Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
VOL. V Issue 12S
Oldest Living President Dies
Former President Gerald R. Ford died yesterday at the age of 93. He was the oldest living President. The biggest problem with being the oldest living anything in this world is that sooner or later you have to give up that title when you die. That's the way it was this year with the oldest living Hinkle earlier this year as well as 3 of the World's oldest living people. That is also the way it was with Presidents. Only difference is, Jerry Ford didn't make it to 100, while all the others we've mentioned did.
All of us here at the Holabird Advocate were tickled to hear Ford's political friends and foes alike heaping praise upon him. Everyone in the media is going out of their way to be nice to him in death, when in life they were less then kind, just like they did for Reagan a couple years back.
Ford's life was interesting to say the least. He started out life as a King. Yes, that's right, his birth name was Leslie King Jr. His birth father left the family, and his mother married a man named Gerald R. Ford. He liked the name so much that he legally changed it in 1935.
On top of being the only person who was never elected President and Vice President to serve in both capacities, he was also the last surviving member of the famous Warren Commission.
At 82, George Bush the elder is now the oldest living President. Should he live another 11 years, one wonders what will be said about him. We'll find out in 2017.
North of 40:Getting Ready for New Year's
by Red Green
I want to talk to all the middle-aged guys out celebrating New Year's this year.
This may seem premature, but don't be fooled. It's never to soon to start thinking about the traditional midnight New Year's kiss. You don't want to screw it up again this year.
You only have to remember one thing - kiss your wife first. Excuses don't work. Like "I thought I was kissing you," or "I tried to, but someone else's lips got in the way," or worse still, "Come on, honey, it's New Year's. I'm supposed to have fun."
Now, in order to kiss your wife at midnight, you have to be able to find her. That means you need to stay relatively sober throughout the evening.
If you're too inebriated to see, you can't recognize your wife. Braille is not an option. And after you do find her, and you're kissing her like she's your own personal Beauty Queen, don't be simultaneously making eye contact with Miss Congeniality. A split focus at that crucial moment can lead to other splits - a split lip, a splitting headache, or even a splitting wife.
Don't use New Year's as an excuse to reconnect with ex-girlfriends. Should old acquaintance be forgot? Absolutely! Especially if she's attractive, and she's at the party, and she's carrying around pictures of a 12-year-old boy who looks exactly like you.
A Few Words in Defense of Blogging
by Jerry Hinkle, Holabird Advocate Publisher
Ever since Time made "You" their Person of the Year, blogging has been given just a little more respect. That is by everyone except the national MSM. In Keloland it's not so bad, because they decided "If you can't beat 'em join 'em". As a result, Hemmingsen has the most well reasoned and insightful blog in the Dakotas (Don't tell him I said that!).
CBS is another deal all together. They sited a study that 13,000,000 people blog and that 39,000,000 people read those blogs. They say that means that each blog has 3 readers. Math would tell you that, right! WRONG!!!!! They forgot to say how many blogs the average reader reads. I myself read 5 blogs not counting this one (which I don't read because I just don't have the time). Nick Nemec reads 3 blogs that I know about. Another Reader Known as JD claims to read 4 blogs. As far as I can tell, we are doing better than HDTV because nobody that I know wants to admit to having that.
I have and average of 30 hits right now on the Holabird Advocate. SDWC has so many hits that the Professor must have more money than he can shake a stick on. Which should make his wife (Mary Ann?) very happy.
Blogging may not be here to stay, but it's not leaving anytime soon. We're just getting started!
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