 |
 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Saturday, July 30, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7S SDBWM Making Comeback? Nothing official yet, but rumors are spreading faster than Anthrax that SDBWM is negotiating with a major blog to be a contributor. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate know that we can not afford him, but we can offer him stock options of up to 50% of the total. We can even offer him a new identity if that is his concern. Not to get into a bidding war or anything like that. Professor Gives Passing Grade For SDBWM Ten Questions All of us at the Holabird Advocate didn't know if our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle was going to be expelled or put on the Dean's list after Professor Powers learned that Jerry borrowed his 10 questions idea from him earlier this week. He took it pretty well, however. He even had to admit that Jerry did an OK job. The Professor has a big 10 questions interview coming up. Nobody will want to miss that. We just wonder what he'll think of the ad that we ran in our little Newsblog last night. Of course, should the Professor find an idea, or anything else here worth using, he is more than welcome to do so. One thing that is getting noticed is the nice little directory he has set up of all of the major (and a few minor) South Dakota Blogs. Much work has gone into it, and he should be proud of it. Look out Ben Hanten. Make no mistake, about it, the Professor is still the BMOC Publisher's Notesby Jerry Hinkle Well, I said that July would be big, but I had no idea it would be this big. The ending of South Dakota Blog Watch was something few of us in the South Dakota blogging Community would have believed, and yet it happened. We got surprisingly little G-mail concerning our 10 questions segment with SDBWM, but I impressed the Professor somewhat. We also got 51 hits that day. A personal best for us. Maybe it was SDBWM, maybe it was the pictures we used in the top story. Either way, we did OK. We made a total of 32 cents on our "Watcher Challenge", but I have a feeling that the Big Guy will click on the ads once in a while for old time's sake. Gonna be a while before we get that first $100 check, but anything good is worth waiting for. Of course, legally speaking, I can't ask or tell anyone to click the ads, I must say I have been tempted to click on the "Hot Iraqi Women" ad a few times myself. Curiosity can be expensive. Emorymas was quite festive, as always. So was July 4th, for me anyway. For three weeks I wondered if, in fact, God himself had told Grandad that he wasn't going to live to see his birthday. Turns out there was a little mistaken identity there. He made it to 103. Just 2 years from breaking the record. As long as he can do and think for himself, there's really no reason to worry. We'll just see what goes between now and 2007. There's nothing saying that I'll be here then either. We all just trust in The Heavenly Father. One interesting development was that we got 2 "Terrible" ratings on our rating poll. We have several ratings higher than that, so we haven't "Jumped the Shark" yet. Ours may not be the biggest blog in the Dakotas. It may not even be the best. I like it, and you do. I know that because the Circulation Department claims that 1 in 3 of you are repeat Readers. It's cool when I impress people like Bernie Hunhoff, Ben Hanten, SDBWM. And even Dave Dedrick himself has liked my work. What I like best is when my family, friends, and neighbors tell me how much they like what I do here. They're the people I have live with, around, and for. Very few complains so far. This stuff is not for everybody. Next months poll is sponsored by People Ingesting Tasty Animals. PITA is protesting the selection of the "Sexyest Vegetarian" award with the "Tastyest Animal" award. They got the Idea from Los Angeles PITA member Jimmy Kimmel. Good thinking, Jimmy! That's all for July. What a long and interesting month it has been. Here is to August being even bigger and better. See Ya'll next month! Friday, July 29, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7R Anthrax Makes Comeback Anthrax is suspected of killing some 200 head of livestock in South Dakota. The South Dakota State Agriculture Department says anthrax has been confirmed in six herds and is suspected in four others. Anthrax is caused by a bacteria that forms spores in the soil. Things like drought, floods or wind can expose the spores. Livestock ingest the spores while grazing, get sick and die. Livestock can be vaccinated against the disease. This is not necessarily the same kind of anthrax that's associated with terrorism threats. There has been suspected cases of Anthrax in livestock from Sully County, but none have been reported so far in Hyde County. All you Readers who ranch better make sure your shots are up to date, or pray this doesn't happen to you. Then you'd better spread the word before the disease spreads first. Friday Night is Looking Brighter All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are excited about Friday night on CBS. A new show (new to us anyway) called "Veronica Mars" will have two episodes running on Keloland starting at 7 pm tonight. Seems to be a detective show that takes place in a town called Neptune (wonder if they have a Jupiter Drive-in). Anyway Kristen Bell plays the title role She sure is cute, and since she was born on July 18 is exactly 13 years younger than our Publisher (unlucky for some). Jennifer Love Hewitt is coming to Friday night on CBS this fall. She talks to dead people, or so we are lead to believe, in "The Ghost Whisperer". She is cute as well. The show doesn't look all that great, but we didn't think "Joan of Arcadia" would last a season (and it lasted two seasons). After viewing 4 episodes of each of these shows, we will have a report on whether or not we like them. We do wish that either one, the other or both could talk to God. Commercial Parody by Amanda Reconwith HEY KIDS!! Getting more education , but enjoying it less. Well then, enroll in South Dakota War College. Sure you can go to a state accredited school and get a degree, but will ya learn anything (I don't think so!). A degree is just a piece of paper, but education is food for the mind. Let Professor P give you a real lesson or two in life. It'll be an experience you'll never forget and always treasure. You never know who you'll meet in the virtual Halls of Learning. And there's a complete library of blogs to aid you in the learning process. Remember, it's OK to start out stupid, but to end up that way is a shame! So don't delay, do it today. Tuition is free will, but not free, have your credit card handy for the Pay Pal. That's South Dakota War College at dakotawarcollege.blogspot.com/ Reality Bytes by Buster Brock Holabird Advocate Managing Editor We don't need to see "Big Brother 6" to know that it sucks. The previews do the job for us. One of the Prisoners in the Big Brother House was heard to be yelling "I live in a house full of stupid people". We'll just have to take her word for it. ABC has "Hooking up" A show that I had every intention of ignoring. But SD Blog Watch had a post about one of the people in the show, Amy, from South Dakota. She's 28, a Real Estate Agent in NYC and lookin' for love (spelled h-u-s-b-a-n-d). She's gone through three fellas in three episodes. Her latest beau, a doctor, may be around for a spell. Her record was the first guy, a professional poker player, who lasted for an episode and a half. Her second guy is a corporate type, who left for Central America on business (or so he says). He may come back. It is a little disturbing that, given last years election touting of "South Dakota Values" that there is someone on national TV claiming South Dakota as home, and then going to bed with a guy after the 4th date and expecting a metal or something. Still you can't help but like her. The other "players" in this show (calling it like I see it) are not always as compelling. The 2nd grade teacher and the entrepreneur are a couple I do like, and I hope they last. The rest of these 11 couples are just not that interesting. Not to me anyway. Only 3 episodes watched so far, but I will keep watching. I will not, however, wait for a commercial break if I have to go to the can. Thursday, July 28, 2005 Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Holabird Advocate Pick up Interesting Readers The Holabird Advocate Circulation Department reports that yesterday's traffic incited hits from both the USD School of Law and The House of Representatives. Jerry Hinkle, the courageous, dynamic Publisher of our little Newsblog is very excited. "I can feel it in the Air!", he declared. "We're all gonna be famous, I just know it!" Firemen Back in Town The three firemen from Pierre's Fire Engine Company #1, who assisted at the forest fire in the Hill City area are back home. That is including Second Assistant Chief Douglas A. Hinkle, who was only there for 24 hours. He will be back at Wegner Auto tomorrow, bright and early. All you Chrysler drivers can sleep easy now. South Dakota Songbook (This is SDBW Man's favorite Johnny Cash song. SDBW man provided the lyrics herein contained) "Delia's Gone." Delia, oh, Delia Delia all my life If I hadn't have shot poor Delia I'd have had her for my wife Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone I went up to Memphis And I met Delia there Found her in her parlor And I tied to her chair Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone She was low down and trifling And she was cold and mean Kind of evil make me want to Grab my sub machine Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone First time I shot her I shot her in the side Hard to watch her suffer But with the second shot she died Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone But jailer, oh, jailer Jailer, I can't sleep 'Cause all around my bedside I hear the patter of Delia's feet Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone So if you woman's devilish You can let her run Or you can bring her down and do her Like Delia got done Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone  VOL. IV Issue 7Q
