moment came when he talked out the current drought in the State of South Dakota saying, "We want to Help." he announced that $150 million dollars was freed up by the Department of Agriculture for emergency (livestock) feed. "Drought Relief" he said,"must come out of the Farm Bill." He talked about ethonal as well. W said to the crowd, "We're growing energy right here in South Dakota". He mentioned the need to manage the National Forests in a way that prevents fires. W also reviewed his tax cuts and talked about all the good they were doing. W closed his speech at Mount Rushmore by talking about homeland security and freedom declaring that, "We value life.We value every Human life." The Speech not made with Mount Rushmore in the background rather it was made with the monument to the crowds right(W's left) and an artificial background of the Badlands was used during the speech. The park managers were reluctant to let Mount Rushmore be used as a TV prop. Reaction from the two Democratic Senators was mixed. Both Dashcle and Johnson were glad that the President came, but were disappointed when he failed to outline a workable drought relief plan for South Dakota. Before the speech W met with a few area farmers at the Visitors Center at Mount Rushmore to have a roundtable discussion about the drought. The meeting was not openned to the public and what was actually said was not reported to the media. HAROLD AND MARY HINKLE HOMEWARD BOUND Harold and Mary Hinkle are expected to be home sometime this afternoon. Anxiously awaiting their arrival are their grandaughter, Brittany Hinkle, E.E. Hinkle, several relatives and friends as well. Harold and Mary arrived in Minneapolis at around 6:23pm and went out to dinner before calling home. They stayed at the Larry and Phyllis Ehlers home overnight and planned to leave after breakfast. PETA COOKOUT PLANNED FOR HINKLES In honor of the return of Harold and Mary Hinkle to the Ponderosa, a PETA cookout will be on Friday evening at 6pm planned by Mavis Kennedy. Brats and hambugers are to be grilled and Agnes Hahn is bringing potato salad. So far nobody else has accepted the invitation. A complete listing of all those present will be provided in a future edition of The Holabird Advocate. Tuesday, August 13, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8G TORNADO WARNINGS IN CENTRAL S.D. NO DAMAGE REPORTED AROUND HERE George and Mavis Kennedy made a quick trip Sunday,back to the Ponderosa after the wedding in Upton.That evening there were severe thunderstorms and tornado warnings for the counties of Hughes, Hyde and Sully. No damage was reported in Hyde County, but the town of Onida had some damage. The town of Blunt had winds gusting at 85MPH at one time. There were no reports of death or injury in any of the storms in this area. JOYCE GOES OUT WITH A BANG Monday morning breakfast on the Ponderosa was a quiet occasion until Joyce Ferris packed up and got ready to go back home. She was doing dishes afterward to get her fingers nimble enough to drive when the breakfast conversation turned toward Tom Daschle. E.E. Hinkle was talking about how "they" were trying to get him. No word on just who "they" are, but those who know E.E. can just about guess. Joyce shot back so that he and everyone else could hear that she thought "they" should get him because he is a Socialist and compared him to Hitler. After a while things quieted down and everyone said their good-byes to Joyce and she went on her way. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan It's been quite a while since we've heard about the goings on at the other end of the world. Harold and Mary finally reported in now that they will be flying out of New Zealand at 4pm local time (that's 1am CDT) on Wednesday and arriving in Minneappolis at around 6pm CDT. Tonight they are staying at the City Central Hotel in Auckland. Overall they are having a great time. Monday night they saw a concert and dance put on by the Maori, The native people of New Zealand. THE HOLABIRD ADVOCATE HAS VISITOR OF "UNKNOWN ORIGIN" The Circulation Department of The Holabird Advocate reports that we were visited by a computer of "unknown origin". Usually there is a computer signature that shows the ISP of the reader's computer. One visitor has "unknown origin" where that signature should be. We of course don't know how often this visitor has come back to read The Holabird Advocate but we are convinced that the the mystery reader is not as sinister as we make him out to be. It is our hope that this reader is an FBI agent looking out for us and you, the other readers. By the way if it isn't and there are any G-men out there reading this and would like to investigate further, please be my guest. I'll help any way I can as I'd rather this newspaper not be used for terrorist activity. Saturday, August 10, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8F PONDEROSA IS FLOOD COUNTRY LET THERE BE RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Friday afternoon brought .88" of rain to the thirsty ground of the Ponderosa. Water is still standing in spots. This latest bit of rain may delay silage chopping for a day or two. The weather has cooled off and is less humid than before as well. Air conditioners are on standby if needed. It has been said that if a cat sneezes, there is rain on the way. Three months ago Jerry Hinkle heard a cat sneeze. Now the rain is here. That's all he needed to be convinced. MARY HINKLE'S FISH FOUND DEAD IN FISHBOWL Also on Friday afternoon Jerry Hinkle discovered that the tropical fish that was his mothers pet,and known simply as The Fish, was dead. It is not known at this time when the death occurred or what caused the death.Only that he/she/it had a burial at sea after Jerry respectfully cleaned the toilet. Mary Hinkle, who is vacationing in New Zealand with family had recieved word of the death over the telephone on Friday evening Ponderosa time,which was early Saturday afternoon there. SOCIETY:TY WAYNE KENNEDY MARRIES IN UPTON Tonight Mr. and Mrs.Don Barker will be giving away their daughter, Kristine Elizabeth in Marriage to Ty Wayne Kennedy at 9pm MDT. The ceremony is to be at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Kelvin Kennedy, parents of the prospective groom in Upton, Wyoming .A Hawaiian themed reception is to follow immediately afterwards. In case the weather gets's nasty they'll be wed at Upton's United Methodist Church. The reason that a wedding in Wyoming is in the society page is because George and Mavis Kennedy left the Ponderosa to share in the fun. They will be coming back either Sunday or Monday. The groom-elect is a great-grandson of E.E. Hinkle of Holabird. All of us at The Holabird Advocate wish the future Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy our most heartfelt congratulations and the best of luck on their new life together. It's been said that the best way to be married a long time is to get married young, live a long life,and never get divorced. Those two will start upon the path, let's hope they get there. Thursday, August 08, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8E THE HOLABIRD ADVOCATE TOPS 40 READERS !!!!!! NOW MORE READERS THAN TOWN HAS RESIDENTS The Circulation Department of The Holabird Advocate's latest research shows that we have 43 readers that have logged on to the paper. As previously reported Holabird and the surrounding area has a population of 38.It is our fervent hope is that everyone who reads The Holabird Advocate feels like Holabird is their hometown. Our goal was to have 38 readers by years end. You never know about these things. The sky is the limit. As for now we'll just let those numbers climb. Perhaps we'll have 1700 readers by next year. 1700 is the number of people in Hyde County. That will be our next goal. Of Course we owe a debt of thanks to you, the present readers. we must be getting a good deal of word of mouth advertising, the best there is. STEPHANIE HERSETH AHEAD IN STRAW POLL In a straw poll taken during the South Dakota State Fair, which was sponsored by the South Dakota Farmer's Union, Stephanie Herseth recieved 66% of the vote. Her opponent in the race for South Dakota's lone U.S. House seat, Gov. Bill Janklow, recieved only 32% of the polls votes. The Farmer's Union has done this poll at the State fair since 1962 and has been 100% accurate about 80% of the time. Ms. Herseth has been endorsed by The Holabird Advocate and it's Publisher, the courageous, dynamic Jerry Hinkle. All of us at The Holabird Advocate are more hopeful than ever about Ms. Herseth's chances to win this uphill contest. STATE FAIR PULLS AN ENRON by Jerry Hinkle, Special to The Holabird Advocate The South Dakota State Fair in Huron has had problems for many years. It has been poorly managed and and just as poorly attended. And every attempt to improve the Fair has only worsened the situation. The Fair was always on the week before Labor Day. That is until a couple of years ago, when it was moved back a month, to the last week in July. Last year the Fair Managers were baosting record crowds. People who actually went to the Fair wondered where the crowd was. The lack of media attention this year was hard to ignore. The only media coverage of the Fair came from The Plainsman, Huron's only paper. They boasted a 2% increase in the Fair's attendance. So they had another record year, right.WRONG!!!!! It seems that last years numbers were grossly overstated instead of 180,000 people attending, there was only 108,000 people, give or take a bit. This year's attendance figures showed 110,000 people, give or take a bit. I don't know how to fix the Fair, but the early start is killing an