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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Back on the Net Again!

All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are thrilled to be turning rumors into fact again. Some pretty good rumors have already started. Some thought our Publisher had trouble at the eye doctor and went blind, some wondered if he was busy messing with "Texas". Some just had no idea what was going on. Well, the boring truth is that Jerry Hinkle had a few papers to catch up on. The big one is the 8 page Buscaglia paper due on Thursday. Jerry also has a 2 page paper on John Wesley due Friday, but the Hut has given him Wednesday off, so that'll be no sweat. Incidentally, we understand that "Texas" is doing her 8 page paper on Hugh Hefner. That'll be an interesting read. No pictures allowed, Texas!
Publisher Attends "Relaxer"
DWU invited all of their students to the Rec Center on North Main Street for a "Relaxer". Apparently, our Publisher's good friend, Preston Carpenter was supposed to have been in charge of things. The first thing Preston did was convince Jerry Hinkle to provide a dozen pizzas for the estimated 50 people. Trouble was only about 25 showed up. Quality people though, every last one of them. Jerry even made a few new friends, and manged to keep the old ones even after Amy Price allowed him to play basketball on her team. Let's just say it's a good thing nobody kept stats on the guy. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wonder how Amy talked Jerry into "relaxing" that way.
North of 40: We know what we know
by Red Green
I Middle-aged men think they know everything.
Their wives think the complete opposite.
The truth lies somewhere in between.
Here's a short list of things that middle-aged men always know:
Where the benches are at the mall.
What the government is doing wrong.
How to make a really loud fashion statement.
How to grow a good lawn.
How to pass the time waiting for your wife to cool off.
How to make a complete hairstyle out of dwindling resources.
The location of the nearest men's room.

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