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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Saturday, April 29, 2006
VOL. V Issue 4R
UBS Cancels Thanks a Billion
After only 62 people have read it since it's inception, the UBS Network has decided to cancel Thanks a Billion. It has become incredibly obvious that It was not necessary to the Billion campaign. We'll read all about it on SD Watch & Epp Law Report.
Does this mean we Are not supporting Dr. Jack Billion? No! If Dr. Billion is in the area, we may even cover the event. UBS will find a way to help the campaign. Just not the way we have been. If Todd Epp Needs us, he knows where to look.
Getting Ready For Mai Fest
With just one week to go before Mai Fest, The family of Joan Hansen has started getting things ready to wish her well with her journey into middle age. Her mother, Agnes Hahn, is getting into the act. She has been baking Black Forest Cake, German Chocolate Cake, and Apple Strudle.
Closer to Holabird, it appears that if nothing changes, the plan is for Harold, Mary and Jerry Hinkle to head out bright and early next Friday Morning. Jerry is hoping to find his sleeping bag should he have need of it. He is also hoping to somehow pack his walking stick in a way that will get it past Homeland Security ( i.e. his father). With Harold Driving, there is no need to convert The Ditty Bops to cassette tape, as he wouldn't let the rest listen to it anyway.
Jerry broke the new odometer that he bought at Walmart. It still works, it was the clip that broke. Jerry has fashioned what Red Green calls "the Himmelman Hinge" from a somewhat excessive amount of duct tape. "Spare the duct tape, spoil the job".
Jose, Can You See?
by Jerry Hinkle
Holabird Advocate Publisher
The immigration debate was already heating up to a fever pitch, and then somebody decided to write a Spanish version of "The Star Spangled Banner". America is supposed to be "the great melting pot", but some of these so called Americans are just not melting.
As for me, I have no problem with the Spanish version. I do wonder why it was done. It's hard enough to sing in English. Ask Roseanne Barr, Aretha Franklin, Robert Goulet, or anyone else who ever messed it up on national television anywhere else for that matter.
Conversely, I think we are missing a wonderful chance for some ethnic diversity. Why not have a German version of the song? After all it was but just one vote that German was not our official language. Maybe a Norwegian version before next Syttende Mai rolls around.
Perhaps our neighbor to the north will follow our lead and print a French version of "O Canada" if they haven't already. Would that be so bad?

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