It's Winter Break, day 2. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle is wearing his winter pajamas, and trying to run the world from his computer. Not to worry, he'll be in his Pizza Hut uniform by 5 pm. He knows that Katy Duffy can get away with that look. He also knows that he is not that blessed. Maybe on his day off. Then again, maybe not. The pajamas are one thing, but why does he insist on wearing that darn hat and scarf. At least he takes them off when it's time to eat and sleep. The campus e-mail has slowed to a trickle. Jerry has moved off the waiting list in English Lit., and is back up to 16 hours again instead of the previous 13 (unlucky for some). Jerry has started drinking more water as the caffeine from earlier in the week slowly leaves his system. He really has no reason to stay awake until noon anyway. Jerry has $95 worth of books he hasn't read, but doesn't know which one to start with, so he looks at them a lot. Jerry has looked at the table of contents of "South Dakota Curiosities" to see if he or the outhouse Museum is listed. He isn't, but the Museum is, however.

Remember America's Finest
by Hugh Hewitt
Submitted by Marla McGeorge
In this season we are always full of joy at the return of families and friends to familiar places. But of course hundreds of thousands of America's finest won't be home for Christmas as they will continue their brave and unselfish service in places like Iraq and Afghanistan as well as scores more far flung bases and camps across the globe.Take a moment to remember these soldiers, sailors, airmen Marines and coast guardsmen and their families in your prayers, and perhaps to find some space in the Christmas budget for a donation to one of the many fine organizations supporting them such as SoldiersAngels.com SemperFiFund.org or FisherHouse.org. These and many other fine groups dedicate themselves to serving those in America's uniform with a special emphasis on those who have been wounded in the battles.
Female Role Models: Closer Than You Think
by Jerry Hinkle
courageous, dynamic Publisher,
of the Holabird Advocate
At times like this, I'm glad I have to TV reception. The Internet is all over Britney Spears' little sister being, as the saying goes, knocked up. I understand that she is an actress on some kiddie show on Nickelodeon, and the powers that be are going to write the pregnancy into the show. That's just what I want my 10 year old niece to watch! NOT!!!!!!!!!
One thing I've tried to do since coming to DWU is use the phrase "young ladies" instead of calling them "chicks" like I used to back in Holabird. I have discovered some very impressive young ladies here in Kornfield County who would make better role models than the whole of the Spears family. Not one of them has been in the media spotlight because they got pregnant at 16 like Britney's little sister has gone and done. OK magazine hasn't offered any of these young ladies $1 million to be their cover girl, and I doubt they ever will.
Ya'll know about my friends Amy Price and Katy Duffy already. Amy and Viki Swanson are crocheting their way to Africa for a mission trip. I would be one proud uncle if my 10 year old niece, Brittany, was to follow their lead someday. Katy convinced enough of her friends to take a listen to some some guy she plucked out of the crowd, and almost turned him into the Wesleyan Idle. She also found time to make him, as well as herself into A students. If that wasn't enough, she got elected president of the Freshmen class to boot.
Like I said, you know that already. One of the most impressive young ladies I've come across would probably kick my courageous dynamic rear end if I mentioned her by name on the Front Page, so I won't. Still, I am impressed by her sportsmanship and her ability to "Represent" for Christ as a rapper. And don't let her physical appearance throw you. Spiritually, this young lady is 10 feet tall. On top of that, she's a kind, compassionate listener. And as far as a role model goes, not only would I want all of my five nieces to follow her example, I wish I could be more like her myself.