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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Friday, February 15, 2008
Publisher Gets Naked at Walmart
Some people will try anything to get rid of congestion, sore throat and a cough. Jerry hinkle kind of wondered when a freind advised him to "get Naked". In this case Naked is an all natural antioxidant juice smoothie. A cocktail, if you will, of 5 different friut juices. Jerry bought a quart bottle at Walmart for a ridulous figure, which he then poured down inside his own ridiculous figure. The combonation of mangoes, apples, oranges, 3/4 of a banana and a hint of lemon have make a marked improvement on top of the water. Jerry didn't even taste the banana. If you know how much he hates them, you'd know what a big deal that was.
So Jerry's flying high again! Then along come his parents wanting him to take Nyquil, which he refused. Jerry did check the med cabinet and saw that he had the generic cherry flavored Nyquil equivelent as well as the generic Robitusin equivalent on hand. If he does have trouble sleeping, he may just have to follow their advice next time. As it is, he is breathing easier, coughing less, and best of all both his conscience and his sinuses are clear. To paraphrase Bud fox, "If he was doing any better, it would be a sin".
For MCC Valentine's Day Brings in the Love
The DWU Multi Cultural Committee sold Valentine cards with candy attached From Monday to Thursday and sold out their entire inventory by 11 am Thursday. Jerry Hinkle helped them out by purchasing 9 cards, but neglecting his 3 favorite blonde nursing students. Two of them are still speaking to him regardless of this oversight. Of the 9 he sent, Jerry knows that at least 3 were recieved with the same spirit given. One in particular has picked up a certain amount of buzz, however. The intended recipient, who we'll give the top secret designation "Mustang" has showed her card to at least one other young lady. We know if for a fact because this total stranger sang a song of a particulary personal nature at our Publisher to the tune of "Mustang Sally". Another recipient told Jerry that his card was "sweet". The best part is the cards cost a total of $3, and the blessing that was returned to him through the cards made him feel like at least $1 million after taxes.
In other MCC News, the position of Student Senator for the Multi Cultural Committee will be vacant when the incumbant, Bronson Heth of Winner, graduates this year. Jerry Hinkle has entertained the idea of running for the position. After all, he's fairly active in the MCC, has never missed a meeting, and has made freinds of all of the other active members. Jerry is handsome, like Senator Heth, on the Dean's list, like Senator Heth, and always willing to help anyone, just like Senator Heth. Jerry does lack Senator Heth's modesty, though. that may count against him. If Jerry does win, he'll always be doing that Senator Claghorn imitation. After a while, that could get, we say, that could get irritating. After a while, that is!
Summer Plans Underway
The DWU Financial Aid Office has asked Jerry Hinkle to commit to at least 6 hours of Summer School as part of his financial aid package. Jerry did so this afternoon. Of course, the Summer scheldule has yet to be made, but Professor Miller will have little trouble finding 6 hours of class time to fill for Jerry when the time comes.
Anne Frank Preparations Underway
Mary Hinkle reports that she has booked a hotel in Mitchell for the evening of March 28. So far Harold and Mary Hinkle, Ken and Joan Hansen, and Agnes Hahn have committed to attend the Friday night performance. No word on anyone else's plans as yet.
Mary has also decided to read up on "The Diary of Anne Frank" and to that end, has checked it out of the library. She may notice that the character played by Jerry Hinkle of Albert Dussel, DDS get made fun of a lot. That how all of us here at the Holabird Advocate are sure that Harold will really enjoy the show. Anyone who knows Jerry will not be amazed at how much he and Dussel have in common with each other.

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