The Ditty Bops are still #2 in the Under Ground On-line.com Battle of the bands, Ladies and Gentlemen. The polls close for this at midnight tonight so keep at it. Just a few hours to go. Keep voting, tell all your friends. It's everyone's fair game now, so keep voting and make The Ditty Bops #1. Who is this Eisley anyway? Here, is your link: http://www.ugoplayersvote.com vote as often as you want! Everybody does anyhow!

The Come Hahn Inn should be festive tonight. Agnes Hahn is celebrating the fact that her daughter, Phyllis Ehlers, made it over the river and through the blizzard to her house late last night. Phyllis is the last of her children (but not the least of her children) to visit her over the 12 days of Christmas. And there's still 5 days to spare. Word is that fatted calf in the form of prime rib is on the menu, but no word on if our Publisher was invited. If not, he'll make his own festivities with a bottle of Cold Duck and some bread. There are worse ways than Holy Communion to start of the new year.

Our Quality Control Editor, Mary Hinkle has informed us that Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, is indeed invited to the celebration at the Come Hahn Inn. He just may bring his Cold Duck with him too!

Well, here it is! The last day of the last week of the last month of 2005! What a wonderful year it has been for me. So many new friends. Who knew there were so many bloggers in South Dakota? I had no idea! And they're all just as good as me (some are even better!). I have learned to respect them one and all! A great bunch of people!

The coming year will be interesting in that it's an election year. Bloggers of all political bents will be taking sides. It might get nasty by June, but by the day after the election we'll all be friends again. That's what I love about South Dakota, we can disagree, and still be friends.

The year of 2006 will be one of total fulfillment for me, even if The Ditty Bops only make it to #2 in the Battle of the Bands. I hope it is a good one for you too!

That's all for this year! See Ya'll in 2006!

Funeral service for Beulah I. Salem, 80, Aberdeen, will be 2 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2005, at First Baptist Church, Dr. Harold E. Salem officiating. Burial at Riverside Cemetery, Aberdeen. Beulah died Saturday, Dec. 24, at Avera St. Luke's Hospital. Visitation: 1-7 p.m. Tuesday at Spitzer Funeral Home, 320 Sixth Ave. S.E., with a prayer service at 7. Family prefers memorials to the First Baptist Church or Christian Worship Hour. Beulah Irene Tuttle was born Feb. 05, 1925, to Jesse Earl Tuttle and Bertha Westcott Tuttle at Winner, S.D. She accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Savior at a young age and devoted her life to faithfully serving Him. She graduated from Winner High School and then attended the University of Sioux Falls and Black Hills State University. She married Harold E. Salem on June 07, 1946, at the First Baptist Church in Witten, S.D. They made their home in Belle Fourche, S.D., where Rev. Salem pastored the First Baptist Church and Beulah taught in the city schools. In January 1958, they accepted the call to the First Baptist Church in Aberdeen, S.D. Beulah did substitute teaching in the public schools for many years. She was always active in the church, especially with the nursery children, women's work and the choir. Her entire married life was given to caring for her children and serving Christ through the church. She had the gift of hospitality so that her home was always open to those who had needs, especially the college youth. She also helped many young mothers care for their children, especially in times of illness. Grateful for having shared Beulah's life are her husband, Harold; two daughters, Sharron (Dennis) Salwei, Coon Rapids, Minn., Patty (Roy) Becker, Aberdeen, S.D.; two sons, Daniel (Verdene) Salem, Carroll, Iowa, and Mike (Brenda) Salem, Aberdeen, S.D.; five brothers, Bernard (Jean) Tuttle, Colorado Springs, Colo., Harold (Martha) Tuttle, Pueblo, Colo., William (Carol) Tuttle, Belle Fourche, S.D., Kenneth (Betty) Tuttle, Witten, S.D., Clyde (Erma) Tuttle, Witten, S.D.; one sister, Bernice Gustafson, Winner, S.D.; 11 grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren.

Agnes Hahn's family is so big that they have to space out their visits. Tonight, which is the 3rd day of Christmas, gives her an excuse to grill up some prime rib. Ken and Joan Hansen came over from Forrest City, Iowa to celebrate Christmas with home folks.

Word is that Ken brought his shooting irons along to hunt pheasants with. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope he'll bag the limit.

Last year, Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle was asked by a check-out clerk in the grocery store if he had a Merry Christmas. His reply was, "I'm still having it. Well 2004 was just full, 2005 was overflowing. The tally so far is $150 in cash $75 in Walmart Gift Cards, A copy of the Farmers Almanac, a pile of something called Discovery Magazine (two publications that he's never read before, but will get on ASAP), but the gift he is most proud of is The Ditty Bops Bicycle Bikini Calendar that Larry Nickleson gave to him. Not only was that a great Christmas gift, but it is an excellent way to wish one a Happy New Year. Larry will probably be Jerry's favorite uncle for at least a year or so.

Christmas Day was overflow for Mary Hinkle as well. With 12 people over for noon vittles (served at 1:30pm) and 16 people chowing down at evening vittles. She still has leftovers too.

The Hinkle family has nothing to complain about. Jerry would have been happy with just a $1 gift certificate from McDonalds, and he didn't even deserve that much. It may have been tempting, or even easier, for the Hinkles to skip church as well. It wouldn't have been right, however, so they didn't.