Stephanie Herseth 10 Questions With The Watcher As it says in the Good Book, "Ask and you will receive". SDBWN as most of the South Dakota blogging community calls him has graciously consented to allow us to ask, and you the Holabird Advocate readers to see, 10 questions of him, and 10 answers. Kudos to the Proffessor from SD War College, who originated this format. We'll see if our Publisher learned anything from your lectures. Also thanks to the Watcher for this opportunity. Our cups overflows once again. 1. We don't know who you are. Did your wife ever know you were SDBW Man? Nobody knew. I tried to tell my wife on several occasions, but she has learned to tune me out. 2. You left us once before this year, and then you came back. Any chance of another comeback, either this year or next? Not with my own blog. I may make guest appearances on other blogs in the state, but it's not fair to my legion of fans to pop in and out of the blogosphere. I worked very hard to conceal my identity, and despite what anyone might think, the only reason was that my family is very-well known in the state and I never wanted anyone to find them guilty by association. I don't want to leave a trail of electric crumbs that might lead back to me, or my family, so I think it's safe to say that you won't see South Dakota Blog Watch return. Unless Sibby gets REALLY stupid, and then, who knows. 3. For the Readers' benefit, would you please tell us what it is about the Holabird Advocate that got your attention ? Bernie Hunhoff first pointed me toward the Holabird Advocate, via his S.D.Magazine blog and I was enchanted by the breadth of subject matter, by the people it introduced me to, and by the non-vitrolic style of writing. But I also like it because I think it's an excellent model for small towns across the state to give people a sort of electronic gathering place to share information. I'm a big fan of small town newspapers, and the Holabird Advocate has all the qualities of the best small town papers. 4. You and your (gulp) lovely wife will come to Bob's Thunderbird in Highmore for prime rib when I get my first $100 from Google, won't you? We might come by even if you don't hit $100. We'll be in Mitchell, Pierre and Phillip in the next few days and so, who knows? We might just drop by. 5. Do you see Stephanie Herseth becoming a Governor or a Senator in the future? You mean if her cheerleading career doesn't work out? I would be less surprised to see her run against John Thune next time around for his Senate seat, but I wouldn't expect her to run for governor. She has positioned herself as a moderate Democrat with her votes recently and she would contrast nicely with Thune. 6. How does it feel to have a big shot like Robert Novak asking about you? Ah, but those days are over. I was but a bright shining star streaking across the S.D. blogosphere, but now those days are but fond memories. I think it's a bigger thrill to have the Holabird Advocate ask you to answer ten questions. I wanted the Professor to ask me ten questions, but the only question he was interested in was, "Who are you?" 7. Todd Epp seems to be the "Go to Guy" about blogging in South Dakota for the MSM. Is there someone else that you think should be? Nah, Todd enjoys the role and he does a good job being the godfather of blogs in the state. His website, I think, is the most improved among al those that existed when I first began blogging. Watch out for the South Dakota War College. It's the most innovative blog in the state, right now, and P.P. is a good writer and a clear thinker. I think there's always a danger when a blog tries to do too much --- and that's a possibility with SDWC; I think it was its best when it stayed tightly focused on the machination of politics -- but I predict that it will be the most visited Republican blog in the state by this time next year. 8. Now that you have stopped blogging, which blog should We look to for inspiration? www.hamsterdance.com No wait, that's not a blog. Uh, tough question. So many of the blogs have so much to offer. And a few have nothing to offer. If Gutzon Borglum ever gets back from his vacation, I might say that one. 9. Have you ever noticed that Keloland's Jodi Schwan looks like Linda the receptionist from the TV show "Becker"? No. But I have noticed that Angela Kennecke looks a bit like Hillary Clinton on a bad day. 10. What's your favorite Johnny Cash song? How did you know I was a huge Johnny Cash fan? Amazing research department you have there. Next to Willie Nelson, J.C. is my favorite country artist. I like his old stuff, but also think some of his later albums were brilliant, particularly American Recordings. My favorite song is "Delia's Gone." Wednesday, July 27, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7P The Watcher is Dead! Long live the Watcher! The SD Blog Watch website was deleted sometime this afternoon. So that's it, no more Watcher. Not right away, anyway. He'll be back, though. He left and came back once before. If, we mean when, he reads this, our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, has 10 questions for you. Since the Professor is going to be gone for a while, Jerry thought he'd get the jump on him. None of these questions are concerning your name, age, occupation, or income. That can wait until vacation time is over. Enjoy what you have left of it. When you are ready, just drop us a G-mail. He'll send questions, you can answer only what you wish to, or simply say "Stick it". Remember you owe us nothing. It is us that owe you, and we owe you everything. Meanwhile, the search for inspiration goes on. We checked out Sibby Online. Mr. Sibson comes across as mean at times. Still, you can't count out someone who supports the Second Amendment. You gotta respect that. There is good in all of us. As things are, we're leaning towards SD War College right now, but more about that later. So long Watcher! May God be with you as you find your way. Like a bridge over troubled water, He will ease your mind. Holabird Advocate Plays Catch-up A lot of very important things have happened in the world since we have been in mourning for the Watcher. We should get to them, one at a time. First, Space Shuttle Discovery took America back into space. It was Discovery that returned us to space after the Challenger blew up. With Columbia, perhaps it will be the Flagship. It's been said that the Late James Doohan's ashes are to be launched into space someday. All of us at the Holabird Advocate hope that the Space Shuttle Enterprise gets that assignment. Do you suppose the Smithsonian will let it go, though? Keloland seems excited that Senate Majority Bill Frist sent letters to 2 members of the BRAC board endorsing EAFB. They seem to think Senator John Thune arranged it, but that hasn't been proven. One things for sure, Dashcle couldn't have convinced Senator Frist to write those same letters. Thune should probably still look for W's ear in any case. And another BSE (Mad Cow Disease) case has been announced. The location has not been made public, but we can confirm that the Ponderosa has no Mad Cows. Even the bulls are happy right now. Must be that bone meal free mineral they lick on. It could be something else, but there may be ladies present, so we need not discuss that. All the Latest from The Ditty Bops On Tuesday Afternoon, National Public Radio's World Cafe aired a show featuring The Ditty Bops. If anyone is interested we have a link to the show provided here buy our good friend Oddjob. Hardcore fans will note that only one of the songs on the show is from their album. But cheer up, they may have another album in the can next spring. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, was surprised to hear that Ms. Amanda's grandmother, Flo, is a Vegan-Jewish chabbat cook. Will he convert? That could be a clash of the Titans. SD War College: The Keloland of Blogsby Jerry Hinkle, Publisher: Holabird Advocate It was Dave Dedrick who first declared, "First with the best in the upper Midwest" for Keloland TV over 52 years ago. As far as blogs go, it looks like Dakota War College is head and tail above the rest. All the time, there is some new improvement. The rest of the pack best be careful, The Professor may be the last one standing. In fact, if I'm not careful, I may end up working for him, if I'm lucky and he's desperate. That may not be for a while yet. I hope! Tuesday, July 26, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7O Say it Isn't So Watcher!!!!!! Once again, it appears that SD Blog Watch is going out of business. It seems that Professor Powers of SD War College figured out the true identity of SDBWM, known to all of us here at the Holabird Advocate as the Watcher. Even though The Professor promised to reveal his true name, he is closing down shop, and this time, it may be for good. The Watcher to us was a true hero. That he should be killed not with Kryptonite, not with a silver bullet, but by the "Power of Cheese" just makes it all the more sad. Yet, he will be with us in spirit. Whenever Dan Nelson is cheating a guy on a used car, he'll be there. Whenever people gather at the Crow Bar to drink their problems away, he'll be there. Whenever someone clicks on a Google ad, he'll be there too. There is nothing that any of us here at the Holabird Advocate, or the South Dakota blogging community, can do to show him our proper respect. Not many of them will miss him, but we will. The Watcher always had something good to say about our little Newsblog. He called us the nicest, and most under appreciated web publication in Dakota. It's a lot to live up to. We try, but don't always succeed. Reverend Jerry Hinkle has offered to pay the required $1 donation to make the man behind The Watcher a full member of the Holabird Church of Universal Life. He'll even entertain the idea of installing Pay Pal in there. Also, if he is agreeable, they will change the name of the church to St. Watcher's Universal Life Church. The Watcher deemed this necessary not because of his own security, but because of his family. If you need any more proof that he was a superhero. There it is. So long Watcher. Keep in touch, and remember that whenever you get to Holabird, there's a prime rib with your name on it, whatever it is. Hinkle Takes Working Vacation While some folks out west, there is a rare breed of man doing the same, but in a different way. Second Assistant Chief Douglas A. Hinkle of Pierre's Fire Engine Company #1 took time off from his day job fixing Chryslers at Wegner Auto. He is one of three such volunteers from the Capital City to journey just a few miles away from Mount Rushmore in the Hill City area. While others may gather to see the Faces out there, Doug and his colleagues are fighting a forest fire. In an era where today's young people are being discouraged from serving their country by parents and teachers alike, It's nice to see volunteer fire fighters do their bit for America. A Modest Proposal by Jerry Hinkle Holabird Advocate Publisher With "The Red Green Show" ending later this year, I thought it's too bad that someone can't pick up where the gang from Possum Lodge left off. I heard that there's a place in Pierre called "The Possum Lodge". You know, Dakota War College may be the perfect partner for a joint venture. All the South Dakota bloggers could get together at the "Lodge" and the Professor could video blog 20 episodes a year. That's all the Canadians filmed on the average anyway. Think about it. The show could be a funny version of The Caribou Show. I've never seen this show, but they must be that Caribou Lodge that Red Green always complains about. Public TV may even help us, if we get Todd Epp on board. So now there's the all important casting. Here are my first choices: Red Green- The Professor (maybe the Skipper too) Bernice Green- Michele Van Maanen (if we can find her) Harold Green-Todd Epp (only someone that PC could play Harold) Old Man Sedgwick- E.E. Hinkle (is there a better person for that role? I don't think so) Old Man Sedgwick father- Gutzon Borglum (Just in case he really does come back to life) Dalton Humphrey- The Watcher ( He will operate the Humphey's everything web site, and will constantly remind everyone to click on their Shopping Cart) Anne Marie Humphrey- Mrs. Watcher ( Who in one episode actually recognized Buster Hatfield's pajamas) Buster Hatfield- Jerry Hinkle (cold shower facilities next to the set may be called for) Stinky Peterson- The Sioux Falls John Morrell plant (not a speaking part, but then the "Stinkman" was quiet on the old show too!) Mike Hamar- Bill Janklow (obvious reasons) Winston Rothchild III- Doug Hinkle ( he has operated hoses before) Hap Shaunesy- Steve Sibson ( I don't know the man personally, but you know how people in a small blogging community talk) Kevin Black- Bernie Hunhoff (You know I had to give him a part) Eddie the Medical Marijuana Guy-Buzz Sherwood (another obvious choice) If I missed anybody, I'll fill them in later, Or perhaps you will Monday, July 25, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7N "Signs" Posted up to Date One project of Jerry Hinkle's that has been kinda on the back burner was the autobiography of his grandfather, E.E. Hinkle. The easy part is over now. All of his notes are online. Holabird Advocate Readers can find them on the Web Journal link at the bottom of our Front Page. This means that, while E.E. has told Jerry everything that Jerry knows, he has yet to tell him everything that E.E. knows. He'd better learn it quick. No Photos Yet! Remember when computers were going to make life easier buy doing things quicker? Has that happened yet? Not here at the Holabird Advocate. We are still waiting for those Emorymas photos to get developed. Our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, isn't complaining too loudly, though. He could learn to do this developing work himself. He sure caught on as to how he can make copies of BOJ's cheesy (and obviously fake) pictures of Representative Stephanie Herseth. He caught on to that awful quick as well. It is unknown how long it will take, but Jerry promises to have, with any luck at least one picture of E.E. Hinkle on the Front Page of the Holabird Advocate by next Emorymas. More Support For Jerry Hinkle Program The G-mail is running 3 to 1 in favor of The Jerry Hinkle Program. Most of the support from folks who remember the show from the radio days. They say 6 minutes once in a while was better than 6 hours a week every weekend for two years. It's the quality, not the quantity that we are going for. No word has been heard from Dawn Blain since she suggested the topic of the show. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate hope that she liked the show too. Especially how Jerry slipped in that fishing question after reading the birthday card that Dawn sent to her great grandfather. Good thing the fishing trip was talked about at breakfast time too. Saturday, July 23, 2005 Extra Extra Read All About It Audblog Catches on Quick The Professor at Dakota War College has really made a big contribution to the world of audio blogging. After catching his latest work, Our Publisher had to admit that he is impressed. Todd Epp is getting in the game too. The Professor has also discovered that it helps to script yourself as well. That is hard to do when interviewing a 103 year old man, but good advice just the same. His lecture was quite good, he managed to say quite a lot without naming names. More Photo Trouble For Holabird Advocate Mary Hinkle is having trouble getting her Emorymas photos developed. She will work on the problem tomorrow. Since we don't publish on Sunday, the earliest we will get that out will most likely be Monday. All those who can may want to send a little prayer this way. VOL. IV Issue 7M Jerry Hinkle Program Debut a Hit Well, the reviews are in, and two out of three people like The Jerry Hinkle Program. Well, it's not for everybody! It's already spawned a few imitators. The Professor from Dakota War College did an 8 second test pattern, and our good friend, The Watcher from SD Blogwatch played what sounded like either a 45 rpm record or possibly his own voice singing a nice little country tune (Look out Tim McGraw). Of course this was made possible from the good people at Audblog Listenlabs, a division of Google, the best internet company in the world. It's hoped that video blogging is not too far behind. There is also a thing called podcasting. We don't know what that is, but any and all South Dakota podcasters are welcome to enlighten all of us here at the Holabird Advocate. We can't imagine that it could be better than Audblog, but you never know. The Holabird Advocate Audblog experiments started in December of 2002. We were given a free minute to try it out, so we reported when the Bill Janklow verdict came in. Earlier this year, when Holabird Advocate Publisher Jerry Hinkle got a cellphone, Audblog plans followed. We did our first "Good Morning Holabird" at the Ponderosa Pines Old Age Assistance Home with a short interview of E.E. Hinkle on May 6 of this year. We also did remote blogcasts from Mitchell during Mothers Day weekend. We even did a "Saturday Night Live". This could be the start of something big. It will sure be interesting to see where this audio blogger thing leads. Ponderosa Quiets Down After Emorymas The day after Emorymas as brought a spirit of calm on the South Dakota Prairie. Some wondered if the newly 103 year old E.E. Hinkle would ever stay in bed. First he was up then he was down. Anna-Nicole Smiths last husband was only 89, and he couldn't get out of bed for the last year of his life (But then he didn't want to either. Would you, Bub?) The problem was a little too much iced tea. The Hinkle family won't make that mistake again. Still, it's nice to see the old boy move under his own power at such a ripe old age. We should all do as well no matter what age we reach. Photos are still being developed. Hopefully when all is said and done, we'll have something to show. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle can't run the scanner because it hates him. Too bad BOJ wasn't here. He found some nice photos of Representative Stephanie Herseth in a couple of cheerleading costumes. Had he been here, we may have had Representative Herseth sitting of E.E.'s lap or vice versa. Then Jerry's Christmas cards would set. Power Failure Heats Things Up It got up to a slightly warm 103.5 at the Ponderosa today. Air conditioners all over the Holabird area were running so hot that the electricity was off for a half hour. There were even reports that the windmills in the Highmore area stopped turning. At least it didn't get up to 113 like some had said. Friday, July 22, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7L Emorymas at Last: E.E. Turns 103 It was 103 years ago today, July 22, 1902, that E.E. Hinkle was born in Thurston County, Nebraska. From what he knows, it was hot back then as well. We expected that the mercury may to three digits today, but it was stopped at 95 degrees. Tomorrow is forecast a high of 113. Lets hope it's not that high. Joyce Ferris arrived yesterday, after getting her hair cut, and colored. A couple of George and Mavis Kennedy's friends from Aberdeen who winter in Green Valley came down Thursday to visit for the afternoon as well. Kelvin and Donna Kennedy left after dinner today. Eating has become a full contact sport, with all the chicken, and the colon pleaser gone already. Dinner was mostly leftovers from yesterday. The chocolate cake is going fast, and angel food going faster. There's also a pretty good supply of Ice Cream. Spaghetti was on hand for evening vittles, with 12 lbs of hamburger for grilling if we had need of it. Needless to say, The Hinkles will be eating on the leftovers for some time. Food isn't the only recreation, there is also a Power Point video that has been enjoyed today as well. E.E. Enjoyed it so much, he watched it twice. A few phone calls have been patched through to the Ponderosa Pines Old Age Assistance Home for the old boy. Some he even took. E.E. Also got a look at Ms. Amanda, but can't confirm that she's the red headed gal that he dreamed was going to steal Jerry away or not. George Kennedy says she is the ugliest woman he's ever seen. Of course, he lives with Mavis, so he's used to perfection. The Professor at Dakota war College may be interested to know that E.E. is a former Hyde County Commissioner, and just may be the oldest Democrat in the State of South Dakota. Holabird Advocate Special Photographer, Mary Hinkle said she will have the photos ready by sometime tomorrow. Don't hold your breath on that. Will The Watcher Take the Challenge? SD Blog Watch has been trying to get anyone who will to click on the Adsense ads and put money into the Watcher's pocket. He has claimed that as soon as he gets his first check from Google, he will buy a round of drinks at the Crow Bar. None of us here at the Holabird Advocate know what or where that is. However, if The Watcher can get his minions to click The Google ads on the Holabird Advocate's Front Page $100 worth, our Publisher will not only buy a round of drinks at Bob's Thunderbird in Highmore, but he will also buy the Watcher, and one guest, a prime rib dinner or suitable substitution thereof whereas hitherto forthwith. The reason Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle doesn't do this himself is because he agreed not to click his own ads or ask his friends to do it. Apparently, The Watcher made no such agreement with Google, so it's up to him. Jerry could try to circumvent the agreement, but he's too young and pretty to go to jail. Holabird Advocate legal analyst, Morley Krupt, believes this is perfectly legal, even though it may not work. Todd Epp may disagree with this opinion, but Jerry can't afford him anyhow. A Mission Possible by Jerry Hinkle Holabird Advocate Publisher My country, my family, and indeed I, Myself are truly blessed to live under the blessings of God. Only in this country could we celebrate birthdays with as much fun and silliness as we have this week. Only in America can we be so blessed that we can beg for money on the internet. Not every country is so blessed. Some people in other nations have been deprived of God's blessing, through their actions, or that of their government. Those are places we send missionaries. People like my cousin Kassidee, who go into someplace where the Christian population is as rare as a Democrat in South Dakota. Prostitution is not only legal in the Czech Republic, where she is going, but the government actually taxes the activity. She will need our prayers for the next year. I understand that the Geitzenauer family went to Mexico on a mission project. They are back now, and I hope they are able to share stories with me of what they did. I'm quite sure that whatever work they performed was blessed by the Father in Heaven. It's nice to know that there are folks in America that are not only willing, but able to share in the blessings that God has given them. It's a high calling, and they all deserve our respect and praise. They are a wonderful example of the possibilities that exist in this world.  Wednesday, July 20, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7K Pilgrims Gather for Emorymas The Ponderosa is starting to fill up with people who are gathering to celebrate the 103rd birthday of E.E. Hinkle. George and Mavis Kennedy arrived at 5 pm Tuesday afternoon Holabird Time. Kelvin and Donna Kennedy made it in with their fifth wheel trailer a few hours later at 9:30 pm, just ahead of a nice little thunder storm. The Hinkles report .55 of an inch of rain out of the deal, on top of all the thunder and lightning. Mavis got an early start on the vittles. She baked a cake Tuesday night, and she also got the fixings ready for her vegetable bar, also known as "colon pleaser", which she started building today. The fun has yet to start. Some of the older people around the Ponderosa have been amusing themselves by taking each others blood pressure. DVD Looks OK Donna Kennedy showed a rough draft the DVD that she and the girls have been working on at the Holabird Advocate home office. Part of what she had was left behind, so she will have Fed Ex deliver that to her so she can work on it some more. That which was presented was very nice and well worth the $25. Donna says she and husband Kelvin Kennedy can't stay long because they have a wedding to go to back home on Saturday. They will most likely leave on Friday. Scotty Beamed up to Heaven It is indeed with mixed emotions that we report the death of Mr. James "Jimmy" Doohan. He was 85. Mr. Doohan was best known to millions of Trekkers and Trekkies as "Scotty" on the hit show "Star Trek". He was called upon to utter some of the best lines on the show such as "I need more time, Cap'n" And "Ya canna change the laws of physics". Both seem so ironic at this moment in time. It was Doohan who made his character on the show Scottish. The chief engineer was originally slated to be German. Doohan has since turned his fake accent into his trademark, repeating it on TV and on Radio as "Scotty the engineer" on "Radio Kandy with John Candy" As a young man, Doohan stormed the beaches at Normandy. He lost one of his fingers on D-Day, which was one of his most closely guarded secrets. Later in life he developed Alzheimers Disease. Only something so cruel could stop such a great man. So a 21 phaser salute is in order on this sad occasion. Jimmy Doohan, ahead Warp Factor 10! ENGAGE! Top Ten Things That E.E. Hinkle Has Taken 100 Years to learn by Jerry Hinkle Holabird Advocate Publisher Some people learn the hard way. The School of Hard Knocks is what they call it. This kind of education is one that Grandad excels in. So for all you slow learners out there, here it is. I've printed this as large as possible so Grandad can read it. From the home office in Holabird South Dakota. The Top Ten Things That E.E. Hinkle Has Taken 100 Years to Learn. 