Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!
Monday, October 09, 2006
VOL. V Issue 10C
No Holiday For Holabird Advocate
Because we were forced to take a three week vacation, all of us here at the Holabird Advocate have decided to celebrate America's discovery by working, just like Columbus himself did 514 years ago. Besides, we want to get 1000 posts cranked out before we change the name of the Newsblog next year.
Interestingly enough, we have done a little research Did you know that even though he set sail in 1492, he didn't get to the American continent until 1498? Mrs. Columbus must have nagged him to death to ask directions, eh. And by the way, Happy Thanksgiving to our Canadian Readers. As it happens, Our Publisher is part Canadian.
Of course, it is Native American Day in South Dakota. If your wondering about why we don't celebrate Columbus Day here, the reason is simple. He never made it this far inland. South Dakota does have Knights of Columbus, but more about that later. The person we feel sorry for is Amerigo Vespucci. He doesn't have any knights anywhere.
"In Fourteen-Hundred and Ninety-Two,
Columbus Sailed the Ocean Blue"
by Peter van der Krogt
In fourteen hundred ninety-two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He had three ships and left from Spain;
He sailed through sunshine, wind and rain.
He sailed by night; he sailed by day;
He used the stars to find his way.
A compass also helped him know
How to find the way to go.
Ninety sailors were on board;
Some men worked while others snored.
Then the workers went to sleep;
And others watched the ocean deep.
Day after day they looked for land;
They dreamed of trees and rocks and sand.
October 12 their dream came true,
You never saw a happier crew!
"Indians! Indians!" Columbus cried;
His heart was filled with joyful pride.
But "India" the land was not;
It was the Bahamas, and it was hot.
The Arakawa natives were very nice;
They gave the sailors food and spice.
Columbus sailed on to find some gold
To bring back home, as he'd been told.
He made the trip again and again,
Trading gold to bring to Spain.
The first American? No, not quite.
But Columbus was brave, and he was bright
Memo to the Knights of Columbus:
Keep your Hands Off of my Car!!!!!
by Jerry Hinkle
Holabird Advocate Publisher
It seems like every time Election Day comes near, some of you well meaning Knights of Columbus members decide to vandalize my car right there in the church parking lot. Every Sunday before Election Day, I find one of your flyers demanding that I vote Pro Life. The last time this happened, you guys upset me so that I declared right there in the church parking lot in front of God and everybody that I wished I could have given each and every one of you a retroactive abortion. It was not my finest moment.
This time I am warning you and you're ilk that if I find such a flyer on my motor vehicle this year, I'm going to vote just the opposite. As for which car is mine, well, I'm not going to tell you. I mean, really, you have to give it up. You're just preaching to the choir. You will not change the mind of those with of opposite opinions either.
If this sounds harsh, well, it was not my intention. I'll be praying for you, and I hope you guys will do the same for me. And let's all pray that the right decision is made in November as well.
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