Word was received that Pastor Harold Salem's wife, Beulah Salem, spend her first Christmas with Jesus after passing from this life on Saturday. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are happy for Beulah, but share in her family's grief. We knew she was in the hospital, but didn't know she was that ill. We hold out hope that we shall all meet her at that big Christmas dinner in the sky someday.

After hearing about how women talk to much about mops and dryer balls on his family website, Jerry Hinkle decided to create a secret blog dedicated to manly things like hunting, hot babes, fishing, hot babes, drinking beer, hot babes, racing cars, and hot babes. It was called "Pheasant Lodge". "Was" being the operative word. It is gone because none of the manly men invited to the lodge logged on to it. Perhaps he was too good at keeping the secret.

Jerry has not given up on the idea of celebrating manhood. Perhaps a more public blog would be in order, providing that it is so manly no woman wants to read it. Maybe he could even give his uncle, Ken Hansen, a column to write advice for the manly man, since he's actually been to Manly, Iowa and all. That would definitely keep the women away.

One of our most valuable Readers, Judy Haiwick, has a website that has been viewed by hundreds of thousands all over the world. Yet our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, just visited the site for the first time today. If you would like to check out her Home Page, you can do so at http://www.sundayschoollessons.com. The Haiwicks are few and proud, like the Marines and South Dakota Democrats.

Well here it is, Christmas Eve Eve. In spite of everything the ACLU has done, it's coming. Christmas is coming. Can Jesus be far behind? Better get ready! Actually I'm glad that the whole Christmas thing will be over soon. The Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday debate is starting to grate. On one hand we have Hemmingsen telling us that holiday is short for "holy day". Then I have Uncle Jake (who hasn't been to church since Easter) all mad because the Happy Holiday people say it so they don't offend others (which offends him). Then there's Ben Stein, who says that even though he's Jewish, he enjoys hearing "Merry Christmas", and blames it all on the worshipers of Nick and Jessica (two people he doesn't know, and doesn't want to know).

Christmas is supposed to be a happy time, like the Folgers commercial. Peter comes home, after apparently hitch-hiking on Christmas Day. We don't know, and are never told, why he was gone. His family was sure surprised to see him. Was there trouble? Maybe so, but it's forgotten. Peter was home, that's all that matters. Some folks don't like the message of that commercial because they say it isn't realistic. Nothing about Christmas is realistic. Indeed it has a super natural quality. Virgins giving birth, angels singing, stars shining over small towns night and day for two years, and of course a fat guy going all over creation in a sled pulled by flying reindeer.

This will be the last time I wish you a Merry Christmas, this year anyway. I might even send you all another Christmas e-card on April 17, unless you tell me not to. Until then remember to keep the light of Truth, Freedom, Justice, Wisdom, Love, and all other good things shining. All three of the major December holidays have light as part of their ceremony, so should the people that celebrate those holidays.

VOL. IV Issue 12L
Monsanto Picks Harrisburg Over Holabird
The Holabird Chamber of Commerce is only slightly disappointed that Fortune 500 Company Monsanto is bringing a big project to Harrisburg, South Dakota instead of spending their time (and money) in Holabird. It could be Harrisburg was chosen over Holabird because of Hyde counties previous dealings with another Fortune 500 outfit, Tyson Foods. Hopefully Monsanto won't do to Harrisburg what Tyson could have done to Holabird.
One thing Harrisburg does have is the most trusted blog in South Dakota, or so it is claimed. Is SD Watch really the most trusted? All of us here at the Holabird Advocate have decided to have a contest at the Vote Caster to settle this. Any South Dakota blog that wants to is welcome to enter, but failing that it will be between the Holabird Advocate and SD Watch. So go to the Holabird Advocate Vote Caster Page and vote for the blog you trust the most.
Party on the Ponderosa
Christmas Day will look festive on the Ponderosa. Mary, Shelby, and Justin Hinkle have baked several dozen cookies. The Hinkles are thawing out a ham and a pork loin. There is even a box or two of some kind of wine. Lynette Goerhing called to find out if there is something she can bring. Jerry Hinkle suggested 2 tons of prime rib, a suggestion that did not go over very big.

Because Christmas is on a Sunday this year, Mary had to make a special trip into town for milk, cheese, and other staples. Luckily, Christmas won't be on a Sunday again until 2011.

On Tuesday night, I watched "48 Hours-Mystery" just to see how bad of a hatchet job they do on your Lord and Mine, Jesus the Christ. They trotted out the same old stuff, "Can't have a Virgin Birth, Couldn't be born in Bethlehem if he was from Nazareth..." I won't argue with that, because there are just some things that we have to take on faith. I believe in the Virgin birth, and the rest, not because it can be proven, but because it is in the Bible.

One thing that they did do that I can get behind is the actual birth date of Jesus. I have known for some time that he was not born on December 25. This date is taken from the pagan rite known as the "Birthday of the Invincible Sun" (or "ancient Saturnalia debauch,"). So when is the big day? According to Rutgers University Professor, Michael Molnar, the Star over Bethlehem appeared on April 17, 6 B.C., see link: http://www.rain.org/~karpeles/Star.html. I intend to investigate this further by reading Dr. Molnar's book, "The Star of Bethlehem", before I recommend changing the calendar to either the church or the state. I hope this gives believers and non-believers alike something to think about.

