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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

VOL. V Issue 12I
Cathrine Bach Making a Comeback?
It seems like just yesterday that Catherine Back lit up the small screen as Daisy Duke every Friday night at 7 pm Holabird Time. But yes indeed, it's been a bit longer than that. In fact, except for the odd "Dukes" reunion movie, Ms. Bach has not been in the public eye too much as of late. That has changed since she has appeared in a TV commercial for a spring loaded orthopedic shoe of some kind here in South Dakota. To be honest, when she came on the screen, we weren't looking at her feet.
She is also making plans to write her autobiographical memoirs, which will no doubt be ready so some future Christmas list of our Publisher.
No Consolidation for Harrold
It was closely approved by Harrold, but overwhelmingly defeated by Stanley County. Keloland, The Dakota Radio Group, and KCCR have all reported the defeat of this noble effort of our neighbors to the west to save their school.
Unlike those other media outlets, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate have a solution to this problem. It would require a little compromise, but it would be worth it. Our neighbors to the west could consolidate with our neighbors to the east, Highmore. They could build a school new School building in Holabird, and name the sports team the Holabird Hollyhocks (except for football, perhaps Holabirtd Hawks would be better). Anyhow, that's Just a modest proposal from your neighbors who are caught in the middle.
Top 10 Christmas Wishes
by Jerry Hinkle
1. Peace on Earth/ Good Will to Men (tie)
2. To be a Winner in the Jesus Sweepstakes
3. A working odometer for my car
4. A $64,000 scholarship to DWU
5. The Ditty Bops 2007 Calendar
6. The Ditty Bops "Moon Over The Freeway" Album
7. Dinner with SDBWM at the "all you can eat prime rib" restaurant of his choice
8. The episode of Doug Lund's "30" where he interviewed Williams and Ree on DVD
9. A Christmas Cookie recipe that doesn't involve heavy cream
10. To have a religious experience with Brittany Murphy
North of 40: Outdoors is not in
by Red Green
A lot of you guys out there could probably benefit from my experience. That's a nice way of saying that in the River of Time, I'm a little farther up the creek than you. Now, I bet that you still think of yourself as that virile outdoorsy guy you were 20 years ago, but I'm here to tell you that is no longer the case. As the years have passed, Nature has been taking its course, but you haven't been keeping up with the curriculum. Heading out into the wilderness at your age is just asking for trouble. Remember how you used to grab the old knapsack before hiking up the mountain? Now you need to grab a nap in the sack before hiking up your pants. Was the last white water you were in from spilling your Bromo in the Jacuzzi? And when's the last time you saw your hiking boots? Heck, when's the last time you saw your feet? Forget the wilderness. Would you rather leave your home and spend the day in the remote wilderness like your forbears? Or, would you spend the day at home with the remote and leave the wilderness for bears? Just settle into your Barcalounger, tune in to National Geographic and enjoy the natural disasters in total comfort. At our age, we don't need high adventure, we need high fiber. And, if you eat enough oat bran, you may get both.

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