 |
 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Thursday, December 30, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12N Tsunami Death Toll Rises Again As the casualties in the Asian Tsunami reach past the 100,000 mark, requests for aid become more pronounced. Any Holabird Advocate Readers who would like to help with a cash donation should get credit cards handy and go to http://www.networkforgood.org/ and click on the tsunami tragedy link. Among the charities mentioned is the Salvation Army, the official charity of the Holabird Advocate. New Year Preparation Underway Folks all around the world are getting ready to say "So long" to 2004, and "Howdy, there" to 2005. Folks around here are no exception. Here are just some of those plans: George and Mavis Kennedy are planning to leave bright and early Friday morning heading for Green Valley, Arizona. They are hoping to make New Mexico by nightfall. No word for sure on what is causing the swelling in Mavis's neck. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate will continue to pray for her. She reports that one of her resolutions for 2005 is to stay as far away from doctors as she can. We can't blame her. Ken and Joyce Ferris are thinking about coming for another Ponderosa visit. Exactly when has not been divulged, but despite Joyce saying, "See you in April" to her father, E.E. Hinkle, it is suspected they will be back there before then. They'd better get a move on toward Arizona themselves if they expect to beat the upcoming snow storm. Mike and Sandy Soulek will be in South Dakota sometime in the next few weeks. They are also looking to a possible visit to the Ponderosa as well. Look for a few shocks when they do come and find out how much warmer E.E. Hinkle's hands are since the installation of his pacemaker. Harry and Dianne Macek are hosting a New Years Dinner on Saturday afternoon. Harold and Mary Hinkle are among those invited. It is suspected that if the weather permits, they will make it over there and bringing Agnes Hahn as well. Of course, there is also the special communion service planned by Reverend Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Church of Universal Life. Mary Hinkle has hidden the bottle of Cold Duck, but he is praying she will bring it back before year's end. We ask that you pray for that too. Publisher's Notes by Jerry Hinkle Publisher, Holabird Advocate We are going to be entering the 4th Year of the Holabird Advocate. Big things are in store for our little Newsblog. There are a couple of syndication deals that we are looking at that may help us expand the scope of our activity. You may find advertisements on the Holabird Advocate Front Page if this goes through. We will use the any and all revenue (except for a 10% cut to the Holabird Church of Universal Life) to fund the Audblog Project, and other projects that may come along. That is, providing these syndication deals pan out. I was pleased to see that my selection of the American Voter for "Person of the Year" for 2004 went over so well. I should never have worried about that. There really was no other choice. The Gmail Project has stored 22MB of information and counting. All pieces of Gmail are read and all feedback is appreciated, whether good or bad. Starting next year, I will have an Entertainment Editor. His name is Ethan Aniston (a pen name to hide his identity) . He knows all kind of stuff that people tell him when they don't know he's listening. Things that they wouldn't if they knew he was going to tell all of us. Next month's poll will deal with Readers' Church habits. I am wondering how many of you use the Holabird Church of Universal Life as well as how you use it. You do use it, don't you? That is all for 2004! See ya'll next year Readers!
Wednesday, December 29, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12M Death Toll In Tsunami Expected to Reach 100,000 The Asian Tsunami that has claimed 80,000 lives plus so far is expected to climb further. Help is on the way from the developing countries of the world. All of us at the Holabird Advocate are stunned and shocked by the devastation caused by this turn of events. As is everyone else in all of the free world. Our hearts and prayers go out to all those effected by this disaster. Especially Petra Nemcova who was injured quite severely with broken bones and all. She was on the beach with her photographer boyfriend, when they were swept up. He is still missing. We are impressed by the heroics of Mr. Jet Li, the famous action movie star, who managed to pull his daughter out of the storm before she would have met with certain death. This sort of thing could not be possibly have been scripted any better. Or worse, depending on your point of view. South Dakota Songbook