But in the evening however, when Mary brought E.E. his evening vittles, she told him that she was having Christmas dinner at her house. He asked her if there was anything he could bring for the dinner. Maybe that was from "Death takes a Holiday"

At any rate, E.E. had breakfast this morning. Will it be his last? Only God knows for sure. In the event that he does die before Joyce and Ken Ferris get back from Arizona, Jerry wants to keep the remains at the Ponderosa until then. Maybe they could sell tickets. Failing that, he'd like to stay with his grandfather in the mortuary especially if those lady undertakers come around every day or so.
Jauhn Hinkle Becomes Hero
by Karla Navarrette

I have been a member of the Associated Student Body (student government) at Sweetwater High School since my freshman year. Our job is to run all school assemblies, provide a budget, finance the other organizations, schedule sports event supervision, and the daily taste of selling chips, candy and soda at our concessions stand during lunch everyday.
Evey year 30 students become members of this organization and work hard hours to make high school memorable for the whole student body. Leading these students is the Assistant Principal Of Student Activities Mr. Jauhn Hinkle.
Mr. Hinkle became the AP of Student activities the same year I entered high school, and was a new and naive as I was. Throughout the years we have become a team in the organization. Organizing such event as LU-WOW, the 70's Rave and the annual Winterball. Planning such event on top of all the other obligations involved in his job have become Mr. Hinkle's life for the past 4 years.
Mr. Hinkle's goofy ways of reaching out to every student in our 2400+ student body is one of his best qualities. Whether it is dressing up as Elvis for the 70's Dance, or leading the school assemblies with an unmatching sense of humor. Working hard to improve the high school lives of the student of National City, which is one of the country's poorest community. The school is roughly 75% Hispanic, 20% Asian, and 5% White and Black, and other. Sweetwater High School is the only high school in National City, therefore everything that goes on in the high school impacts the community.
Every year the passes Mr. Hinkle creates not only those goofy memories for the high school student but also the intellectual memories of tripling the school budget, bring in wonderful guest speakers such as Rudy Rutiger, and other events that touch us deeply. Especially me, Karla Navarrete, a high school senior who has watched the high school grow who is impacted everyday by the way Mr. Hinkle cares, and by the extra numerous hours of dedication he gives the school. And the comfort and support he provides the Associated Student Body. (reprinted from www.yourtruehero.org)

South Dakota Songbook
"You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

You really are a heel.

You're as cuddly as a cactus,

You're as charming as an eel.

Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana

With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.

Your heart's an empty hole.

Your brain is full of spiders,

You've got garlic in your soul.

Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you,

with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.

You have termites in your smile.

You have all the tender sweetness

Of a seasick crocodile.

Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you

I'd take the seasick crockodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.

You're a nasty, wasty skunk.

Your heart is full of unwashed socks

Your soul is full of gunk.

Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,

are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.

You're the king of sinful sots.

Your heart's a dead tomato splot

With moldy purple spots,

Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing

with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable

rubbish imaginable,

Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.

With a nauseaus super-naus.

You're a crooked jerky jockey

And you drive a crooked horse.

Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstoolsandwich

With arsenic sauce.
Copyright © 1957, Dr. Seuss.

With the holiday season approaching and a new year dawning, companies may be planning to implement new computer systems and to upgrade their electronic equipment. If so, what should they do with the old equipment? The perfect solution may be to refurbish or recycle them for use by teachers, schools, nonprofits, community programs and other individuals in need. Some non-profit organizations specifically formed for recycling and redistributing this equipment will pick up unwanted computer items at little or no cost. Donating these digital devices may even warrant a charitable tax deduction. While donating (or selling) old laptops, computers, cell phones, personal digital assistants, and other equipment may seem to result in a win-win situation for all, if the proper precautions are not taken, it can raise security red flags. Companies must ensure confidential and proprietary data stored on these systems is completely removed before they are donated. After all, "delete does not mean delete" in the electronic world, and companies cannot risk cyber-attacks on their private information or even worse their clients data due to improper sterilization of a hard drive. If your company is planning to donate old equipment, even if only to its own employees, consider swapping out the hard drive before recycling the hardware.

Removing a hard drive from a computer before donating it is the most effective way to ensure your data will not fall into the wrong hands. An obvious drawback is that many entities accepting these donations may not have the budget or resources to install new drives in the old machines. Alternatively, companies may choose to wipe the hard drive using commercially available data wiping software programs. This software can be used to intentionally overwrite data using a specific or randomly generated pattern of characters. If run properly, a wiping utility will make the data unrecoverable. Be aware that in some instances, even when the product is run according to the product's instructions, traces of data may be left behind. In many cases, it may be prudent to have an expert handle the wiping process. Even though many wiping utilities are highly successful, most are not completely fool-proof and the use of such products may require some expertise to ensure all the data is properly destroyed.
Finding new ways to use old tech products through recycling can benefit a company as well as individuals and entities receiving and reusing these products. By keeping security in mind before donating this equipment, companies will turn an old piece of equipment into the perfect solution for someone in need.

Also reported is that The Ditty Bops TV show has ended it's run in New York after 4 episodes. However it airs in Madison, Wisconsin on Tuesdays at 10:30 pm on station WYOU. In San Francisco the show still airs as it has been on the 2nd and 4th Sunday of each month at 10:30pm on SF Cable Channel 29.

Single digit temps, among other things, kept some folks away, but there was a very festive atmosphere around the Nemec Christmas Party last night. The selection of food was great. Especially good was Carol Zilverberg's pumpkin pie, which did not suffer from too much cinnamon as some of them do.

