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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Thursday, May 03, 2007
The Holabird Advocate Celebrates Milestone
Today all of us here at the Holabird Advocate present edition 1100! We've waited 64 months for it too! As it happens, we do it on the birthday of our Publisher, Joan Hansen. We won't give her true age, because she might give our Publisher's true weight.
Karl Krueger For President?
A Sioux Falls truck driver has had a brief run with fame. It appears that he is running for President of the United States as a serious candidate. Karl Krueger is a Conservative Democrat who has captured more lightning in his bottle than our Publisher, even though he announced his candidacy earlier than Mr. Krueger. All the major blogs were talking about him, even Keloland gave him a nice little shout out. The upshot is that our Publisher would give Mr. Krueger $50 if he had it to give. Maybe he'll come through with some of that "Independent" prize money
Memo To Teenage Boys: Don't Post Your Hit List
by Jerry Hinkle
courageous, dynamic Publisher of the Holabird Advocate
I have a few words that I want to say to all of the teenage boys out there. The rest of you are free to read on if you like. Boys, I heard something rather disturbing in the news the other day. A teenage boy got in trouble because he posted a hit list on his Facebook page. Don't any of you do that. Don't even think about it. I mean you're giving up the element of surprise.
OK, seriously! I know a little about this. I understand the anger that goes through your head. You see other guys that have it so much easier than you because their family has more money, while you have to pick up rocks in a field all afternoon after school. Privileged kids who are skinny, good looking and popular get all the breaks and the honors, while you get laughed at because you're different. Maybe there's that special girl who is perfect in every way, except that she doesn't even give you a thought. Perhaps there's a teacher that really gets your goat because no matter what you do, no matter how hard you study, you can't make the grade. Is that what gets you down? Like I said, I know all about that. I know all about you because I was you 20-25 years ago.
So don't post you hit list. Not so you can surprise the people on it with a shell full of lead. If you have to make a hit list, keep it to yourself. Do like I did and write the names down on paper, and put it in a drawer. In time this will all be a distant memory. Look at the paper later on, and you may find that you have forgotten why you wanted to "hit" all those people. At least I hope you do. Life is too short to be angry at everyone all around you.
Take comfort in knowing that in time things will even out. In 10 years time, all of those who you are angry at won't matter at all to you. It sounds like a long time to wait, but it's a drop in the bucket to the amount of time that you'll be locked up once you are arrested for murder, or the amount of time that you are dead after killing yourself.
In conclusion, let me say Put away the gun and watch "Sanford and Son"
North Of 40:Freedom 85
by Red Green
Here are some signs that you may not be as ready to retire as you think you are:
You have 47 years left on your mortgage payments.
Packard has recalled your car.
Your daughter has decided to become an artist.
The doctors can't guarantee that you'll die soon.
After a two-week vacation, your wife looks forward to you going back to work.
Your retirement fund relies on a winning lottery ticket.

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