"Rusty Chevrolet" (DeCaire / Potila) 1987 Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet. Down the road I go, sliding all the way. I need new piston rings. I need some new snow tires. My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire! Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away. I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay. The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay. Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet! I went to IGA, to get some Christmas cheer. I just passed up my left front tire and it's getting' hard to steer. Speeding down the highway, right past the county cops. I have to drag my swampers just to get the car to stop. Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away. I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay. The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay. Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet! Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big, blue cloud of smoke. People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what's the joke! I have to get to Wal-Mart to pick up my layaway, Cause Santa's comin' soon in his big, old, rusty sleigh! Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away. I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay. The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay. Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet! Top Ten Resolutions Assessment by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate It was one year ago today, on December 29, 2003 that I made this Top Ten list of resolutions. I heard on the "Good Morning America" TV show that only 12% of people that make resolutions end up keeping them. Since I made 10 resolutions, I'll see if I kept 12% or if I did better. As I go through the list, I hope you will assess how you did. I hope you did as well or better than I did. Still, if you did 12%. It's better than nothing. I will score each resolution on a 0-10 scale. SO NOW FROM THE HOME OFFICE IN HOLABIRD, SOUTH DAKOTA HERE IS MY ASSESSMENT OF THE TOP TEN LIST THAT I MADE ONE YEAR AGO TODAY
1. Get an interview with Stephanie Herseth ( it may be easier to exercise, but this is meant to be a challenge) And how! I didn't do that. I didn't even try. Score 0 2. Be less judgmental about my mother's wine drinking (another toughie, but it is a personal growth exercise) I did better here, but didn't do my best. Score 6 3. Now that my brother Doug has been named "Firefighter of the Year" for 2003, encourage him to be "Husband of the Year" for 2004 I dare anyone to say I didn't keep this one! Some may say I went overboard a time or two. Score 10 4. Keep the light of Justice, Freedom, Wisdom, Truth, and Love shining all year I did a fair job here in some respects in other ways I failed. Score 5 5. Take better care of Grandad (it's gonna be a long year) Not that long as it turns out, but I had help. Score 7 6. Take a vacation this year (Did you hear that Mavis?) Mavis heard me say it, but didn't see me do it. Score 0 7. Be more tolerant of Oprah (this year I learned to quit hating Janklow, let's see if I can do the same with Oprah) I did try, and she didn't make it easy with her big ol' 50th birthday party and flapping her big obnoxious mouth up and down all over the place, bellowing like an old cow. Score 1 8. Make Audblog work for the Holabird Advocate I did get a cellphone, but haven't got the Audblog. Of course there is always next year. Score 0 9. Endorse a Democrat for President I endorsed Lieberman. Didn't do any good, but I did it. Score 10 10. As I try to do each and every one of these things over the next 12 months to remember what Grandad always says, "Just do the best you can" Did I do the best I could? No! Not really. Score 8 My final score 47. Ordinarily this would be a failing grade, but I did almost 400% above average. Not bad, but I could have done better.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12L Nearly 60,000 Dead In Tsunami The death toll keeps rising in the wake of an Indian Ocean tsunami and tidal wave caused by an earthquake that registered 9 on the Richter scale. Among the Missing is the boyfriend of swimsuit Model Petra Nemcova. Rev. Jerry Hinkle would like to volunteer his services for some Hands on grief counseling for Ms. Nemcova anytime she's ready. You know, just in case he doesn't come back. The Leftovers Are Not Left Over On Christmas Day, Ruby Hoffman cleaned out her refrigerator and gave all of her leftovers to her daughter, Kristi Hinkle. Ruby was expecting to spend New Years Eve in Oklahoma. It seems that somehow she isn't going to Oklahoma after all, and so asked Kristi to bring her leftovers back. Kristi had to inform her mother that she was too late in asking, as all of the leftovers had been eaten. The good news is that if Ruby comes to the Ponderosa for the special communion service put on by Rev. Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Church of Universal Life, she may get some leftovers to take back home with her. Jerry Hinkle Gets Education In Texas Hold 'Em 101 Keeping a promise he made to Tracy Lennick, Jerry Hinkle played a game of Texas Hold 'Em Poker. At least that's what they told him it was. It was Jerry, Tracy, and Josh Peterson. The very first hand set the stage for the rest of the game. Tracy thought he had the winning hand, and bet it all. Too bad for Jerry that they were not playing for actual money, because he had the winning hand. Nobody was more surprised than Jerry about that. Since Tracy was the dealer, Jerry thought for sure he'd have some way of stacking the deck or dealing from the bottom. The amazing thing was that everyone was sure Tracy had a full house to Jerry's three of a kind. It is possible that Tracy let him win. Jerry isn't sure what took place even now. " I don't know, and I still don't understand, how those Texans play poker," Jerry was heard to say. "But it sure worked neat for me, Bubba"!
