A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn,screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus do?' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, naturally.....I assumed you had stolen the car."

Life is not a western for me. It may have been once upon a time, but not now. It's a Midwestern. You see, here in the real world, the villains don't advertise their moral leanings with their head gear, and neither do the heroes. It's hard to know who to trust.

When I saw "Casablanca" for the first time last week, I had an involuntary recall of two things. "Barb Wire" starring Pamela Anderson, and a comedy sketch that had Roy Rogers playing Rick and Dale playing Elsa, or is it Ilsa. Well anyway, she had the part played by Isabella Rosselini's mother. They were funnier than Bogie and company, but Bogie was no Roy Rogers. In a way "Casablanca" was so much more realistic than a western. There was black, white, and all the shades of gray in between. In the Western, Roy, taught boys in his audience right from wrong. In the Midwestern, University students are told there is no right or wrong answer. The Message tells me a different story. It's just too bad I left it in the car that night. But as Ranger Gord says, "A poor workman blames his tools". The Message may not be a six-gun, but it blazes away at the truth. Just what this Midwestern world needs.