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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Monday, November 27, 2006
VOL. V Issue 11Q
Newquist Possibility For Sexy Carnivore
It has come to the attention of People Eating Delicious Animals (PEDA) that David Newquist wears something called a Pork Pie Hat. If Mr. Newquist can produce a photo of himself in said attire by years end, he just might become the Sexiest Carnivore for 2006, leaving Amanda Nolz eating his dust (which is not part of the recommended diet for PEDA members).
Speaking of Amanda Nolz, our friends at the Dakota Radio Group caught up with her recently because will be one of this week's speakers when she talks to convention attendees on Thursday morning at the South Dakota Cattlemen's Association Convention, which is to be held in Pierre. Nolz says she still receives e-mails from people across the country expressing appreciation for her efforts to stand up for her belief in the agricultural industry. As part of her appearance in Pierre this week, Nolz says she will talk about her story growing up in South Dakota and why she is so pro-active for agriculture.
Since we are still negotiating to move our home office to her hometown, we are just going to take her word for it that the Humane Society is anti-Agriculture in spite of her lack of proof, rather than fight about it.
Simple Home Remedies
Submitted by Mary Jo Nemec
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be to afraid to cough. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are.
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
And finally.....Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
One out of every four people suffer from a mental disorder. If you have three friends, and none of them have a problem..Well..You do the math!
Picking Flowers in Autumn?
Well, it's 22 degrees outside with freezing rain. What better time to pick flowers? The 4 choices for our official flower are loaded up and ready in alphabetical order. We've noticed that our friend's at Pierre's City Hall are checking in looking for their chance to weigh in on this.

What is your choice for the official flower of the Holabird Advocate?
Yellow Rose
Free polls from Pollhost.com

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