Monday, December 27, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12K Holabird's Lost Is Found Francis Marshall of Holabird went out for a walk at about 3:30 pm Christmas Day. After a while, his family was concerned and went out to look for him. After that proved fruitless, the Highmore Fire Department was called in at 5 pm. They, and several other men and women from the tri county area joined in the search, including Darrel Hinkle. Churches in the community also sent out the word for people to pray. And pray they did. The efforts paid off as Francis was found near the old Earl Mosher place which is about 4 miles away from his home at about 11:15 pm that evening, just as the mercury dipped to 15 degrees. His body temperature was 97 degrees. He was taken to hospital, and is said to be improving. It has been reported, but not confirmed that Francis is in a stage of Alzheimer's Disease, and may have gotten lost or disoriented. All of us at the Holabird Advocate rejoice at this Christmas miracle, and send out best wishes to Francis and his family and friends at this time. No Blue Christmas for Jerry Hinkle He didn't get everything he asked for, but as Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle observed, "There's a Christmas every year!" His biggest disappointment was not being able to find the DVD box set of "Sanford and Son" for his father. Doug Hinkle and Noel Pothast did not brings gifts for each of their family members, but did bring a basket of goodies to share. Among the more memorable Christmas gifts were a "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" book from Andy Lennick (you can tell he reads the Holabird Advocate) and A Johnny Cash CD from Darrel Hinkle. Darrel must have got it on eBay, because Kristi Hinkle, Not believing a minister would listen to anything like that kept telling him he could but it up for sale on that sight. Jerry is keeping it regardless. Darrel knows his brother pretty well. Brittany Hinkle gave her uncle a picture of a Christmas tree. She didn't sign it, but it is still lovely. Agnes Hahn's house was a veritable revolving door of children, grandchildren and great- grandchildren. Getting the prize for the farthest distance travelled would have to go to Elizabeth, Dylan and Josh Peterson from Woodbury, CT. They were without Tim, but hoping to have him along in July next year. One sad bit of news was that Elizabeth's other Grandma died last Christmas. On the bright side, her mother Donna Rose Durrett, however, is alive and doing well preaching at an old country church in Nebraska. A gal her age could do a lot worse. Plans For Ponderosa Communion Service Reverend Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Church of Universal Life, has been eyeing Noel's bottle of Sparkling Cold Duck. He is hoping to use it for a special communion service that he wishes to throw together at the Ponderosa on New Years Eve. All who are able are invited to attend. Red Green will be on Public TV that night as well, so that should be fun. Start the New Year by getting right with Jesus. If you are able to participate or wish to donate homemade bread or anything else, let Rev. Hinkle know at hinklejerry@yahoo.com or Gmail the Holabird Advocate at publisher@gmail.com and we will pass it on. Walk-ins are welcome as well. Who is Colleen Hinkle? Strange things are afoot at the Goehring web site on Myfamily.com. Sightings of a Colleen Hinkle have been reported. Not much is known about this person. Only that she has the same birthday as Kevin Hansen. Jerry Hinkle said in a statement this afternoon, "Looks like I have a sister or niece that nobody's told me about."
Wednesday, December 22, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12J
Cam Cowan Taken to Hospital Holabird's own Cam Cowan is now in the hospital in Pierre. Her situation has been rumored to be critical. Reports say her lungs are filling with fluid, Hopefully, she will improve in time to be home for Christmas. Cam has been fighting cancer since about the age of 19, and bravely so. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate believe she will win this war, with God's help. Ponderosa Gets First Blast of Winter Snow is falling on the Ponderosa Valley, giving a hint of the Winter season. Lately it has been too cold to snow. In fact it was -4 this morning. No clue about the wind chill, but Jerry Hinkle reports that it was so cold while he was outside feeding cows that he paused by some freshly made cow manure to warm himself. Cow pies start out at around 104 degrees (the average body temperature of a cow), but cool off rather quickly in sub-zero weather. The snow is a welcome sight, but it is not expected to accumulate to any significant amount according to Holabird Advocate meteorologist, Storm Chaser. In fact we could be in for some double digit below 0 temps, not including wind chill. He expects it to warm up to the 40s above 0 for Christmas Day, though. Ponderosa Smoke Alarm Installed Harold Hinkle had enough faith in the new smoke alarm he bought to hang it on the ceiling. Tonight, as he prepared a rib steak in the kitchen, he got a little flame action going. The smoke alarm did, as we here at the Holabird Advocate predicted, let him know that the steak was indeed done. Well done in fact.
