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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Thursday, February 28, 2002 VOL. I Issue 2I COMPUTER PROBLEMS AND ILLNESS DELAY PUBLICATION OF "THE HOLABIRD ADVOCATE" On Satuday morning as our courageous dynamic publisher,Jerry Hinkle,was watching over his grandfather,E.E. Hinkle, he noticed that something was definately wrong with the 99 year old gent.He was quiet(always a sign of trouble) and spent a lot of time sitting slumped over and had no energy.Jerry and Harold got him to eat breakfast,but he wanted to go back to bed.He stayed in bed for most of the afternoon and into the evening when Harold called Darrel over to see what he thought.it was decided to get the old boy to the hospital.Internet use around the Ponderosa was limited in case of telephone calls back and forth,postponing many stories, including an op-ed about the olympic figure skating.That will be coming up later in this edition. MARY HINKLE DESERTS THE PONEROSA TO LIVE IT UP While E.E.Hinkle was struggling for his life in the hospital,Mary Hinkle and her mother,Agnes Hahn,went to Lynel Rogers wedding to Sam Wurtz. It was reported by that she was at the dance for quite a while too.She didn't call home until Sunday afternoon.She and Agnes did go to see E.E. in the hospital on the way home.It was at that point that she saw how sick he was.Mary talked about not having the Y1C celebration and we can only assume she was planning his funeral in her head. E.E. HINKLE MAKES MIRACLE RECOVERY:DOCTORS STUPIFIED Monday when Harold and Mary went to see him in the hospital,E.E. Hinkle was sitting up wide awake and eating a hunk of roast beef.his only complaint was "Where's Jerry?".As it turns out Jerry stayed behind to take and leave messages with all the interested parties about his heath status. The doctors who were watching over E.E.for Doc Paul thought that he had a stroke and looked all over his cat scans for evidence,but none was found. The final dianosis was pneumonia.Of course people in his age group can die of pneumonia,but it may have been caught in time.E.E. made it back home on Wednesday afternoon.He was hungry and just a little tired. JERRY HINKLE FORCED TO TAKE HIS OWN ADVICE SMILES AT THE IRONY by Jerry Hinkle Special to The Holabird Advocate I,your courgeous and dynamic publisher, was quite impressed by the ladies olympic figure skating event,which took place a week ago tonight.Usually we on the Ponderosa can't recieve the NBC signal,but I watched the whole spectacle except for the scores that Michelle Kwan recieved.as it turned out they were more important than I realized.I couldn't believe that her scores and that of the Russian Slutskya were higher than Sascha Cohen.I remember what I told you the Reader earlier however and as hard as it was for me,I didn't let it bother me.I'm not the olny one who thought she deserved a silver medal,but I was not a judge and neither was the person who I talked to.Of course i am a little biased were MS. Cohen is concerned because the National Beef Council,who bring the words "Beef,it's what's for Dinner" into your homes in print,radio,and T.V.,sponsored her.Cattle producers,like us here on the Ponderosa pay for the activities of this organization.In a way we sponsered MS. Cohen.I've heard reports that she "accidentaly" bumped into Michelle Kwan 3 times in the duration of the olympic games.Vegatarians say that eating red meat makes people more aggresive If MS. Cohen is in fact eating red meat,and for the amount of money she gets,she better be,then I would be hard pressed to disagree.Poor MS. Kwan,I remember when she was the #3 skater on Team USA during the whole Harding-Kerrigan mess.Better luck next time,I guess.Life indeed is not fair,but that's the way life is,I guess.In conclusion i must say that the flawless performance that Sarah Hughes gave was worth of the gold medal she recieved.How anyone would or could dispute that is beyond me. POETRY CORNER This was written 4 years ago during the Nagano Games on CBS THE TRIPLE KLUTZ by Jerry Hinkle I watch the figure skaters on T.V. do figure eights Whenever I go on the ice I don't need those skates I'll never do a toe loop Much less a triple Lutz But one move I've perfected is called the triple Klutz You see,the skaters on T.V. Well they have such charm and grace But put a pair of skates on me And I'd fall on my face So I go on the ice with boots as clumsy as an ox I slip,bend over,and fall down I hope, on my buttocks So try this move when on the ice But look out,and beware Because if you should do it wrong You'll hurt more that your derriere And when you do it,don't be sad if you can't do it with class It's hard to look dignified when you're sitting outside on the ice
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