Many important issues of the day were talked about, such as Mary Jo Nemec's new job with the state, Seth Zilverberg graduating College next year, and the Patrick Duell documentary that was on the Discovery Channel. Brigette Nemec, who was apparently hiding from somebody in the men's section of the party, did not care for that third topic, so it was cut short. Any young man out there interested in impressing Briggette should refrain from talking about fat guys and their bodily functions.

Barbara Nemec claims that all of her children read the Holabird Advocate (they were all on the honor roll at high school too, but we need not discuss that now). At any rate, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope to hear from each of the Nemec Children (all seven of them) concerning our coverage of the Nemec Christmas Party in our comments section. Those who don't know how the Comments section works should consult their big brother, Nick. We have a feeling he'll be the first one to check in.

This is so true
Why I Love South Dakota at Christmas

When it's Christmas in South Dakota,

And the gentle breezes blow,

About seventy miles an hour

And its fifty-two below,

You can tell you're in South Dakota

'Cause the snow's up to your butt.

You take a breath of Christmas air

And your nostrils both freeze shut.

The weather here is wonderful,

So I guess I'll hang around,

I could never leave South Dakota

My feet are frozen to the ground!

Joyce Ferris called the Ponderosa this morning to let her big brother, Harold Hinkle know that she and her husband Ken Ferris are heading to Arizona for Christmas. This year both of her children and their families will be together for Christmas. It's not known how long the relatives will stay, but Joyce and Ken are not planning to come back until April. If their Ember Gold Mine strikes it rich, they may not be back at all.

If Mary Hinkle heard right, Highmore Postmaster, Janet Kopecky told her that the price of postage stamps will be going up on January 8. This is odd, not only because it is Elvis Presley's Birthday, but because it is a Sunday as well. Of course, we don't blame Janet. We blame the USPS sponsorship of Lance Armstrong. Maybe they should put him to work delivering mail.

Dakota Wesleyan Sends Publisher Greetings
Among those who thought enough of Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle to spend 37 cents on a Christmas card on him is Dakota Wesleyan University. The reason for this honor is not spelled out, buy Jerry suspects that the University is trying to get him to enroll after he expressed interest some time ago. He reason he suspects this is that the card cover has 4 very attractive co-eds in mid snowball fight mode. Did it work? Not yet! None of the said co-eds were redheads, so E.E. wouldn't let him go if he wanted to, which he doesn't.
Another Dead Cat in the Family
Doug Hinkle called his parents last night to inform them that his family house cat, Priv Pothast, is dead. When Jerry Hinkle was told, his only question was "How could they tell?" (Ol' Priv was kinda laid back). Priv was 21 years old (147 to Lorne Green) and the only cat that Jerry ever saw that could open it's mouth to say "Meow" with no sound coming out.

Perhaps we should all be in mourning for all of the dead old cats in the news these days, but life goes on, and so should we all. The secret to having an old cat is simple. Keep them inside so they don't get ran over. I hope Shubert Geitzenauer doesn't read and understand this trend.

Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood are taking a step in the right direction. It is reported that last Saturday night, they made their domestic situation legal. Getting married is easy, it's staying married that seems to be the sticky part. This is Garth's second time around, and Trisha's third. I wish them well, and ask them to remember that God will bless their union if they ask, but the rest is up to them. That's what's so nice about God.

Which reminds me, isn't this the Christmas season? That's right! I said CHRISTMAS! It didn't kill me. I understand some folks are reluctant to use the word Christmas this year. I've seen very little in the way of Christmas specials. And I was looking forward to Nick and Jessica's Christmas special with the troops in Iraq. That's not gonna happen either. Even in church, we haven't had much Christmas music. That'll change by next week though. Actually, I understand why some retailers don't want to say Merry Christmas. If they do say it, I'd like it to be because they want to, not just because some Christian protesters are making them do it. I've noticed that the stock prices of Walmart and Target haven't got the Christmas spirit either. I hope that all changes soon.

In closing let me say that the Salvation Army could use a little Christmas giving. While other charities give their president a 6 figure salary, the head of the Salvation Army makes do with an annual salary of $13,000 (unlucky for some). They pour most of their money into helping people. They are a great outfit, and deserve our support. That's why I always put folding money in their kettle and Christmas time. I hope you will too!

Mr. Brooks, I hear you're trying to make another comeback. Please give it up! To paraphrase that great American, Toby Keith, "You're not as good as you once was". (My apologies to English teachers everywhere)

When you first started out, you did pretty good, even outstanding work. You were so popular, Mr. Brooks, that you had sold out shows all over the country. Your shows were in such demand that ticket vendors had to design elaborate lottery systems to the tickets while keeping the scalpers at bay. But there's not much call for that anymore is there. No, your heyday is pretty much over. You once said that you had more money than your grandchildren's grandchildren could spend. Your ex-wife and her lawyers took care of that for you.

The fact of the matter is that you have lost your way. Perhaps you just quit trying. The Garth Brooks of 2005 is nothing like the Garth of 1989. Did success go to your head? To be honest, you've been coasting for a while now. I haven't heard you on the radio too much until recently. Your latest effort leaves much to be desired. It's the same incoherent mumbling that we've come to expect from you.

The Worst part of your downhill slide is that you're taking Trisha Yearwood with you. She was once a nice little Methodist girl, and now you are dragging her down to your level. There is hope for you both, however. I pray that you will seek it out and find it.