South Dakota Songbook "The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen" (Tune: "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen") The restroom door said "Gentleman" And so I walked inside, I took two steps and realized I'd been taken for a ride, I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied, By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse, What could be worse Than two old nuns, three old ladies and a nurse... The restroom door said "gentlemen" It must have been a gag, As soon as I walked in there I ran into some old hag, She sprayed me with a can of mace And hit me with her bag, I could tell this just wouldn't be my day, What can I say? This just wasn't turning out to be my day... The restroom door said "gentlemen" And I would like to find, That crummy little creep Who had the nerve to switch the sign, 'Cause I have two black eyes And one big bruise on my behind, So I can't sit with comfort and joy Boy, oh boy, No, I'll never sit with comfort and joy. North of 40 by Red Green Christmas is a time for reflection. A time to sit back and remember all of the things you've done. The new experiences, accomplishments, and so forth. You may find that you've done diddly squat this year. In that case sit down and watch a lot of Christmas specials on TV. That way you can rest in the warm glow of knowing that Frosty the Snowman, Charlie Brown, and the Grinch Who Stole Christmas didn't do anything new either. And remember, I'm Pullin' for ya. We're all in this together. Monday, December 20, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12I Harold Hinkle Alarms His Family After seeing the news story about the 3 kids who died in a Sioux Falls house fire, Harold Hinkle considered getting a newer smoke alarm. So, when he went to Pierre a few days ago, he purchased a brand new smoke detector. He has not installed it in the house yet, but rather tests it frequently by striking matches and holing them next to the unit. It appears to be working. When it does get installed Mary Hinkle can grill steak in the oven, and then she will know when they are done. Geitzenauers Send Christmas Letter For the first time in a couple of years, Greg and Susan Geitzenauer have sent out a Christmas letter. It appears that with work and children, they are both quite busy. All are doing well in the "Big G" House, or so it appears. We are all glad to ear that. Our Publisher learned quite a bit by reading the letter they send. First off he's been spelling Clare's name wrong for quite some time (the correct spelling appears to be Claire, which we will try to keep on file. But hey! He has never spelt Geitzenauer wrong. Not even the Blogger Spell Check can say that). Secondly, our Publisher has also learned that the idea of moving to Norway has crossed their minds since the election. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that they visit awhile before any such move. Could be they'll change their minds after about three weeks of lefsa and lutefisk. Actually, he feels that they might as well be living there since he hardly see them in Holabird. Our courageous dynamic Publisher, Jerry Hinkle has on occasion wondered what it would be like to go to Stavenger, Norway and tread the soil (or is it "trod"?) that his great- grandfather, Knute Haiwick was so eager to get away from all those years ago. "One thing I gotta give Susan", stated Jerry, "is that at least she seems to have a grasp on the Norwegian Language. That's half the battle right there". W named "Time Magazine's Man of the Year"? by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate I really don't get it. "Time" Magazine made President Bush their "Man of the Year". Why is that? Just because he was re-elected President? Must have been a short list this year. This is not the first time W has received this "honor". He got it in 2000 as well. That time he did get it because he was elected. The Holabird Advocate selected the American voter to receive this honor on their behalf. In all modesty I must say we chose better. Say what you will about W, but he was elected President only because of the voters. Oh well, better luck next year "Time"! That makes the score 2-1 in our favor in case anyone is keeping score. Saturday, December 18, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12H Nemec Christmas Party Fills the House It is now officially Christmas in Holabird now that the Nemec Christmas Party has come and gone. Reports are that all who were invited accepted. Ed and Barbara Nemec had a house full of people. The ham was prepared to perfection by Barbara. The meat plate was constantly being refilled as guests took slice after slice. Nobody admitted to going away hungry for good reason as there was plenty of food, good and otherwise (and none of which was otherwise). There was no report of a card game, which is unusual at this function. Some topics of discussion were April Zilverberg's trip to Austrailia via Amsterdam and Los Angeles, losing luggage on airplane trips, and the upcoming marriage of Bridget Nemec later this month in Deadwood (more details on that will hopefully be forthcoming) It was mentioned that Ed and Barbara do not know how much longer they will be doing this Christmas party in the future. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that they can continue on as long as humanly possible. That is all any of us can ask. Gmail Shoots Up To 21 MB A sudden burst of Gmail has pushed the capacity of the Holabird Advocate Gmail account to 21 MB, lightly more that 2% of the total. For those keeping score, that means that there is 979 MB yet to go. For all of those helping in this project, thanks a lot. Keep up the good work. Memo to Jodie Foster: I'm Here If You Want Me by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Ms. Foster, I have heard a rather outrageous story about you. Word on the streets of Hollyweird is that you are melancholy about the fact that you are not called on by directors to do Romantic Lead work. How sad it is Ms. Foster that you, an Academy Award Winning actress, do not have your choice of acting roles. I have a solution that may sound crazy. So crazy, in fact, that it could indeed work, if you were inclined to make it do so. I have plenty of good ideas for an actress of your-attributes. One such idea is a Monday night Sitcom on CBS. I haven't a title, but the premise is that you are living on a ranch with your husband (played by me of course) and his 102 year old grandfather (played by Patrick Henshaw). If you feel that TV is beneath your station (and by gosh and golly you should ma'am, uh Ms. Foster) I have a movie idea. It is a western titled "Day of Reckoning". It is about a soiled dove (played by you) who falls in love with Richard "dead eye Dick" Dixon, Sheriff of Deadwood Gulch, South Dakota. There is more, but this is all I'm willing to reveal just know. Don't want to give too much away. So anyway, Ms. Foster, please let me know if anything here tickles your fancy. I look forward to hearing from you, but I won't exactly be waiting with sandwiches by the phone, if you know what I mean. Thank you for your time, and good luck out there! Wednesday, December 15, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12G History Comes Alive on Holabird Advocate "This Day In History" is the latest Bravenet service that the Holabird Advocate has availed itself of. It should be worth a look to any and all history buffs who read the Holabird Advocate. Let us know what you think. Holabird Advocate Gmail up to 9MB Since April 20, 2004, we have tried to fill the 1 GB of storage space in our Gmail account. Earlier today it was reported that our capacity reached 9 MB. That's just 991 MB to go. Holabird Advocate Readers have been sending junk mail from all over the country and around the world (no viruses yet, please don't send them). So far we've received sweepstakes entries, software deals, ads for pills for all kinds of maladies, real or imagined, and chances to help smuggle money out of Africans nations (which we aren't taking G-men, we'll forward them to you if you like) Of course it's not all junk mail. We've also been given many messages of hope, love, and encouragement, and even a little well deserved criticism. Keep 'em coming, we have room for much more than this. Apologies and Corrections by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate It has come to our attention that a small, but important, error was made by the Holabird Advocate last week. We had reported that Ana Nemec was named second runner up at the Snow Queen Pageant in Highmore. That was incorrect, as there was no such prize given. Ana's mother, Mary Jo Nemec, wanted this matter corrected before the other two girls that didn't win found out and got mad. Also a personal apology to my cousin Tracy. We were supposed to play a game after he was done taking pictures at his Confirmation reception, but I ducked out to see Colin Zilverberg instead. I promise that the next time you want to play a game or two, I'll stay put. Especially if you let me one once in a while.