1. When you maintain farm equipment, don't forget to grease your Pittman 2. My old bed sure is comfortable 3. You should never mouth off to your cook before meal time 4. Now that I'm old enough for Vernon to mess with, he's dead 5. I'm not has hungry as I used to be 6. Cookies for breakfast isn't so bad 7. If you live long enough, you can watch all your kids collect Social Security 8. Bison and Buffalo are the same darn animal, And don't try to tell me different 9. Some of my grandkids think that THEY are old (Can you believe that?) 10. When you hear like I do, it's harder for people to lie to me. Monday, July 18, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7J Publisher's Birthday Sets Mood for Emorymas The Hinkle family really outdid themselves celebrating the birthday of Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle. It started with Mary Hinkle bringing Kaitlin Pothast and Cade Hinkle over for the weekend. Kaitlin is usually a pain in the rear, but she helped Mary with cooking buy making hamburgers with a recipe she learned on The Food Channel. Everyone knows that not even Jerry can complain with his mouth full. Kaitlin and Brittany Hinkle made a cake for their favorite uncle as well. They thought they were throwing him a surprise party, but Jerry knew something was up when his mother called him and asked him to come over. Obviously when members of his family actually want him to visit, he figures something is up. Sunday after church, Jerry stopped in to see his grandmother, Agnes Hahn, and picked up a couple of envelops. When he opened them today, he saw that one contained The Ditty Bops debut CD that was a gift from his uncle Wilbur Goehring. It's a good thing that the house was air conditioned, Jerry was feeling warm all over. Jerry has also received many nice postcards and e-cards from well wishers as well. Ken and Jo Hansen sent a postcard of a young boy churning ice cream, and that made them think of him. Gene Roxie and, Sydney Goehring crowned him "King for a Day". Of course, tomorrow, he's back to being a commoner. Now that Jerry's birthday is all over, everyone is getting ready for Emorymas. Mavis Kennedy reports that the DVD that Donna Kennedy made is a "Power Point" so they will need a computer to play it instead of a DVD player. Anyone who knows what that means is welcome to advise the Hinkle's about it at anytime. Mavis and her husband, George Kennedy, are getting ready to make the long, hot trip to see E.E. Hinkle before he dies or turns 103, whichever comes first. The old boy has sure been eating like it's a party already. We'll just have to see what the rest of the week brings. Holabird Advocate to Present "The Jerry Hinkle Program" Since starting the Audblog by Listenlabs posts of the Holabird Advocate, our Publisher has been looking for something to call it. Here lately, he's been changing his mind more than he changes his underwear. He thought he'd struck gold with "Good Morning Holabird", but then he thought what if he decided to post in the afternoon of evening. He decided to call those posts, "The Jerry Hinkle Program", after his short lived radio show that he did back in the 90's that he hopes many folks in the area remember fondly. The only difference between then and now is that the program will be shorter, less often, and he'll be doing them for less money. Kirk Cameron Helps Share the Faith Successful actor Kirk Cameron has found a full-time vocation in equipping fellow Christians to share their faith effectively. For several years now he has worked along with evangelist Ray Comfort to develop a ministry known as The Way of the Master. Cameron and Comfort host a weekly television show that teaches believers how to witness to friends, family, or strangers using the Ten Commandments. Cameron's work with "The Way of the Master" ministries keeps him busy, but he has no regrets about how he spends the bulk of his time. Between movie-making and bringing lost people to Christ, Cameron makes it clear there is no contest. Cameron insists that Christians should never back down when it comes to sharing the full gospel of Christ. He feels every believer has a responsibility and a calling to do so, and that helping others learn how to lead people to Jesus has been the most important work of his career. The Christian television and film star is known to many fans for his portrayal of young charmer "Mike Seaver" on the show "Growing Pains", a hit TV situation comedy that aired on ABC from 1985 to 1992, as well as for his leading man stints as "Buck Williams" in two end-times thriller movies: "Left Behind", "Left Behind II: Tribulation Force". He will also star in the upcoming "Left Behind: World War III", which is in post-production. It will be released later this year. Thursday, July 14, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7I Football Team Changes Name The Holabird Democrats have become the Holabird Flyers. The reason for this sudden decision was something Team Owner Jerry Hinkle read on the internet. That all of the bloggers in South Dakota are a family. Some Rural Sociology Major Claims that there is a certain kinship among all of them. So in the interest of true diversity, Jerry Thought a name change was in order. The new name pays homage to the Wright Brothers, who called Holabird home back in 1893. The Holabird Kittyhawks just didn't have the same ring to it. Double Oh My, License to Drive When at the Golden Buffalo Casino Last night, Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle noticed that his Driver's License was going to expire next Monday. So today Jerry drove to the Hyde County Courthouse (carefully of course) to get it renewed. After filling out the forms, and giving away his organs again, he took the test and passed. For the next 5 years barring the unforeseen, Jerry will be able to drive anywhere in South Dakota, as long as he keeps obeying the rules of the road. As far last night goes, Jerry went to the Golden Buffalo with Harold and Mary Hinkle, Roger and Linda Wurtz, and Arnold and Ethel Rittel, but did not gamble. He is saving his dough to give to his cousin Kassidee Kennedy's mission (at least that's what he says). There were some who gambled and lost, as well as some who won. The names of both will be withheld in case the IRS is reading. The winners, and losers, both know who they are. Paraguay Invaded By Columbian Guerrillas Reprinted from Christian Aid Mission On their recent visit to remote tribal congregations, a team of native missionaries in Paraguay discovered that leftist guerrillas, apparently from Colombia, had been infiltrating rural communities with their ideologies. "The area has become very dangerous now," one of the missionaries wrote to Christian Aid Mission after the visit. "The Colombian guerrillas have tried to indoctrinate the population, and they are creating conflicts." Communist groups often target poor, isolated communities, like the tribal ones reached by native missionaries, to recruit fighters. They play off of residents' hopeless poverty with promises of wealth, or intimidate and force them into joining their ranks. Native missionaries are offering these tribal communities a different kind of hope through the gospel of Christ. Despite growing dangers, one ministry leader reports, "the truth is we can't stop preaching the gospel here because there is a great burden in our hearts for the souls that may go without hearing about Jesus." In addition to sharing their faith, these missionaries provide food, clothing and medical care to poverty- stricken villagers. They also run an orphanage for tribal children and a vocational training program for poor adults. Pray for safety for these brave servants of God. The Dukes Movie: Don't Go Unless They Clean It Up By Rep. Benjamin Cooter Jones (D-Ga) Hey Y'all, I thought this would be a good time to let everybody know my feelings about the upcoming "Dukes of Hazzard" feature film, since if it weren't for the "Dukes" fans, our show would have been long since "put out to pasture." The folks who love our show have kept it alive and well, despite the lack of respect it has been shown by "Hollywood." CMT is getting record ratings and the kids of America think it is a new show. In our business, it doesn't get much better than that. Like our fans, those of us who worked on the show have a special affection for it. For over 25 years we have cared about it, nourished it, and fought for it. And it seems to me that it is time for us to have our voices heard again. From all I have seen and heard, the "Dukes" movie is a sleazy insult to all of us who have cared about the "Dukes of Hazzard" for so long. You probably know that the creators of this film wanted absolutely nothing to do with the original members of the cast. Doesn't that seem strange to you, given how popular our show is right now, and how popular our cast still is? After all, our huge success for so many years is the reason they are making the film, and the film, after all, is about us. In the last few years I reckon I've done many hundreds of interviews around the country on radio and television and for dozens of newspapers. I always tell them that ours is a classic family show with positive values, great action, wonderful slapstick comedy, mighty fine country music, and a very gifted cast who had great chemistry. America could tell that