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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Saturday, December 01, 2007
Publisher Selects "Best Friend" as
2007 "Person of the year"
by Jerry Hinkle
courageous, dynamic Publisher
of the Holabird Advocate
One of the advantages of operating my own website is that I can always honor those who I believe deserve it, and if anyone has a problem with that,
As is has been my custom since I started this Newsblog, I've selected the one person who has made this year memorable and has shown a rare courageous, dynamic tendency. This years recipient doesn't need me to honor her. I doubt this honor will appear on her resume at all. Yet here it is, for all the world to see.
It all started with a haircut. I had returned to DWU after the Labor day weekend with said haircut because it was hot in the building where most of my classes are, Hughes Hall. A voice I had never really heard before in Intro to Public Service asked, "Jerald, did you get a haircut this weekend" The voice was that of Ms. Katy Duffy. I managed to say "Yes", and she said "It looks nice" or something like that. Before too long I started hearing that voice in my World History class as well. I was going to have to put up with that voice every day of the school week. With Time, I got used to the attention Ms. Duffy was giving me, half expecting it, and half dreading it. Then Homecoming came along. Ms. Duffy was elected Beanie Queen, (which was when this picture was taken, with Tyler Poppen, the Beanie King). I had the chance to kind of pay her back the irritation she was causing me, but realized that she was probably the best friend I had at DWU, because she was always asking what I was up to, if i had done the Public Service homework, when I was going to propose to "your little crushy crush" (a long story for another time) and other things. I even met her brother, who is also attending DWU.Then I started getting good grades. I saw that because Ms. Duffy was reminding me about homework assignments, that I was getting A's all over the place. So I put up with her. Then at Mid-Term time we were given a killer take home exam that I still have flashbacks about. She nagged me about that until I just about had enough and yelled at her to leave me alone, and thanked God that I'd not have to see her on Thursday and Friday of that week. As it happened I saw her on Thursday afternoon outside of class. "Hi Jerald", she started "How's the test going? Are you done yet?". I turned around to see Katy Duffy, but something had changed. I saw this lovely young lady with the most beautiful smile and seeing me had put it there for some reason that I have yet to figure out. We talked for a while, then moved on. At least she did.

Things were pretty casual after that. We'd talk about different things. Then came "Wesleyan Idol". I "denigrated" a song to her, calling her "my best friend in the whole wide room". She was so proud of that. Suddenly "Jerald" became "Jerry" after my audition, just as "Ms. Duffy" suddenly became "Katy". As time went on Katy helped me in other ways. She even warned me that another co-ed that I was interested in preferred ladies, so that saved me from what could have been a big disaster. I thought that perhaps we were getting closer, so started singing to her all the time. It got so that she didn't want to be around me. The ironic part of that was that there was a time when I'd have been glad to be shed of her, and when it happened, it was the last thing I wanted. We still speak to each other, but not as much as before. It's not like it used to be, and I doubt it ever will be.

Before Katy asked about my haircut on that September morning, I was walking a lonesome valley. Before I knew it, she was my best friend, heck, she was my only friend. After "Wesleyan Idol" I made hundreds of friends, but I'd trade every one of them in just to hear Katy say "I'm speaking to you, Jerald! Look at me and pay attention" just one more time and see the way that she smiles with her eyes. As I look back, I can only remember how I always wanted a friend who was kind, decent, smart, and 150% loyal. When I had that, I failed to be the same way. She sure doesn't need me at all. I know that she will go on to do many great things in the world. She can do anything, Governor Duffy, Senator Duffy. It wouldn't surprise me if she won every election she ran in straight to the White House. It's my hope and prayer that God will be with her as she does the best that she can. Until that day, she'll have to settle for President of the Freshman class, and one more honor. I give to you now the Holabird Advocate Person of the Year, for 2007: KATY DUFFY!

Postcard from Sonoma State

by Don Grungio

Wassup, Hinkster!
I just got done with finals and managed to keep the 4.0 average! Wooo! How've you been Mr. Hinkle? Doing great with your classes/the foxy ladies!?!?!? All my buds say 'yo' and hope you are having a blast!
P.S.- My girlfriend says you should update your blog and have pictures and other cool @$$ stuff.

Atheist Holiday... Love this one!

Submitted by Mary Hinkle

Clever!!! Would be nice to have more judges like this. In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays.. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holi days, while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, 'Case dismissed!' The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!' The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists' holiday!' The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?' The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same date -- April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,' consider that Psalm 4:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday!

Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!

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