VOL. III Issue 12J
Cam Cowan Taken to Hospital
Holabird's own Cam Cowan is now in the hospital in Pierre. Her situation has been rumored to be critical. Reports say her lungs are filling with fluid, Hopefully, she will improve in time to be home for Christmas. Cam has been fighting cancer since about the age of 19, and bravely so. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate believe she will win this war, with God's help.
Ponderosa Gets First Blast of Winter
Snow is falling on the Ponderosa Valley, giving a hint of the Winter season. Lately it has been too cold to snow. In fact it was -4 this morning. No clue about the wind chill, but Jerry Hinkle reports that it was so cold while he was outside feeding cows that he paused by some freshly made cow manure to warm himself. Cow pies start out at around 104 degrees (the average body temperature of a cow), but cool off rather quickly in sub-zero weather.
The snow is a welcome sight, but it is not expected to accumulate to any significant amount according to Holabird Advocate meteorologist, Storm Chaser. In fact we could be in for some double digit below 0 temps, not including wind chill. He expects it to warm up to the 40s above 0 for Christmas Day, though.

Harold Hinkle had enough faith in the new smoke alarm he bought to hang it on the ceiling. Tonight, as he prepared a rib steak in the kitchen, he got a little flame action going. The smoke alarm did, as we here at the Holabird Advocate predicted, let him know that the steak was indeed done. Well done in fact.
South Dakota Songbook
"The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen"
(Tune: "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen")
The restroom door said "Gentleman"
And so I walked inside,
I took two steps and realized
I'd been taken for a ride,
I heard high voices, turned
and found the place was occupied,
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse,
What could be worse
Than two old nuns, three old ladies and a nurse...
The restroom door said "gentlemen"
It must have been a gag,
As soon as I walked in there
I ran into some old hag,
She sprayed me with a can of mace
And hit me with her bag,
I could tell this just wouldn't be my day,
What can I say?
This just wasn't turning out to be my day...
The restroom door said "gentlemen"
And I would like to find,
That crummy little creep
Who had the nerve to switch the sign,
'Cause I have two black eyes
And one big bruise on my behind,
So I can't sit with comfort and joy
Boy, oh boy,
No, I'll never sit with comfort and joy.

Christmas is a time for reflection. A time to sit back and remember all of the things you've done. The new experiences, accomplishments, and so forth. You may find that you've done diddly squat this year. In that case sit down and watch a lot of Christmas specials on TV. That way you can rest in the warm glow of knowing that Frosty the Snowman, Charlie Brown, and the Grinch Who Stole Christmas didn't do anything new either. And remember, I'm Pullin' for ya. We're all in this together.