As any true blue Holabird resident knows, it's not really Christmas until Ed and Barbara Nemec send the invitations to their Christmas Party that they have at their house every year. And that is just what was found in the home office's mailbox this afternoon. This year, the fun begins at 7 pm Friday, December 16 and never ends.

Up here in South Dakota we just recovered from a Historic event may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" - with a historic ice storm and blizzard of up to 24" inches of snow, with winds to 50-60 MPH that broke trees in half, snapped poles and lines, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed all roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands.
FYI:
George Bush did not come....
FEMA staged nothing....
No one howled for the government...
No one even uttered an expletive on TV...
Nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.....
No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House....
No one looted....
Phil Cantori of the Weather Channel did not come....
And Geraldo Rivera did not move in.
Nope, we just melted snow for water, sent out caravans to pluck people out of snow
engulfed cars and homes, we fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or
Aladdin lamps, and put on an extra layer of clothes because up here it is 'work or die'.
We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created
by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes for 'sittin at home' checks.
Even though a Category "5" blizzard of this scale has never fallen this early...We know
it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves. For those wondering why we choose
to live in a state where we can have such bad winters; We have low crime rates, great
education and only 11 people per square mile. I am glad to raise my children here.
I am proud to be a South Dakotan!

Last year, a few hundred Readers. This year, there's over 10,000. Last year, I sent 15 Christmas cards. This year, I sent 75. I am truly living in overflow, and the blessings just keep on coming. It's like that scene from "A Christmas Carol" Scrooge laughs and says, "I don't deserve to be so happy, but I am!"

The selection of a Person of the Year, which Todd Epp shortened to POTY, was easy for me. It's caused quite a stir on South Dakota Magazine Road Stories and South Dakota Politics blogs, and as a result causes a lot of folks to log on here. Do I deserve it? Maybe so or maybe no. Either way I've got it. Even the snow has come in overflow.

So what does it all mean? Perhaps it's just my turn. In a week or so, that blog from Ortley, South Dakota will catch on and leave me in the dust. That'll last until election season. Then we'll all be burning computer time trying to get our incumbents drummed out of office or retained in the same, depending on our point of view. It all comes in cycles.

Like the song says, "Old man trouble, I don't mind him! You won't find him at my door" Of course not! It's to cussed cold. So until the outside world intrudes on us, let's put the kettle on, make a cup of hot chocolate, sit by the computer, and enjoy the overflow.

Shelby is going to celebrate her birthday by getting her hair cut with her mother, Kristi Hinkle, and sister, Brittany Hinkle.

Instead of printing the words to an obscure Christmas song, we thought that we would link up Gordy Pratt and have him sing one of his best Christmas songs. It is set to a possibly recognizable tune. Yuletide

I thought you would enjoy this: One year at Christmas my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the birds back in the oven.When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,"Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! By the way my sister is a blond.

The winds have calmed, but there could be as much as 2 more inches of snow fall today. At the rate it's falling in Holabird, we passed the two inches mark by noon. Power is out in several South Dakota cities, towns and the rural areas. Holabird, as far as we know still has electricity. The west part of Highmore is without power. All in the Highmore area who needed shelter from the cold were taken to the nursing home and the fire hall. It's been reported that some were taken to shelter against their will.

Some of the so called experts say that using propane grills for heat is not a good idea because it deprives the user of oxygen. Harold Hinkle agrees with that notion. One expert says that the best way to heat the house is to bake cookies. Mary Hinkle says this will not work during a power failure if one has electric oven.

Nick Nemec is wondering how one can measure snow when the wind blows it bare in some spots and there are 8 foot drifts in others. The Holabird Advocate put this question to resident handyman, and Possum Lodge Member, Harold Hinkle. He says that the first thing to do is find an area where the wind isn't blowing (Been in South Dakota long, Harold?). Once this area is found, place a yardstick as far into the snow as possible.

Another method that is not as accurate is a snow catcher. They are available at Keloland.com/. Place the snow catcher outside when it snows. After the snow stops falling (which it will eventually) Melt the snow and put the water into a Keloland rain gauge. Multiply the result by 10, and you have your results. Harold, being a member of Possum Lodge, as the ability to looks outside and eyeball the correct snowfall measurement. He's funny that way.

"O Snowy Night"

Snow snow and more snow. Yes winter is in Holabird. And in the rest of Keloland to hear them tell the story. I'll be glad when sweeps are over. Then their "Blizzard 2005" coverage can cool off until February.

Thanksgiving may have not been the best time to talk about beef. As it happens of those who care, a little more man half would pay for South Dakota Certified Beef. The rest either believe that the beef price is high enough, or the don't want to buy it no matter the price. One guy would even forsake beef for Iowa Chops, and they are good too!

Next month's poll deals with a complaint that Christmas starts to early. I want to explore what you Readers think about this issue. Should we put the tree up on Easter, July 4th, or Halloween? Should we even take the tree down?

Weather permitting, I intend on setting up a UBS Entertainment web site. "All Fiction All The Time!" I'll move "The Jerry Hinkle Program" over there as well. Some folks actually do find it entertaining. It sure isn't news.

Of course, it wouldn't be the Holabird Advocate without my pick for "Person of the Year" for 2005. This years selection was easy, because this man, more than anyone helped the Holabird Advocate grow to overflowing heights.

