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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Saturday, April 02, 2005 VOL. IV Issue 2B The Pope is Dead! Long Live the Pope! Pope John Paul died, at around 2:37 pm this afternoon Holabird time, at age 84. The Vatican announced the Pope's death in an announcement, which read, "the Holy Father died this evening at 9:37 in his private apartment."The announcement came from papal spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls. It goes on to say that as John Paul wrote in 1996, all procedures for handling his death have been put in motion. He will be laid to rest within the next 3-4 days To put things in perspective, John Paul has been pope since our Publisher was in the 5th grade. The selection of a successor will begin with the "College of Cardinals" very soon. The Cardinals will be locked away to live on bread and water until a new Pope is elected. It will take a two-thirds majority to elect a Pope. The voting is done in a secret process, but we suspect it is similar to how they vote on "Survivor". All of us here at the Holabird Advocate extend the hand of sympathy to our Catholics Readers at this time. John Paul was a man of faith and peace. Because he had faith, he now has peace. Jokes Abound on April Fools We all had fun on April Fools Day, but no, Elvis is not going to move to Holabird, Microsoft isn't going to but Mount Rushmore, and Google isn't going into the beverage business (not too sure about that last part). However, Gmail is going to double the pleasure with 2 GB of memory in it's accounts. The Holabird Advocate has 2.05 GB as of now, just waiting to be filled. They only have 35 MB to fill it with. New Girl in Town According to the Highmore Herald, a new single woman has some into the Highmore area. She's been here since October, but they just got around to telling us about it now. Her name is Beth Anne Michaels, and she lives somewhere in rural Hyde County. Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle will give 25 shares of Holabird Advocate stock to the first person who introduces him to her. He has seen her picture and likes what he has seen so far. The person who does the introduction first will also be granted any favor that Jerry can grant so long as it is not illegal, immoral or fattening (that last part has some wiggle room). Try as he might, Jerry can't find a telephone number or an address on her. Good luck, Bubba! Prayer Requests Anyone? Could you use Prayer? Churches in the area care about you, and they'd like to help too. God answers prayer, so lift up your request to him. Any and all prayer requests are kept confidential unless you'd like to have it brought before a prayer group. You can email your requests to Rem and Marla at nowalive@venturecomm.net or mail them to box 506, Highmore S.D. 57345 Jesus cares about everything in your life This announcement was sponsored by the Holabird Church of Universal Life on behalf of NowAlive Ministries.
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