South Dakota Songbook (guess what! Tonight at sundown Chauncey is over! Here, as promised is part II) "Chanukah Song Part II" Time to take out those menorahs! Put on your yalmacas time for Hanukkah So much fun-uka To celebrate Hanukkah Hanukkah is, the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight crazy nights When you feel like the only kid in town Without a Christmas tree Here's a new list of people who are Jewish Just like you and me Winona Ryder drinks Manashevits' wine Then spins a dreadle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein Guess who give and receives loads of Hanukkah toys? The girls from Barukasouhl and all three Beastie Boys Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish, Courtney Love is half too Put them together, what a funky, Jew We got Harvey Kitell and flash dancer Jennifer Bealls Yasmine Bleath from Baywatch is Jewish and Yes her boobs are real O.J. Simpson, still not a Jew But guess who is, the guy who does the voice for Scooby-Doo Bob Dylan was born a Jew, then he wasn't, but now he's back Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 'cuz we're pretty good In the sack Guess who got bar mitzvah-ed on the PGA tour? No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods, I'm talking about Mr. Happy Gilmore So many Jews are in the show-biz Bruce Springsteen isn't Jewish, but my mother thinks he is Tell that old harmonica, it's time to celebrate Hanukkah It's not pronounced Chanukkah The C is silent in Hanukkah So your your Hooked on Phonic-a Get drunk on Tea or tonica If you really really wanna-ka Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah Monday, December 13, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12F
Old Home Weekend for Hinkles Last Saturday and Sunday were filled with reunions of one sort or another with the Hinkle Family. Christmas had brought a few of their old friends together with them. On Saturday evening, Harold, Mary, and Jerry Hinkle went to the Jackie Quinn concert at the Methodist Church in Highmore. They have known her since her name was Jackie Scott. They have also enjoyed her singing since she was a girl of 12. Jackie is a singer and songwriter as well as an up and coming Christian recording artist from Lamoni, Iowa. She has seen much life in the short time she has lived, good and bad. She has come through with a strong belief in God as well as herself. She had books and CDs for sale in the vestibule, but because they were $13 each, Jerry thought it would be bad luck to purchase anything. Besides that, they didn't take Visa. Fine time to leave one's checkbook at home, eh. Sunday morning brought both Jerry and Darrel Hinkle together with Brian Ardry of Lake Preston, South Dakota. Brian, his wife and two children were visiting Brian's father, Damon Ardry, as well as taking in the "Christmas Tree's at the Capitol" exhibit. Brain informed Jerry and Darrel that the eternal flame by the Capital building was put out when they went. Jerry blamed it on his brother, Doug Hinkle has been bucking for the Fire Chief position and has really become overzealous about it here lately. On Sunday afternoon, The Hinkles went to dinner at Agnes Hahn's where Bonnie Nickleson masterfully prepared a feast in celebration of her son, Tracy Lennick becoming confirmed into the Methodist Church. After eating too much, Harold, Mary, and Jerry Hinkle heard someone mention putting up Christmas lights. It was at that time that they decided to come up missing. They went to a come and go meet and greet with Colin Zilverberg at the home of his parents, Shorty and Sue Zilverberg, where there was more eating going on. Colin was on leave from his duties in Iraq where he is stationed with the 147th at an undisclosed location. His future plans seemed up in the air. His tour of duty in Iraq could be over in March or April, but Colin seems to thing he could go into Iran and take care of business. While all of us here at the Holabird Advocate applaud his enthusiasm, we believe he's done enough and should let someone else have a go at it awhile. Just 10 minutes with Colin will tell one who he voted for in the Presidential election, even if he never says. As it was reported this was a come and go event. The Hinkles came easy, but they didn't go for almost 2 hours. Eventually they made their way back home to the Ponderosa. Our Publisher wishes to thank his aunt, Joyce Ferris who helped out with his Grandfather, E.E. Hinkle, thereby making it possible to do all of that running around. Anyone who wants to help out during Christmas is welcome to do so. Nemec Christmas Party Announced
The Life and Times of Darcy J. Bushby The funeral for Darcy J. Bushby of Hecla, S.D., was held on Wednesday, Dec. 8, 2004, at 2:30 p.m. at the United Methodist Church in Hecla with Rev. Ryan Mutzenberger officiated.
