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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007
War on Cancer Sounds Battle Cry
We have heard through our War on Cancer website of a man fighting pancreatic cancer. His name is Mark Etzen. As for his address. let's just say he is a Holabird resident for now. So log on to his site and give him some good old fashioned Holabird love! Here it is: http://etzen.blogspot.com/
Also fighting Cancer is Robin Boller who grew up in Highmore, and lives in Reno right now. We understand she has had surgery and is home right now. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate wish both Mark and Robin well in their fight. for more information about these battles and more log on to the War on Cancer site at http://wardeclared.blogspot.com/
Quinn Book Ready for Reading
Wildflower Ministries is proud to announce that Jackie Quinn's book, "At the End of Myself", is available for purchase. Those so inclined can buy the book directly from the publisher, Xulon Press, online at www.xulonpress.com/bookstore.php or by phone toll free at 1-866-909-2665. Purchases can be made online at the new and improved Wildflower Ministries website http://www.jackiequinn.com/ at soon as they get all the bus worked out. You can also purchase the book from Come 2 Jesus Ministries or borrow it from the Library at the Methodist Church in Highmore soon.
Jackie will be in Yankton on February 25 to present her book at St. Benedict Church at 1:30 pm. She will also be performing in concert at 2:45 pm. On February 26, Jackie will be at The Vineyard at the Yankton Mall from 11:30 am -1 pm for a book signing. At 7 pm Jackie will be with the Yankton Area Christian Writers at Peace Presbyterian Church in Yankton at 7 pm.
Jackie will have a review of "The Confident Woman" by Joyce Meyer in the spring issue of Spirit of the Plains Magazine. She will also debut her column, "Resolve to Risk". to subscribe log onto http://www.spiritoftheplainsmagazine.com/
Jesus will be opening many doors for Jackie. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate pray that she will be able to walk through each and every one.
Top Ten List
Top Ten Bill of Rights
If I Ran Jet Blue Air
by Jerry Hinkle
1. You have the right to remain silent. (So shut the ____ up!!!!! Ahem! After all you can fly coast to coast for $139!)
2. You have the right to huddle up close for warmth. (Why do you think we crowd you in there like sardines? Moron!)
3. You have the right to criticize us in the media! (Of course you seem to know that one already! Don't ya?)
4. You have the right to blame us for the nasty snowy weather while being safe and warm in one of our airplanes. (Don't ask me why, but you do!)
5. You have the right to a commode that works. (And they do until you ungrateful Smegheads use them all at once! Ya filthy animals!)
6. You have the right to be fed. (As soon as we reach our destination!)
7. You have the right to be entertained. (So sing "Micheal Row the Boat Ashore" until you lose your collective voices!)
8. you have the right to a free trip if your flight was not satisfactory. (But you don't have the right to tell us where to stick our free trip!)
9. You have the right to be comfortable. (So give each other back rubs! Make a new friend!)
10. You have the right to pray (and you better start right now, Bub)
North of 40: The Hard Sell
by Red Green
If any of you own your own business, manage a store, or engage in any commercial activity, I have a suggestion for you. You need to identify any of your customers who are middle-aged men and assign only your best salespeople to them. It is very hard to sell anything to a middle-aged man, unless it floats or rolls. The problem is that by this age they've made so many idiotic purchases that they've run out room for error -- especially if they're married. They've already bought the 8-track home entertainment system with the psychedelic color organ, the February time-share in Baffin Island and the amphibious car.
They've already experienced that things don't work as well as expected, particularly when you don't read the manual, and that no matter how softly you hit something with a hammer, the store probably won't give you a refund. If you're interested in selling something to a middle-aged guy, put not only your best, but also your oldest salesman on the case. When a middle-aged guy is confronted with a senior citizen who still has most of his fingers and can form a sentence, he immediately starts feeling better. And, if the old guy can tell him stories about the stupid things he's bought in his life, the middle-aged guy gets absolutely buoyant. He realizes that you can continue to make the kinds of mistakes he's been making and still manage to reach old age. Now he's optimistic and that's how all his troubles started in the first place. He's putty in your hands. That is, until he gets home, where he'll be in his wife's hands -- and in something much more serious than putty.

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