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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Monday, November 05, 2012

Publisher Votes Early

     Not wanting a good bath and shave to go to waste, our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle,  put his walking shoes on and headed to the courthouse to see if it was too late to vote early. The County Auditor, who knows Jerry by sight, wasn't available, but one of the deputies filled in as the straight man for what could have been a really funny YouTube video.
     Jerry walk up the step to the Auditor's office, asked if it was too late to vote early, trying hard not to sound like a hillbilly. After getting out his drivers license and having the deputy make sure he was registered. She asked if Jerry lived at his address. He spoke right up, "Oh yes ma'am. I walked all the way up here 'cause I didn't wanna drive all the way over to the Fairgrounds like I had to 2 years ago". She looked at the computer and said, "Well you've been moved to the Corn Palace this year." Not missing a beat, he replied, "Oh well, I'm hear already, I might as well go ahead". She gets out the ballot and the envelope making sure he understands the procedure. He went to the booth, filled in the proper ovals, placed the ballot carefully in the envelops so it wasn't bent, folded, stapled, or mutilated, and sealed it just as he was told. He then presented it to the deputy who looked it over as saw that her instructions were followed and let him know he did well! The easy part was over. The hard part kicks in while waiting for votes to get counted! some people don't take the time to vote, but Jerry enjoys voting. He does take it seriously, but always tries to have a certain amount of fun with it.

                                           Publisher to the Manner Born

     For the first time in 5 years of living in the big city, our Publisher, Jerry Hinkle, took his courageous, dynamic self to St. Mary's Episcopal Church for their turkey dinner. He went a few hours too early the first time. some dude named Rector told him that the dinner didn't start until 4pm. Well, you know how folks are in the big city. Jerry got there at about 5 pm and bought a $10 ticket, then made his way down to the basement through an amazing array of halls, finally making it to the dinning room, which was beautifully decorated. They let him pick up one dessert from the dessert table (he chose chocolate cake with whipped cream), and had him sit at a table with some random strangers. It turned out that one of the strangers was a retired trucker that used to frequent Mac's Corner. He asked if Jim and Eleanor King were still living, and was told they had both passed,
     Jerry was presented with a plateful of food to eat consisting of a bit of turkey, mashed potaoes and gravy, dressing and a generous amount of cranberry sauce. He was quite proud of himself for eating carefully enough that he didn't get his clothes, or his hands, dirty. He drank about 3 cups of coffee along with the meal, and when it became evident that he was to get no more, he left to go outside into the chilly rain. 

                                              North of 40 by Red Green

     I wanna talk to all you middle aged men out there because I've noticed that some people expect you and I to be fountains of wisdom just simply because we have reached a certain age. Well I've found a way to fake wisdom. It's really easy, all you have to do is smile and nod, maybe add a chuckle after someone else stops talking. See, If you're silent it gives the impression that you are in deep contemplation of the universe and all of its infinite mysteries, when really all you're really thinking about is "Didn't my wife want me to pick up something before I got home?" 
     See, it's easy to fake wisdom with silence. That silence tells people you're wise. So don't open your mouth and let them know that you're a total moron. Just let that be your little secret. And remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together!

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