Thursday, December 09, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12E Big Week for Ana Nemec Ana Nemec of Holabird has been pretty newsworthy lately. She has recently been named to the South Dakota Farmers Union Junior Advisory Council. She is one of six such JAC members, but the only one from Holabird, so the rest don't count. These members will coordinate and plan the 2005 SDFU State Camp. That were selected by their peers to serve in this capacity. If that wasn't enough, Ana also was selected as Second Runner-up and Miss Congeniality in Highmore's Snow Queen pageant. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish to congratulate Ana on being so talented. She would have won if the contest had been in Holabird, but what can you do? Party for Shelby Hinkle's Birthday Saturday Shelby Hinkle turned 4 on Tuesday, but her party is on Saturday afternoon. It hasn't been reported where or at what time on Saturday, but then maybe that's all on a need-to-know basis and when we need to know someone will tell us. Corrections and Apologies PUC Commissioner-elect Dustin "Dusty" Johnson has G-mailed our courageous dynamic Publisher to thank him for paying attention to the PUC race. He also wanted to clarify that he did appear on screen in one of his two campaign commercials. The Mike Rounds ad that we saw, he claims, only ran during the last ten days of the race. This is only one that we saw. The other one that he talks about is one that nobody connected with the Holabird Advocate, including Readers, had evidently seen. After investigating this matter, and coming up empty, we have decided to give the rightfully elected Commissioner the benefit of the doubt and believe that he is being honest (a lot to expect from a politician, but we'll risk it). We also wish to extend our apologies to Commissioner-elect Johnson, His wife Jacquelyn, and each and every one of their children, born and unborn. We also thank him for wanting to set the record straight himself, and we promise to do better by him in the future.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12D E.E. Hinkle Doubles Pulse Early on Tuesday evening, E.E. Hinkle had a pacemaker installed on his heart. Harold Hinkle reports that in order to do this operation they had to stop his heartbeat. We at the Holabird Advocate question that report, knowing Harold's tendency to mislead for effect. If it is true, we'd rather not know that information. What we do know for sure is that he was scheduled to go under the knife at 5:30 pm, but did not get going until 7 pm. The procedure took about a hour and a half. Before the surgery, his pulse was 31. After it was finished, his pulse jumped to 71. He was a little groggy when waking up, but he has been groggy for quite a few months now. In true Hinkle style, E.E. talked almost nonstop and was more concerned that Harold and Mary Hinkle not drive home that late, but rather stay with Ken and Joyce Ferris. Showing more sense that usual, they did as requested as there was a fair amount of fog in the air that night. E.E. Also felt it necessary to tell his nurse about his courting days. They all said he was a pistol. Does this make Harold a son of a gun? After jumping through all the hoops, signing on all the dotted lines, and getting final instructions, Harold, Mary and E.E. motored home with Joyce Ferris along with them. It is expected that she will stay with her father until his follow up appointment on December 14. Some may have wondered if this whole episode was necessary. Some may also wonder why it went along so swimmingly. Rev. Jerry Hinkle believes he has the answer. "I sowed a few seeds" He stated matter of factually. "I got prayer chains going in at least three different churches, and from there on it seems like there was and entire community of faith behind us. Of course God heard those prayers and he answered them in a way that will bring blessing on all who joined in. I even prayed myself. I prayed the entire 91st Psalm. I want all you Readers to know that Psalm 91 should be required reading for every Christian, and twice in times of trouble. Try it sometime. It'll work. My Grandad is living proof that it'll work." North of 40 by Red Green Have you tried to find a good radio station lately, one that plays good driving music? There aren't any. It's all yakkity yak?with news, or talk shows or rap music. You start to wonder, where did our music go? What happened to the great music that defined our generation? Well, I'll tell you where it went. And it's good news, for a change. Our music is in the clearance bin down at the hardware store. You can pick up five...Maybe six tapes for the cost of one of them CD things. And it's our music. With words you can hear and understand. Words that tell a story without a video. And the women sing songs about men. And the men sing songs about women. And surfing. And hot rods. I know it's depressing to see the music of your life stacked beside the special discount shampoo and the two-for-one light bulb sale, but that's okay, because it's finally at a price you can afford.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12C The Pacemaker Cometh Slowly Well as soon as the doctor hear that E.E. Hinkle, and his children wanted the 102 year old man to have a pacemaker put in the dollar signs danced round in his head. The surgery was scheduled for 5:30 pm, but was postponed at least until at least 7 pm. There as been no word since then. Everyone here at the Holabird Advocate is eagerly awaiting the results of this operation. People from at least three different area churches are praying for the old boy, and such are welcomed an encouraged. It has been reported that this procedure can take as long as 2 hours on and outpatient basis. That report has been taken with a grain of salt by us, and we are advising Holabird Advocate Readers to do the same. It has been noted that this is the 10th anniversary of the death of Bergit Hinkle, E.E.'s wife of 63 years. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that Doc Paul has better luck with this patient than he did with her. Birthday Surprise for Shelby Hinkle Today, Shelby Hinkle turns 4 years old. When asked what she wants for her birthday, she said, "It's a surprise. You'll have to wait and see." Nobody understands what she meant by that for sure, but our Publisher has speculated that she wants a Surprise Cake, like in the Little Rascals movie. If that is so, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish Shelby lots of luck. We also wish her a happy fourth birthday as well! South Dakota Songbook (Because this evening the 1st Day of Chanukah we have decided to bring to all of our Jewish Readers the following. Part 2 will be published on the 8th Day. There is a part three, but we have been unable to locate it. Hopefully it, or another part of this song will mention a certain intern named Monica-who celebrates Chanukah) "The Channukah Song Part 1" by Adam Sandler This is a song, that uh, Theres a lot of Christmas songs out there, But not too many about Chanukah, So I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear any Chanukah songs, Here we go... Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate Chanukah, Chanukah is the Festival of Lights, Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights. When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree, here's a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me: David Lee Roth lights the menorrah, So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah Guess who eats together at the Karnickey Deli, Bowzer from Sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli. Paul Newman's half Jewish; Goldie Hawn's half too, Put them together, what a fine lookin Jew! You don't need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock Cause you can spin a dreidle with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, both Jewish! Put on your yarmulke, its time for Chanukah, The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs celebrates Chanukah. O.J. Simpson, not a Jew! But guess who is...Hall of Famer, Rod Carew, (he converted!) We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby, Harrison Ford' a quarter Jewish, not too shabby! Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is, Well, he's not, but guess who is: All three stooges. So many Jews are in show biz, Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is. Tell your friend Veronica, its time you celebrate Chanukah I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Chanukah. So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your marijuan-ikah, If you really, really wanna-kah, Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah Monday, December 06, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12B Hinkle Family to talk "Pacemaker" The idea of putting a pacemaker in the heart of 102 year old E.E. Hinkle has been floating around for some time. Because the old boys pulse hovers around 35, some have been slightly concerned. The fact that E.E. sleeps more often than he is awake is also a concern. Tomorrow morning, Harold And Mary Hinkle will be taking the oldest living Hinkle to a doctors appointment, which is scheduled for 11 am. Joyce Ferris will join them as the issue is discussed. The Holabird Church of Universal Life has put E.E. Hinkle, his family, and his doctors on their prayer list so that the right decision is made. Food Review by Jerry Hinkle of the Holabird Advocate Last Thursday, I went to Aberdeen's Steak and Buffet Restaurant. My father delights in telling all who will listen about the experience. Unfortunately each time he tells the story I end up eating more food. As part of this review, I will account for every bit of food taken. Nothing will be left out, and nothing will be added. The meal will be divided into 4 courses. First course: mashed potatoes (excellent), pork chops (slightly dry, but edible when eaten in small bites), boneless chicken (very good, but slightly hot, yet not hot enough to sue over), bread roll (not too dry, just right in fact). Second course: hambuger steak (no flavor, slightly greasy, too big for children or senior citizens), medium rare sirloin steak (tender, good marbling, slightly above average flavor). Third course: Chocolate cake ( kinda dry), Cheesecake (very good), twist ice cream sundae with hot fudge, crushed Oreos, and candy sprinkles (something was wrong, had to go back for seconds to see what it was for sure). Final course: seconds on mashed potatoes, boneless chicken, and chocolate ice cream ( they ran out of vanilla ice cream. I couldn't taste any chocolate flavor, slightly icy) Steak and Buffet charges $6 including tax. I arrived with my father, Harold Hinkle, and my brother, Darrel Hinkle at around 11:30 am Holabird Time, and left at about 12:20 pm Holabird Time, give or take a few minutes. The atmosphere was friendly, not very loud. The place was crowded because of the noon rush. I bumped into 2 or 3 other people at different times during the times I was making my way to the serving stations. The table and booths were spaced far enough apart that nobody had collisions in the eating area. On the whole it was a pleasant dining experience. I ate a little bit of everything that was served. I found the plates to be small, but