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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Thursday, August 14, 2003 VOL. II Issue 8H PONDEROSA PINES TO CLOSE DOWN Because of Joyce Ferris's vast improvement, and the fact that her father, E.E. Hinkle, can mostly take care of himself these days, it looks like his house can't and most likely shouldn't be refered to as the Ponderosa Pines Old Age Assistance home any longer. Joyce gets around with a cane, but has been cooking for her and her father. Except for the time she made banana bread with pancake flour instead of regular flour, she has not had any setbacks. "A GOOD LAND" ENTERS THE HOME STRETCH It's been a long, difficult road for all of those involved with the Historical Society's production of "A Good Land". The play has been shaping up quite nicely. The cast and crew of this great production can be proud of what they've done so far. Next Saturday night and Sunday afternoon promises to be fun for all. The work is not over, however, far from it, in fact. All the cast is to appear in costume tonight, those who have to make costume changes are going to start learning how to do it as quickly as possible. Saturday night's performance is preceeded by a dress rehersal at 1pm that afternoon, which means for us that Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, will spend most of that day in Highmore, Hence, the home office will be closed that day. E.E. Hinkle is worried that some big company is going to see Jerry's part of the play, take him out of Hyde County, and make him a star. Thus leaving nobody to take care of him. Nobody else seems to be worried about that. TOP TEN ARTICLES IN THE AARP BILL OF RIGHTS by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate Recently the American Assosiation of Retired Persons (AARP) have come up with a "Bill of Rights" for seniors. Right away I knew this puppy has "Top Ten" written all over it. AND NOW, FROM THE HOME OFFICE IN HOLABIRD, SOUTH DAKOTA, HERE ARE THE TOP TEN ARTICLES FOUND IN THE AARP'S BILL OF RIGHTS FOR SENIORS: 1. The right to drink prune juice. 2. The right to wear sweatshirts in the summertime. 3. The right to nap when and where you want to. 4. The right to have the television on as loud as you please. 5. The right to shake your head at, and to complain about, everything the younger generation does, thinks, or stands for. 6. The right to force the government to pay for everything you need, or think you need, so you can pass on your vast personal fortune to your children, who will spend it faster than it took you to make it. 7. The right not to take any pills if there's nothing wrong with you in the first place. 8. The right to say, "don't forget my senior discount, Bubba" to the minumum wage flunky at the store. 9. The right to eat salt on any food you choose. 10. The right to enjoy life, because you're only old once.
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