That's all for this month, See ya'll in December for the 800th post of our little Newsblog!

Closer to Holabird, Nick Nemec was watching the blizzard coverage on Keloland praying that they'd get over in time for "The Price Is Right". God (and Shawn Cable) answered his prayer in the affirmative.

E.E. Hinkle's sliding glass door is frozen shut, making his family wonder what he will do for exercise since he won't be able to open and shut it 30 times in the night. Harold Hinkle disguised his voice as Santa Claus and talked to his granddaughter, Shelby Hinkle, to see if she's been naughty or nice. Justin Hinkle was too scared to go to the phone, however.

Jerry Hinkle risked life and limb in the elements to keep the cattle fed and watered. He also make some pudding for his grandfather. Mary Hinkle only left the house as far as her father-in-law's place, to make sure he was fed and watered. Vegetable soup and hot chocolate were the order of the day. Nothing quite like it to takethe chill out of your bones.

Ron LaFourtune went to feed his cattle and they were nowhere to be found. He later discovered that they were just relaxing in a snow drift. As the kids would say, "They were chillin'!". Ron has his calves consigned for auction, but he is rethinking this possibility in case the buyers don't show up at the sale barn.

The Holabird Advocate Circulation Department reports that pheasant hunting web sites from Iowa have been checking out our little Newsblog. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate were shocked to find out that one could shoot a pheasant in Iowa. Don't those Hawkeyes have their own state bird to shoot at? Let's hope that those Iowans are still able to cross the border in October, and they bring their money with them.

It has come to my attention that some people (and ya'll know who ya are) have been giving my dad a hard time about his afternoon nap. They call him lazy. Now let me just say this, my dad is not lazy, far from it. He works darn hard for that afternoon nap. He doesn't always get it either. Those are the days when some would like to put him to sleep, but that's neither here nor there.

No less a man than Red Green recommends an afternoon nap for middle aged men. "If you have a prayer of staying up past 8:30," Red quips, "You're going to have to take a nap." According to Red, men need that nap to catch up on all the sleep they needed but didn't get when they were younger. And besides, If my dad, at 71, is middle aged, so much the better. I pity the nursing home that deals with him at age 142, but other than that...

I should mention that even I, on the odd occasion, avail myself of a nap. The difference for me, of course, is that I really am lazy.

VOL. IV Issue 11Q
Bar JZ Wins Award
Holabird's own Bar JZ Ranch is one of only 3 ranches in the whole state of South Dakota to receive the American Hereford Association Gold TPR Breeder award. Bar JZ is one of the top polled Hereford ranches in South Dakota and the absolute top Hereford ranch in Holabird. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish to congratulate them on this latest award. It isn't the first and will not be the last.

Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, took the bad along with the good on Thanksgiving Day. The Meal at the Come Hahn Inn was top rate as expected. The highlight of the meal was Bonnie Nickleson's "Dalmation Dessert" as Larry Nickleson calls it. The recipe is sure to be sought after by all who love to cook, and eat, good food. So good was this dessert that it had to be hidden so that it could be served with the leftovers for evening vittles. Not a crumb of the dessert was leftover after evening vittles was over.

Jerry walked around the neighborhood in the afternoon. His hands were getting quite chilly in the duration. He discovered that it was 18 degrees outside. He didn't have any gloves. Good thing he had a coat on at least.

Jerry also tried to talk his niece Katlin Pothast into coming over to the Ponderosa and cooking for him, but after an hour of her hitting him over the head, he decided to cook for himself.

Joyce Ferris sure had fun with her Father, E.E. Hinkle at the Ponderosa. He slept through the night the first time, but was back tom-catting the second night. Joyce brought her freshly declawed and neutralized cat along with her for amusement. E.E. Wasn't so amused, so she'll be leaving tomorrow morning.

The actor known as Arnold from "Happy Days" died yesterday of natural causes at his Las Vegas home. Pat Morita is perhaps best known As Mr. Miagi, who taught balance and focus to all who watched him in the "Karate Kid series of movies.

Born in northern California on June 28, 1932 to migrant fruit pickers, Morita spent most of his early years in the hospital with spinal tuberculosis. He later recovered only to be sent to a Japanese-American internment camp in Arizona during World War II. After the war, Morita's family tried to repair their finances by running a Sacramento restaurant. It was there that Morita first showed an interest in a show business career, eventually committing to it full time at the age of 30. He is survived by his wife and three daughters from a previous marriage.

The overflow keeps coming on for Jerry Hinkle. He was going to be content with just him and his grandfather sharing a pound of ground turkey and some instant potatoes. Harold Hinkle reports that Joyce Ferris will be coming over to the Ponderosa to spend time with her father, E.E. Hinkle. It is Joyce's hope that Jerry will feel free to join the Thanksgiving celebration at the Come Hahn Inn. Even without Chocolate Yam Cake, this will be the best Thanksgiving ever for the Hinkle family, or at least in the top 10.

The Holabird Advocate home office will be closed tomorrow in honor of the holiday. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish all of you Readers out there a Happy Thanksgiving!

All right now, let's get one thing straight from the start I detest the expression "Turkey Day". The turkey is not what this day is all about. It's about being thankful for what we've been given, and not given, this year and every year.

