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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Saturday, July 28, 2007
Hinkle Cleans House
With the return of Harold and Mary Hinkle imminent, Jerry Hinkle decided to take drastic action regarding the tidiness of the Ponderosa Ranch house. This started because Jerry lost the itinerary which told him how long before he didn't have the house to himself. After finding said itinerary, he discovered that they were due in the Twin Cities this evening. The house is not "hospital clean" as Floyd Brock would say, but given enough time, Jerry can get the newspapers neatly stacked and in chronological order. The living room floor will need work too, since Shelby and Justin Hinkle were here yesterday. 'Nuff said!
Everything happens at once, it seems. Jerry had a heck of a time getting a dead mouse off of the sticky trap this morning. The red calf slipped out of confinement this afternoon, and tonight is the night that Jerry has to water the corn and the back yard grass. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate are so glad that all this work that Jerry has to do hasn't kept him away from the home office today, or from Gunsmoke. Gotta love that Festus!
A New Mystery Tour
Some may wonder what's next for Harold and Mary. Well, Del Paulson has room for them on her next Mystery Tour. All they have to do is put their money where their mouth is (An unconventional method of payment, isn't it?) and the can be part of the tour. It's only a few hundred dollars apiece, and it's for the whole weekend. Just don't ask where they're going!
More About Lindsay Lohan
There have been rumors circulating that Lindsay Lohan was let go from her previous rehab prematurely (Ya think?) because she had a tendency to walk around the facility without the benefit of clothing. This was very distracting to the other clients (No kidding! ). It was reported that the male clients were particularly distracted. They'd stop talking because they'd forget what they were saying, try hard not to stare, and then go to another room because "Something suddenly came up". None of us here at the Holabird Advocate believe this because as it happens cameras are allowed at that center. If that were the case we'd be up to our eyeballs in naked pictures of Lindsay Lohan. Thank Jesus, this is not the case. It's not for lack of trying that this hasn't happened yet. Lindsay Lohan's family managed to hide her in another rehab center where the media is apparently not allowed. That is the best thing they could have done for her. If only they'd done that when the whole mess started. It's all up to her now. With God's help, she may do it right this time. Here's hoping!

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