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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007
McGovern Hall to get Wired
Well, Jerry's got to spend that Pizza Hut money somewhere! For just $50 installation and a $39 modem, McGovern Hall can get cable Internet for just $19.99/month. After thinking it over for a spell, Jerry decided to take the plunge. It may prove cost effective in the long run, as there will be few trips to the University library on Thursday night to do the weekly Reading Reflections for Classics of Christian Thought. Fewer walks to the Public library on cold winter days too!
Jerry made an appointment with Midcontinent for 3 pm Monday.
Comeback Fizzles-Ladies Sizzle
There were Hinkletons aplenty at the Wesleyan Idol finale on Monday. Five contestants vied for cash prizes, but it was the rejects that stole the show. Those rejects being Amy Price and Jerry Hinkle. During the intermission Amy and 3 other rejects dressed as nuns and sang a song from Sister Act. What they did for an encore shocked and amazed a certain courageous, dynamic individual. The ladies formed a gospel quartet singing an original composition of Amy's entitled, "Good News, Jerry Is Coming". It took Jerry a good while to figure out that they were singing about him. He thought the lyric was "Chariots a coming". Those who heard the right words were excited to know that Jerry was on the way. When Jerry took to the stage he tried his best to channel Elvis and belt out "That's When Your Heartaches Begin". He wasn't exactly on track, but the Hinkletons ate it up. Scott Lanning, DWU Student Senate President, and good Friend to our Publisher, introduced his parents to the Wesleyan Idle. You'd think Jerry was royalty the way folks carried on. At least it's truly over, and now all Jerry has to do at 10 pm next Monday is sleep
North of 40:Perpetual motion machine
by Red Green
"Iron man triathlons are for people
who can't experience childbirth"
Scientists have struggled with the concept of a perpetual motion machine for centuries. Something that will continue to operate without the infusion of more energy. The problem is always friction. Whenever you have friction, you somehow lose energy, which prevents you from getting back to where you started. Scientists find this very frustrating, but then scientists generally find life pretty frustrating. That's why they try to quantify it by reducing it to a mathematical or chemical formula. The reason they haven't been able to create a perpetual motion machine is because they refuse to allow a biological or spiritual component to be part of the mix. The universe has survived forever without the addition of energy. It must be a perpetual motion machine. And how about all of the living species that have survived for millions of years in a closed system? Maybe the problem is the perpetual motion machine is not a machine at all. It's a living thing. Maybe even human beings, through heredity, are the ultimate perpetual motion machine. Except for my grandfather. A machine would never ask anyone to pull its finger. And whatever energy zone he was in, it was definitely not perpetual motion.

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