It's like that song by Jeff Easter, "Thank You Lord". When he wrote that song, he was not exactly in the best financial shape. He was living with his wife and baby in a run down two room shack. He was still grateful to God for what he had. Jeff Easter had all that he needed. He knew it wasn't much in the eyes of the world, but it was all he needed.

I feel like that. I wouldn't be any happier if I had $1.5 billion in the bank. Sure, my home is not the best, yet it's all I could ever want. I may not always get along with my 103 year old roommate, but until the Heavenly Father evicts him, I could never get along without him. Whenever I am hungry, it is by choice, as there is always so much food around. I may not dress the best either, but as long as I'm not naked, neither I nor the people around me can complain too much.

Last year, one of my nieces brought a friend to thanksgiving dinner. He was such a polite young man. He was always complimenting the food. And he was always thanking us for allowing him to be part of our Thanksgiving celebration. We should always be that way. Not just on Thanksgiving Day, but every other day of the year as well.
South Dakota Songbook

Harold also will not allow corn in the shop for fear that the corn kernels will magically turn into mice. He's seen it happen, or so he claims.

With Thanksgiving just 2 days away, the various members of the Hinkle family are getting ready for the holiday. Darrel and Kristi Hinkle are planning to see her family in Deadwood. Harold and Mary Hinkle are planning to see her family at the Come Hahn Inn. Jerry Hinkle is planning to spend the day with his family at the Ponderosa. Since it'll just be him and his grandfather, E.E. Hinkle, Jerry bought a pound of ground turkey and will make potatoes and gravy with the instant potatoes and canned gravy that is on hand. If only he had the recipe for Ms. Amanda's Chocolate Yam Cake recipe. Then his Thanksgiving would be made.

In the evening, Jerry was thinking of making the cocktail drink that he learned about on "How I Met Your Mother" last night. It's half cranberry juice and half potato vodka, with cube of turkey bullion. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish to remind our courageous, dynamic Publisher that, on the show, Lily vomited after drinking that mess, and he might do the same.

All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish to extend our heartfelt sympathy and condolences to the family of Dr. John Myers. His sister-in-law, Lucille Myers, and niece, Roxie Goehring just happen to be two of our most valuable readers.

Mr. Myers went to a Sioux Falls Hospital because something was wrong with him that they he thought an operation would help. Long story short, it didn't help. He's in God's hands now, and that will help. His troubles are all over now. His family's troubles are just starting. They will get through those troubles the same way he did, by relying on God.

Harold Hinkle reports that his sister, Mavis Kennedy, has managed to get her husband, George Kennedy, back home and resting comfortably after knee surgery. It will be a while before George is 100%, but he can already go up and down 3 steps. Before too long, he'll be a kicker for the Broncos.

With a 30 point buck on the loose in the Holabird area, Deer hunters from all over are combing the countryside with visions of venison for the thanksgiving table. Ron Lafourtune's Railroad buddy, Tim, is among that number. He and his hunting party have 12 deer licenses, and only 6 tags filled so far.

It's that time once again. The San Jose State University "Dark and Stormy Night" awards. Every year, SJSU gives awards to "The worst way to start a novel" This year A 43-year-old quantitative analyst for Microsoft Great Plains is the winner . A resident of Fargo, North Dakota, McKay is currently visiting China, perhaps to escape notoriety for his dubious literary achievement. His entry, extolling a subject that has engaged poets for millennia, may have been inspired by Roxie Hart of the musical "Chicago." Complaining of her husband's ineptitude in the boudoir, Roxie laments, "Amos was . . . zero. I mean, he made love to me like he was fixing a carburetor or something."
The competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873). The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Although best known for "The Last Days of Pompeii" (1834), which has been made into a movie three times, originating the expression "the pen is mightier than the sword," and phrases like "the great unwashed" and "the almighty dollar," Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words that the "Peanuts" Beagle Snoopy plagiarized for years, "It was a dark and stormy night."
The contest began in 1982 as a quiet campus affair, attracting only three submissions. This response being a thunderous success by academic standards, the contest went public the following year and ever since has attracted thousands of annual entries from all over the world.

VOL. IV Issue 11L
Cold Snap Freezes Ponderosa Water
Temperatures dropped, the wind picked up, but the snow fall was not much. In fact the ground soaked up all the snow in the Holabird area. With an overnight low of 6 degrees, it was pretty chili. It was so cold that the only place with water was E.E. Hinkle's place. It took Harold and Jerry Hinkle quite a while to thaw out the livestock water tanks, but the house took even longer. Tank heaters are in place to help keep this from happening again too soon.
Holabird Woman in Head-on Crash
An accident near Pierre sent three people to the hospital this morning. One of them was Susan Roshau of Holabird. The head-on crash happened about three miles east of Pierre on Highway 14 near Dell Acres around 7:30 a.m. The crash occurred when an SUV driven by Mrs. Roshau of Holabird was traveling westbound and she swerved to miss an animal in the roadway. Her vehicle then entered into the eastbound lane where it collided with a car driven by Thomas Sogaard of Pierre. Sara Sween of Pierre was a passenger in the Sogaard vehicle. Mrs. Roshau’s SUV came to a stop in the ditch and Sogaard’s car ended up along the south shoulder of the roadway. The Pierre Rescue Squad’s jaws of life was used at the accident scene, but says all three people involved in the crash were wearing their seatbelts, so injuries to all three were not life threatening. The victims were taken to St. Mary’s Hospital by ambulance with early reports indicating that Sogaard sustained minor injuries, Sween had possible broken bones and Roshau received facial trauma in the crash. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate sure hopes that Mrs. Roshau heals quickly.
George Kennedy Gets Knee Replaced
Sometime today, George Kennedy had an artificial knee put in. He and wife, Mavis Kennedy, went to Rapid City yesterday to get ready for the replacement surgery. It was reported that their daughter Connie Hopkins was going along with them. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish George and his brand new knee get along.

