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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Saturday, August 01, 2009 Well, it's about time I get cracking on this sequel before people forget the original. It's been nearly 2 months since I promised to continue the story, and so here 'tis: As you recall, my rebel son and daughter in law had invited me to a drinking establishment known as the Moonlight. It was hot for June, and had to wash the smell off, and fell asleep in the tub. My rebel daughter in law entertained me as best she could by herself since my rebel son was occupied elsewhere. Jessica is quite a lady. Not perfect, but few of us are. Some say she's hot, but I've never taken her temperature. If I tried, she might break my thermometer. Besides, she dislikes that label. She is what the King James Bible may describe as beautiful and well favoured, but even that is not enough.She has more than just physical beauty in her corner. She is also sharp minded, kind hearted, and no nonsense. Anyone wanting to get the best of her had better have their facts straight. She has also never failed to be kind to me, even when she'd rather I would disappear. Picture yourself in her shoes. Would you want to spend your Wednesday night with a crashing bore like me (or is that boar)? She made the best of it. We talked of the shooting in DC, and how the play featuring a meeting between Anne Frank and Emmett Till was set to debut. We compared CNN and FOXNEWS as well. In order to make sure I'd listen to her, she furnished me with a beverage called Captain Morgan. I'm not sure how many glasses I had, because I lost count at 3. I remember a guy named Tony that Jessica said I had something in common with. I don't remember much more about him. Colin has "It". I don't know what "It" is or where the same can be acquired, other than to tell you that "It" is the same thing that can turn a guy like Brad Pitt who doesn't shower or shave into a babe magnet, whereas I could shave thrice a day, baptize myself in "Brut by Faberge" and still be turned down by drunk girls at closing time. When he arrived at the Moonlight, I couldn't help but notice that one of the lady bartenders offered him sex on the beach while Jessica was not listening. He turned her down twice. Oh yeah, he has "It" all right!I call him rebel son after being inspired to do so by a Hank Jr. video. He should have that talk with his biological son Hank 3. He says the F word a lot in his music! Father's and sons don't always see eye to eye. Sometimes I'm just as difficult to please as my old man. It seems I always disappointed him. I was introduced to the man known as Big J on the Radio at KMIT. I had never heard of him before, since I figure he's on the same time Rush Limbaugh is. The other big news of the day was that some beauty queen lost her crown because she said something about gay marriage that wasn't kosher, evidently. I was asked about my thoughts. All I could think of mas mentioning that since the bride pays for the ceremony, if two guys get hitched, the preacher doesn't get paid. I wonder if two chicks get married, does the preacher get paid twice? SWEET! If only I could find two chicks that want to get married, to each other that is. I'm a confirmed bachelor. There is only one woman in this whole world that I'd ever want to get married to, and she's too good for me. I guess my biological clock must be digital, because I don't hear any ticking. I guess that's how it's supposed to be. After all, my dad once told me that since I don't have money, I have no business making time with the ladies at my age. He said I would embarrass myself and dissapoint her. He was right about that. One more thing about gay marriage: that may be the only situation where at least one fella actually wants to get married. I could be wrong! I made my way home that evening with the voice of an angel in my head. Not just an angel, but THE angel. The one person in this world that always inspired me to want to be a better person. It was as if I could hear her calling to me, but I couldn't see her. The next morning my head felt like monkeys were tap dancing on it. I'm not sure there will be a Part 3 to this story, but as far as my "kids" go, they are OK. I hope that their respective "real" families are as proud of them as I am. They had more to do with it than I did. Wherever they are, I hope they're happy!
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