already dying Fair. If I could do anything to fix it, I'd put it back to the week before Labor Day. I'd also cut the ticket price in half. The worst part about the Fair is the fact that it costs $4 each to get into the Fair and everything at the fair is expensive from the food, drink and the parking. It hurts to say it but perhaps the State Fair is a dinosaur that needs to be extict and we are keeping it alive for sentimental reasons or something. I could be wrong, and for the first time in my life I sure hope I am. Monday, August 05, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8D DARREL HINKLE SHOPS FOR AIRPLANE Holabird's own pilot in training, Darrel Hinkle has been taking flight training for a while, and now is interested in buying his own airplane. His Grandfather E.E. Hinkle has offerred to loan him up to $400,000 for one. It's safe to say Darrel can't get a plane for that low of a figure. Not an operational one anyway. You never know. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Darrel Hinkle took his family to a very disappointing air show in Rapid City on Saturday morning. They did manage to stop in Deadwood to see Kristi Hinkle's Father Jan Van Tasel. The trip home was slow around Sturgis as it took 2 hours to move through because of the bike rally now known as the "62nd Annual Sturgis Rally and Races". They got home at 2am Sunday morning. George and Mavis Kennedy took E.E. Hinkle to the home of Doug Hinkle on Sunday. Mavis provided dinner for the group consiting of them and Noel Pothast and almost 8 month old baby Cade, who ate potato salad and kept it down.Doug showed all of the things that he and Noel have done to the house since moving into it about a year and a half ago. DON'T FORGET THE PLEDGE by Jerry Hinkle, Special to The Holabird Advocate I, your courageous, dynamic Publisher has not been doing his job very well as of late. I Have been distracted and detoured from my duties. This newspaper does deserve better, and I beliver that you, the readers, do as well. I was reminded that The Flag Pledge is still unconstitutional in the 9th Circuit Court. Why did I forget all about it? I suppose the other news of the day has been a part of it. The kidnappings, The trapped coal miners, even that Anna-Nicole Smith Show is in the media spotlight nationally. Locally We've had funerals, 100th birthdays and overseas tourists mentioned. The story of The Pledge just died down and we moved on like it was over. You and I heard the experts say "It will be overturned". Well, it hasn't happenned yet, and it's been almost 2 months. Since that case was decided in late June, some interesting things have come to light. It turns out that the daughter that the plantiff in the case supposedly fought for had no problem with saying the Pledge,even the part "under God" because she and her mother are both Christians. The father of that poor little girl has embarrassed her quite a bit by pursuing this whole thing. It's not hard to see why her mother divorced that kook. So what can we do now. Obviously we have to keep The Pledge in our thoughts and hope that this great wrong will be made right. The Supreme court will not meet again until October. As for the full 9th Circuit doing the Reversal, not even I know what they're going to do,or when. I guess that all we really can do is written in the title of this column. "Don't forget The Pledge" Saturday, August 03, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8C THE PONDEROSA GETS A BIG RAIN DARREL HINKLE GETS A VACATION Early Saturday morning There was a storm system that broke through and dumped .69" on the dry ground of the Ponderosa. It has been an unwritten rule on the Ponderosa that whenever it rains, Darrel Hinkle gets the next few days off. He has taken advantage of the rain to go to the Rapid City Air Show with his family and is expected back home late Saturday night. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan It's been a while since we at The Holabird Advocate had heard from Harold and Mary Hinkle. They have just send in another e-mail in and it's safe to say that the whole group is having a wonderful time. A strike at Qantas delayed them until 1:30 am. Saturday morning. They went snorkling along the Great Barrier Reef, leaving from Port Douglas. They also got to see the Reef and the fish that live there as they travelled by glass bottom boat. The weather is still agreeing with them and so is the food. Phyllis Ehlers had reported that while at Noosa National Park,they were also able to go for long trail walks.She walked for 1.5km while her sisters, Mary Hinkle and Joan Hansen had walked 2.6 km.There was no mention if the men had walked, and if so, how far. She said they were able to ride camels there as well.Phyllis also provided some background on the camels in Austrailia. It seems that they were