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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Monday, June 19, 2006

VOL. V Issue 6H
Royalty Ascends the Throne
Thanks to a lot of help from Peg Zilverberg, the Holabird Advocate scooped the Highmore Herald once again. We have the first published photo of King John and Queen Dorothy Zilverberg. We've heard that becoming royalty has not changed their lifestyle as yet, but that John may be looking for someone to carry his golf clubs in the future. Dorothy was working at the Historical Society Museum this weekend, right along side the peasants. A lesson in true nobility if ever there was one.
Of course there were other things going on during Old Settler's weekend. Water pistols, and Super Soakers were also in the parade, because of this years theme of the Highmore Fire Department centennial. There have been a few rumors that a potato gun was fired in the city limits at least once, but no official word has come down, and no damage was reported.
Several classes had reunions, and one such class was the class of 1986. A class that rates a song by "Bowling for Soup", but probably won't get one. Less than half of the 31 graduates made it to the reunion. Even Jerry Hinkle walked all the way from the Come Hahn Inn to Chahl's in order to see what was left of the gang. Even though he has been out of High School for 20 years, Jerry learned something the night of his class reunion. In fact he learned plenty, but more of that later. After the reunion wound down, Jerry walked back to the come Hahn Inn to wait for his mother's reunion to be over, only to find that her reunion had been over 3 hours before. Darn the crummy cell phone reception anyhow.
McGovern Picks up the Pace
Former South Dakota U.S. Senator George McGovern has been dealing with an irregular heartbeat for more than 25 years. It hadn't been much of a cause for concern until the 83-year-old passed out while he was driving in Wisconsin.
Now Senator McGovern is in Mitchell tonight and resting comfortably thanks to a pacemaker. According to Keloland, this pacemaker can cost as much as 20-thousand dollars. As a point of reference, E.E. Hinkle's pacemaker cost about $14,000. Because the device runs on a battery, doctors say it eventually has to be replaced. That usually happens in seven to eleven years. E.E.'s First pacemaker lasted 8 months before it had to be replaced.
The Wit and Wisdom of Dan Quayle
Each of these statements were actually said by former Vice President J. Danforth Quayle
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
Great American sport. Horseshoes is a very great game. I love it.
I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.
I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake.
I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
Last, but not least, our personal favorite
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Top Ten List
by Jerry Hinkle
Holabird Advocate Publisher
From the home office in Holabird South Dakota:
"The Top Ten Things I learned at my High School Reunion"
1. Bob Haiwick is a Grandfather!
2. If I had known how well "Sexy Lexie" Glanzer was going to turn out, I'd have been a lot nicer to her in 6th grade! (a WHOLE lot nicer!)
3. On the days that Dad had me picking rock in the fields, he was actually keeping me out of all kinds of trouble! (Thanks, Dad)
4. LaNett Genzler makes a better class treasurer than Todd Roberts ( "Sexy Lexie" agrees with me on that as well)
5. If I had $300,000 to give to the City of Highmore, it would name rename the East Park, "Come to Jesus Park" and the ACLU couldn't do a cussed thing about it.
6. Some of my classmates actually drink water. (Yes, I was shocked too!)
7. There are 2 Les Smiths in Yankton, and they live on the same block.
8. Bonnie Boller loses weight as fast as I can gain it!
9. Even after 20 years, Lori Hart can still kill me with kindness!
10. I have to get together with these guys ( and gals) more often, I just have to!

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