UBS meteorologist, Storm Chaser saw no moisture in Holabird's future last week. On Saturday afternoon, however, the Ponderosa got .20 of an inch of rain, or as Harold Hinkle called it, "a North Hyde Flood". Tonight there is a chance of snow tonight, but Harold doesn't think that it will happen.

Just in case the snow does fly tonight, the Hinkles decided to start weaning the calves this morning. The separation was a little easier than it has been. The weaning continues tomorrow so that the calves will be calm by Thanksgiving Day.

The party theme was "Madagascar" for the 4th Birthday of Justin "Buddy" Hinkle. No rocket boots for this boy genius. He made do with a cake, some ice cream, and several dollars worth of toys, some of which are still not broken. The toy companies say they are not for children under 3, but a 4 year old can wear them out. Meanwhile when Jerry, Doug, and Darrel Hinkle were that age all they had was a plastic squeaky cat, which is still at E.E. Hinkle's house. The cat doesn't squeak anymore, but it's still in one piece. Toy's were built to last back then.

Mary Hinkle has started roasting the turkey for the dinner tomorrow. Ellen Wheelhouse is in charge of the potatoes. Both ladies do excellent work inthis regard. The church should be thankfull that they have two such wonderful servants.

I listen to the Country Music Station in the morning, but only because the others are all talk. There are a few songs that I am tired of. Right now, my #1 pet peeve is that "Billy's got his beer goggles on". Yet the song has brought up that truth from my own youth, "Too much of anything is bad for you."

My father pointed out to me earlier this month that one can not get drunk on 6 oz. of beer. Well, he doesn't anyway. As for myself, there are plenty of things that I indulge in that is more than 6 oz. worth. I could stop at 6 oz. of ice cream, or beef, or anything else.

Everytime that the Thanksgiving holiday season rolls around, I think of those who haven't got it as good as I do. In the world, even in this country, there may be people who don't get as much 6 oz. of food per day. If only I could share it. I really would if I could.

Today I feel bad about my great good fortune. Tomorrow, I will eat like a chain gang on a day pass. Will I feel guilty about it. Yes, but not until afterwards. It's easy to talk about limiting oneself to 6 .oz of any one food. One can even talk of drinking 6 oz. of beer, or smoking just 6 oz. of cigarettes (or something else). It's another thing to do it. If any of you Readers out there can do it, you have my respect, because I'm not that strong.

School was closed today. The mail didn't go out. Nobody could even make a deposit at the bank. And yet, there are some folks who were out there doing their bit for the American Way. The UPS driver was out today. Kristi Hinkle is in Gettysburg doing her duty as an EMT. Mary Hinkle is delivering care baskets to area shut-ins. Harold Hinkle, one of the veterans that we celebrate today was building fence today like he has been doing all week. In fact we have fighting men and women doing their bit for America all over the world. We get the day off while they get the day on. What a Country!

Jerry Hinkle, Holabird Advocate Publisher, received an interesting invitation from a Mr. Douglas Wiken. He is starting up a network of blogs called SD Bloglist. He claims that it isn't meant to replace SD 123 (which according to some folks could use replacing). Realistic blogs by Real South Dakotans. Not a bad philosophy. Besides anyone who wants to promote the Holabird Advocate is welcome to it. You can read our profile at sodakbloglist.blogspot.com/ . This link is also available at our Free-for-All Links page.

To post a comment, simply click the press time by our Publisher's signature on that particular edition. Then scroll down and click the link. It's easy to find. Mr. Epp wasn't even looking for it when he found it. And even though he disagrees with Mr. Epp's divine assessment of our Publisher, he wishes to thank him for the compliment.

Despite the fact that Elly May Clampett, Ginger Grant, or Mary Ann will not be seen on it, the Dish that Mary Hinkle installed at the Ponderosa is working out about average. The Hinkles discovered that the TV has to be on channel 60 to get reception from the Dish. And Jerry Hinkle discovered that Fraser Crane has a brother, and that his dead father just looks that way. Jerry also learned about a show called "What's Happening!!" that takes place in the Sanford house, but Fred and Lamont aren't there. Harold has discovered that CMT has more advertising that music videos. In fact they have more advertising that the broadcast channels. All of the Hinkles have noticed that the "local stations" still have the best programs.

UBS meteorolgist, Storm Chaser, reports 40+ mph winds around the Holabird area. This explains the dust storm that cropped up late this afternoon. All of us at the Holabird Advocate are asking ourselves "Is this November?". Storm also reports that no rain or snow is predicted for the next week.

Early this morning, a crew came in from Aberdeen to install a Dish 60 system for Mary Hinkle. Yes, for Mary the blessings just keep on coming. The curse doesn't kick in until she has to pay for it. The good news is, now the Hinkle family can watch "Deadwood" on HBO. That is, they think they can. They have to find it first. Jerry Hinkle is also looking for "Beverly Hillbillies", "Gilligan's Island", "Gunsmoke", and "Bonanza"