imported to help build the railroad in the desert. It didn't work out very well from what I've gathered. That could be why nobody goes by train through the Outback. E.E. HINKLE READS "TOP 10" LIST FOR 1ST TIME Jerry Hinkle had printed out the "Top 10" list that was in the previous edition of The Holabird Advocate so his grandfather could read it. A couple of items caused him to chuckle, but on the whole the old boy approved of the list. He could not deny that following those 10 pieces of advice would make your life happier in the long run, and 100 years and counting is certainly a long run. Friday, August 02, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8B RACOONS INVADE THE SWEET CORN While Harold Hinkle's been away from the Ponderosa, his prize sweet corn has been ravaged by racoon bandits. The cooler weather of late has brought the clever little thieves out to take a load. Racoons have been a problem in the garden ever since the Hinkles lost Lassie, their faithful dog. Harold usually put in an electric fence arond the sweet corn in the garden, but this year had neglected to do so. The garden has recieved a fair amount of water from the sprinkler system because of the lack of rain this Summer. It would be a shame to let the sweet corn,the crown jewel of the garden go without a fight. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Trouble at the Ponderosa hasn't kept the Hinkles home. In fact both E.E. Hinkle and Jerry have been on trips to Pierre and Highmore this week. Mavis and George took them in Harold's Suburban. They went on a fruitless search for replacement rollers for the 20 year old sliding glass door on E.E's house. They also got bananas at Sutley's in Pierre for 20 cents/lb. and generic boost for E.E. at K-mart. In Highmore they loaded up on Tombstine stuffed crust pizza at Vlcek's where it was on sale at 2/$7.50. TOP 10 PIECES OF ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO LIVE FOR 100 YEARS by Jerry Hinkle Since Grandad's open house a lot of people have wanted to get a copy of the speech that I gave that listed my observances of the way that he lives and has lived his life ever since I've known him. This list is made up of things that he has done and they worked for him.So, FROM THE HOME OFFICE IN HOLABIRD, SOUTH DAKOTA HERE IS THE TOP TEN PIECES OF E.E. HINKLE'S ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO LIVE FOR 100 YEARS: 1.Eat bacon, eggs, and oatmeal for breakfast every morning 2.After breakfast, eat as much of what is placed in front of you as possible 3.Leave the booze alone 4.Get a bodyguard that works cheap. 5.Wear seatbelts when one of your grandkids drives you to town 6.Get to bed by 9 pm. 7.If you're not married to the person in bed with you, get out of bed real quick 8.When the bulls get out, get 'em back in 9.Never listen to a doctor younger than 58 years old Last and possibly least 10.Be conservative with your money and liberal with your advice Thursday, August 01, 2002 VOL. I Issue 8A CIRCULATION DEPT. BUSY RESEARCHING Since putting in the counter from Bravenet.com, the newly formed Circulation Department of The Holabird Advocate has done a small amount of research on who reads the paper. It appears that users of Microsoft products enjoy reading The Holabird Advocate as nearly 87% of the readership has a Windows OS and 100% use Internet Explorer. As for the names of these people, we can only guess. Time will tell which times and days of the week are most popular. So far it seems to be the 7am and 7pm hours and Tuesday. Of course the counter only reveals the first visit of a computer so logging in 10 times a day won't interfere with research. OUT WITH THE SUNFLOWERS IN WITH THE CORN Darrel Hinkle is taking advantage of the good sunflower prices to empty out the bins and get ready for winter feeding by putting corn inthe bins. Hay prices are at $100/ton right now so Darrel believes that $2/bu. corn would make it $80/ton. And corn has more feed value especially in the wintertime. Darrel doesn't anticipate a shortage of his own hay, which the cattle will still need for roughage and beding when the snow comes. Grazing is good now, but nobody knows for how long. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Harold and Mary Hinkle have really seenthe sights in Austrailia.They have hiked along the Pacific Ocean at Noosa National Park and looked at the surfers. The deep sea fishing voyage they had booked was unavoidably canceled due to high winds and waves.Instead about 12 in the group took camel rides along Laguna Beach. The food is very good in that area as they have been served a different desert every night. The dessert ussualy involves ice cream in one form or another. The next trip on the agenda is a snorkeling trip to Cairns. That promises to be fun. 
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