adjusted to the plate size after the First course. As for this restaurant, I give Steak and Buffet a "Love it", just slightly below "Can't get enough". South Dakota Songbook "Walking Around In Women's Underwear" (Dedicated to our Publisher's Uncle, Larry Nickleson for reasons best kept to ourselves) Lacey things, the wife is missing didn't ask for her permission I'm wearing her clothes Her silk panty hose. Walking round in women's underwear:::: In the store there's a teddy With little straps like spaghetti It holds me so tight Like handcuffs at night Walking round in women's underwear:::: In the office there's a guy named Melvin He pretends that I am Murphy Brown He'll say are you ready well say wow man lets wait till the wife is out of town:::: later on if you wanna we can dress like Madonna put on some eye shade and join the parade walking round in women's underwear! Wednesday, December 01, 2004 VOL. III Issue 12A American Voter Named 2004 "Person of the Year" It has become customary for the Holabird Advocate to name a Person of the Year on the first edition of the last issue of every year. Time Magazine has for the previous two years chosen a nameless, faceless group and selected individuals from that group. In 2002, the chose "The Whistle blower" (HOW LAME). Last year it was "the Soldier" (much better). This year we chose as Holabird Advocate Person of the Year for 2004, The American Voter. Think about it. When 2004 started out, the media declared Dr. Howard Dean the Presidential front-runner. But when the actual voters did the actual voting, he was the #3 man. The voter didn't stop there. John "Ketchup" Kerry talked Democratic voters into nominating him for President because of his electability. The media got on the Kerry bandwagon. Polls showed Kerry ahead. Everyone in the media said he won the debates, based on so-called undecided voters who were surveyed. On Election Day, exit polls showed Kerry ahead in some key states. Once again when the actual voters did the actual voting W was re-elected. In the pollsters defense, the re-election was within the margin of error. Those that didn't vote have only themselves to blame. There was much more media attention paid to this election than any other. Voter registration drives in both parties were going strong. That P.Diddy guy was saying "Vote or Die" . All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish to tell Mr. Diddy that we voted, so please don't kill us. To those of you who voted in your election, congratulations, you are the 2004 Person of the Year. Deserving of honorable mention are two voters in Election 2004. Those being Ken Ferris and Mary Jo Nemec. If any of you Readers know either or both of these two, you know that they voted. And even though we have a secret ballot in this country, you know who they voted for. Our Publisher hears from both of these folks on a regular basis. Ken when the Newsblog goes too far Democratic, and Mary Jo when it is too far Republican. They have provided the ballast for this year, and they probably will in 2006 and every other election year to come. We couldn't do it without them. We wouldn't want to either. North of 40 by Red Green Every boy who wishes to become a man sometime should become aware of the seven stages of parking, so here they are; Stage One: You're a kid. All you have to park is your butt. Stage Two: You're a teenager and you park with a girl who has a good chance of being your future wife. Stage Three: You're married with kids and are parking a mini-van at McDonald'S. Stage Four: The kids are grown and working at McDonald's, you've got a sports car and are caught parking with a girl who has no chance of being your future wife. Stage Five: You're parking in the garage for a while, where you're also living. Stage Six: You're old, no car, no license, no parking spot. Stage Seven:You're parked. Permanently. In your own space. Even has your name over it. Remember, I'm Pulin' for ya. We're all in this together. South Dakota Songbook "I Lost on Jeopardy" by "Weird Al" Yankovic (dedicated to Ken Jennings from all of us here at the Holabird Advocate who have never been a Jeopardy contestant. Great job, Champ) Oh-oh-oh-oh I was there to match my intellect on national TV Against a plumber, oh, and an architect, both with a PhD. I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just wasn't my night Art Fleming gave the answers Oh, but I couldn't get the questions right, -ight, -ight I lost on Jeopardy, Baby (oooh) I lost on Jeopardy, Baby (oooh) Well, I knew I was in trouble now My hope of winning sank Oh, 'cause I got the daily double now And then my mind went blank I took Potpourri for one hundred And then my head started to spin Well, I'm givin' up! Don Pardo Just tell me now what I didn't win, yeah, yeah I lost on Jeopardy, Baby (oooh) I lost on Jeopardy, Baby (oooh) (Don Pardo {Spoken}: That's right, Al--you lost. And let me tell you what you didn't win; a twenty colume set of the Encyclopedia International, a case of Turtle Wax, and a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat. But that's not all. You also made yourself look like a jerk in front of millions of people. You brought shame and disgrace to your family name for generations to come. You don't get to come back tomorrow. You don't even get a lousy copy of our home game. you're a complete loser!) Don't know what I was thinkin' of I guess I just wasn't too bright Well, I sure hope I do better Next weekend on The Price Is Right, -ight, -ight I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh) I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh) I lost on Jeopardy, baby
|
 |