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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Thursday, June 21, 2007
Tornado Warnings, High Winds, Crop Damage
What a Day to be in Central South Dakota. We had two tornado warnings, a severe thunderstorm and reports of crop damage from neighbors in Harold and Onida. And all this was before 9 am! The Ponderosa weather radio was all abuzz about the tornado warning in Potter and Sully Counties, as well as the severe thunderstorm warning in Hyde County.
Kristi Hinkle reports seeing broken window at the Dean and Alice Branine home north of Holabird. We are assuming that hail damage was the cause. The Ponderosa had a little rain and a lot of thunder. Some have speculated that the thunder was really E.E. Hinkle turning over in his grave over the possibility of one of his grandsons leaving the Democratic Party. Not much precipitation in the Keloland rain gauge. Just .09 of an inch of rain with a generous portion of bird droppings. They must prefer KSFY. Talk about birdbrains!
The Party's Over: Democratic Party a lost cause for voters opposed Iraq War?
Green Party leaders, preparing for the party's 2007 national meeting in Reading, Pennsylvania, July 12-15, called the Democratic Party a lost cause for Americans who oppose the Iraq War, and urged antiwar voters to support and join the Green Party as the 2008 election year approaches. Greens said the vote in Congress for full funding of the war amounted to a betrayal of Americans who voted Democrat in 2004 and 2006 in the hopes that a Democratic Congress would work for withdrawal of US troops. According to a CBS/NYT poll released last week, only 23% of the public approves of the way George Bush is handling the war in Iraq.
Captain 11: Smoke-ender
by Jerry Hinkle
courageous dynamic Publisher
of the Holabird Advocate
As most of you know, I have this thing about Captain 11. When I heard that former Keloland weatherman and personality, Dave Dedrick, who looks amazingly like the Captain, or at least he used to, is trying to quit smoking, I knew what I had to do. FIND CAPTAIN 11!!! I Sent a message to the Outer Galaxy. I asked for Captain 11 to help me to help his Friend Dave.
Here is his reply:
"Hi Crew! Captain 11 Reporting from the Andromeda System. I'm busy searching for someone kind, fair, and brave to help me control time. But for Dave, I got the perfect solution. See, Dave needs a substitute. Telly Savalas had lollipops, Ronald Reagan had jelly beans, and i have the solution for my old pal Dave! Tootsie Rolls!! Now this will only work if Dave follows the instructions that go with them."
1. Mind your wife and kids.
2. Eat everything they tell you to eat. (especially Tootsie Rolls)
3. Say your prayers when you go to bed at night.
(that's the most important part!)

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