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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Publisher Gets Registered

It took a while, but Jerry Hinkle finally got registered for the Summer and Fall Terms. Why did it take a while? Well, "Anne Frank" was one reason. The other one, Let's just say "to err is human, to really mess up, you need a computer". But it's all over now. Jerry is currently awaiting his financial aid status.

Audition Gets Seal of Approval

One hurtle down, and a few more to go. Agnes Hahn has given her blessing for Jerry Hinkle to audition for the role of the Governor in "The Best little _____house in Texas". In fact, she is hoping he gets the part so she can come on down to M town and see the show. She does know that Burt Reynolds isn't playing the sheriff, doesn't she? Since the production isn't until August, Jerry just might not tell Dr. Blumer, Prof. Miller, and the rest. If this show is anything like the movie, there will be a fair bit of singing and dancing in this role. But if Charles Durning can do it, Jerry can pick it up. The worst anybody can do is turn him down.
North of 40: Getting ready for New Year's
by Red Green
I want to talk to all the middle-aged guys out celebrating New Year's this year.
This may seem premature, but don't be fooled. It's never too soon to start thinking about the traditional midnight New Year's kiss. You don't want to screw it up again this year.
You only have to remember one thing - kiss your wife first. Excuses don't work.
Like "I thought I was kissing you," or
"I tried to, but someone Else's lips got in the way,"
or worse still,
"Come on, honey, it's New Year's. I'm supposed to have fun."
Now, in order to kiss your wife at midnight, you have to be able to find her. That means you need to stay relatively sober throughout the evening.
If you're too inebriated to see, you can't recognize your wife. Braille is not an option. And after you do find her, and you're kissing her like she's your own personal Beauty Queen, don't be simultaneously making eye contact with Miss Congeniality. A split focus at that crucial moment can lead to other splits - a split lip, a splitting headache, or even a splitting wife.
Don't use New Year's as an excuse to reconnect with ex-girlfriends. Should old acquaintance be forgot? Absolutely. Especially if she's attractive, and she's at the party, and she's carrying around pictures of a 12-year-old boy who looks exactly like you.

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