we were clearly enjoying what we were doing and for that hour folks could forget their troubles and just have fun along with us. It is exactly the kind of entertainment that families crave right now. Lately most of the interviewers want to know my opinion of the "movie" version that is coming out in August. I've always tried to be candid with my opinions, and when it comes to this film, I think it would be a mistake for me to pull the punches. Like you, I haven't seen the film, but I have read the script, I've talked to a lot of people who worked on the set, and I've seen the raunchy TV commercial. Frankly, I think the whole project shows an arrogant disrespect for our show, for our cast, for America's families, and for the sensibilities of the heartland of our country. Unless they clean it up before the August 5th release date I would strongly recommend that true blue Dukes fans hold their noses and pass this one up. And whatever you do, don't take any youngsters to see it. As plain as I can put it, the only thing this movie shares with our show is the title. Oh, they do have the General Lee flying through the air, although according to the New York Times, they didn't even use stunt drivers. Sure it bothers me that they wanted nothing to do with the cast of our show, but what bothers me much more is the profanity laced script with blatant sexual situations that mocks the good clean family values of our series. Now, anybody who knows me knows that I'm not a prude. But this kind of toilet humor has no place in Hazzard County. Rather than honoring our legendary show, they have chosen to degrade it. When CMT brought our series back on the air in February of this year, 23 million viewers tuned in on that first weekend. Very few, if any, movies have ever matched those kind of numbers for an opening weekend. Our show is a hit right now! Very young children have fallen in love with the "Dukes" on CMT, just as their parents did 25 years ago. They love the positive values of our show, its wholesome friendliness, and the fact that Bo and Luke are heroes who always make the right moral choice. How can the producers of this film be so cynical, so jaded, so out of touch with America's heartland as to trash a great family show in this way? Well, there may not be much we can do, but we have to do all we can. Let's send them a message: "If you don't clean it up, we're not going to see it." Maybe a kick in their pocketbook will get their attention. Wednesday, July 13, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7H Dakota War to Celebrate The Century Reaching the 100th post mark is apparently a big deal in the Blogging world. There have been a few blogs that are bragging about it anyway. One of that proud number will be SD War College. They will celebrate their 100th post with the Professor asking 10 questions of a celebrity guest. Oh who could it be? Gotta wait to find out. Meanwhile The Holabird Advocate plans on celebrating their 700th post. This includes all regular editions of our little of our little Newsblog, extra editions, and Audblog segments. We are looking for our 700th post to be around Emorymas in 9 days time. Publisher Forced to Celebrate Birthday Early They say that the only thing worse than having your birthday remembered is to have it forgotten. Linda Wurtz called on Harold and Mary Hinkle to invite them out to celebrate her birthday tonight. As it happens, today is Linda's birthday. But Mary discovered that one can get the birthday special at the Golden Buffalo in Lower Brule within a week of their birthday. Since Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle has a birthday on Monday next, he is being forced to go along. The worst part of it is that it's bingo night. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate told Jerry that he should look on the bright side. Maybe he'll find somebody there he likes more than Ms. Amanda. "Wanna bet?!", he declared. See, he's already in a gambling mood. Harold is also betting that he can get Darrel Hinkle to look in on E.E. Hinkle while they are gone in case the old boy needs something. Steve Hemmingsen Hits Nail on the Head There are a couple blogs that have "Must Read" recommendations everyday. To be honest, none of us here find something on the net that's a "Must Read" everyday. Today's "Weighing In" from Keloland's Steve Hemmingsen is as close as anyone has come here lately. He talks about so-called "experts". You can link to his column here: keloland.com/NewsDetail2817.cfm?Id=0,40986 if you're too lazy to go to Keloland yourself. Tuesday, July 12, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7G Holabird Woman Saves Life Kristi Hinkle had quite a vacation. She anticipated having lots of fun with her three kids, but she never anticipated that her EMT training could come in handy. That is, until she needed it. Kristi and the kids went out with her friend Corina to an area restaurant, where a man went into a diabetic coma. The man's wife thought he was having a stroke. Kristi was was aided by two Registered Nurses, who couldn't find his pulse. Luckily, Kristi knew where to look. She kept him going until the paramedic got there. Great job Kristi! Next week Kristi will be going for some more EMT training. Martin Earl, of the St. Luke's Careflight Air Ambulance Service will show those who show up how to place people in and out of a helicopter. Kristi may never use this training, but you never know. Democrats in Holabird? Ever since Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle formed the Holabird Democrats Football team, some from both major parties have asked if there are any actual Democrats in Holabird. Well, wonder no more! There are at least 9 registered Democrats that we know of in the Holabird Metropolitan area out of a total population of 38. Two of those 9 went to the National Convention in Boston. One of them wrote an article for the Holabird Advocate last year. Neither one of them was me. Iacocca Makes Commercial Comeback by Penny Nicholson-Dymes Holabird Advocate Financial Editor With both Ford and GM offering employee discounts to anyone willing to buy an automobile from them, Chrysler decided to do the same. To make the announcement they got some annoying fat guy to do a commercial with 80 year old former Chrysler Chairman Lee Iacocca. The Chairman Emeritus has kept a somewhat low profile since retiring in 1992. It's nice to know that whenever the company needs him, he'll be there. Jerry Hinkle heard that after Iacocca's retirement, he got involved in a bicycle company. Harold Hinkle thinks maybe he's giving that all up for a new car. Monday, July 11, 2005   VOL. IV Issue 7F The Two Phases of Ms. Amanda When it comes to the business called show, Amanda Barrett is a rare talent. She can sing, as she does as half of The Ditty Bops, and she can act, as she does as half of Pretty Things, a sketch comedy on Public Access Cable. Through the courtesy of our good pal Oddjob, we have photos of here doing both. The right photo is Ms. Amanda displaying some "Pretty Things" merchandise at live showing of the DVD of Season 1 of the show last Friday night with guest appearances by Ms. Abby, of The Ditty Bops that includes a sketch of her and Amanda's musical debut as "Pot and Pan." More details can be found at http://www.prettythingsss.com. The left photo has Ms. Amanda providing Dan Hicks with some hot licks on the mandolin when The Ditty Bops opened for him last night. On top of her obvious talents, she can also juggle and eat fire. No wonder her hair is so brightly colored. Perhaps someone will share so photos of those activities as well. This pretty much proves that if Ms. Amanda will do it, and someone will film it, we will publish it. This is an opportune time to mention that Holabird Advocate Publisher Jerry Hinkle has a birthday coming up. You can buy postcards and popcorn stickers for the low price of 50 cents. If you think about it, that's cheaper than a Hallmark card, Bub! Publisher to Play Ball with Todd Epp Todd Epp is starting a Fantasy Football League with a little help from ESPN. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, thought he'd see just how exclusive this club was. Be darned if he didn't get in. ESPN thought his team name of Holabird Honkeys was unacceptable, so he changed it to the Holabird Democrats. ESPN approved, but Mr. Epp has not voiced an opinion one way or the other. Jerry recognizes some famous Democratic Names on the owner's roster, of course Johnson is a name that's as common as dirt, even in South Dakota. ESPN does things a little different that Yahoo!, but Jerry thinks that he'll catch on. Like Yahoo! The league and teams are free. One can upgrade for $30, but Jerry would rather lose every game than part with his principles, or his own money. Oh yeah, he's a Democrat, all right! Rock Star:INXS Premieres Tonight by Ethan Aniston Entertainment Editor, Holabird Advocate CBS begins the search for America's next has-been tonight. In fact the are searching at press time. I can't think what the fuss is about. The previous lead singer of INXS killed himself 8 years ago, and they are just now getting around to replacing him. Why bother? We've seen the contestants in the previews. All the males contestants are groaning like they ate too much cheese and are trying to excrete it ASAP. The ladies show enough skin to be Rock Stars, we even hear one of them trying to channel the spirit of Janis Joplin. Will it be enough? Who cares? Nobody's gonna watch this all the way through. I look for an early cancellation of this show. Give it 4 weeks. Saturday, July 09, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7D Media Turns the Heat on Senator Thune There is a series of high fives all around for the bang up job that blogs and the MSM has done on reporting South Dakota Junior Senator, John Thune, and his connection to a used car dealer. The Holabird Advocate has been quiet on this story, since we know nothing about it, and unlike some people, we aren't afraid to admit it. They say, "Where there's smoke, there is fire". We see neither smoke nor fire. The man we call "The Watcher" does, however, and so we'll see what comes of it. One thing we know for sure is that the fact that he and Todd Epp seem to agree on this. The fact that they agree on anything as shaken us so that all of us here at the Holabird Advocate are going to show up early for church tomorrow. Jesus is close at hand, Ya'll! New Bedroom For the Hinkles With a brand new carpet in the living room, Mary Hinkle turned her attention to the bedroom. She put the old living room carpet in there, replacing the 35 year old carpet that came with the house. It was then that the bed ceased to be to Harold Hinkle's liking. He and Mary braved the 102 degree weather on Friday afternoon to look at mattresses in the Pierre area furniture stores. A Sealy unit at Klocker's with a picture of "The Counting Sheep" did it for Harold, and so it was purchased before he had a chance to change his mind. The next morning, Harold got Jerry Hinkle out of bed early so they could take delivery of the mattress when the store opened at 9 am. Jerry noticed quite a few changes since the last time he was in Pierre. Pizza Hut moving across the street, Taco John's new look, and the road construction near Dakotamart, just to name a few. Jerry was tempted to call the Professor from SD War College, since he now knows his name. He thought better of it because, after all, it was the weekend. The Professor has a wife and six kids, so he didn't need to be bothered with one of his Summer School students, even for just a while. Instead, he and Harold went to Doug Hinkle's house and watched Cade drive his battery powered dump truck. Jerry noticed that Cade kinda drives like his great-grandfather, E.E. Hinkle, used to. By the way, E.E. gave up his license 4 years ago. The new bed is installed now, so Harold should sleep like a baby (minus the crying to be fed and changed we hope). All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish Harold and Mary another 35 years of happy slumbering, or as close as they can come to it. E.E. Hinkle Has Hard Time Hearing God The Hinkle family struggle with getting 102 year old E.E. Hinkle to hear them when they talk. It would help if he would listen, but that's how it goes. For a while it seemed as though God Himself was the only one he could listen to, but that seems to be going by the wayside too. The old boy claimed that God told him he wouldn't be around for his birthday. For good measure, he also told E.E. that he had a doctor's appointment on July 5 (ah, no, he didn't). Also that his birthday was in 3 days (more like 2 weeks). Is the Almighty has this much trouble talking to him, imagine how difficult it is for the rest of us. Still, we all love him. As Bergit Hinkle once observed, "He's a pain in the butt, but he's my pain in the butt." Hard to believe she only had an 8th grade education with wisdom like that. Friday, July 08, 2005  VOL. IV Issue 7D The Ditty Bops Opening Act for Dan Hicks June 10 The Ditty Bops are opening 2 shows for Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks this Sunday in LA. They are so excited about this because his music has had a great influence on them. The shows are at: The Mint 6010 W. Pico Blvd. LA, CA 90036 323-954-9400 Doors: 7:00pm & 9:30pm Check the concert listings on The Ditty Bops website for updates on showtimes and ticket prices They will also have one more show in LA in earlyAugust before beginning our tour with somebody named Tori Amos. Details will be forthcoming. Holabird Advocate Readers can visit their web site at www.thedittybops.com And here is another piece of news related to The Ditty Bops. So far on the Holabird Advocate Vote Caster it is unanimous that Ms. Amanda's hair is, in fact orange. Ms. Amanda (pictured right) is one half of the talented team that make up The Ditty Bops. Anyone who wishes to weigh into this issue is encouraged to go to the Vote Caster page link found near the bottom of the Front Page of the Holabird Advocate. There are many other trivial issues there as well. Kassidee Kennedy to Czech out Europe Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle is proud to announce that his cousin, Kassidee Kennedy, is giving up the pampered American live to become a missionary in the city of Prague in the Czech Republic. She is very excited about this prospect, and is looking forward to the adventure, and so are all of us here at the Holabird Advocate. The Holabird Church of Universal Life is going to help her out too. They have almost $70 that they intend on using to sow seed into the ministry. Only $50 more to go. They were going to use that money for the Christian Worship Hour, but there has been a change in plans. Anyone who wishes to donate to either endeavor with the church or on their own is welcome to do so. As with the Holabird Church of Universal Life, the organization that Kassidee is working with doesn't take Pay Pal. Trust Entertainment Tonight to Get it Wrong by Jerry Hinkle, Holabird Advocate Publisher I shouldn't be so hard on E.T. After all, they are giving us all something to laugh about in this great time of tragedy. Mainly themselves. I was deeply touched that after 9/11, the British played "The Star Spangled Banner" at their Changing of the Guard Ceremony. America did something similar after yesterday's attack, Playing God save the Queen at our ceremony at Arlington National. Not much of a gesture either time, but still symbolic. My heart goes out to all British Subjects at this time. My comments are not directed at any of those folks. Should you get offended, I apologize to each and every one of you in advance. Entertainment Tonight is a good example of how not to report news. They are slightly above average at what they do, but poor in the area of hard news. Many people died in the bombings that occurred on 7/7, many more were hurt, and I guess some are still trapped in their "Tube" system. Did E.T. mention that? No! They were more concerned with the fact that, "Gwyneth lives there!" and the fact that "Madonna lives there!". I say "So what?". They made their choice to live there, and now they are paying for it. The kicker came a few seconds later with, "David Schwimmer is trapped in the Tube, and nobody has heard from him!". If this had been Lisa Kudrow, I'd have swum across the ocean with my #12 scoop shovel to dig her out myself. But, DAVID SCHWIMMER?!? That's really too much. Five minutes later, they do a feature on Matthew Perry, where he says that he stays in contact with his "Friends" co-stars and, "They're all doing great." (oh-oh, someone didn't get the memo).All kidding aside, I hope that every pampered celebrity in London, and anyone unfortunate enough to be trapped with them come out of this OK. Some will blame W for the events of 7/7, they may even blame America. Let's not forget that it wasn't us that did this, it was them. Thursday, July 07, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7C Explosions Rock London Earlier today in London, England, there were a series of explosions in the subway system and a few of the world famous double Decker busses. Authorities have confirmed 4 explosions so far and a death toll of 40 with injuries numbering in the hundreds. Those numbers are expected to rise before the counting is done. Government officials, and the MSM are blaming Al Queda, but it could be IRA. It could be French retaliation for getting the Olympic Games in 2012. It could even be Doprah Winbag throwing her weight around. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are patiently waiting for the facts. That's all we can to because on the TV right now, and possibly all day CBS will be filling time until they get their feces consolidated, as Robin Boller might say. The sad part of this occasion is that the vital social issues that were being discussed at the G8 summit will be put on hold. That means no aid for Africa. Bono and the other do-gooders will have to dig into their own wallets now. Holabird Gets Hot HOT HOT! Temps are on the rise all over the Holabird area. We can expect a high of at least 99 degrees today, with temps going into three digits in the next few days. Better stay close to the air conditioner and when the mercury gets above 90, eat plenty of ice cream. (This article is sponsored by the South Dakota Dairy Council) The Ghost of Borglum Unmasks The Professor One of the newest blogs to hit South Dakota is Gutzon Borglum Online (GBO for short). It is supposedly written by Rushmore's sculptor, yet he drank himself to death back in 1941. He must be a ghost. He seems to be rather hip for a guy 100 years older than our Publisher. He is able to enjoy both SD Blog watch and it's imitators SD Watch. He knows too much to be a mere mortal, as he revealed the name of the man we call "Professor" from SD War College. Well, partially at least. His full name is available to anyone who can read the phone book. One thing about the blog written by Borglum's spirit that we do approve of is that those who read his site and want to move on to something better can do so thanks to his Holabird Advocate link. His site was brought to our attention because of that. He hasn't mentioned this site yet, but he will soon enough. Tuesday, July 05, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7B Holabird Has Party and Parade for July 4th Once again, Ed and Barbara Nemec put together one of the most festive social gatherings in the Holabird Metropolitan area last night at the Nemec Ranch. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle was among the honored guests at the event. Most of the Nemec children were present as well. The Oldest Nemec daughter, Natalie, wasn't there, but was very well represented by her son, David. Even with the current "Mad Cow" scare, Jerry failed to discover if the beef on the grill was South Dakota Certified. This is because he was raised to not complain with his mouth full. He and quite a few others followed Bridget Nemec Drummond in the annual parade in the backyard to work up an appetite. Bridget was playing "Stars and Stripes Forever" on the flute. This went on for a good while. Some were too cool to join in the parade, but Jerry figures who needs dignity, when you can be in the entertainment business. All in the parade carried a flag in their hand. Barbara brought up the rear to make sure all who were in the parade stayed there. There was a sing along portion to the festivities as well. One guest put the national anthem on her cell phones ringtone in case she got a call during that part of the celebration. Conversation was never lacking. Nick Nemec told of seeing a big rattlesnake at West Bend and had to call for a ranger, who gathered it up to put it somewhere else. Nick was advised that a PITA Member from Hill City claims they taste like chicken. Nick also notes that several websites around the state are carrying link to the Holabird Advocate. The current hay situation was also discussed. Ed stated that this year's hay crop was the best he has seen in 40 years, and wonders if they may get a second cutting this year. Of course, it wouldn't be Independence Day without fireworks. The display this year was superb. Brigette Nemec spend $18 on one called "the Drum Barrel". It was the show stopper. As the display was playing out, our Publisher thought of the battle at Fort McHenry, when the American flag was first illuminated. He also thought of those in the service who were, and are, in harms way. Jerry arrived late, but made up for it by staying too long. He managed to leave before midnight, but did not get home until about 12:06 am Tuesday morning. Still, it was time well spent. No Date set for Hansen Wedding Anne Hansen has reported to the Holabird Advocate that she has not set a date for her wedding to some fella named Matt (she knows the last name, but we don't) She has announced that she will not set a date until she and Matt can afford to buy a house. All of us at the Holabird Advocate wish more prospective spouses would think ahead like that. It might make for a better world all the way around. South Dakota Songbook (This is the song whose tune is borrowed for "The Star Spangled Banner". It a famous drinking song in England, but looks difficult t o sing, even while stone cold sober. Barbara Nemec wanted to know the words, so here they are, just for her) "To Anacreon in Heaven" To Anacreon in Heav'n, where he sat in full glee, A few Sons of Harmony sent a petition; That he their Inspirer and Patron wou'd be; When this answer arrived from the Jolly Old Grecian; "Voice, Fiddle, and Flute, No longer be mute, I'll lend you my name and inspire you to boot, And besides I'll instruct you like me, to intwine, The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine." The news through Olympus immediately flew; When Old Thunder pretended to give himself airs. If these Mortals are suffered their scheme to pursue, The Devil, a Goddess, will stay above stairs. "Hark," already they cry, "In transports of joy, Away to the Sons of Anacreon we'll fly. And besides I'll instruct you like me, to intwine, The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine. The Yellow-Haired God and his nine lusty Maids, From Helion's banks will incontinent flee, Idalia will boast but of tenantless Shades, And the bi-forked hill a mere desert will be. My Thunder no fear on't, Shall soon do it's errand, And damme I'll swing the Ringleaders I warrant, I'll trim the young dogs, for thus daring to twine, The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine." Apollo rose up and said, "Pry'thee ne'er quarrel, Good sing of the Gods with my Vot'ries below: Your Thunder is useless"--then showing his laurel, Cry'd "Sic evitable fulmen" you know! " Then over each head My laurels I'll spread So my sons from your Crackers no mischief shall dread, While snug in their clubroom, they jovially twine, The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine.' Next Momus got up with his risible Phiz And swore with Apollo he'd cheerfully join-- 'The full tide of Harmony still shall be his, But the Song, and the Catch, and the Laugh, shall be mine. Then Jove be not jealous Of these honest fellows," Cry'd Jove, "We relent since the truth you now tell us; And swear by Old Styx, that they long shall intwine, The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine." Ye Sons of Anacreon then join hand in hand; Preserve Unanimity, Friendship, and Love! 'Tis yours to support what's so happily plann'd; You've the sanction of Gods, and the Fiat of Jove. While thus we agree, Our toast let it be: "May our Club flourish Happy, United, and Free! And long may the Sons of Anacreon intwine, The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine." Saturday, July 02, 2005 Friday, July 01, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 7A E.E. Hinkle Ready For Come to Jesus Meeting Getting messages from the LORD is nothing new for the Hinkle family, especially for 102 year old E.E. Hinkle. Some time ago, he claims, the LORD told him that he wasn't going to make it to his next birthday. Of course there's no way to know for sure until it happens. Jerry Hinkle claims that there is no need to change any plans as of yet. Emorymas can still be a festive occasion, even if the old boy himself is not on Earth to enjoy it. And in case it was not, in fact, bona fide prophecy, we can all enjoy his 103rd birthday with him still here among us, but in bed asleep, as he usually is. Of course, any and all people who would like to see him alive know that none of us are promised tomorrow on Earth, so do what you think best. Noel Pothast to Have Heart Surgery With the Hinkle family, if it isn't one thing, it's another. Today at around 11 am, Noel Pothast will be having some kind of procedure done on her heart. It is fairly routine, still 1 out of 50 people do die from the surgery. All Holabird Advocate Readers who are able to are asked to read Psalm 91 with Noel in mind. Thank you in advance. Billy Graham Never Says "Never" Billy Graham's recent New York crusade was regarded as his last stadium appearance, but family and friends of the world's most famous preacher are not so sure. Graham's New York crusade drew more than 242,000 and resulted in more than 9,400 commitments to Christ. "I was asked in an interview if this is our last crusade, and it probably is-in New York," Graham told the crowd of 90,000 gathered for the final meeting last Sunday. "But I also said, 'Never say never.'" Graham added that he has a strong invitation to preach in England this fall, which he will discuss this week with a delegation that came to New York. Graham's eldest son, Franklin Graham, who heads the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (BGEA), noted that "right now his health is very good." "He's the best he's been in three years," Franklin said. "When he gets strong he starts having all kinds of ideas and that means more work for me!" What are Graham's plans for the future? When asked about the legacy he hopes to leave, Billy Graham told Charisma: "I want to be remembered as a person who was faithful to God, faithful to my family, faithful to the Scriptures and faithful to my calling. I want the world to remember Billy Graham as a man that dedicated his life to the Lord and never looked back." 
|
 |
